Next Time

by Alexander, Robin

  “Are you getting tired?”

  “No, I just need that caffeine push.” Ryann laid a hand on Payton’s shoulder. “You let me know if you get tired. You spent your day moving furniture while I laid around.”

  “I know you said you grew up in the country, but exactly what part?”

  “Covington—well, just outside of it. We had over twenty acres of land. Sometimes it was a wonderland, and others, the loneliest place on earth. I know that sounds crazy since I have six siblings, but when I got into my teen years and discovered that I was different, I just wanted someone I could relate to. Then I got my driver’s license, and life changed,” Ryann said with a laugh. “Shelly’s already given you a good idea of what I was like then. How about you?”

  “New Orleans mostly, although for a year we lived in Baton Rouge when my Uncle Trent took a job there. That sucked because I was in junior high school at that awkward age. Just as I had made some friends and started to get comfortable, we moved back to New Orleans. I went to college at UNO, and that’s where I met Jana. After graduation, I left for California, but we stayed in touch and were actually roommates for a little while when I moved back. She’s the closest thing to a sister I ever had.”

  “Does it bother you to talk about your parents?”

  “You want to know if I remember them.”

  Ryann nodded. “Yes.”

  “Not much. If I don’t look at pictures occasionally, the image of them in my mind fades. I always thought, even when I was little, that it was wrong to call my uncle Dad and his wife Mom. It seemed like I was erasing my own parents. I call them Trent and Gwen, they’ve always been fine with that. Scott calls them Mom and Dad because they’re the only parents he ever knew.” Payton pursed her lips. “I wish I had been his age when it happened. Being oblivious is sometimes a blessing. I don’t remember it, but Trent said I went through a phase where I didn’t want to be held and shunned their affection. That changed, but I never felt as comfortable as Scotty when it came to expressing my feelings for them.”

  “Where were the grandparents during all of this?”

  “Both pairs were very supportive. Trent said they only marginally liked each other, but after the loss, they sort of bonded. We all stayed pretty close, and unfortunately, all of them are gone except for my mother’s father, who we call Pappy. He’s in a nursing home, and Alzheimer’s has really taken its toll.”

  “I was curious. You seem very centered.”

  “Scott and I were very fortunate. We were surrounded by people committed to making normalcy out of chaos. Trent and Gwen were firm believers in talking about everything. They were the ones who taught me to examine whatever was going on inside of me. As a teenager, that was highly annoying.” Payton cleared her throat and lowered her voice in imitation of her uncle. ‘Darling, tell us why it was so important for you to toilet paper Principal Arceneaux’s house.’ I wanted the rapid fire rhetorical questions my friends got. What’s wrong with you? Have you lost your mind? Are you trying to give me a heart attack? Are you trying to drive me insane?”

  “My mother’s favorite was ‘Do you have brain damage?’” Ryann said with a laugh. “She found Shelly hogtied and gagged in the laundry room a lot. I may or may not have been lookout when that occurred.”

  Payton pulled into the parking lot of a truck stop. “How about this place? They usually have good coffee and snacks.”

  Ryann’s reply was a rapid exit from the car. Payton had to run to catch up with her, but once they were inside the store, they shot off in different directions. “Diet be damned,” Payton whispered, eyes wide as she picked up a bag of cherry sours. She grabbed a bag of chips to chase the sugar.

  Ryann appeared with a travel pillow around her neck. “I need this.”

  “Do you travel a lot?”

  “No, but I still feel that I need it.” Ryann held up two rubber bracelets with tire tracks on them. “We need these.”

  “Definitely.” Payton grabbed a bag of Smarties. “I think I’m gonna get an energy drink. Coffee kinda makes me queasy when I drink it late at night.” Ryann’s brow shot up, then she took off toward the cold drinks. “Could you be any more perfect?” Payton said softly with a smile as she followed.

  Ryann pulled a brightly colored can from the cooler and read the label. “This one says it’ll get you where you’re going.”

  Payton grabbed a can and held it up. “Mine says it’ll make your hair grow six inches.”

  “Does that include legs and…other parts of the body?”

  “Oh, I’m gonna find out.”

  Ryann selected another can. “I’m going to ‘soar through time and space.’ Do you drink these often?”

  “Rarely, way too much sugar. Tonight, however, I’m making a dietary exception. Okay, what else do we need?”

  “This.” Ryann grabbed a dream catcher air freshener and headed to the register.

  With her winnings, Ryann insisted on paying for everything. Once they were back in the car, she hung the dream catcher around the rearview mirror. They tore into the candy and drinks like they were starving.

  “Are you trying to tell me that my car stinks, or are you prone to impulse purchases?” Payton asked.

  “I’m a teacher. I’d be over my head in debt if I was impulsive. A slot machine just paid me a hundred and eighty dollars on a twenty-dollar investment, so like you, I’m making exceptions tonight. Besides, you needed some color in here.” Ryann took Payton’s hand and slipped one of the bracelets on her wrist. “This is to commemorate that we’re leaving tire tracks everywhere.”

  “Thanks,” Payton said with a smile and backed out of her parking spot. “Let’s make some more.”

  “You like the water, don’t you?”

  “I love it,” Payton answered with a smile. “My other crazy fantasy is to sell everything I own, go down to the Keys, and find a shack to live in. I’d support myself by singing on the street corner.”

  “What keeps you from doing that?”

  Payton thought for a moment. “Fear.”

  “Both of your fantasies involve running away. What are you trying to escape from?”

  Payton glanced at Ryann. “You answer that question first. You’re the one that wanted to stow away on a train.”

  “Convention, I suppose. When I was a kid, I couldn’t wait to get out into the world and explore it. My dad sold the property he owned in Covington the year Shelly graduated college. Developers paid him a fortune for it. He gathered us all together one day, put checks in our hands, and said, ‘This is your inheritance, spend it wisely.’ That was a defining moment for me. Our parents paid for half of our education, and I still had my part to pay in student loans. I felt like that money burned a hole in my soul because I wanted to take it and run.”

  “But you paid off the loans.”

  Ryann nodded. “And put the rest in savings. It was the responsible thing to do,” she said with a sigh. “Had I gone to see the world, all I’d have now is a pocketful of memories. I’m still not sure if I did the right thing.”

  “Where did you want to go?”

  Ryann laughed. “Everywhere. I wanted to see the countries most people don’t even know exist, but I would’ve also liked to have stayed at a villa in Greece, watched the sun rise on the Alps, and thawed out in the tropics. I could see myself sipping tea in—my scalp is tingling, and I’m sweating.”

  “You’ve been chugging that drink since we left the store, maybe you should switch to water for a while. I keep a bottle in the drink holder in the back…” Payton watched with a smile as Ryann rolled down her window and stuck her head out of it.

  “It’s no wonder dogs love doing this, I smell pine,” Ryann yelled over the wind noise. “We used to have a dog that would sit at the end of the driveway and bark, and our neighbor’s dog would do the same. They’d just sit there for the longest time casually barking.” She pulled her head back into the car with a maniacal grin. “Wanna know what they were saying?”

  �
��What?”

  “Right. What. I figured it out. Chester would say, ‘What?’ The other dog would respond the same way. And Chester would say, ‘You say what to me? No, I say what to you. What?’”

  Payton pursed her lips as she took Ryann’s drink from the holder and slipped it into the one behind the front seat. Then she pulled out the bottle of water and handed it to her. “Drink this, please.”

  “The tunnel! We’re coming up on the Mobile tunnel! I’m hungry, we should eat again. Real food.”

  Payton totally agreed because the sugar and caffeine in the energy drink was sending Ryann into overdrive. She stuck her head back out the window and howled as they drove through the tunnel. “You are so going to crash when that wears off,” Payton said with a laugh.

  Ryann didn’t hear her, she was too busy yelling “What?” at a dog in another car as they passed it.

  *******

  “It’s just roast beef and barbecue sauce, but it’s so good.” Ryann took a bite of her sandwich and stared out the window as Payton drove south on the highway that would take them to Gulf Shores. “That’s a big outlet mall, do you like to shop?”

  “I do. If it was open, I’d be very tempted to check it out. Maybe tomorrow.”

  Ryann finished off the last of her sandwich and wiped her hands. “What’re we going to do now?”

  Payton looked around. “Well, since it’s almost three in the morning, there’s not a lot we can do. I figure we should probably find a hotel and sleep for a few hours, unless you want to nap in the car.”

  “Yes! Let’s do that. We have a blanket.”

  Payton’s brow furrowed. “If you’re afraid that I’m gonna try—”

  “I’m not afraid, that’s the problem. Everyone thinks I should be.” Ryann threw up her hands. “I feel happy, free. I’m not afraid of you, even though you could very well hurt me. I’m over being scared of things. You know what, though, I sense a lot of fear in you. Joke all you want, but I see it in your eyes.”

  “I know,” Payton said with frustration. “It’s all so convenient. I met you, I wanted you, but you were in a relationship. Lucky for me, it was with a woman that couldn’t keep her pants up. Now you’re available. You know what? I don’t usually get what I want. My whole life has been settling for second best. I wanted to be a singer-songwriter. Instead of composing songs you hear on the radio, I write children’s educational music. I want my soul mate, but I end up dating women who think they’re squirrels. Damn right I’m scared. Here you are, so perfect, so amazing. I felt an electrical connection with you when we first met. I couldn’t shake it off.” Payton squeezed the steering wheel. “You’re like a dream, and I feel like the second I reach out to touch you, I’m gonna wake up.”

  “Do I make sparks fly out of your vagina? Red light!”

  Payton slammed on the brakes and came to a stop almost in the middle of an intersection. “I’m not making jokes now,” she said as she stared at Ryann.

  “Sorry, I get stressed when someone yells.”

  “I wasn’t yelling.”

  “You were talking fast, and your voice was louder than usual. I interpreted that as yelling.”

  Payton shook her head. “What am I going to do with you?”

  “I’m not a dream. I’m a real human being that was affected, as well, when we met. I felt terribly guilty that night because I wanted to stay there with you and listen to you talk. You didn’t hit on me, but I knew I had your attention, and you wanted to know what I had to say. When I saw you again at Jana’s…it was like coming home. So kiss me right now. Don’t analyze it, just—”

  Payton didn’t hesitate. She grabbed the collar of Ryann’s jacket and devoured Ryann’s mouth. The kiss felt like an explosion. When they pulled apart, Payton thought the flashing lights were the remnants of the fireworks she felt.

  “I just got you in trouble. I’m sorry.”

  Ryann’s words didn’t register until an air horn shattered the silence, and a voice sounded over a speaker. “Driver, pull into the parking lot on your right.”

  *******

  “Our first kiss was filled with lights and sirens,” Ryann said as they walked along the beach wrapped in the blanket together like a two-headed monster.

  Payton laughed. “And a sobriety test. Even though I haven’t consumed any alcohol, I felt a little drunk.”

  “That’s a good sign. I’m still buzzing a little bit, too.”

  “That’s probably the energy drink.”

  “No, that’s all gone because my legs are feeling a little rubbery,” Ryann said with a chuckle.

  Payton turned them around and headed back toward the car. So many things raced through her sleepy brain. She tried to remember the conversation before the kiss word for word, but it was a jumble. All she could really hold on to was that Ryann had admitted that she’d felt the same connection when they met, and her heart soared.

  The car was parked in an empty public lot designated for beachgoers. It was just a small strip of pavement off the highway, but Payton felt they’d be safe there for a few hours. She opened Ryann’s door and helped her inside.

  “Will you sleep?” Ryann asked as Payton climbed into the driver’s seat and tilted the steering wheel up.

  “Most definitely.” Payton pushed her seat back as far as it would go and reclined it. She rolled onto her side and faced Ryann. She smiled when Ryann spread the blanket over them both. “You said I felt like coming home.”

  Ryann nodded and tucked her side of the blanket beneath her chin. “I felt…it was such a relief to see you again. I had a lot of conflicting emotions that day because I was there with Leigh. At first, I decided to keep my distance from you, but I couldn’t. I just had to learn more about you.”

  Payton closed the distance between them and kissed Ryann again, this time gently. Ryann was smiling when she pulled away and settled back down.

  “Sing me to sleep, Payton.”

  Payton cleared her throat and sang softly, “Helga the hippo has a bag of apples, she—”

  “Another one.”

  Payton chuckled. After a minute or two, she began Melissa Etheridge’s Sleep While I Drive and barely made it through the first verse before her eyes slipped close.

  Chapter 21

  Olivia had forgotten to make notes and sat with her chin in her hand, her eyes glazed over. She blinked when Ryann snapped her fingers in front of her face and said, “Have we put you to sleep?”

  “No…No! I was engrossed. It was really kinda convenient, wasn’t it? You met at the right time. Leigh made things simpler by being the bad girl freeing you up to be together. Don’t you have to look at it like fate intervened?”

  “Yes,” Payton said with a nod.

  Ryann shook her head to the contrary. “The right motivation came along.”

  “That is so unromantic,” Payton retorted.

  “I find it very romantic. You made me happy. I wanted to be with you. Leigh just made what I needed to do easy. We should really send her a thank-you card, but I’m sure that would piss her off.”

  “You two are at completely different ends of the spectrum,” Olivia said as she jotted a note. “So in this case, opposites attracted.”

  Payton laughed. “We are exactly alike. She’s just being a shit right now.”

  Ryann stared at the ceiling and sighed. “All right, she is my other half. At times, I am very…into the destiny thing. I really do think that I’d been waiting for her all along. It pains me to admit that because I feel like I used Leigh as much as she did me. Sometimes, I think that Leigh and I needed each other to work through whatever transition in life we were going through. We weren’t meant to be together forever.”

  “That’s a very interesting observation,” Olivia said as she made another note.

  “I think we need pizza,” Payton said as she got up. Ryann smiled as her gaze followed her.

  “Am I overstaying my welcome? We can pick this up when it’s more convenient for you both.”


  Ryann shrugged. “I’m fine. It’s a wonderful way to spend an afternoon.”

  “I’d really like to hear the rest of the story if you two don’t mind,” Olivia said and picked up the recorder. “I just need to download this to my laptop, I’m running out of space.”

  “You do that, and I’ll order pizza,” Payton said as she waved a menu. “Ryann will open a bottle of wine.”

  *******

  ******

  ***

  A car door slammed and jolted Ryann awake, but Payton didn’t stir. She lay on her back, arms folded with one foot on the dashboard. Ryann longed to trace her dark brows with the tips of her fingers, touch her parted lips with her own.

  Instead, she lay perfectly still contemplating her urges. Yes, she wanted to explore Payton’s body, but the need was more than just sexual. She wanted to know Payton’s every intimate secret. Everything else would fall into place, she was certain of it. There was no need to question it. It was though some instinct deep within her had taken control. An internal GPS had zeroed in on a target, and there was no deviation in the course. Ryann wasn’t content with the ride; she just wanted to be at her final destination.

  Slowly, she moved the blanket and sat up, shielding her eyes against the morning sun. Between two dunes, Ryann caught sight of the water and smiled. She could hear the waves crashing on the shore despite the windows being closed. Gulls flew overhead. She didn’t care what time she got back home that day. It was a fantastic feeling marred only by a full bladder and no sight of a bathroom.

  “Is ‘Oh, God, what did we do?’ running through your head?”

  Ryann grinned and gazed at Payton. “No, I’m still thrilled, but the energy drink and all the water I drank last night and early morning wants out. Now.”

  Payton laughed and threw the blanket into the backseat. “Bathroom, food, toothbrushes, those are our priorities. After that, we’ll just do whatever we want.”

  *******

  Ryann sipped her coffee and smiled when their server collected their dishes. “We were kind of hungry.”

  “Well, if you leave here the same way, we’re doing something wrong,” the woman said with a wink and set the check on the table.