The Series that Just Plain Sucks: The Complete Trilogy

by Charissa Dufour

  After a few seconds of hesitation, the suit let me up. I shrugged him off and stomped a few steps away. A new, more intense silence settled over us. I slowly realized the other conversations had ceased as well. Only the music filled the uncomfortable stillness.

  “You aren't going to kill her, are you Mikhail?” Josh asked in a humble, yet plaintive voice.

  “Have you taken a liking to her?” scoffed Nikolai. I glared at him from a safe distance. Would it be so shocking if Josh did like me? I was likable!

  “It isn't fair. She shouldn't have to die for our safety. It is not her actions that threaten us. Besides, do we really want to do that without knowing what Isaac wanted with her?” Josh asked. That seemed to sink in. Mikhail eyed me, his wheels turning again.

  “We'll keep her for now,” announced Mikhail after a few seconds consideration. “And she'll be under your protection, Nik.”

  “What? Why me?”

  “This is more than Josh can handle. He's young and inexperienced. What would happen if he went up against Isaac?”

  “No, no, no,” I interrupted. “He'll just leave me on Isaac's doorstep, or worse, kill me himself!” I added, waving toward Nikolai.

  Mikhail smiled. “Nikolai will do no such thing.”

  I glared at Nikolai, but he was already eying me like a bug to be squashed.

  “What about my work?” I heard myself pleading. “I have rent to pay and I'm already behind. I have to work the day after tomorrow.” I was grasping at straws; anything to get away from this handsome man who wanted to kill me.

  “Kinda missing the point Ashley,” murmured Josh through his closed teeth. Clearly he didn’t like me arguing with his master.

  “I don’t care about his point,” I snapped back, equally irritated. “My point is not becoming homeless.” My annoyance was increasing tenfold. When I went out for a date last night, I hadn't planned on getting involved in a mystical war. Or was it more of a police action, like Vietnam?

  Hell if I knew. I didn't understand anything about anything!

  “What about staying alive? You seemed pretty interested in that,” said the tall man in an annoyingly smug voice. I shot him a dirty look, which he ignored by taking a sip of his drink.

  “Enough,” commanded Mikhail, his voice displaying his own Russian heritage. “Ashley, we will make sure that you do not lose your apartment. Nik, take her to your place. Let her get acclimated to our lifestyle while I figure out what's going on.”

  Nikolai nodded and took me by the arm. He dragged me out the way Josh and I had entered through the nondescript side door. We crossed the street, my arm still in his hand, and stopped at an expensive looking car. He released me, flinging me at the passenger side door.

  “Get in,” Nikolai growled. I hesitated a moment. I didn’t want to exchange Josh’s company for that of a man who hated me.

  But a gust of wet wind had me scrambling for the door handle. I climbed in and admired the interior. It was better than thinking about the man sitting in the next seat. I didn't have a clue what kind of car it was, but I knew I was supposed to be impressed. The dashboard was coated in a fine, black leather, rather than made of plastic like most American cars. I settled into my bucket seat, feeling like my ass would scrape the pavement if we tried to go over a speed bump. Nikolai started the engine by pushing a button. It purred to life and the interior lights bathed us in a muted, blue glow.

  We drove through the dark for what seemed like an eternity. Evidently being a vampire didn't make me any more patient.

  Ugh… vampire.

  My mind revolted against the whole idea. It was just too insane! Never mind that I made my meager living providing this fantasy for others. There just weren’t people who never aged and were killed by the sun. And yet I had seen a man turn to dust.

  But vampires?

  Finally, when my mind couldn’t take any more thinking, we pulled into a long driveway lined with trees that were well on their way to being leafless. The driveway itself was at least a mile long. What sort of place was this?

  It turned out to be a mansion. Of course. He had the expensive suit and the nice car, so why not a mansion to top it off? Granted, he might have had centuries to acquire wealth. The building was white with many more windows than I would have expected in a vampire's home. As we got closer, I realized heavy drapery obscured my view of the inside.

  He led me up to the massive double doors, opened them, and ushered me in.

  “I thought vamps have to be invited in,” I said, unable to censure myself.

  “Yet more proof you know nothing about vampires, Miss Hawn,” he said, with forced politeness. It came out condescending and jerky. “Only to the houses of the living. You and I are technically dead.”

  That took me a moment to digest. Technically dead? What did that mean? I tried to wrap my brain around it, but realized it would take more than just a few seconds to adjust to. Nikolai didn't give me time to finish my musings. He pushed me through the door.

  To my complete astonishment, an unnatural blond bounced forward. I suspected she was human. I didn't know why I thought that, but I did. My astonishment increased when she reached up and hugged Nikolai, pecking lightly him on the cheek.

  She was the type of middle-aged dish that probably had been Miss Wisconsin and still bragged about it. Her blonde hair framed her face in feathery disarray. She smiled at me, her eyes wrinkling with laugh lines emphasized by a layer or two of foundation. Miss Wisconsin was dressed in those fuzzy workout pants that clearly were not designed for working out and a matching zip up sweatshirt.

  “Ashley Hawn, this is Shirley O'Brian.”

  I nodded toward her, not sure what else to do.

  “Are you thirsty, sweetheart?” she asked me.

  I glanced at Nikolai. Did she know what he was…? I mean what we were?

  “Yes, she knows. And yes, Miss Hawn is thirsty. Please bring her something to drink. We'll be in my study.”

  Had Nikolai read my mind? Or was the confusion that obvious on my face?

  The woman sauntered off, her still-shapely butt swaying with each step. Once she was gone, I was able to admire, or rather gawk at, his house. We stood in a wide entryway with enormous arched windows that reached from floor to ceiling. A winding staircase headed up to the second story and down to a basement, connecting with the foyer to my left. To my right was a swinging door, through which I had spotted signs of an enormous kitchen when Miss Wisconsin went to get my drink. Straight ahead lay a massive arch leading to what appeared to be a living room large enough to hold a royal ball.

  Nikolai took me by the arm and led me up the winding staircase, his grip rather tight. From the top, I looked down to see an intricate design in the marble flooring that I had not noticed before. If it had been an “X,” I would have made an Indiana Jones crack—something I doubted Nikolai would have understood. I would have killed for a staircase like this while growing up: to slide down the banister as a child, and to glide down in a prom dress as a teenager. The stairs stopped at a landing that extended into a long hallway before heading up to a third level. Nikolai took me to the first door on the second level.

  His study was the sort that one only sees in movies. The tall walls were completely lined with bookshelves. I even suspected there might be a doorway hidden behind one of the many shelves. Most of the racks held books that looked old, even ancient. One shelf held newer books—murder mysteries by the looks of them. The center of the room was dominated by an elegantly carved desk sitting on a rug, the design that could keep me entertained for hours. I wanted to laugh and say “Colonel Mustard, in the library, with the lead pipe!” But I kept the thought to myself. Nikolai sat at his desk and motioned me over to one of the leather couches.

  I hesitated a moment before plopping down on the one nearest his desk. It made an embarrassing farting noise as my jeans rubbed against the leather—which caused me to blush slightly. I held in my childish giggle. Before the silence could get too uncomfortable,
or before I could finish tracing the patterns on his rug, a young man pushed the door open and bounced into the room, carrying a book, a binder, and a number two pencil. He went straight past the two couches, completely oblivious to my presence.

  “Nikolai, Shirley said you were back. I need help with my calc homework.”

  The vampire sighed and pointedly directed his eyes toward where I sat. “Dan, I am with someone.”

  The young student turned and eyed me for a second.

  “Hi,” he said, in a way that suggested he wanted to continue with “how you do'n.”

  I smiled back before glancing at Nikolai. Nikolai cleared his throat and looked pointedly at Dan.

  “Oh right. Sorry.” Dan scurried out.

  “So… what's with the humans?” I asked, the phrase coming out stilted since I wasn't used to the idea of not being human myself.

  “I don't want to talk about them.”

  I blinked. He was a grumpy one. I wanted to push, but Miss Wisconsin entered with my drink. She held out a tall glass with what appeared to be thick, red Kool-Aid or fruit punch. Neither of those sounded very good, but I was willing to drink it to be polite. The surprise came when I noticed the smell of the drink; it was much better than fruit punch. The smell made my breath come faster and my stomach dance a quick jig of excitement. Before I could take the glass from her hand, a couple different things happened. I'm not sure which came first, but I started to scream as my gums burned and pressure invaded my mouth. At about the same time, Nikolai bolted from his seat behind the desk and placed himself between me and the drink. In retrospect I'm not sure if I was thinking of the glass or the human.

  I rolled off the couch, my hands pressed against my mouth, and landed near Nikolai's feet. Why did it hurt so badly? It felt like my wisdom teeth were coming in again, except this time it was in the front of my mouth and it was happening all at once, rather than over the course of years. I shrieked again as a new pain emerged. I felt as though I was swallowing the coarsest sandpaper ever invented. Fire erupted in my throat, searing what was left after the sandpaper had finished its work. I'm pretty sure I could have breathed flames at that point. My hands shifted to my throat as I continued to scream.

  Beyond my own noise making, I heard the door open and worried voices asking what was wrong. Suddenly the pain in my throat got worse. My unfamiliar, feverish desire heightened tenfold. Nikolai sent the visitors away immediately. No! my crazed mind screamed. Don't take it away!

  I jumped to my feet and lunged at the nearest human. Strong arms caught me around my waist and held me back. I jerked from side to side, trying vainly to break free of Nikolai’s grasp. He was strong, very strong, but I felt my own, newfound strength rising up in protest. Without thinking through my options, I jerked my head back and slammed it against his face.

  The shock of the move loosened his grip. I lunged forward as the remaining humans dashed out of the room, slamming the door in my face. I barreled straight into the solid, wooden fixture and fell in a heap on the floor. By this time, Nikolai had regained his composure, though his nose was broken and blood was pouring down his face. I grabbed the door handle and began hauling myself up when his arm slipped around my neck in a ferocious choke hold. He dragged my across the room, my cries of defiance silenced by the strong arm constricting my airway. The edge of my vision began to go black.

  “Stop it!” he sputtered as I continued to struggle. I felt Nikolai's flowing blood warm the back of my head. Gross!

  I attempted one last bid for freedom before darkness took me. I failed.

  Chapter Seven

  When I woke up, I was lying on the floor. Nikolai was squatting on his haunches near my head. The only sign of him having had his nose broken was the small change in the shape and the few streaks of blood he’d missed when cleaning.

  “Here, drink this,” Nikolai said. He reached for the glass Miss Wisconsin had brought.

  I sat up. Without thinking, I grabbed it and chugged the whole thing. It was downright divine. I had never tasted anything like it. I couldn't imagine any manmade beverage being this amazing. It calmed the burning in my throat and the hyperactive circus still parading through my stomach. When the liquid was gone, I panted for a few minutes trying to catch my breath. Nikolai watched me closely, his hands relaxed, though the look on his face suggested he was ready for me to make another dash for the door. Finally, when my head was a little clearer, I wiped the back of my hand across my mouth. It came back dark red.

  “What is this?” My even voice seemed to calm him. Nikolai stood up. I followed his example.

  “Blood. What did you think it was?”

  “Blood?” I asked stupidly. “I drank blood?”

  “Even your horrible books have vampires drinking blood,” he neared.

  I was myself enough to glare at him. Though I realized my books were a far cry from true literature, he didn't have to rub my face in it.

  “We're vampires, Ashley. We drink blood. It is what keeps us alive, or whatever we are.”

  “Human blood?”

  “What do you think?” he scoffed. “Yes, human blood.”

  I dropped back onto the leather couch, my hands going to my head. “What just happened to me?”

  “You smelled human blood for the first time and it triggered your desire. Josh should have fed you already.”

  “I—I tried to kill that woman. Shirley?”

  Nikolai just nodded.

  “Will it always be like this?”

  “That depends entirely on you,” he said in that annoyingly matter-of-fact voice. He didn't even sound ruffled. “You will have to work to gain control. All vampires do.”

  “I don't want to be a vampire!” I screamed and flung the empty glass at the door, a few stray drops of blood splattering against the wood while the glass shards clinked noisily onto the polished hard wood floors. Why couldn’t they understand this? Why did he have to be so calm about what was obviously the end of my life?

  “You are a vampire.” Nikolai was suddenly right in front of me and hauling me off the couch. His two hands dug painfully into my shoulders. “You are a monster! That desire for blood will never leave you!”

  “Do you feed off those people?” I asked, the look of terror in their eyes still fresh in my memory.

  “Yes.”

  “You bastard!” I shrieked back, pushing him away. He released me and moved with my push, but I had a feeling it was more due to his nature than my strength.

  “Listen to me, Ashley…”

  “No! I can’t be like you… a villain. I can't… ”

  Nikolai then did the last thing I expected—he slapped me across the face. I somersaulted over the armrest of the couch and landed a few feet away. I looked up, shock and astonishment no doubt playing on my features. My cheek blazed as though his hand was still slapping me. Nikolai glared at me, his stance indicating he was ready for me to retaliate. When I continued to stare at him, he prowled to my side and knelt in front of me.

  “Are you ready to listen to me without the hysterics?” he growled, his voice sounding almost visceral. I gulped. “You have four choices. One, you can ask me to stake you right now and end what you have left of life. And trust me, it's exactly what I want to do right now. Two, you can steal from blood banks, blood that is for the sick and dying. Three, you can kill people every time you need to drink. Four, you can keep a willing food source at your disposal.”

  “Willing?” I asked dubiously.

  Nikolai nodded and stood up. Evidently he didn't think I was going to have another tantrum. I, personally, wasn't so sure. “There are ten humans who live in this house with me. They willingly allow me to feed on them when I need to. In exchange, they live here rent-free.”

  “So for rent they give you their blood?” It didn't seem quite worth the trade, even in this posh house.

  “They get a lot more than just rent. I generally pay for everything they need—cars, food, medical bills. I'm putting Dan through college.�
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  “Bet you get a lot of action from the ladies,” I grumbled, angrier at the thought of him taking advantage of the women than drinking their blood.

  Nikolai smiled, showing me I wasn’t too far from the truth. “Unlike what a second-rate novelist might say, it is not all about sex with us vampires.”

  “Sure it ain't.”

  His smile darkened into a glare. Boy he was good at glaring, but I could match him on my worst day, which might have been today.

  “What about animal blood?”

  Nikolai laughed, though I wasn’t sure why. “Animal blood is one of the worst things you could drink.”

  “Why?”

  He sighed. “It takes away your desire for blood, fills you up. But it doesn’t feed you.”

  “I don’t get it.”

  “Why am I not surprised?” He paused, his eyes roving over the office, now splattered with blood, as though looking for a way to explain it. “A vampire who drinks nothing but animal blood will starve to death without even realizing it. Animal blood can’t nourish us, or make us strong. All it does is lure us into a false sense of—of fullness.”

  I stared at the intricate rug, disheartened by his answer. If it was only a matter of not keeping us super-human strong, I wouldn’t have minded. I didn’t need super-human strength to be a writer, but starving to death would certainly put a kink in my plans. “And that’s why you keep these people?”

  “I don’t want to kill people,” he said as though it ought to be obvious.

  “You're still a bastard,” I told the rug.

  Nikolai chuckled. “Of course I am. I never said it was a good alternative, but would you rather kill people? Or take from blood banks? What is it you think we ought to do?”

  Instead of answering his question, which I think was rhetorical anyway, I said, “And they don't tell anyone?”

  “Of course not. When a vampire drinks from a human, that human becomes drawn to them. Loyal. Some of these people I've been feeding on for years. They would never do anything to harm me.”

  “Convenient,” I intoned, heavy with the sarcasm.