Fight for You

by Magan Vernon

  I nodded, even though I knew he couldn’t see me, wanting him to just cut to the chase. “Yeah. I’m fine. Just a few cuts from the glass. My car didn’t do so well. I’ll see what the dealership has to say.”

  “Bruises heal and scars remind us of the battles we’ve fought. That’s what your nanu always used to say.” Says the guy who gave me most of my scars.

  “It’s true.” I stood up, pushing the covers off of me and adjusting my boxers.

  His voice went from casual to all business in a matter of seconds. “I know Dominic brought you and Jackie back to your place last night, so I figure things are getting pretty serious between you two.”

  I knew Dominic couldn’t keep his mouth shut. “Yeah. They are. You know I care about her.”

  “Good. I’m glad to see that you’re settling down and if she is going to be around awhile, your mother also wants to meet her. We would like you to bring her over for dinner tonight. Angeline, Brian, and Gabby are coming as well. It will give you time to apprise me of the situation of your attackers.”

  “Okay, sounds good.” I forced the words out, trying to smile.

  “Goodbye, Nick.”

  “Bye, Dad.”

  I set the phone down on my nightstand and let out a deep breath. I would have rather thrown the phone across the fucking room. I needed to update my dad, that was for damn sure, but I didn’t need to pull Jackie into the center of it. I wanted to protect her, not drag her in the middle of the war with me.

  ***

  Since my Bentley was in the shop the dealership gave me a loaner. A Jaguar. At least it was in the same class of vehicles.

  “You know, when my grams totaled her car they gave her some little clown car, not anything like this,” Jackie said, sliding into the leather seat.

  “Then she was working the wrong dealership.” I put on my seatbelt and started the car, which purred to life. Maybe I’d have to think about a Jaguar if the Bentley couldn’t be fixed. Then again, I wasn’t sure how big the trunk was on the Jaguar and that was important to me.

  “Yeah, her old Buick definitely wasn’t a luxury car.” Jackie fiddled with the hem on her skirt. “Are you sure I look okay?”

  I glanced at her before turning out of the parking lot of the dealership. “I’ve told you for the millionth time you look fine. This isn’t a fashion show and you’ve already met my dad.”

  “Yeah, but I was blindsided and had just left my ex-boyfriend’s funeral. I’d actually like to make an impression if I’m meeting your whole family.”

  I shook my head. “I can’t believe you left work and went shopping on your lunch hour for that.”

  “I didn’t pack anything that was appropriate for dinner at your parents’ house and it’s not like I own anything that they wouldn’t turn their noses up at anyway.”

  I grabbed her hand, squeezing it. “Jackie, my family isn’t going to turn their noses up at you. You need to stop thinking that you’re not worthy of me, because I’m the one who doesn’t deserve someone like you. You’re amazing in every way. If I haven’t told you that enough yet then I’ll tell you every moment of every single day.”

  She let out a deep puff of air through her nose. “Sorry, I’m just really nervous and I’m not used to wearing a dress with leggings. Or pink. Or a cardigan. I feel like a Stepford wife or some shit.”

  I shook my head, smiling. I wasn’t going to say it out loud but the strapless pink dress, white cardigan and leggings were definitely not her style. She looked more like a little girl playing dress-up than the sexy, dark maven that I was used to. “It’s okay, we can role play with it later and I’ll put on my golf clothes.”

  “You golf?” Her voice rose in shock and she laughed.

  I shrugged. “I’ve done it a few times. Guys in business get hard for making deals on the golf course so I took lessons at the local country club when I was a kid.” I glanced at her before taking the exit toward the northern suburbs. “Personally, though, I can’t fucking stand the sport and I’d rather just sit back on the golf cart and drink.”

  “You’re ruining the whole image I had of the badass mafia prince with the nice car now that I know you’re also a golfer and you can cook one hell of a lasagna.” She squeezed my hand.

  “Yeah? I hope you’re not too disappointed when I sit down and play the piano with my niece as well. I mean, she doesn’t really play cuz she’s not even three yet, but she likes to bang on the keys while I do.”

  “I feel like I learn something new about you every hour, Nicky.”

  “Is that a bad thing?” I raised my eyebrows.

  She leaned over and I got a hint of her perfume. The smell of it alone made me want to forget dinner, pull over and see how quickly I could get her into the back of the Jaguar and rip that cardigan off.

  “I love learning more about you and I hope I never stop,” she whispered and kissed my cheek.

  ***

  My parents lived in the same neighborhood as Uncle Guido but farther down the lane. The path to their house was shrouded by a line of pine trees, keeping it hidden from anyone that would want to enter from the main road. Once the house came into view Jackie gasped and I stopped the car, wondering if one of the dogs got out or something. I looked out in front of the car but didn’t see anything.

  “What? Everything okay?” I turned and saw her staring up at the house, her eyes roaming over the three-story brick structure with the white columns and fountain that was modeled to look like a mini Fontana Pretoria.

  “Your parents’ house. It’s. Amazing.” She slowly looked over her clothes. “And I thought this forty dollar outfit from Forever 21 was going to cut it.”

  I shifted in my seat so I faced her. “Hey, baby, look at me. You’re fine. Don’t worry about what you have on or about impressing anyone. You’ve already won my heart and that’s what matters. I don’t give a shit about what you’re wearing or not wearing.” I put my hand on her heart. “This is what matters to me. That thing that’s beating inside of you. You have so much heart, so much life. Everything about you makes me want to be a better person. And to think anything less of yourself is bullshit.”

  She let out a deep breath. “If you say so, Nicky.”

  I brought her hand to my lips, kissing her knuckles. “Trust me on this. Okay? I know what I’m talking about.”

  “Okay, Nicky.”

  “Good.” I put her hand down and put the car back into Drive, circling the fountain and parking by the front doors.

  She stared out the window, not saying a single word.

  “Are you ready for this?” I asked.

  “Ready as I’ll ever be.”

  I opened my door and went around to the other side, opening her door and giving her my hand, helping her out. “What do you think of this car? Think I should get a Jaguar instead of fixing up the Bentley?”

  She shrugged. “I don’t know. It really doesn’t matter to me what you drive.”

  I put my hand on her back, guiding her up the stairs to the front door. “Hey, I’m just trying to make some small talk and take your mind off things.”

  She sighed. “I know and you kind of suck at it.”

  I laughed, shaking my head. “Yeah. Distraction isn’t one of my strong suits. Coach says it’s something I need to work on in the cage as well.”

  I rang the doorbell; the theme from The Godfather playing instead of the traditional ring.

  Jackie shook her head, smiling. “Very fitting.”

  I shrugged. “It was one of the choices they had for custom doorbells. People must like it or else they wouldn’t make it.”

  The door opened and my sister Angeline was standing there holding Gabby’s hand. Ang was dressed in her normal North Shore-princess-turned-mom-wear of high-priced jeans and a t-shirt that was supposed to look casual but I knew cost more than Jackie’s rent, while Gabby was completely decked out in a princess dress, crown, and carrying a wand. The toddler basically got to wear whatever she wanted at Nonna and Nanu’s ho
use.

  “Hey, Nicky,” Ang said.

  Gabby just stood there, twirling her wand with her free hand.

  “Hey Ang, this is my girlfriend, Jackie. Jackie, this is my sister, Angeline, and my niece Gabby,” I said as we stepped inside the grand foyer of my parents’ house and Ang shut the door behind us.

  “It’s nice to meet you Angeline,” Jackie said and then knelt down in front of Gabby. “And I love your hair, Gabby. Do you think maybe I can play with it later? Maybe we can do French braids?”

  Gabby looked up at Ang wide-eyed, and Ang nodded at her. “Do you want a pretty braid in your hair, Gabriella?”

  “Yes I would,” Gabby whispered. She then looked back at Jackie. “Can I do your hair too?”

  Jackie smiled. “Of course you can.”

  Gabby smiled brightly and let go of Ang’s hand and ran her fingers through Jackie’s hair. “Nonna has a lot of hair toys in her room. We’ll play with them.”

  Ang put her hands on Gabby’s shoulders. “I don’t know if Nonna wants us in her room, but maybe after dinner we can get some of her stuff and play with it.”

  “Ohhhh.” Gabby pouted out her bottom lip.

  “It’s okay. Why don’t you go introduce me to your Nonna? I haven’t met her yet,” Jackie asked Gabby.

  I looked at Ang, raising an eyebrow and Ang nodded, which hopefully meant that Mom wasn’t upstairs in her room sleeping off whatever prescription drug she was under.

  “Yeah, she’s in the living room with Nanu,” Gabby said and took Jackie’s hand, pulling her forcefully. Ang and I followed close behind.

  “Looks like the new girlfriend is making an impression on Gabby,” Ang whispered. “What does Dad think of her?”

  “The same thing he thinks of all women; that they’re disposable,” I replied, keeping my voice low.

  “Hopefully he and Mom stay on their best behavior tonight. Brian had a late meeting in the city and couldn’t make it so it’s just us.”

  “Great. I hope you got my back.”

  “We’ll see how much shit hits the fan and if any of us can survive,” she muttered.

  The living room was just how my dad liked everything: dark and full of expensive things that he didn’t actually need. Even though there were floor to ceiling windows and a set of French doors that led out to the back deck and surrounding woods, they were covered by large curtains that blocked out any sort of light. Dark wooden floors covered the room and the walls were painted burgundy to add to the sullen mood. All the furniture was brown Italian leather and the TV was even larger than mine, which currently had on the nightly news so my dad could yell about the local media with a rocks glass in his hand from the wet bar in the living room. Mine was never used, but his granite bar was refilled regularly.

  “Nanu! Nana! Uncle Nicky and Jackie are here!” Gabby yelled, announcing our presence as we walked into the living room.

  Dad stood up from his recliner with an uncharacteristic smile on his face, but then he did tend to smile more when Gabby was around. Something about being a nanu made him happier. “They are! That’s great news, mi bella!” Dad threw out his hands making a big show of his excitement for her.

  “And Jackie’s gonna put my hair in princess braids after dinner!” Gabby jumped.

  “She is?” Dad put his hands on his knees crouching down in front of Gabby.

  “Uh huh.” She nodded. “Want her to do your hair too?”

  Dad laughed. “I’m not sure she can do that.”

  Gabby put her hands through Dad’s hair, or what little he had. There wasn’t much left with his receding hairline and the gray flakes that peppered his short brown hair. “Mhmm. You’re probably right, Nanu. Maybe you should grow it out for a bit.”

  “I’ll do that and then next time Jackie can braid my hair with you, how’s that sound?” He smiled.

  “Sounds great, Nanu.”

  “What’s all this hair talk?” A small voice came from the kitchen. I looked over and out walked my mom. I almost gasped at her appearance. The woman standing in front of me was a ghost of what she once was. She used to walk around like she was the queen of everything with her long brown hair, makeup always done, and dressed in designer suits that filled out her curvy Italian body. Now her hair was almost completely gray and thinning, swept up into a bun on her head and pulled so tight I could see every wrinkle. She was barely wearing any make up and she was so thin that the red shift dress she wore hung off her like a sack. I didn’t think it had been that long since I’d seen her, but she really had gone downhill.

  “Nonna! Jackie’s here to do my hair!” Gabby jumped up and down, her tennis shoes lighting up with each jump.

  Mom smiled, and it looked like even that slight movement took a ton of effort.

  I took Jackie’s hand and guided her toward the doorway where Mom stood. “Ma, this is my girlfriend, Jackie. Jackie, this is my mother, Sophia.”

  “It’s nice to meet you, Mrs. Ragusa.” Jackie put her hand out and shook my mom’s frail one. Every blue vein stuck out in my mother’s hand. Her once olive complexion now was so pale she didn’t look like someone that emigrated from Sicily when she was only five.

  “Nice to meet you too, Jackie. I’m glad that Nicky’s finally able to bring a girl home. He must think a lot about you if you’re joining us for dinner.” She patted Jackie’s hand.

  “I’d like to hope so,” Jackie said, letting out a nervous laugh.

  I put my arm around Jackie’s waist as she let go of my mom’s hand. “Don’t let her intimidate you, Jax. She’s harmless. Gabby’s the one you gotta look out for.”

  Gabby ran in between Jackie and me. “I heard my name!” she cried.

  Mom laughed. “You did! Good job! High five!” She bent down and put her hand out.

  Gabby slapped it and giggled.

  “Anything I can help with, Ma?” I asked.

  She shook her head. “No, dinner’s about ready. I was just finishing setting the table.”

  “I can do that, it’s no problem,” I pushed.

  “Mi bello you don’t need to do that, you’re girlfriend is here. Don’t make her feel unwelcomed.”

  “It’s fine, he can set the table and I’ll braid Gabby’s hair like I promised her,” Jackie offered.

  Mom sighed. “Okay. Fine.”

  She turned toward the kitchen and I followed.

  “How is everything going with the business, Nicky? Keeping everything in line?” she asked

  I stopped once she stood at the counter and I saw the take out bags from the restaurant. She hadn’t cooked anything. That’s why she didn’t want any help.

  “Ma, what the hell’s going on?”

  She pointed a crooked finger at me. “Don’t use that kind of language with me.”

  “Ma ...” I stepped around the island until I was in front of her. She was barely 5’2” but she used to scare the shit out of me when I was a kid. The woman had a backbone and a temper that could bring any man to his knees. But now I saw the shadow of the woman who raised me and that scared me even more. “What the hell happened to you? This isn’t like you at all.”

  She shook her head, looking down at the floor. “This was just short notice. I... I... I ... didn’t have time to cook so I called your Aunt Jo and she brought this over for me.”

  I stepped closer so our toes were touching. “That’s bullshit and you know it.”

  “Nicky ...” she whispered.

  “Ma, tell me what’s going on.”

  She looked up, her eyes filled with tears. “I can’t handle it, Nicky. Okay? Is that what you want to hear? I can’t fucking handle it!”

  “Handle what? What are you talking about?”

  “Life! Everything! Your father, the family, getting out of bed in the morning. It’s a constant struggle just to keep up anymore and I’m tired of it.” The tears fell in huge blobs, streaking her face. “I’m fucking tired of trying to keep up the facade and I just can’t handle it.”

  I pu
lled her to my chest, wrapping my arms around her as she sobbed into my shirt.

  “You have your own life to live. You shouldn’t have to worry about your botso mother,” she cried.

  “You’re not crazy, Ma.” I rubbed her back.

  “Yes I am. The doc has me on so many damn pills I’m like my own pharmacy.” She sniffled. “Soon enough your dad’s going to send me to one of those institutions in New York like your uncle Frank. I know he wants to. The only thing that’s stopping him is my inheritance.” She scoffed. “Like he doesn’t already have enough of his own fucking money.”

  I held her close. “It’s going to be fine, Ma. I promise that I’m going to do everything I can to be around more and be here for you. For this family. Jackie and I can come by for more dinners and you can come see the condo and whatever else we can think of to do together, okay?”

  “Do you really mean it, Nick?” She pulled back, looking up at me and wiping a few tears from her cheeks.

  “Yeah, Ma. This famiglia means the world to me and I’ve been neglecting it for too long.” I put my hands on her shoulders. “Now come on, let’s serve up some of Guido’s food before they think we’re out here planning to starve them.”

  ***

  Dad and Ang could tell that the pasta wasn’t cooked by my mother but they didn’t say anything. They just looked at each other when Jackie complemented Ma on the food. I was okay with that. As long as my family was getting along, no fighting, it was better than any other family meal we’d had for a long time. And no one was saying anything to offend Jackie.

  As soon as dinner ended Dad turned to me, raised an eyebrow and said, “Nick, would you mind having a cup of coffee with me on the back deck? I just want to talk business with you for a few minutes.”

  It was time that I avenged my cousin. “Okay, let me pour a cup and I’ll meet you out there.”

  He nodded, standing up with his mug and walking out of the dining room.

  “I won’t be gone long,” I leaned over and whispered to Jackie. “Just some business we have to take care of. I hope you don’t mind.”

  She took my hand, squeezing it gently. “Just don’t be too long or I’m not sure what Gabby’s going to do to my hair.”