The Series that Just Plain Sucks: The Complete Trilogy

by Charissa Dufour

  But now I found myself to be an actual vampire and I wasn't any more beautiful, and though fast, my reflexes were just what they had been before. I just tripped more quickly. It was a huge disappointment to realize I was just the same old me, except now I craved the death of my best friends and would eventually see them grow old and die, while I never aged.

  “So… what's on the agenda for today? Kill a few more werewolves or play some Monopoly?” I asked as I ran my fingers through my rumpled, red hair. I wanted to take my mind off the more depressing topics. “So?” I urged when he didn’t look up from his book.

  “Huh?”

  “Werewolves or Monopoly?”

  He chuckled, finally setting his book down. Nik turned around, dangling one arm over the back of the couch so he could look at me seated at the other end of the couch. “As much fun as Monopoly sounds, we need to do a little research on you.”

  “Fine,” I pouted as I got up from the couch, leaving my empty blood bag on the table. I pulled out a fresh pair of jeans and a T-shirt that read “I'm not short, I'm fun size.” When I came back from the bathroom fully dressed and my hair in a braid, Nik took a second to read the shirt. He didn't laugh out right, but I thought I saw a glimmer of amusement.

  “So,” I began. “How do we 'research' me, and what are you looking for?”

  “I figure whatever the reason is that everyone wants you has to do with your ancestry, as Helen pointed out. If the spell needs you or your blood specifically, than it means you are the descendent of someone, someone important. Therefore, tell me about your family history.”

  I moved to the couch and sat down on the far end, leaning my back against the arm rest so I could look at him. “I don't know. My grandparents moved to Olympia shortly after World War I. Their parents were dairy farmers in Wisconsin.” I shrugged.

  “Further back than that.”

  “Um… we're not really the family history type of people.”

  “Well, can we ask your folks or your grandparents? Maybe they know.”

  I shook my head, trying to ignore the sudden tightness in my chest and the pressure in my eyes. “All dead.”

  Nik hesitated. “Your parents are dead?”

  I nodded. “Car accident. My grandparents died when I was pretty young. I don't really remember them,” I added, trying to keep him from asking more questions. I wasn’t ready to share, especially with him.

  “Okay… so no help there. What about aunts and uncles?”

  I shook my head again. “Both my parents were only children, just like me. I know; we must be a bunch of spoiled brats.”

  “Eh, I already knew that about you,” he said as he pinched my toe. He was teasing me, but I didn't really feel like laughing.

  “What about family legends.”

  I shrugged again, trying to pull my thoughts away from my dead family.

  “Funny stories always told at Christmas or whatever?”

  I frowned. “There's an old story about one of my ancestors being a magician… or wizard or whatever. Like the real kind.” I paused, thinking of the last time I'd shared this story. “I told Isaac about it… he was very interested. Asked a lot of questions, but I couldn't answer any of them.”

  “What else do you know about this story?”

  “Nothing. What I've shared is what I know.” My dad used to tell the story to my friends to embarrass me. I'd done my best to block the memory.

  Nik sighed and leaned back into the couch. As I shared this revelation, he'd been leaning forward, growing more interested with each word.

  After a few silent minutes, he spoke: “I have an idea. Let's go check on your cat.”

  The two statements didn't seem to relate, but I chose not to ask. I was starting to figure Nik out—he shared what he wanted, when he felt like it, and not before. I could be patient, I told myself, not really believing the voice in my head. Before leaving, Nik poked his head into the common room. Josh was there, playing pool with the man who had brought my laundry.

  Josh left his game to join us. “Where're we going?” he asked before noticing my shirt and laughing aloud. I looked at his shirt which said almost the same thing, though the lettering wasn't hot pink like mine. I'd never expected to see “Travel Size” on a guy’s shirt. Still, it worked for him. Josh was barely taller than me, and at 5'4'' I was hardly a pro-basketball player. He wore the T-shirt well, in his own silly sort of way.

  “We're going to Ash's place,” Nik responded once we were finished with our mutual mirth. We followed Nik up to the restaurant. It was already full. From the darkness outside, I realized Nik had allowed me to sleep in. I held my breath as we weaved our way around the viewers. Was there ever a slow night? I figured Sunday night would be at least a little dull. At present, the main portion of the screen displayed an address from the president on the latest crisis. I guess that would draw a crowd. Every speaker I heard was tuned into that channel. I wondered why they even had the other ones on.

  At the door, Nik spoke to one of the bouncers who nodded and disappeared. We moved to the curb and waited, rainwater pouring off the roof. I was glad of the wide eaves since I forgot to bring a coat. To my annoyance, Nik noticed and pulled his own leather jacket off. Damn gentleman. Of course, if Jordan had done the same thing I would have been proud of him. Even Isaac would have done so in a less condescending way; at least he would have before the whole bitey-turny episode.

  “No thanks,” I said, trying to keep my teeth from chattering. He didn't buy it. Instead, Nik draped the jacket over my shoulders. After a moment of nearly silent protest—not entirely silent, since I couldn't keep my teeth still—I slipped my arms into his long sleeves. I was tired of him taking care of me. I'd been taking care of myself for so long now. Maybe that's why Jordan's warnings against Isaac had bugged me so much.

  After a short, cold wait, the bouncer returned with a sedate-looking, black sedan. We piled in, me in the passenger seat, Nik driving, and Josh resigned to the back. I thought about offering the front to Josh, but I imagined this car might be fancy enough to have heated front seats—hell if I'm gonna give up heated seats.

  It didn't.

  Chapter Thirty-Five

  Nik drove us to my apartment building and managed to get a parking spot on Capitol Way, in front of the neighboring inn. We jogged from the car to the door of my apartment, making sure to keep our speed within human ability. I passed them into my tiny apartment and began looking for Muffler. There weren't many places for him to hide and I quickly found him sleeping on my bed, tucked between two pillows. He stretched at his leisure, which meant it took a few minutes before he was willing to talk.

  “So now you decide to grace me with your presence,” he said in between yawns.

  Josh stopped in the doorway, his eyes the size of grapefruits. He took two steps back onto the landing before realizing what he was doing. He froze and tried to put on a brave face—or at least a less shocked face. Nik smiled at him as he crossed to the bed, sat down, and began petting the talking cat.

  “Uh… yeah, so… my cat talks… ” I stuttered awkwardly.

  Josh glanced at Nik, still not willing to reenter my apartment. I couldn't really blame him. Nik ignored him, continuing to scratch Muffler behind the ears, who purred violently.

  “Sorry. I didn't realize you'd brought a new friend. It happens so rarely,” he added as he shifted position to get Nik to scratch a better spot.

  I rolled my eyes and checked on his food and water. “We're researching Ashley's past,” Nik said to the cat as he dug into Muffler's thick, gray fur.

  “To figure out why they're trying to sacrifice her?” he asked. All three of us turned our gaze on the animal. “What? I get around.” His feline eyes flickered to the window I typically kept cracked open. I never realized he could get down to the ground from it, or back up for that matter. It was a wonder he hadn't been hit by a car yet.

  “Yes,” said Nik, recovering his senses first. “Do you have any ideas? Have you heard anyth
ing?”

  Muffler looked up at him before ramming his head into Nik's motionless fingers. Nik returned to scratching the cat's head.

  “Well, I've heard the Internet is mighty handy. But if you want something a little more old school,” Muffler purred, trying to sound like a modern youth, and failing, “you could go see Faunus.”

  “The fae? We're trying to avoid the fae. Both summer and winter are trying to capture her,” said Nik.

  “Well, I'm sure you've heard the old adage that with great risk come great rewards… or some such nonsense. Faunus can look into anyone's past, seeing things long forgotten. Besides, Faunus has been known to deal with her enemies if the price is right. She loves favors.”

  “I'm not stupid enough to give a favor to a fae,” Nik stated, unceremoniously dumping Muffler on the floor.

  “How much do you want this information?” the cat asked as he jumped back on the bed, pointedly skirting around Nik to resettle near my pillows. It was funny to watch an ancient fae try to give offense in response to being kicked off a lap—very cat-like. I wondered how much he retained of his original identity and how much the years had transformed into the personality of a cat.

  Nik let out a deep breath and looked at Josh then me. “What say you?”

  “What sorta favor would she ask for?” I asked.

  Nik shrugged. “Could be anything from an ice-cream cone to killing her fairy queen.”

  “I hate to be the Negative Nancy,” Josh began. “But this won't exactly be safe for Ashley.”

  “Faunus has to be able to touch her for her magic to work,” Nik said. Josh shrugged, glancing back at the door with the broken lock. My apartment wasn't exactly safe either. “We'll take her along, but keep her identity to ourselves. I doubt they've passed around her mug shot. Let's go. We'll offer Faunus one favor, but under a few caveats.”

  I patted Muffler once and headed for the door. For a moment, I considered checking my phone messages, but I had a feeling I didn't want to hear what Jordan and Chloe had to say. I knew Jordan wouldn't have mentioned his encounter with us to Chloe, so she likely was worried about me. Oh well, whatever I did about them would have to wait until I dealt with the whole human sacrifice thing; I mean vampire sacrifice. Either way, it ended up with me dead. I shuddered and ran down the steps.

  Nik drove us to the other side of I-5 and parked at the entrance to the watershed off of 22nd Ave. We tromped down the steep hill into the small valley where the city had kept some of Washington's natural forest, in that totally unnatural way humans do. Originally, it had been part of the city’s waterworks, but in the 1950s they'd turned it into a park.

  In the daylight, and without a drenching downpour, it was one of the most beautiful places I had ever seen; it surrounded you with enormous trees that grew at the very edge of the designated path where moss hung from the branches. The surroundings were eerie and mystical even before I knew mystical creatures existed.

  I wasn't surprised that a fae would take up residence in the small forest, even if all of the fae I'd met had yet to live up to my expectations. I imagined fae to look like Tinkerbell. That tree thing I fought had not resembled any fairy my imagination could drum up.

  My feet squished into the mud and the water soaked through my tennis shoes. We trekked through the forest for about ten minutes before Nik called us to a halt. By this time, I was soaked to the bone in any place his leather jacket didn't protect, though water was beginning to drip past the jacket's collar and down my back. I had a feeling even the leather was not going to be enough if we stayed out much longer.

  Just when I was about to make some sort of snarky comment—one which I had yet to think up—he took us off the path and into the brush. Normally in Olympia, these patches of forest are covered in a bed of blackberry bushes, but there were a few places in Watershed Park where hard work had kept them at bay, allowing for the more natural underbrush to thrive.

  Nik brought us to a stop near an old shack that had probably once been a part of the waterworks. I thought about pointing out that there were many signs declaring this location to be off limits to pedestrians, but for once my better judgment set in; I kept my mouth shut. Nik didn't get too close to it. Instead, he stopped by a fallen tree that was well blanketed in moss before he called for the fae.

  “Faunus?”

  Chapter Thirty-Six

  A silence descended as we waited for the fae; even the dripping water seemed to be hushed in anticipation. I was ready to burst when a woman dressed in rags opened the creaking door. Inside the shack I spotted bits of old piping, but I also noticed clay jars, a braided rug, and other homey objects. The woman's face was lined with deep wrinkles and bore the sign of exposure to the elements, though her eyes and mouth appeared too long and shapely for her round features.

  She wore a pair of cotton knit pants over a pair of jeans, visible through worn holes on the knees. Though I couldn't see all the layers she wore, the bulk suggested they were many. Her hair was hidden by a filthy rag wrapped around her head and knotted at the base of her neck. I immediately recognized her as a fae. Like the others, something about her appearance looked off, unnatural. She glanced at Josh and me before her long mouth turned up into a smile.

  “Nikolai,” the woman said in a Celtic accent. A Russian name in a Celtic accent is rather funny sounding. Again, I was surprised. Nik had not mentioned knowing the fae when Muffler suggested us coming to her, though he had seemed rather knowledgeable about her abilities. “It's been a long time.”

  “Faunus,” Nik repeated in way of a greeting. “May I introduce Josh and Ash?”

  The old woman waved her hand as if to dismiss us. “What are you here for?”

  “I was hoping to strike a bargain with you.”

  She hesitated a moment, her eyes narrowing, as if she were calculating the risks while staring at Nikolai. Finally, she nodded slowly and turned to her shack. She opened the door and waved us in. I followed the others into the shack, expecting to be stuck in the doorway. There was no way all four of us could fit inside that building. To my astonishment, there was room to spare. I wanted to go back outside and walk around the perimeter of her home. Had I been mistaken about the size?

  Josh and I stayed near the door while Nik strolled further in, standing near a small fire pit made out of stone that had not been original to the building. I looked up but couldn't see any hole in the roof to let the smoke out; nevertheless, the room did not fill with the toxic fumes. The woman stopped on the other side of the fire and turned to stare at Nik.

  “Now, what is it you want from me?” she asked.

  “I need you to look into this girl’s past. People are hunting her,” he said, leaving out the fact that some of those people were her superiors. “And I need to know why.”

  “I see,” murmured the old woman. Something about her appearance changed: her skin suddenly seemed to melt from her body, the ragged clothing dripping from her to transform her shape from large and bulky to tiny and half covered in fur. I blinked a couple of times, but before I could figure out what was happening, a totally different person stood before us. My eyes went wide as I stared at what once had been an ugly, slightly weird looking homeless woman. Now stood a short half human, half deer-like creature. I wracked my brain for the right word. I think she was a faun.

  Faun. Faunus. Duh, Ashley.

  She stood about four feet tall, with legs that bent in the wrong direction; they were covered in dark brown fur. The hair on her head draped down her back in waves that were a shade more red than the fur on her legs. Two brown horns wrapped delicately around her head creating a kind of natural crown. She wore a small doeskin vest and a few silver rings; from her hair hung copper and silver baubles. The room filled with a subtle, gamey scent. It reminded me vaguely of the bleeding werewolves.

  She stepped up to Nik, her tiny hooves clattering against the concrete floor.

  “Now, Nikolai, what would you trade me in exchange for providing you information about t
his girl?” she asked, waving a tiny hand in my direction. Her green eyes flashed toward me, mischief pulsing out of every fleck of color. I smiled at her; I couldn't help it.

  “I will offer you a favor, to be completed once she is safe.” Nik paused. “And to include no killing of innocents.”

  The fae considered his offer for a moment before nodding. “Agreed. Come here, child,” she said, addressing me.

  I glanced at Nik, who nodded, and I stepped to the faun's side. She held out her hand, waiting for me to place my fingers in hers. I'm the monster now, I told myself as I relinquished my hand to her. Faunus hissed and jerked her fingers away from mine as though I had burned her. She clenched them to her chest and glared up at me. Nik was across the small fire and at my side in a moment, his hands resting on my shoulders, ready to pull me to safety should it be required.

  “What's wrong?”

  “I cannot look into her past,” Faunus announced, still rubbing her fingers. “She is of my blood.”

  “Wait… what?” I asked, totally confused. I sure didn't look like I was a descendent of hers. Though I occasionally went without shaving my legs—due to epic laziness and a lack of a love life—they still never grew fur!

  “That can't be,” argued Nik at the same moment. “She's a vampire. Fae can't be turned.”

  “She is not fae, or at least, not fae enough to keep from turning. But one of her distant ancestors was fae and part of my lineage.”

  “You can breed with a fae?” I asked, barely letting her finish.

  “Humans can. So you can't tell me about her past?” Nik asked, turning his attention back to Faunus. I could see the frustration and anger building, as yet another plan failed before it even began.

  She shook her head, the baubles clicking musically in her hair. “No. My family is my weakness. I am blind to them.”

  Nik let out a long, frustrated sigh. I knew this meant we were pretty much back to square one.

  “I should take her myself,” the fae suddenly said in a low voice; the walls vibrated with a surge of angry power while her vibrant eyes shown with the mischief I had previously glimpsed. “You dare bring such a temptation into my home, Nikolai?” she asked, her Celtic accent thickening with each word.