Fusion

by Diana Kane

  “Hello.” She has long dark hair, brown eyes and a warm smile.

  “Hi. How are you?” I’m not typically a big flirt or even talkative with strangers when I’m sober, but liquid courage has lifted those inhibitions.

  “Very good.” She grins at me, revealing the slightest of gaps between her front teeth. “You?”

  “I’m well, thanks.” I turn to look for Catherine and find she has moved down the bar a little ways and is chatting with a middle aged man. Sandra brings the woman a drink and shoots me a quick smile.

  “Your girlfriend?” The stranger’s question pulls my attention away from Catherine.

  “Oh, no. Just friends. I’m Alexis.” I offer her my hand, she firmly shakes it. Good start, I am not a fan of weak handshakes.

  “Laura. So what are you up to tonight?”

  “We’re having our holiday bar crawl. Most of us have already headed back to the house to continue the party. We are waiting for the taxi to come pick us up.”

  “You sure that isn’t your girlfriend? She keeps looking over here.”

  I look over at Catherine. She seems alright. I try to suffocate the pang of jealousy I feel seeing Catherine talking to the strange man. I refocus my attention on the attractive Laura who might actually be interested in me. “No, not my girlfriend. What about you, what are you doing tonight?”

  “Meeting some friends here for drinks. Nothing exciting.” I realize my phone is vibrating. I check it and discover that our cab has arrived.

  “Well Laura my cab just arrived. Nice meeting you.”

  “You as well. Have a nice night.”

  I make my way towards Catherine. “There you are darling!” Catherine wraps her arms around me. What is she doing? She must be drunk.

  “Hey, the cab is here. You ready?”

  “Finally. Lets go.” We settle into the cab and Catherine turns on me. “I thought you had a system in place. I was waiting for you to come save me from that self centered man. I hope at least you got her number since you abandoned me.” I have no idea what she is talking about, but she is fuming.

  “System? What are you talking about? You needed saving? Things seemed fine from where I was sitting.”

  “Well they weren’t but you were too busy flirting with that woman to notice.”

  “I wasn’t flirting, we were just chatting. I turned and you were gone. What was I supposed to do, just come over and kiss you?” I feel myself flush as my attention is pulled to Catherine’s lips, lips made for kissing, lips that I long to kiss. Somehow I manage to fight the ever growing urge bubbling inside me.

  “You did it for Abby.”

  “Abby is like my sister. It is easy to rescue her.”

  “What, it would be difficult to do the same for me?” Not difficult at all I think to myself and unconsciously lick my lips.

  “Not difficult, just different. Abby and I are in a different place than you and I are. I didn’t even see you signaling for me.”

  “What does that even mean “a different place”?” Catherine animatedly throws air quotes trying to emphasize her point. I see the driver look at me in the rearview mirror, it seems like even he has it figured out.

  I have no filter syndrome most of the time, when I’m drunk it is all of the time. The words fly out before I know that I’m going to say them. “It means that I haven’t had a sex dream about Abby so kissing her isn’t a big deal!” My hand flies up over my mouth too late, the words are out, loud and clear. Oh fuck what have I confessed?

  Catherine just stares at me. I have no idea what she is thinking. I’m not even sure I want to know what she is thinking. The fire is still lit in her eyes, the little vein in her forehead that pulses when she is angry starts to slow. “Well did you get her number at least?” Catherine isn’t pacified but at least seems willing to move on. I take the subject change and run with it. Maybe she doesn’t realize what I said.

  “No, I told you were were just chatting.”

  “Just chatting? She was clearly flirting with you!”

  Now it is my turn to be confused. “No she wasn’t! I barely got her name.”

  “Well name or no name she was flirting.”

  “Was she? I never know when someone is flirting with me unless they are blatantly obvious. She would pretty much have to come up and just lay one on me for me to pick up on it.”

  “Trust me, she was flirting.” Catherine is still irritated. My drunkenness paired with my ever increasing desire for Catherine make me want to slide across the seat and kiss her just so she will stop arguing.

  “What are we even arguing about? It doesn’t matter if she was or wasn’t flirting. Why is it so important to you anyway?”

  Catherine stammers then sits silently for a moment, I watch as her poker face easily slips back into place. “It isn’t. You’re right. I don’t know why we are arguing at this point.” Is this one of those times Taylor referred to the other night? Has Catherine just given up on the argument? I hope to myself that it is because I am too drunk to deal with it.

  Mercifully the cab arrives at Shannon and Kevin’s. Catherine pays the fare while I head inside for a drink.

  *****

  “Hey you guys are just in time for shots!”

  I’m not even sure who said it. My mood has been soured, never a good time for me to be drinking. “Great, make mine a double.” Catherine doesn’t look pleased. At the moment I don’t care what does or does not please her. Then I realize that isn’t true. At this moment if she doesn’t like it, I’m only going to want to do it more.

  “Want to tell me what happened after the rest of us left?” Abby knows me so well. At least she keeps her voice hushed so only I can hear her.

  “I would if I even knew. We were having a drink at the bar, a woman came up and said hi, Catherine was talking to some guy further down the bar. The cab rang to say they were there. In the cab she jumps my ass about not rescuing her the way I rescued you and something about the woman I was talking to flirting with me.”

  “Well I certainly didn’t expect all that. So what you’re just going to drink doubles because she won’t like it?” I was wrong about everyone being drunk, clearly Abby is not. Too damn observant is what she is.

  “Maybe. Where is Taylor?”

  “Oh no. I am not going to let you do that. That is a line you don’t want to cross.” Abby grabs my upper arm and steers me towards the bar.

  Abby is right. She usually is. I take a deep breath and slowly release it. “I know. I don’t even know what I did wrong though. I wasn’t flirting. I barely got that woman’s name, much less her number.”

  “It sounds like you’ve just had a miscommunication. Don’t let it ruin your night.” Of course Abby is taking the diplomatic approach. Leave it to my best friend to be Switzerland. I see Catherine making her way towards us. I am not ready to talk to her yet.

  “It is too hot in here. I’m going outside for a few.”

  “Yeah stick your head in some snow and calm down while you’re out there.” Abby smiles at me as I walk away.

  I make my way out into the frigid night air, pulling a deep breath in. I hope the cold air and the silence around me will help calm me down. My peace and quiet is short lived though.

  “Avoiding me now?” I stiffen, still not in the mood.

  “Nope, just looking for your sister.” I know it is a low blow but I still don’t care.

  “Really Alex?” Catherine gives up and turns to head back inside.

  “Wait! That was wrong. I’m sorry. Why did you follow me out here?” I watch as Catherine wobbles her way to me. She is clearly drunk.

  “I want to talk to you.”

  “Like you spoke to me in the cab? If that is what is happening, no thanks.” Catherine has finally stumbled her way to my side.

  “I’m sorry ok? Can we just forget it?”

  “Catherine I don’t even know what I’m supposed to forget. I have no idea what I did wrong.”

  “You didn’t do anything wro
ng. I’m sorry. Forgive me?”

  “Do you ever feel like one of us is always having to apologize to the other one?”

  “Yeah, I’ve noticed that. Probably what you get when you put two strong personalities together. Forgive me?” There is a new look on Catherine’s face, a look of defeat mixed with shame. She looks like she might cry, or it could just be the alcohol. I’m not sure.

  “I suppose so.” Before I can stop her Catherine has me wrapped up in a tight embrace and won’t let me go. Her warmth a stark contrast to the frigid late December air, the vanilla scent she wears making my head spin. She isn’t letting me go and I know I don’t want her to. More than anything I want to draw her face to mine and kiss her. Her scent is more inebriating that the alcohol I’ve consumed as I slowly turn my head into her, softly running the tip of my nose over her clavicle and against the side of her neck.

  “Don’t let us interrupt.” Taylor and Nikki have emerged from the house, Nikki lighting a cigarette. Catherine jumps away from me like I’ve electrocuted her. I know this problem is mine, but her reaction to being seen by Taylor seems unwarranted. I simply shake my head slightly and head back inside, leaving the three of them on their own.

  Catherine

  I wake up with the worst case of dry mouth in the history of the world. My head is pounding more than an entire drum line. My memory of last night is a haze. I look across the bed, I’m alone. One checkpoint cleared. I look down. I’m half naked. My bedroom door is open and I can see my pants in the hallway. I look at the nightstand for my phone. It isn’t there. In its place are a glass of water and a bottle of Gatorade. I down the water and grab my robe. I go down the hall to the room Taylor is using, she isn’t here. I make my way to the basement, hoping she isn’t with Alex. I can’t hear any sounds drifting up the stairs. I head down the steps. No sign of Taylor. Alex’s bedroom door is open so she isn’t home either. Only I catch from the corner of my eye that she is home, and she is very naked. I catch myself staring at her lying there. Her toned body is beautiful. No wonder Taylor took a shot at her. I make my way back upstairs to find my phone and guzzle more water.

  I’m stirred out of my half conscious coma by the front door opening and shutting. Clearly drunk Alex and Catherine don’t bother to close or lock doors. I look up to see Taylor coming in. Of course she looks perfectly fine. “Good night?”

  “Great night, unexpected but great.” Taylor is wearing the shit eating grin I’ve seen too many times. I have a feeling what or more like who she has been doing.

  “Managed to sleep with Nikki I take it? Crossing straight girl off your list now?”

  “Oh Cat. How many times have I told you, there is no such thing as straight. Speaking of, what is going on between you and Alex? Had I known there was something there I wouldn’t have tried to get her into bed the other night. You should have told me.”

  I have no idea what she is talking about, but feel my heartbeat start to pick up anyway. “Well you clearly know something I don’t. There isn’t anything going on between Alex and I.”

  “Then what did Nikki and I interrupt last night? Looked like more than nothing to me. You only jumped a mile when you realized someone else had joined you. You’ve never been a jumpy person.”

  “Taylor I have no idea what you are talking about. I don’t remember any of that.” My head is still pounding so hard that I can’t think.

  “Sure you don’t. You look like hell, you should go back to bed.”

  “Good idea.” I slump off back to my bed, relishing the darkness provided by the blackout curtains. I lay there, unable to fall asleep. What was Taylor talking about? How can I not remember anything?

  Alexis

  New Years Eve brings about another party at Shannon and Kevin’s. Kevin’s birthday is December 31, so we always combine parties and have it at theirs. I promise myself that I won’t be drinking nearly as much as I did at the holiday bar crawl.

  Catherine and I arrive at the party to find everyone else already there. Taylor is paired off with Nikki again. If it bothers Catherine she hasn’t mentioned it. I look around for Abby and find her with a man I haven’t met yet, but assume he is the neighbor. Apparently that ship hasn’t sailed after all. A realization hits me like a bolt of lightening, if no one else shows up Catherine and I will be the only single people here. Sara is on call so the chances anyone else will be here are slim.

  “There you are! I’ve been waiting for you to get here! Come on I want to introduce you to someone.” Abby is overly excited and will drag me across the room if I don’t come willingly. “Alex this is Dave, Dave my best friend Alex.”

  Dave and I shake hands and exchanged pleasantries. “Who is this?” Dave asks while eye fucking Catherine. It instantly pisses me off. I know that he has told Abby that he isn’t ready for anything serious but he came here with Abby, at least focus on her tonight. I know deep down that probably isn’t that only reason it angers me. At least Catherine ignores it entirely or doesn’t realize it is happening.

  “Sorry, this is Catherine, Catherine meet Dave.”

  “Nice to meet you. So you two are together then?” This guy is a creep. Abby deserves, and can do so much better.

  Catherine gives Dave a grin and shakes her head. “No, Alex and I are just friends.” I need to step away from Dave before I say something. Abby apparently has something to get off her chest though.

  “Yeah friends who live together, work together and go pretty much every where together.” I turn toward Abby giving her my best what the fuck look. It is only a little after 9, can she really be that drunk already? Abby, completely oblivious to my irritation, is already refocused on Dave.

  “It is true that we do spend a lot of time together.” At least Catherine has caught my extreme level of annoyance toward Abby. If she is bothered by Abby’s comment she doesn’t let it show. The patented Catherine poker face is firmly in place.

  “If you’ll excuse me I’m going to get something to drink. Catherine do you want anything?” If I don't move away from Abby and Dave I will end up saying something I might regret later. I can only bite my tongue for so long.

  “Actually I think I will come with you. It was nice meeting you Dave. Abby.” There it is, Catherine’s voice becomes pointed as she says their names. The slightest hint that Catherine was at least bothered by Abby’s comment and Dave’s behavior. Catherine grabs my arm and whispers in my ear, “What was that? First her date is ogling me and then Abby makes that statement!” The smell of her perfume permeating my nostrils combined with the caress of her breath on my ear and neck gives me chills. I want to slam this woman up against the wall and make her moan louder than she ever has. I shake the visual away as quickly as possible and try to free myself but Catherine won’t let go.

  “I have no idea. This is my first time meeting him and I already dislike him. What a creep. As for Abby, she hasn’t even said so much as a word to me about the time you and I spend together. I don’t know if she is drunk, jealous, or what is happening.”

  “Really? Not a word?” Catherine has that eyebrow cocked, I know she doesn’t believe me. The fantasy of taking her against the wall darts back into my mind.

  “The only thing she has ever said about any of it is that she thought it was a bad idea that I was moving into your basement.”

  “Why did she think that?” Catherine looks hurt. I didn’t say it to hurt her, nor did I think it would.

  I realize then that I am still toting around Kevin’s birthday gift. I look around for him and see him by the bar. Great, a multipurpose trip. If I can get there fast enough maybe Catherine will forget about the Abby question. Of course that is too much to hope.

  “Alex, why did she think it was a bad idea?” She tightens her grip on my bicep and forces me to stop. There is no getting out of answering her question. I will be forced to admit things to her that I would rather keep to myself.

  “In a nutshell: When Elena and I were having problems I told Abby about meeting you…how sexy
I though you were. Then you came to work here and I still found you attractive. Abby didn’t think it was a good idea because of that and because we work together.” Catherine relaxes her grip on my arm but doesn’t release it. She has a look on her face that I’ve never seen before. I wish I could read her. We stand there in silence for a brief moment, the din of the party going on around us. Finally Catherine speaks but I can’t hear her. “It is loud in here. What was that?”

  “You never said.” I’m pretty sure that I did say the other night in the cab, clearly she doesn’t remember that or falling down in the hallway while she stripped off her jeans, forcing me to help her remove them. Clearly she has no idea that she essentially forced me to put her to bed or the conflicting emotions the entire event stirred in me.