An Accidental Pirate, The Adventures of Captain Pigtail McQueue

by J.A. Sprouls

  Chapter 9

  While Tally and Wicket argued and worked on their plans to get home, Pill and Lark had gone back up on deck and started to play. They decided that they would pretend the ship was really a mansion and that they were privileged young girls. So they went around ordering an imaginary butler around and lugging the doll about. They were pretending the doll was their baby sister. Pill rigged up the wheels from an extra cannon holder and made a doll carriage to push the doll around. They had been playing for about an hour when Tally and Wicket came topside with their sketches all fixed.

  They showed the sketches to the girls and even the doll. Wicket secretly thought the doll might be the only one who would support Tally's idea. The girls both thought the ideas were good and rather inventive. Pill realized she was rather surprised about how good each idea was.

  "Which one do you think is the best? I think my plan is the most logical, don't you?" Tally asked them.

  Pill knew she couldn't say one was better than the other because she would lose a friend that way, so she decided to be diplomatic, "I think Wicket's would be rather fun to do, just to see if it would work. And I think Tally's is very logical and could also work."

  Wicket noticed that Pill hadn't said which idea was the best and he thought more highly of him for that. But he had really wanted Pill to pick his idea as being the best.

  Lark didn't want to be left out and she did notice that Pill hadn't actually said which idea she liked the best so she thought she should follow Pill's lead and not say one was better than the other. "I agree with Pill. They both show great inventiveness and imagination. But…" Wicket heard the 'but' and jumped on it.

  "But, one will cost way too much to do. Tally thinks the treasure we have on board will be enough to cover the cost but it won't do us any good if we use it all up here and not save some for when we get back. That's what you're thinking, isn't it Lark." Wicket smiled at her as he said this.

  "No, it's not that. I don't think you'll have to spend any of your treasure…"

  Tally jumped on this, hey, if Wicket could jump in then so could he, "He's not using his head and it's not gonna cost too much, you just said so yourself."

  "Actually," Lark continued, "it won't cost anything because they won't sell you their wagons. It's all they have left. Most of the settlers will use the wagon as a home until they get a house built and even then they will probably end up using the wood of the wagon to build their house or make some furniture. Others will want to keep the wagon so that they have something to get them to town. And there's no way any of them would part with the oxen. They can use the milk from the females to drink or make butter and cheese. So they are a pretty important part of feeding the family. Selling them would not be an option as far as most of the families are concerned. There might be a few that would consider selling but there wouldn't be enough to pull a ship this size. So you see, it won't cost anything because they aren't gonna sell."

  Wicket seemed triumphant until Lark continued, "They aren't gonna want to let go of the spare wheels they've got either. They will need them before the trip is over and not one of them is gonna take a chance of selling you one and then needing it later on. They aren't gonna want to be left behind just because they have no extra wheels."

  "Ha! " Tally exclaimed and pointed his finger at Wicket. "Your idea is bound to fail too." He seemed to enjoy the fact that neither one would win in this contest.

  "So what do we do? I can't think of any other way to get the ship back aside from these two ideas. Do we throw the ideas out or just show them to the Captain anyway?"

  "I think you show them to the Captain anyway. This way it shows you two have been working hard on the project and that you both came up with some really good ideas. That way the Captain won't think you've been sitting around doing nothing." Pill offered.

  "Good idea, the last thing we need is for him to think we didn't take the assignment seriously. Okay, let's go to the Captain and show him our ideas. Who knows, he might have something to add to our ideas." Wicket said this as he got up and headed for the Captain's cabin.

  Pill and Lark followed because they knew that whatever went on in the Captain's cabin was gonna be a heck of lot more interesting than playing on deck.

  They knocked and the Captain told them to enter. As they entered the cabin they saw both Pigtail and Piteque leaning over a chess board and studying it. Then Piteque moved a pawn two spaces and the Captain laughed and took the pawn with his knight. He was obviously a sore winner because he waved it under Piteque's nose. That only made Piteque mad and he danced around the board looking for his next move. Pill nudged Wicket and Tally towards the table. She was hoping that they would distract them from the game. But that was mainly because she figured that there was no way that game was gonna end well. And she certainly didn't want the Knarl leaving before they had talked to the Wind Hag.

  Wicket took the hint and stepped forward. Truth be told he was thinking the exact same thing Pill was thinking. And since Lark had shot holes into both their plans he figured the Wind Hag was their only hope now.

  "Captain, we have a couple of ideas about how to get the ship back home. We even drew out a couple of sketches to show you just what we planned on. We thought you might want to take a look and maybe even suggest some ideas to improve on them." He smiled at the Captain hoping he wouldn't ask Lark about the feasibility of them.

  "Already? Boy that was quick." He held out his hand, skeptical about how good any idea could be that came from these two. He also didn't figure they gave it a lot of thought because it hadn't taken them any time at all.

  As he studied the sketches he realized that the ideas behind them were pretty good. This totally surprised him. Okay, the sketching wasn't all that good, but they did present the ideas clearly enough for anyone to understand. He had to hand it to them; they did a pretty good job.

  "We'll just set them aside for now, in hopes that the Wind Hag will do us the favor of sending us back herself. But I think they are both great ideas and I'm proud of you two for thinking things through like you did. Now if you will excuse us we have a game to finish."

  What the Captain didn't know was that while he was studying the sketches, Piteque had changed some of the chess pieces' positions so that they favored his winning. Pill and Lark had been watching him move them around and when he noticed them watching him he put a small limb to his lips as if to say, 'don't saying anything, keep quiet.' Wicket and Tally hadn't noticed a thing. They were both concentrating on the Captain's face and hoping that he would like their ideas. The girls thought it best to grab Wicket's and Tally's arms to pull them from the cabin before they Captain lost to the Knarl. They had a feeling Pigtail would be an even worse loser than he was a winner.

  "Hey, why don't we go below and see if there are any supplies we could possibly use to make your ideas work." That spurred on Wicket and Tally so they left the cabin quickly. Pill and Lark looked at each other and both sighed in relief. She didn't think Wicket and Tally would take it too well seeing the Captain raging at the little Knarl.

  Lark whispered to Pill as they went below, "Do you think one of us should stay behind to try and keep the peace between the two of them? Y'all wouldn't want to have him go back to his tree and not help, would you?"

  "I think the captain wants to get back home enough that he will hold his tongue. I mean, he's not stupid enough to insult the thing, is he?" Pill whispered back.

  "I hope not. Let's just help Wicket and Tally, that way if the Knarl leaves then it's the Captain's fault and we can't be blamed for anything in regard to it." Pill nodded in agreement.

  Pill and Lark headed back down below to see if they could help Wicket and Tally find the necessary equipment. They found the rope easy enough but looking for the timbers to make the axles wasn't that easy. Most ships carry a supply of extra planks and what not just in case they are caught in a storm and need the supplies to make repairs. The worst thing you can do at sea is find yourself on a disabled
ship and not be able to repair it to make it sea worthy. On the very last deck they found some large timber that could easily be made into axles. So Wicket and Tally were happy. Well, Wicket was anyway. To Tally it meant that Wicket's idea would probably be picked instead of his. So he sulked as they headed back topside.

  Wicket was in good spirits and was talking nonstop about his idea. "We will probably need the help of the men in your father's wagon train. Do you think they would help us?" He asked Lark.

  "Oh, I don't see why not. I noticed your kitchen is very well stocked. I bet they would do it in trade for some of your food," Lark said.

  "Great, I'm sure the Captain will be more than willing to part with a few provisions. Once we get everything rigged then we can be on our way back home. Boy, I can't wait to tell the fellas at the pub what all happened to us. I bet most don't believe us. What do you think, Tally." Pill thought he was just trying to bring Tally into the conversation to keep him from sulking anymore.

  "I suppose, It depends on how you tell it. Since we've got Pill and the Captain to back us then I reckon they will have no choice but to believe us."

  "Good point, but will the Captain back us or will he pretend none of this ever happened? Some people do that, you know. They try to block out unfortunate memories like they never happened. I had a friend like that. He didn't want to be reminded of being kidnapped and made to serve on a pirate ship. So he just pretended that he was back at home and would order the other pirates around like they were maids and butlers. Pirates don't take too kindly being treated badly. After all, they are used to being the bullies and doing the ordering. They eventually left him ashore one day, just to rid themselves of his crazy behavior."

  "So did he manage to get a ship back home? Or did he decide to stay at the port where they left him?" Pill asked.

  "Oh, they didn't leave him at a port. They left him on an island. There didn't seem to be anyone else on the island so they figured there wouldn't be anyone he could bug. He didn't seem to mind too terribly much. Though I suppose when he got hungry and there wasn't any food or anyone to bring it to him he probably started to mind then." Wicket explained.

  They had finally made it topside and realized that dusk was soon to be on them. So they headed to the captain's cabin to let them know that it was almost dusk. When they opened the door they saw a rather strange sight. The Captain was tied to the center post of the cabin and Piteque was on top of his head and was pulling up on both pigtails as hard as he could. The Captain was making whimpering noises and looking very mad. Wicket went over to the Knarl and grabbed him. When he wouldn't let go of the pigtails he thumped the Knarl in the face with his finger. That made the Knarl really mad and he tried to grab Wicket's kerchief in order to strangle him. But Wicket just held him away from his own body and let the Knarl wiggle until he just tuckered himself out.

  Tally had gone around to the back of the post and was untying the Captain. The Captain was looking around for something but couldn't seem to find what he was looking for. Pill, being the Captain's cabin boy decided it was best to do her job and asked the Captain what he was looking for.

  "An axe, something that will chop this cheating twig into little tiny twigs," His face was red with anger.

  "Gosh, I hate to point this out to you, Captain, but he's already a tiny twig so you couldn't very well chop him up into tiny twigs, he's already there. Now you could chop him up into itty bitty twigs and that would work, but the other way wouldn't." Wicket told the Captain.

  "I don't care if he's tiny twigs or itty bitty twigs just so long as he is chopped up. Tally, go down below and get a meat cleaver. That should work. There isn't much to this twig in the first place so it shouldn't take too much effort to chop him up." Tally turned and was headed toward the door when Pill spoke up.

  "I hate to tell you this Captain but it's almost dusk and we need Piteque to take us to the Wind Hag. So if you chop him up then he wouldn't be able to take us and since we don't know the way or the Wind Hag then you had better think of a different plan to take care of the cheater."

  When Pill mentioned that it was almost dusk the Captain's head had turned to look out a window. Sure enough it was almost dusk. He told Wicket to hang on to the little bugger and not loosen his grip. That was apparently the mistake the Captain had made when he went after Piteque for cheating. As soon as he had loosened his grip the Knarl had jumped free and grabbed his pigtails and started pulling them. Wicket took this order to heart and grabbed the Knarl with both hands.

  Lark pointed out to Wicket, "You might loosen your grip a very tiny bit because I think you're choking the poor Knarl. If he dies he can't take you to the Wind Hag, now can he?"

  Wicket looked at the Knarl; he was having a bit of trouble breathing. So Wicket glanced at the Captain and the Captain gave him a barely discernible nod so Wicket loosened his grip very slightly until the Knarl was breathing easier.

  "And what makes you think I'm gonna take you to see the Wind Hag now? What with the way this big bully has cheated me and treated me. I'm not gonna do it. How do you like that, buddy boy?" He said to the Captain as he defiantly crossed his twig arms.

  Pill, who had expected such a reaction stepped between the Captain and Wicket and took a small drop of honey and gave it to Piteque. The Knarl sat there smacking his lips and looking longingly at the jar of honey. So Pill told him, "You want more of this then you have to take us the Wind Hag now, otherwise you're not getting another drop. How do like that, twiggy twig?"

  Piteque was torn between showing the Captain he wasn't gonna take that type of treatment and getting his honey. In the end, the honey won out and so they headed out on deck and got ready to go over the side.

  "Wicket and Tally you stay here and watch the ship. I don't want any intruders coming aboard. We'll use the same password as before when we get back. If you don't hear the password then you don't let us or anyone else on the ship. Got that?"

  "Yes sir, but begging your pardon, what if someone on the ground heard you yell the last password when you wanted on board last time and so they figure they can get on board using the same password? Then we would have to let them on, no matter what. I mean, they would have the proper password and all." Tally asked the Captain.

  The Captain sighed and said fine, the new password is Christmas. Now that's a word that isn't gonna be used in your everyday talk and no one should be able to figure out that one, now will they?" He told Tally.

  "I would have to agree with you on that. I mean whoever heard of Christmas in July? Certainly not me, so Christmas it is. And may you three have a holly jolly good time in your adventure." Wicket said as he saluted the Captain and pushed the rope ladder over the side. He had mainly agreed with the captain in an attempt to keep Tally from arguing with the captain. After all, the Captain was still fuming about his run in with Piteque. The last thing they needed was the Captain to spend the time keelhauling one of them and end up missing his meeting with the Wind Hag.

  But that wasn't gonna stop Tally from adding his two cents worth. "Yeah, but Lark just heard the password and since her father said she was to be home before dark then she just might tell him or someone else the password. So we might want to come up with another one, just to be on the safe side. Then you should whisper it to me and Wicket and that way she won't hear us and know the password."

  "I won't tell anyone. I promise and cross my heart and spit on the ground." And she did just that.

  "Hey, I gotta clean that deck, so watch where you're spitting," Tally exclaimed.

  "Tally, I'll take care of Lark, I'll ask her father if she can come with us since she knows the ways of the area. I'm sure he will agree when I promise to keep her safe. So don't worry about that." Seeing the skeptical look on Tally's face he added, "And if he won't let me take her with us then I'll come back here with a new password, I promise. If I don't come back in the next few minutes then you will know her father said she could come with us, so you don't have to worry about the password. It wil
l remain Christmas." With that said the Captain climbed over the railing down the ladder.

  As they were leaving, Lark looked sympathetically at Tally and said, "I apologize for spitting and messing up your nice clean deck, Tally, I just wanted you to know that I meant it when I said I wouldn't tell anyone the password."

  Tally softened and told her, "I didn't really think you would but the Captain might think we were shirking our duty to him and the ship if we didn't look at all the possible angles. I'd hate to be keelhauled for missing an important detail." He smiled at her and waved as she went over the side.

  "Are you two gonna be okay here all by yourself at night?" Pill asked, a little concerned about their ability to scare themselves.

  "Not a problem, we're gonna go to the kitchen and grab a couple of knifes and heavy pans so I can stab anyone who tries to come on board and Wicket can bash them on the head with a pan." Tally bent lower down so only Pill could hear this last part and put a hand up to shield Wicket from hearing, "Wicket doesn't like knives so he gets the pans as a weapon." He then winked at Pill and helped her up over the railing.

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