THE BACHELOR'S BED

by Jill Shalvis

  "So pretty," came his soft, husky voice, so silky and light it felt like an embrace.

  Startled, Lani blushed. "I … do?"

  "Lemon in your tea, Lani?" Irene whirled back from the refrigerator. She smiled at the sight of Colin clearly doting on Lani.

  "Please," Lani managed, her gaze never leaving Colin's. "Lemon would be great."

  Colin didn't smile. His eyes gave nothing away except for that flash of recognition of what stood between them.

  She wanted to touch him again, assure herself he was really there and for a little while, hers.

  What was happening? This wasn't just a physical yearning, it went much deeper. And suddenly, the truth hit her. She wasn't capable of making up the feelings that he required for this silly pretense, not when the feelings were becoming real.

  As if he could read her disturbing thoughts, Colin's eyes shuttered against her. He leaned back against the counter, his rugged body moving with easy, economical grace.

  Oblivious to the arrow-taut tension between them, Irene was a study in movement, never standing still as she got a tray, some glasses, sliced a lemon and continued to talk without a breath. "I can only imagine how overwhelming this all is to you, Lani. Getting married! My, there's just so much to do, so much to think about. I hope you'll let me and my sisters help you, we just can't wait."

  Colin, still watching Lani, finally let a smile touch his lips. "Did I mention how wildly enthusiastic my mother would be? Let's hope she tells the entire world so everyone will be sure to stop calling and telling me I need a date."

  "Oh, you," Irene shook her head. "Stay out of this. I'm having a talk with my future daughter-in-law."

  Maybe it was the title, or it might have been the sincere, warm, fondness in which Irene spoke, but at his mother's bubbly happiness, Colin's smile slowly faded.

  It was replaced by worry, guilt, regret. And Lani felt every one of those emotions as well.

  "I've so looked forward to this," Irene said, laughing.

  Colin actually winced at that, and, at his obvious misery at having to lie, Lani's heart ached.

  She reached for his hand. At the touch, he jerked in response, but he didn't pull away. She considered that great progress. "It's lovely that you came to visit, Mrs. West—"

  "Oh, but you mustn't sound so formal! Please, call me Irene." She tossed a grin over her shoulder and looked twenty years younger. "Or Mom, if you think you can manage."

  Mom. How many years had she wished for such a woman in her life? To be so freely given one now, when it was all just a hoax, seemed cruel. Sitting there between Colin, the man of her dreams, and his mother, a sweet, kind woman so full of heart, Lani wasn't sure she could pull it off.

  "It's almost too good to believe." Irene was watching them closely. "Are you sure you're going to marry my son?"

  "I—" Startled by the question, Lani looked at Colin. She'd promised. This predicament was her own doing now. But to out-and-out lie… She'd not imagined how it would make her feel. "Yes, I want to marry your son," she said, and to Lani's relief, Irene accepted that.

  "Good." Satisfied, Irene turned back to the counter.

  It was hard to think with the weight of the lie dragging at her. Some of her happiness drained. Colin lifted her chin with a finger, looking deeply into her eyes with gratitude, and for the life of her, she couldn't turn away.

  "Mom," he said quietly, still watching Lani, "I know you just got here, but I really need a moment alone with Lani."

  "Oh! Of course." Irene smiled slyly as she wiped her hands on a towel. "She just got home and you haven't seen her all day. What was I thinking? I understand what young love is like." With a dramatic sigh, her expression turned dreamy. "And I can't tell you how wonderful it is to know that you've found that kind of true passion, son."

  The remorse and sorrow on Colin's face matched that in Lani's heart. How could they continue to do this? How could they lie to this woman?

  "Well at least I know I can stop trying to help you find it," Irene said. "I can't tell you what a relief that is to me."

  "Or me," Colin murmured.

  Irene backed to the door, watching them with such affection that Lani felt like slime. "I'll just run upstairs and tell Bessie and Lola you're here." She grinned again. "My sisters are dying to meet you."

  "Can you hold them off a few minutes?" Colin asked. He gestured to Lani. "I need—"

  "Oh, Colin." Irene sighed wistfully, her hand over her heart. "Just to hear you say it. That you need. It's so beautiful. I've never known you to need anyone at all, not me, not your father, not friends or even a woman. You've always been so self-sufficient."

  And alone, Lani thought. Could she fix that for him? Could she teach him the joys of true love, even when she didn't know them herself?

  Irene turned to Lani. "In just a few short moments, you've given me such pleasure, you'll never know."

  "I'm glad," Lani whispered, guilt tugging at her.

  "Oh, we're going to have the most wonderful time." Irene's eyes lit up. "We'll throw you an engagement party next weekend. Of course, everyone will come."

  Colin looked decidedly not excited. "Wait a minute—"

  "No, don't thank me, darling." She grinned. "I insist." Then she was gone.

  The silence in the kitchen was deafening.

  Colin made no move to break it. Feeling awkward and uncertain, Lani moved around the table. She lifted her pathetic-looking plants and arranged them in the window.

  Silly as it was, the kitchen instantly seemed homier. Happier. She hoped they lived.

  Behind her, Colin still didn't speak.

  The quiet grew until she couldn't stand it. "I'm sorry," she said finally.

  "She's going to get hurt. Dammit." Colin paced the length of the kitchen, eating up the wide open space with his long, restless legs.

  "Well, what did you think would happen?"

  When Colin whipped around to face her, his dismay and shock evident, she shook her head and laughed. "Come on, Colin. You must have thought about what would happen after your project was finished. About how we'd end this. How she'd feel when I go back to my life."

  Back to her life. Just the words brought a melancholy she didn't want to face.

  Colin looked stunned.

  "You didn't," she breathed. "You, Mr. Planner, Mr. Organization. You never thought about the end."

  "I only thought about getting left alone." He looked disgusted with himself. "And having the phone calls stop. Ending the parade of blind dates." He swore softly before looking at her miserably. "This can't go on. I can't do it. Not to her and not to you."

  "I'm okay, Colin."

  "It's not fair."

  He was going to call it all off. And she'd have to go back to being … without him. "You can't tell her now," she said much more casually than she felt. "It's too late. She'll get hurt either way, Colin. You might as well finish your project."

  "I'm so close," he said wistfully. "So close."

  Though she was beginning to understand that there would always be a project for Colin, each more important than the last, she accepted that. "The pretense is set," she said quietly. "You need time for yourself, and now you've got it I'll keep them busy while they're here over the next few weeks. You just work as hard as you can, and get your project done. We'll face what happens afterward later."

  His eyes were like the sea, black and fathomless. "Are you really up for this?"

  He was talking about them. About what they would have to do to pull it off. "I'm ready if you are."

  A rare laugh escaped him. "Oh, I'm ready," he assured her. "But not for my project."

  "No? What then?" Was that her voice, all breathless?

  "The supply of condoms I bought. They're waiting upstairs by my bed."

  "How many is a supply?"

  He laughed again, a wondrous sound. "I got the huge economy box, thinking even that couldn't possibly be enough for the two full weeks."

  Heat spiraled through her
. "Oh."

  "Are you sure, Lani?" His voice was low, thrilling. He came close, but didn't touch her. "Because if you're not, you'd better tell me now so I can come up with some reason why we'd be sleeping in two separate beds. I thought I could lie next to you and sleep, but I was fooling myself. We're like fire together, one touch from you and I'll go up in flames."

  His voice alone was turning her on, making her tremble. "Colin, you're making my head spin."

  "Well, you should see what you're doing to me."

  She looked, then blushed furiously. "Oh, my."

  "I've been like this since your nightmare."

  Oh, my. She lifted her hands in a helpless gesture. "I haven't a clue what to do with you."

  "Well that makes two of us."

  * * *

  Lani met Aunt Bessie and Aunt Lola and was immediately charmed by their nosy, meddling, sweet, imposing ways. They were funny, wild, brutally honest and impossibly curious about the woman who had agreed to marry the nephew they all thought of as their own.

  They ate together, and immediately afterward, Irene invited Colin to leave so he could go and work.

  He hesitated, clearly torn between his unwillingness to leave Lani alone in their clutches, and the wonderful draw of his work.

  But Lani knew he felt hopelessly behind on the project, so she took mercy on him and waved him off.

  Besides, how was she going to learn more about him from his family while he listened to every word?

  Irene, Bessie and Lola obliged her curiosity, regaling her with hysterical and interesting tales of Colin's youth.

  And yet she found her attention wandering.

  Would he really make love to her tonight? she wondered, glancing up the stairs in a state of high anticipation.

  Oh, she hoped so.

  They sat in the air-conditioned living room, a room that definitely needed a homey touch, Lani thought. There was elegant, expensive furniture, but just the bare minimum. A couch, a lamp, two chairs that looked sophisticated but uncomfortable. Not a comfy touch in sight.

  She could easily fix that, with just a few plants, a nice rug, a couple of pictures.

  "So you've snagged our Colin." Aunt Bessie—a four-foot-ten dynamo with the soft sweet voice of an angel and the ferocity of a protective momma bear—smiled, drawing Lani out of her reverie. "We're so thankful, darling, really we are." She leaned forward conspiratorially. "But do you think you could tell us why?"

  "Why?" Lani blinked. Had she missed something?

  "Why you want him."

  Eager, Lola and Irene leaned forward, too. "He's such a pain in the tushie," Lola commented, her voice full of exasperated love. "We just want to know how you bullied him into it again."

  It took her a moment to switch gears from putting warm, soft touches on the house to… "Again?" Lani straightened, her full attention focused now. "I'm sorry. Did you say, again?"

  "Why, yes." Lola didn't move. She was the tallest at five foot two, and skinny as a rail. Her voice was husky, deep and loud. "We're dying to know how you convinced him to try again, when for five years we've been so unsuccessful."

  "I see." Lani nodded calmly while her head spun. "He's been married before."

  "Uh-oh." Bessie sat back and bit her meddling lip. "Oh, dear. Dear, dear, dear. Irene…?"

  Irene glared at both her sisters. "Now you've done it." She turned to Lani with a worried smile.

  "Lani—"

  "He's been married before," she repeated like a parrot. All the signs had been there, of course. His reluctance to share himself. His fear of being hurt. Still, devastation rocked her.

  "Damn!" Lola cried. "We blew it!"

  "We?" Irene demanded, sitting upright with dignity. "I am not going down for this. No way. I should have left the two of you in New York!"

  "Well how was I supposed to know she didn't know?" Lola asked. "Somebody tell me that."

  "We should have known," Bessie decided. "Colin always has been so closed-mouthed. It's natural that he wouldn't tell her about his single-most devastating failure."

  "Wait a minute." Lani tried again to soak this all in. "Give me a minute here. Colin's been … married." She looked at them, feeling weak. "How could I not have figured that out by now?"

  But the argument between the sisters was in full swing.

  "I knew better than to bring the two of you with me," said Irene. She glared at her sisters. "I told you, let me handle it. Let me check out the fiancée for myself, but no, you both had to come. You had to interfere. Now look what you've done!"

  "No offense, Sissy," Bessie interrupted stiffly. "But I was more Colin's mother than you ever were, so I had the right to meet Lani first."

  Irene stood, then, quivering with indignation. "Now, just a minute—"

  Bessie stood, too, glaring. "Yes?"

  Good Lord, the three of them, these elegant socialites, were going to brawl. "Ladies…"

  "You might think Colin belongs to you, but he's mine. Mine," Irene emphasized. "That means Lani is mine, too!"

  "Okay, that's it. Stop." Lani stood up from the circular sofa, where they were perched in front of the lovely fireplace she'd had such high hopes for. "It's true then, he's really already been … married?"

  Silence fell while all three older women shifted uncomfortably.

  "It's really a very simple question," Lani said calmly as if her heart hadn't just cracked. She had a terrible feeling she now had the answer to the secret anguish swimming in Colin's eyes.

  Was he pining away for a woman who'd left him?

  Had the ex broken his heart, causing him never to trust another?

  And how in the world could Lani compete with such a memory? The answer was simple. She couldn't. "Please tell me."

  Irene sighed but looked right at Lani. "Yes, Colin was married before. I'm sorry you didn't know. Even sorrier that you had to find out like this, from us."

  It took Lani a minute to collect herself; she felt such sorrow, both for her and for Colin. But she wasn't a selfish person by nature, and after the first fling of self-pity had passed, she hurt only for Colin. To know how much he must have loved his ex-wife, so much that he couldn't allow himself to have a real home or family now, was unbearably sad.

  Somehow she managed to excuse herself.

  They let her go, their eyes sad and worried, but she couldn't reassure them. Not yet.

  She went straight to Colin's office upstairs, planning on opening her arms and her heart, wanting to tell him how sorry she was about his past. She wanted to share whatever comfort she could. Surely she could help, now that she understood.

  But he was gone.

  She assumed he had gone to his other office, the one in town. Disappointed, she climbed the stairs, walked into his bedroom and got ready for bed. She'd wait.

  Feeling a little bit like Goldilocks, she climbed into his huge, soft, welcoming bed.

  And waited.

  The sheets smelled like him. The room looked like him. She felt him all around her. She daydreamed about what would happen, how she'd help heal him and, in return, he'd take her to ecstasy.

  Sighing, imagining his body, his hands, his mouth, all on her, she sank down into the covers and waited some more.

  And waited. And waited.

  Only, Colin never came, and finally, exhausted, Lani fell asleep, his pillow hugged tight to herself.

  * * *

  Chapter 8

  « ^ »

  Getting lost in his work was the last thing Colin had expected to do, especially with thoughts of Lani dancing through his head, but by the time his thoughts switched from work to life, it was 2:00 a.m. How had that happened? Hours had passed.

  Lani would be waiting for him.

  She'd be warm and inviting, he imagined, smiling as she lifted her arms to welcome him.

  Wrong.

  It was the middle of the night. She'd be asleep, and if she wasn't, she'd be mad as hell. Rightly so.

  Racing home, he found her pretty much as his
wildest fantasies had dictated, sprawled on the bed. There was one difference however. She wasn't hot and bothered, instead she was fast asleep with her arms squeezing his pillow close to her heart.

  Damn, he'd really blown it. He had to have hurt her feelings again, and he hated that. Much as he loved his work, right then and there he experienced a first—a spurt of genuine anger at how it consumed him body and soul, to the point of such forgetfulness.

  He had to make it up to her, had to at least apologize. "Lani?"

  It didn't help that the sheets and blanket had become tangled in her legs, below her hips. She wore a tiny white camisole that looked soft and silky, and even tinier panties. Her skin was pale and creamy and glowed in the faint moonlight.

  She took his breath away.

  Helplessly drawn to where she lay, he kneeled on the mattress. "Lani?"

  In her sleep, she frowned, and from deep in her throat came a low sound of irritation.

  Still Colin leaned over her, hand outstretched, hoping to wake her, planning on starting with sweet, sexy promises.

  But then he was stopped cold, frozen by the tracks of dried tears on her cheeks.

  * * *

  The next morning Colin was back in his office downtown, unable to concentrate on a damn thing except Lani and how she'd looked in his bed.

  As if she belonged there.

  The long restless night on his floor, listening to Lani's soft, deep breathing, hadn't improved his disposition.

  "Line one's for you." From the door, Claudia thrust her chin at his phone. "The Institute."

  "Great," he said, meaning anything but. He had nothing new to report. He still wasn't finished and wasn't sure when he would be. "Claudia?"

  She'd turned away and was hallway out the door when he said her name. She stiffened, but didn't look at him. "Yeah?"

  "Next time you want to scare off a woman for me, can you check and make sure it's one I want scared off?"

  "God." She winced and turned back to face him, her expression full of guilt. "I'm so sorry! I'm so used to trying to chase off everyone your mother sets you up with, I didn't realize she was the real thing."

  The real thing. His stomach hurt. "Has word gotten around?"

  She smiled. "Oh, yeah. Women from all over the county are having a wake in honor of your lost single status. You're the talk of the town. So is Lani." A slight frown marred her face. "She's really wonderful, you know."