An Accidental Pirate, The Adventures of Captain Pigtail McQueue

by J.A. Sprouls

  Chapter 17

  Gorbook waited until it had turned dark and then crawled back to headquarters. His whole body was throbbing but at least he had found out where the hideout was. Granted, this whole ordeal just brought home the fact that Square was indeed a very unlucky place to go and he was glad his part in this was all over so he wouldn't have to go back in there again. Then Gahn tells him he will have to lead the troops to the spot where they are hiding out. This didn't sit well with Gorbook. He grabbed a piece of paper and drew a map showing the exact location and handed it to the C.O.

  "This will have to do. I have to get to the infirmary due to the injuries I have sustained during this treacherous mission. I wish you and the troops nothing but the best of luck. You will need it since you are going into the Square."

  The C.O. scoffed and said, "I seriously doubt that there is anything to this story about the Square being 'bad luck.' It's a story and nothing else."

  "If that's the case, then the humans are much more devious than you think. If it was not 'bad luck' that caused my being beaten then the humans were very sly in making me think it was a snake they were after and not really me. But I seriously doubt they would have used such measures to hide the fact that they knew I was there. So, in other words, they were telling the truth and it was my bad luck for being in the wrong place at the wrong time. Ergo, that makes the Square 'bad luck' and not just a story. And for your sake, I hope it is true. Otherwise you don't stand a chance against the humans if they resort to such trickery." Gorbook huffed off to the infirmary.

  The C.O. looked at the map he had drawn and sighed. He guessed it would have to do for the time being. He called for his second in command, Gesus, and handed him the map. Gahn gave him orders to go and take the humans into custody. He made it clear that the Wind Hag wanted to deal with them on her own and to not harm them in any way. Otherwise, Gesus would be the one telling the Wind Hag what happened and he could face her wrath.

  Gesus wasn't pleased with this assignment, partly because the C.O. was passing the buck and partly because the hideout was apparently in the Square. He knew it was a bad luck for anyone to enter the Square. And if Gorbook's physical condition was any indicator it just substantiated this claim. So he went out and gathered his troops and they prepared to march at midnight.

  Gesus figured the humans would be asleep by this time and they could sneak up on them and capture them with little or no fighting. The last thing he wanted was to lose a few good Flugs in battle. Most of his troops were family men and he took their well-being as his personal responsibility.

  Most of the Flugs were not happy to be told they would get no sleep tonight. Even more were upset about the fact they were going into the Square. A good number of them wrote out their wills and left them behind with their personal effects. That way they were sure that family members would get it. Then they suited up for battle and headed into the Square.

  It was Tally's turn for night watch. Since the raids had started the Captain figured it might be best to have someone watching out for the authorities. Tally didn't particularly like to do it. He never could stay awake for very long. Wicket had tried to tell them that Tally wouldn't be a good night watchman but the others said that everyone had to take a turn. Tally had noticed that Pill and Lark didn't take turns, this wasn't too fair. But he did appreciate the fact that Wicket had come to his defense. He was pretty sure Wicket still was mad at him for calling him a cheater so he wouldn't have figured that he would come to his defense.

  What Tally didn't know is the reason why Wicket didn't think Tally would make a good watchman. You see, Tally had a tendency to have nightmares and start sleep walking. Or should I say, sleep fighting. Wicket always figured it was something in his subconscious that harkened back to their very first pirate fight.

  They had been peacefully asleep when the dreaded pirate, Brown Nose, had, in an attempt to please his former teacher, Howard Bonnie, attacked the Flummery. Since they were deckhands they slept on deck. But they had been told if there was ever a fight then they needed to get down below and out of the way. But since it was a surprise attack they had not had the time to get below. So they had to fight their way to the hatch. It was the only fighting they had ever done and they didn't do it very well. But since they were still alive they obviously did it well enough.

  Anyway, Tally seemed to keep reliving this particular moment in their lives when he went to sleep. When he tried to explain this to the others they just scoffed and headed off to bed. Wicket would have accompanied Tally in the watch but he was just so doggone tired from beating the bejeebies out of the snake that he just had to get some sleep, so Tally was on his own. Wicket just hoped that nothing important happened.

  Tally had drifted off to sleep about an hour after his watch started. It had started off with a rather pleasing dream of him on a beach with a bunch of women who were all cooking large pots of stew. Tally loved stew. He went from one pot to the next testing each stew and adding whatever ingredients were needed. Mainly there was a need for salt. Why no one uses salt much anymore he did not understand. It was as he was sampling the last stew that he looked out onto the horizon and saw all the ships headed towards the island. They had seen the smoke from the fires and had smelled the delicious aroma of the stews. Well, they darn sure weren't gonna take his stews from him. They were his and no one else's. He just wished they would turn around. He really didn't want to fight them over this. Food was food and he wasn't about to give up any of his. So he grabbed a sword and made ready the cannons. If it was a fight they wanted then a fight they would get.

  The Flugs had cleared the last clump of scrub and were headed for the cave when all of a sudden they heard a loud 'BOOM!' Then a cannon ball hit the middle of the ranks sending Flugs and dust flying every which way. The Flugs scrambled and dove for any cover they could find. But this being the Plains there wasn't much to hide behind, mostly cactus, bear grass and mesquite trees. None of which could withstand a cannon ball. Some Flugs, the weaker of the squad, just simply turned tail and ran away screaming - 'The curse of the Square is upon us!'

  Tally was pretty sure he had hit one of the ships on the horizon but there were others, so he had to fire upon them also. This he did with great precision. Amazingly, in his sleep, Tally was a darn good fighter. Too bad it didn't translate over to his wakened state.

  The rest of the pirates were jolted awake by the firing of the cannon. Pigtail was the first outside and headed towards Tally to keel haul him. Wicket, seeing the Captain headed towards Tally, managed to intercept him and keep him from harming Tally.

  "He's asleep, Captain. I told you he couldn't be a night watchman. He sleepwalks, though technically he wasn't walking but fighting. I tried to make you understand but you just wouldn't listen." Wicket implored the Captain not to hurt Tally.

  "I think we need to wake him up and stop him from hurting himself and keep him from possibly hurting us." Pigtail hollered over another cannon firing. Wicket agreed and they decided to each get on one side of Tally and then grab him. During this time, Tally had gotten off three more cannon shots. Suddenly, before Pigtail and Wicket could get close to him, Tally charged out into the scrub brandishing his sword and yelling 'Death to Tyrants!'

  As Wicket and Pigtail watched helplessly, Tally ran out into the night, and suddenly they saw all these Flugs jumping up and running. That was when they realized that Tally wasn't sleep fighting but that a real enemy had invaded them and that he was protecting them. They sounded the alert and grabbed swords and headed into the fray. Wicket grabbed a club instead of a sword, simply because a sword is, in essence, a really big knife and we all know how he hates knives.

  The Flugs, after being pounded by cannonballs and hearing the ruckus of the charging pirates decided that all was lost so they had best save themselves from the terror of the square and they took off running as fast as they could.

  By the time they had caught up to Tally it was apparent that the Flugs were hightailing it outta ther
e. Tally stopped running and turned to go back to the cave. Wicket and Pigtail checked the area to make sure all the Flugs had gone. Once satisfied that the Flugs had all fled, they headed back to the cave. There was Tally sound asleep in his hammock. Pigtail swung it upside down and tossed Tally out onto the deck. This woke him up with a start.

  "What'd you go and do that for?" He said in a drowsy voice as he rubbed the sleep out of his eyes.

  "Are you telling me you slept through that whole thing?" Pigtail demanded.

  "Slept through what? I didn't see or hear anything," Tally told them.

  "We were being attacked by Flugs and you manned the cannons and fired on them and then you charged them down with a sword in your hand. That sent the Flugs fleeing for their lives. You saved us," Wicket informed him.

  "Wow, do you know what that means? It means that fighting comes so easily for Tally that he could do it in his sleep. Now that's someone I want fighting for me." Jethro was amazed at Tally's daring and fortitude.

  "Actually, it means that Tally is braver and a better fighter in his sleep than when he is awake. When he's awake he's basically a big chicken." Wicket told the others.

  "For whatever reason he fought, he still defeated the Flugs and sent them running. So he did a good thing and saved us all. I think he should be congratulated for that feat." Pill thought it needed to be pointed out.

  "Yeah, Tally, the hero of dumb luck," Wicket said sarcastically.

  "But a hero just the same," Tally felt the need to rub it in a bit.

  "Okay, for whatever the reason, he saved us. Congratulations, Tally. Now we will need to fortify the area since the Flugs know where our hideout is. We don't need another surprise attack. Actually, we might need to scout out another place we can call our home port, since this one has been compromised," Jethro pointed out.

  "I agree, Jethro. You wouldn't happen to know of another cave we can hide in or possibly an inaccessible canyon?" Pigtail asked him.

  "Not off hand. I never really explored the Square too much due to the horror stories associated with it. I just found this one by chance. I'll go scouting first thing tomorrow. Who knows, I might find another cave we can dock in." He scratched his head trying to think of the best place to start looking.

  "Okay, Tally, you continue with the night watch and we'll try and get some sleep. We have a big day ahead of us. I don't think they would dare another attack tonight. Not after such a resounding defeat." Pigtail said as he headed for his cabin.

  Tally just stood there scratching his thigh and wondering what the heck happened to all his stew. Oh, well, it's around here somewhere; he thought to himself and climbed into his hammock.

  ~~~~~