Promise to Keep it Trill

by B. Love

  But it was a beautiful mess. One that she hoped they’d be able to make over and over and over again.

  33

  Carmen

  Carmen’s eyes squinted as she read the comments from some of her viewers. Normally, she’d have fifty to a hundred people watching her live at a time, but since she was on Facebook showing her natural ass, she had three hundred live viewers.

  Her head shook as she laughed at the people telling her to get off the live, but that wasn’t going to happen. Jaden had her fucked up, and since he’d blocked her and made it impossible for her to personally tell him, she was going live to do so.

  “Nah, fuck that. He be having people watching me, so I’m going to give his ass a show.”

  She chuckled before inhaling a deep puff of her marijuana filled cigar.

  “Fuck him,” she yelled as the smoke exited through her nostrils.

  “Jaden Bitch Ass Wannabe Sheperd had the nerve to send some folks to my house to serve me! He thinks I’m going to allow him to have custody of my fucking daughter.”

  Carmen leaped from her seat and walked over to Bella. “This lil girl right here. She mine. I’ll be damned if I let him or any of my other deadbeat ass baby daddies take my fucking kids from me!”

  She was hyped by the few comments she saw of people agreeing with her, but her attitude came right back when her aunt told her not to be smoking in front of her kids.

  “Fuck them kids,” she joked before quickly adding, “Let me not say that on my live before these hoes think I’m serious and tell Jaden. My kids are well taken care of. A little blunt smoke is not going to hurt them. I could see if I was smoking cigarettes. They good.”

  When her live was interrupted by a call from Kannon, she quickly ended it.

  “What’s up?” she answered.

  “What’s this I hear about you showing ya ass on live?”

  Carmen chuckled. “Mane, Jaden’s hoe ass is suing me for full custody of my baby, Kannon.”

  “What! For what?”

  “Because I fucked up his car!”

  “Why did you do that?” Kannon asked, voice strained.

  “Because he said some slick shit about you and Kendall, and you know I don’t play that shit. He’s lucky I didn’t kick the door down and go at him and his bitch with my bat.”

  “I get that, but you know Jaden don’t be on what you on. You should’ve took that to the chin or called me and let me handle it.”

  With a huff, Carmen puffed her blunt. “Well, it’s too late for that now. He’s basically trying to make it seem like I’m an unfit mother and Bella would be better off living with him fulltime.”

  “And you think going live talking shit smoking and drinking shows the opposite?” Her shoulders slouched. “You gotta keep in mind who you fucking with, C. That mane is a lawyer so he’s well connected. He married his second baby mama, and they have a more stable environment in the suburbs. The last thing you wanna do is give the judge any kind of ammunition. I can guarantee you that nigga had somebody on yo’ live screenshotting that shit.”

  “You right. I know he did. That’s why I did it, but I was so upset I wasn’t thinking about him trying to use it against me. I just wanted to talk my shit and make him mad.”

  Kannon sighed. “You gon’ talk yo’ shit alright. You gon’ talk so much shit you gon’ be the reason his ass win. Lay the fuck low and stop entertaining these folks. I been told you to keep your ass off live anyway.”

  “You know what, Kannon? Fuck you!”

  “Fuck me?”

  “Yeah, nigga! Fuck you! It’s your fault I’m in this predicament any damn way!”

  “How is it my fault, Carmen?”

  “Because! I only got with Jaden to feel better about not having my daughter! Had you acted right from the jump, we could have been together and Kendall would have been safe…”

  “What part of I never wanted a fucking family with you or anyone else do you not understand, Carmen? It don’t matter if I would have accepted Kendall when she was first born or not, she still would not have been safe! She’s gone now and you still can’t get that through your hardheaded ass? I’m convinced you just don’t want to accept the truth! I ain’t good for shit but dick! That’s the fuck it!”

  Carmen growled when he hung up the phone in her face. The last thing she wanted to do was make him feel bad when he’d called to calm her down and talk some sense into her, but this was almost always how their conversations ended if they lasted for more than a minute.

  It didn’t matter how much she tried not to, Carmen hated how much she loved Kannon. How much potential they had. How different things could have been if he would have done what she wanted them to do when she first told him she was pregnant. It didn’t matter how many men she’d fucked off with since him or how many years had passed, she would always blame Kannon’s rejection of their daughter for Kendall’s death and the downward spiral her life had taken because of it. It didn’t matter how good he tried to be to her, her anger and resentment wouldn’t allow her to appreciate anything Kannon offered her. At this point, all Carmen wanted from Kannon was Kendall, and since that was something he’d never be able to give her… she vowed to make him pay.

  34

  Ariel

  Ariel had Rico’s dick so far down her throat, when her bedroom door was busted in, she accidentally bit down on it and choked when he pulled it out. Rico cried out in agony as he clutched his dick. Before either of them could piece together what was happening, bullets were entering Rico’s temple and chest. Ariel screamed, realizing she had nowhere to run.

  As she scooted back to the corner, tears poured from her eyes while she trembled. Rico’s body fell limp as two of the three masked men quickly left her bedroom. The last one who had stayed behind slowly walked over to her. Ariel pleaded for her life, whimpering as he squatted in front of her.

  Her eyes went wide when he removed his black ski mask and revealed himself to her.

  “Kannon?” she whispered in disbelief.

  Licking his lips, Kannon looked back at Rico’s lifeless body.

  “You wanna end up like him?” Her head shook adamantly. “Then you ain’t seen shit, right?” It shook again. “You don’t know shit, right?” It shook a third time. “Get the fuck outta Memphis and don’t look back, or I’ma dish you a fate worse than Lot’s wife, you feel me?”

  “Ye-yes,” she whispered, tears tumbling down her cheeks.

  Kannon stood and looked at Rico once more before heading out of her room.

  While Ariel was sure them fucking off wasn’t the reason Rico had lost his life, she was immediately filled with guilt. The last thing she wanted was for things to get physical and violent when she first brought Rico home. In her mind, fucking with one of Kannon’s friends was risky. Sexy. The ultimate get back for every time he’d rejected what she had to offer if it went beyond sex. It boosted her confidence to know she was fucking with two powerful friends.

  But as she watched the blood pour from Rico’s body, she hated allowing him to use her to get to Kannon. He’d made it clear their first night together that he couldn’t be trusted. Now… Ariel wished she would have stayed away…

  35

  Makayla

  Makayla didn’t know how she would feel when she saw Jason after almost five years. Her leg shook underneath the table rapidly as she pulled in calming breaths. Of all the things she had in mind to say to him, when he walked inside of the visitation room, all words failed her.

  Her eyes took in his tall frame from head to toe, just to go back to his head again. As always, it was covered in a black beanie. His high cheek bones and prominent square jaw line were as appetizing as they always were. Naturally arched brows hovered over tight, piercingly beautiful espresso colored eyes. Jason’s skin was the color of chocolate Goobers, which was her favorite candy… until he left.

  Now, the sight of them always made her turn her nose up because she thought of him. His full, skin colored lips were enveloped
by a scruffy short beard and long goatee. Even in prison, the big, gold cross necklace she’d given him their first Christmas together hung around his neck. Swallowing hard, Makayla inhaled a deep breath as her eyes lowered. When Jason sat across from her, she continued to avoid his eyes as she pulled hair behind her ears.

  “Hello,” he greeted, and even though she’d heard his deep voice over the years when Kannon had his call on speaker, there was something about hearing it directed to her after all this time that made her eyes water.

  But Makayla had promised not to shed another tear over Jason again.

  So she blinked rapidly until her eyes dried up.

  “Hi,” she offered, looking at him briefly before looking down at her open palms in her lap.

  The sound of his low chuckle made her grit her teeth. “You can’t look at me?” Her head shook. “It’s been almost a nickel, bae. You ain’t got shit to say to a nigga either?” Her head shook again as she licked her lips. “Then why did you come?”

  “You said you wanted to see me before you left.”

  “And that’s the only reason you came?”

  With a nod, Makayla gripped her arm and squeezed. “Yeah.”

  Jason sighed. “Can we have a truce?” Slowly, Makayla’s eyes lifted to his. “You are so beautiful.” Blushing, she lowered her head. “Look at me.” She did. His head shook. “How did I ever snatch you?”

  Her smile widened. “Flattering me will not make me talk to you.”

  “I’m telling the truth. You’re even more beautiful than I remember. I guess life and motherhood have been good to you, huh?”

  Makayla’s smile wavered slightly. “About that…”

  Jason’s head shook as he dismissed her with a wave of his hand. “I chose to leave you in a whole other country because I thought that was what was best for you. You chose to keep my son from me because you thought that was best for him. We both fucked up, and I’m willing to put both behind us if you are.”

  “Why did you do that?” Her voice strained as she fought back fresh tears.

  “It was the only thing I knew to do.” He shrugged. “I wanted to give you some good memories before I left, and I knew if I talked to you about it, you would convince me to run. And I would’ve, but that’s not the life for a nigga like me. I’m freer here than I would have been on the run. And I would not have wanted to risk your life and freedom like that either.”

  “But we could have gone to another country and lived our life there. We wouldn’t have had to run. We had options, Jason.”

  He sighed, slumping down in his seat. “I’m sorry,” was all he offered. “I just… felt like that was what was best.”

  She couldn’t deny how calm he felt. How much he looked to be at peace. There was no denying how stressed out and paranoid his lifestyle had him at times, but that appeared to be gone. And while Makayla wanted to be happy for him because of that, it was hard when the same act was the one that ripped her soul apart.

  Makayla released a shaky breath. “I know you did. I know how much the streets and the code you live by means to you. Even though I was prepared for you to one day leave me, I just, I guess I didn’t take into consideration how that would really feel.”

  Jason’s head tilted. “You know I love you with all my fuckin’ heart, right?” Makayla’s chin trembled and she smiled and fought her tears with a nod. “That shit was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do.”

  When his arm extended across the table, Makayla looked down at his hand for a few seconds before putting hers inside.

  “I think we handled each other how we were used to being handled by our parents. Reacted how we were used to reacting to our parents actions. We had a lot of issues back then, and I’m working through mine now, so I’ve grown a little. Enough to know I’m not that same person anymore.”

  “Good. I’m proud of you. I know I haven’t been in your life, but Kannon kept me up with what was going on with you. Congratulations on becoming director of your daycare. I don’t see how you put up with all those bad ass kids.”

  Makayla chuckled as his grip on her hand tightened. Caressing it with her thumb she countered with, “My kids are not bad! Some of them just lack structure and discipline, but that’s what me and my teachers are there for.”

  “How’s Austin?”

  Her smile widened. “He’s perfect, Jason. Really.” She paused. “He’s smart and silly when he wants to be. He picks up on the things my stepfather and Kannon say and do, so he be walking around with his black tee and jeans on with a gold chain like them calling men his guy and shit. It be so cute.” Jason chuckled as his eyes watered. “I’m sorry for keeping him from you…”

  His head shook. “You made the right decision.” Jason removed his hand from hers. “That night, I wanted to get you pregnant. I wanted to give you someone to remember me by since we couldn’t be together. But when you didn’t say anything about it, I realized, you not having my child was for the best.”

  “Wait.” Makayla chuckled. “So you got me pregnant on purpose?”

  “That’s neither here nor there.”

  “Jason!”

  “What!” His arms flailed as he fought back a laugh. “It don’t matter no more. He here now.”

  Makayla’s eyes rolled as she crossed her arms over her chest and shook her head. “I cannot believe you.”

  “What I was trying to say is… the way I felt when I found out about our son… that shit sparked something inside of me. Something I thought had died long ago. But… it made me want to do whatever it takes to get out of here to be there for my son.”

  Makayla chuckled. “Well that’s not possible since you turned yourself in. Now I’m more than okay with you talking to Austin regularly. I would even be willing to bring him to visit you in Cali once or twice a month. But I would need you to promise me that you will not get into anything to put my son’s life in jeopardy.”

  “I give you my word. If I had to break out this mothafucka to make sure you and my son were straight that’s what I would do.”

  “Well… only Austin would need you. I’m good.”

  He smiled. “Why? Because you got Kannon?”

  She shrugged, unable to keep herself from smiling. “Yeah. I trust him with my life. My son’s life too. Obviously you did as well or you wouldn’t have damn near given me to him.”

  “He told you about the promises I had him to make concerning you?” Makayla nodded. “It was because I love you, Mak.”

  With a sigh, Makayla ran her hands up and down her thighs. “Is that all you wanted to talk to me about?”

  “You can’t tell me you love me too?”

  “It doesn’t matter.”

  “Why not?”

  “We’re not together anymore.”

  “Not now, no, but…”

  Makayla chuckled as she stood. “No. No buts. What we had is over. You made sure of that.”

  Jason stood as well. “You should be glad a nigga released you. I gave you the chance to live life without being tied down to me. It ain’t shit I can do for you behind these bars…”

  “That wasn’t your call to make,” she roared, slamming her palm down onto the table as her chest heaved. “That was my life, my heart, my choice! You didn’t protect my heart or do me any fucking favors, Jason. You broke my heart beyond repair. I haven’t even been in a real relationship since you because I don’t trust these niggas. I can’t wait for the day they decide to try and control my love and my heart and make decisions for me that hurt me. So if you’re expecting me to thank you for letting me go, you’ll be waiting for the rest of your life.”

  “Then let me fix it,” he requested softly, slowly making his way into her direction. “If this is what you want, let me give it to you.”

  “No.” Her head shook rapidly as she extended her hands and kept him from getting too close. “I will never trust you with my heart again.”

  “I don’t accept that.”

  “You don’t have a choice!”


  “I always have a choice, and I choose you.”

  Her head shook in disbelief as she stared at him for a few seconds. When she realized he was serious, Makayla headed for the door.

  “You can connect with your son, not me. I want nothing to do with you personally.”

  “That’s what you saying but I know that’s not how you really feel.”

  “You’ve made it clear you don’t give a fuck about either, so like I said, there is nothing between us.”

  As she opened the door and left, Jason yelled out, “You mine, Makayla. I’ma make sure of that.”

  36

  Kannon

  Makayla had been distant since her trip to see Jason. While Kannon had no choice but to accept and respect it, he also wanted her to know he was here for her – as always. Makayla hadn’t been as open and communicative as she normally was. When he was spending time with Austin, she gave them space, and he hadn’t been alone with her all week. She hadn’t been by the warehouse to count the money or take their usual trip to drop it off, and that was the final straw for Kannon.

  He was about to be upset when he called and she didn’t answer, but when he went into her home and saw that her phone was in the kitchen and she wasn’t, Kannon let it ride. As he looked at her, seated on her back porch, Kannon considered giving her space. It was obvious she wanted to be alone, but he wouldn’t be able to rest until he knew she was okay. After checking in on Austin and going over the worksheet he had to complete before school in the morning, Kannon went back downstairs and found Makayla still seated Indian style.

  The sun was setting, and she looked to be at peace with a glass of wine in one hand and a blunt in the other. Knocking on the glass door, Kannon pulled it back, then stepped outside. Instead of sitting in the brown cushioned chair next to hers, he stood and said, “I just wanted to make sure you good. If you need space, just let me know.”