Next Time

by Alexander, Robin

  “The last part of your statement was the scariest. Speaking of bleeding money, have you ever done anything with your profile, other than pay the monthly fee?”

  “You know…I logged in a while back and contemplated uploading my photo. I found one, and just as I was about to push the upload button, my finger froze. I think that means something. Susan says ‘listen to your body’ all the time when I’m working out. My finger told me not to press that button. Instead, it wanted to delete the whole thing, so I did.”

  Jana blew out a sigh. “You shouldn’t have done that. What you should be doing is dating someone who isn’t Ryann. She’s a heartache waiting to happen.”

  “We’re not dating.”

  “Yeah, you say that. I’m going to make you a pie chart right now. It’ll be colorful and easy to follow. Red will designate the appropriate recovery time for Ryann. Yellow is—”

  “Shut up. Yellow is a big fat shut up.”

  “You are such an ass,” Jana said with a laugh.

  *******

  “I think that was kind of romantic.”

  “What?” Ryann fished a glass out of the cabinet and filled it with water.

  “She had Melanie ask you to be her wingwoman, so the two of you could meet like you did the first time.”

  “Payton went through something similar with an ex, she knows how it feels to be betrayed. She said she knew what I was going through and offered her friendship. I’m taking her up on that because I’m not in any mental or emotional shape to be dating right now, which is what I know you’re going to say next.”

  Shelly turned away from her new stove where she was cooking dinner. “She’s a smart one. She’s pre-dating you. Y’all will do things together, get to know each other, then you’ll fall right into her bed. You already admitted that you found her attractive, and you like to talk to her.”

  Ryann was about to take a drink of water when out of the corner of her eye she saw something move across the floor. “Shelly! I think you have a rat.”

  “Did you see it? I thought I saw something scurrying earlier, too.”

  Ryann set her glass on the counter and peeked around the doorjamb into the living room. “If the droppings on your floor are any indication, it’s huge.”

  Shelley approached the doorway from the opposite side of the kitchen and peeked in, as well. “We have never had a rat or mouse problem,” she said with disgust. “My baby plays on those floors! Do you have any idea how many times I’ve mopped today?”

  “Maybe it was my eyesight. I only caught a glimpse, but the tail looked fluffy. Maybe a squirrel got in.”

  Shelly looked around the jamb again as though whatever animal that had been terrorizing her had a weapon. “That doesn’t look like typical rat shit. You may be right. This needs to be handled right now. You’re a lesbian, get in there and do battle.”

  “What does being gay have to do with trapping a squirrel?”

  “Two women live together, who kills the vermin?” Shelly asked with a hand on her hip.

  “The pest control people, that’s who.”

  “Butch up and get your ass in there. I won’t tell anyone if you scream like a five-year-old girl.”

  “I’m a femme lesbian, which puts me in the same class as you.” Ryann pointed to her face. “Note the makeup. Besides, you were the one who always played in the dirt and rode horses.”

  “There weren’t any squirrels in that dirt with me! I’ll pick up a bug or a frog, I even handled a grass snake once, but I do not deal with rodents.”

  Ryann leaned against the doorjamb and stared into the room. “It’s most likely under the couch. Where’s Grant?”

  “After-school detention for piercing his and the noses of his friends with pushpins.”

  Ryann stared at her in horror. “What is wrong with your kids?”

  “Focus.” Shelly held up both hands, then clasped them together. “Anya could be attacked by that thing.”

  “She’s in the playpen right behind you. The squirrel’s under the couch.”

  “I told you to focus!”

  “I am. I know where everything is.”

  “The broom’s in the pantry behind you, get it. I’m gonna flip the couch over and you play hockey. Slap it through the door.”

  Ryann glanced at Anya and inhaled deeply. “All right, for the baby.”

  She took the broom and crept through the living room, then opened the back door. When she turned around, Shelly was nowhere in sight. “Where are you?”

  “Just a minute,” Shelly whispered as though the squirrel was listening to their plans.

  Ryann was practicing her swing while Shelly rummaged around in the kitchen and finally appeared with aluminum foil wrapped around her legs. “Really?” Ryann asked. “What’s that supposed to do?”

  “I remember seeing it wrapped around pecan trees when I was a kid. I think it keeps the squirrels from climbing them.”

  “I thought that was to keep the caterpillars out, and why didn’t you bring me any?”

  “I used the last of it,” Shelly said with no shame. “Are you ready?”

  Ryann adjusted her grip on the broom and nodded. Shelly ran over to the couch, grabbed the back of it, and turned it over. There was nothing beneath it but Lego bricks, plastic army men, and a remote.

  “Those are choking hazards, you should clean under that thing sometime.” Ryann took a step closer and noticed a tear in the fabric on the bottom of the sofa. “We may not be out of the woods yet. It could be in the couch.”

  “What?” Shelly clenched her fists. “Help me push the damn thing onto the patio. Evan can go hunting when he gets home.”

  “Good idea.”

  Together, they righted the couch and were about to start shoving when the invader dared to come out. Its back was arched like an inchworm, and it walked sideways. It stared back at the two women who had frozen with their mouths hanging open. Shelly’s scream pierced the silence, and the frightened creature scuttled under the recliner.

  Anya was screaming and crying when Brody came tearing across the upstairs landing looking horrified. “What is it, Momma? What’s wrong?”

  Ryann, who was still clutching the sofa, said, “I think that was a ferret.”

  “You found Slinky!” Brody came down the stairs taking them two at a time. “Where’d he go?”

  Ryann pointed at the recliner, while Shelly stood stock-still, her eyes wide. “A…who?” she said with a trembling voice.

  “I’ll just go get the baby,” Ryann said and rushed into the kitchen. She comforted Anya as she listened to the conversation in the living room, and it wasn’t pretty.

  “Where did you get a ferret?”

  “Jessie Davis. I traded him my bike for it.”

  Silence.

  “The bike you got for Christmas?” Shelly asked with a voice like steel.

  “Uh-huh, it was a fair trade because he gave me all the food and the litter box with the stuff that goes inside of it. Oh, and the water bottle. I’m gonna need some more litter stuff.”

  “Where have you been keeping…Slinky?”

  “Under my bed, he likes it there.”

  “Did your daddy tell you that you could have a rat?”

  “He’s not a rat, Momma, he’s kind of a weasel thing. Oh, and his stinkers have been taken out.”

  “Did your daddy tell you that you could have it?”

  Silence.

  “No, ma’am.”

  “So you…snuck a weasel in the house.”

  “Kinda.”

  “This is what you are going to do. Find it. Then go into the garage and find a box. Put the weasel in it. Stay there with it until your dad gets home. While you’re out there, think about all the things you like to do and the friends you like to play with because you’re not going to see them or do anything for a long, long…long time. Go before I jerk a knot in your skull.”

  “I still don’t understand how—”

  “Go!”

  “Why
do you have foil—”

  “Go!”

  “Don’t make any sudden moves or noises when she comes back in here,” Ryann whispered against Anya’s cheek. “For the sake of my life, don’t laugh.”

  Shelly walked slowly into the kitchen pinching the skin of her forehead. “I noticed that his room smelled more foul than usual, but boys stink. Even though he’s only eight, I bought him deodorant. All that time, that thing was under the bed inches from me.” Her arms dropped to her sides as she stared at Ryann. “Why couldn’t I have been a lesbian? Couldn’t you have shared that gene or whatever it is?”

  “You can take the foil off now,” Ryann said gently.

  “No, I can’t. Not until I know that thing is back with Jessie.” Shelly’s face twisted into a snarl. “His mother had to know about this trade. I’m gonna go Silence of the Lambs all over her ass.” Numbly, she walked over to the stove, checked on dinner, and spoke with an eerie calm. “Payton doesn’t seem like the type to handle a squirrel, either.”

  “I think she could if she had to. Leigh is really butch, but I can tell you she would not go after a rodent. And hey, I don’t agree with the pre-date theory. I don’t think Payton would date me right now if I asked her to. She said she knew where I was emotionally, and she offered her friendship.”

  Ryann wasn’t about to divulge the other things Payton had said. She felt a twinge in the pit of her stomach when she recalled the way Payton looked when she said, “I think you’re beautiful.”

  “I don’t have to say this, but I’m going to anyway. Even though you’d kind of lost it for Leigh, you’re still reeling from the shock of the betrayal. You need time to cope with the loss of a relationship even if it was bad. You need to get your feelings and emotions in order before you get involved with someone else.” Shelly met Ryann’s gaze when she said, “If you care about Payton, you need to protect her feelings, too.”

  Ryann nodded and looked away. “I know.”

  Chapter 12

  “Oh, God,” Payton breathed out as she pressed her forehead against the bathroom mirror and shuddered. She’d taken pain relievers, soaked in the bathtub, showered, and still, it brought her nearly to tears to put her jeans on. The muscles in her thighs felt like they had been ripped apart and set on fire.

  The smart thing would’ve been to call Ryann and tell her what she’d done to herself and postpone their outing. She reasoned, though, that as long as she stayed on her feet and didn’t try to bend her legs, she’d survive the night. She didn’t have to sit to play the slots, and she could at least walk. Payton hoped a few drinks would help numb the pain.

  She dried her hair, slipped into her shirt, and pulled on a sweater over it, thankful that she had not gone to the gym that morning so sadistic Susan could cheer her through doing the same thing to her upper body. When she did have full use of her legs and felt good enough to go back to the gym, she planned to use her new muscles to kick Susan in the ass.

  Payton swallowed down two ibuprofen tablets as she kept an eye out for the cab, wondering how she was going to climb out of it once they arrived at the casino. She hoped Ryann wouldn’t notice how stiff she was. Her ego wouldn’t allow her to admit to Ryann that she was truly a wimp, especially since Leigh had been in such great shape.

  “Here we go,” she said when the cab pulled in front of her house. She practiced her walk on the way to the car and breathed a sigh of relief when the cabbie climbed out. “Drago, I’m so happy it’s you.”

  “Why’re you walking like you got a stick up your ass?” he asked as he opened her door.

  “Am I?” Payton asked with dread.

  “Yeah, you hurt?”

  “Big-time.” Payton tried to bend her legs and ended up falling into the backseat.

  “We going to the hospital?”

  “No.” Payton whimpered and gave him Ryann’s address. “Look, I need a favor tonight. The woman we’re picking up doesn’t need to know I overdid it at the gym. So when we get to the casino, I need you to create a diversion while I get myself out of this car.”

  “Sure, but you gotta pull your feet inside. I can’t close the door.”

  “They’re not in?” Payton asked with a grimace.

  “Why did you do this to yourself?”

  “It was the trainer’s idea…and when she mentioned muscle stripping, I thought it was kinda like a Swedish massage.”

  “She hot?”

  “Yeah…kinda.”

  “That’s why,” Drago said as he waited for Payton to slowly pull her feet in, then closed the door. Once he was inside the car, he looked over the seat. “This address is like eight miles away. Depending on traffic and the lights, you may have ten minutes to sit up.”

  “Thanks, man.”

  “This a date?”

  “It’s complicated,” Payton said with a groan. “I’d like to date her, but she just got out of a bad relationship, so we’re just friends.”

  “Then why can’t you be honest with her?”

  “Because her ex was like Adonis in female form.”

  “You gonna get your ass whipped.”

  “Thanks for the vote of confidence, dude.”

  “Skip the gym and get some fight training just in case you run into this woman. You’ll get skills and a workout at the same time. I got a cousin who teaches Krav Maga, that’s some kick-ass shit. If you need to defend yourself, that’s the way to go.”

  “Drago, right now, a gnat could kick my ass. I spent the day on the sofa swapping a heating pad from thigh to thigh. I’m gonna have to recover for a while before I can even consider doing anything else.”

  Drago laughed. “Come on, woman, sit up.”

  Payton grabbed the back of the seat and pulled herself up. “Will you pick us up tonight?”

  “Yeah, take my number. Give me like a thirty-minute heads-up, and I’ll be there. Look, you gotta work on your swagger. Don’t hold your ass and walk like you did a few minutes ago. Let your arms hang down, fingers loose.”

  “Loose, got it.”

  “Don’t make that prune face, either.”

  “Anything else?” Payton asked with a sigh.

  Drago’s gaze met hers in the rearview mirror. “Yeah, have a good time,” he said with a laugh.

  “Thanks.”

  Payton smiled and looked out the window as Drago turned onto a street comprised of modest-looking duplexes. It was a nice-looking community with landscaped lawns and small ornamental trees planted along the road. She pulled out her phone and sent Ryann a text letting her know they were about to arrive. After Drago pulled into one of the driveways, he got out and opened the door. When Ryann stepped out of her front door, he bowed low.

  “Nice touch,” Payton said with a laugh. She grinned when Ryann climbed into the cab. “Welcome to my limo.”

  “Is there something wrong with your car? I could’ve picked you up,” Ryann said as her gaze swept over Payton.

  “Parking is a pain, and I’d like to have a couple of drinks tonight. This is Drago, our driver for the evening,” Payton said when he climbed into the driver’s seat. “Drago, this is Ryann.”

  “A pleasure to meet you, Ryann,” he said in a more genteel tone than he used with Payton.

  “Likewise,” Ryann said with a smile. “I’m spoiled already.”

  “Is Harrah’s Casino where you’d like to go, or do you have somewhere else in mind?” Payton asked.

  “No, that’s perfect. We could walk down to the Quarter later if we were so inclined,” Ryann answered with a smile.

  Drago grinned at Payton in the rearview mirror. “It’s a cold night. Y’all can always call me, and I’ll give you a ride. It’s no charge since it’s only a few blocks, and I like you because you’re a big tipper.”

  Payton waved a hand at him. “See how he spoils me? How was your day?”

  “I went to the mall with my sister and her three kids. I think the begging started when we passed the place where they make those really big cookies. It started out
as a low hum that grew louder when we got near the pretzel stand, then it became a cacophony of grating wails. Shelly lost her mind and started making outrageous threats—which is the problem. Not that I think she should sell her children to gypsies or tie them to the hood of the car, but her threats should be promises that she will keep. I suggested this to her, and she responded by threatening to pull my uterus out of my nose.”

  “So she talks a lot of smack,” Payton said with a nod.

  “I think she was serious about my uterus.” Ryann shrugged. “Despite the fact that I have a classroom of children to deal with, she still thinks I’m clueless about them since I haven’t given birth. Apparently, you’re granted some sort or superpower or knowledge then.”

  Payton laughed. “I just thought it was stretch marks and a baby.”

  Ryann shifted a little so she could face Payton. “Tell me what you did today.”

  “I bummed it on the couch and channel surfed.” Payton glanced at Drago when he started coughing. “You all right there, bud?”

  “Yeah, dry spot in my throat.”

  “I try to treat weekends like everyone else.” Payton continued. “I do chores and relax unless I have something really pressing that I have to finish. A year or two ago, my brain totally locked up, and I couldn’t write anything, but then I was working every day of the week.”

  “I remember you saying that you can’t force creativity to abide by a schedule.” Ryann reached over and picked a piece of lint from Payton’s shoulder. “Do ideas hit you in the middle of the night and force you to get out of bed?”

  “Sometimes. If it’s a line, I’ll just write it on the pad I keep on my nightstand. Tunes are the ones that get me out of bed. I hear it in my mind, and I have to play it before it’ll leave me alone.”

  When Drago pulled in front of the casino, Payton slipped the fare and a healthy tip into his hand. “Ryann, let me get your door, please, that handle has been giving me some trouble,” he said before he climbed out. With great fanfare, he opened her door and offered his hand.

  Payton pushed her own door open and clenched her teeth as she stepped out. The movements made her feel like the muscles in her thighs and hips had exploded. While Drago was claiming he saw Brad Pitt, Payton stepped onto the curb like a ninety-year-old woman and came face to face with one. For a split second, she debated asking if she could borrow her walker.