An Accidental Pirate, The Adventures of Captain Pigtail McQueue

by J.A. Sprouls

  Chapter 20

  Piteque was smacking his lips as he settled down at the map table. Most of the maps on the table were useless because they were of the Gulf and there were none that were of the land. So his first suggestion was to call his kinfolks in and have them help with the drawing of maps of the landscape and the tunnels. Pigtail wasn't sure if that was a good idea but Piteque eventually convinced him that they wouldn't tip off the Flugs as to what was going on. Knarls hated the Flugs and the Wind Hag so they would be more than happy to help with her downfall. Though he did say he would be sure that his cousin Raymond wouldn't be invited, but that was because Raymond was dumber than a stump and wouldn't help their cause but would only get in the way. Pigtail gave a sidelong glance at Wicket and Tally but said nothing.

  Piteque left to get the word out to his kinfolk and the others settled down to making the new hideout a much nicer, homier place to live. Lark and Pill decided to go and look for more honey since they would have Piteque's clan coming. They were pretty sure the honey wouldn't last them all that long once they got here.

  Tally and Wicket decided to go with the girls because they were afraid that something might happen to them and then they would get into trouble for not watching out for them. It didn't take too long to find a bee hive. Lark had said it would be near the fields of flowers so they could gather the nectar and make honey from that. Tally just marched right up to the hive and started to gather the honeycomb when he suddenly realized that probably wasn't a good idea. Pill figured it was all the bees stinging him that got that across to him. Wicket stifled a laugh as Tally ran around in circles, yelping each time a bee stung him. Lark yelled at Wicket to head for the small pond and dive in and hide underwater until the bees left. So he hightailed it to the water and jumped in. Lark, taking advantage of the bees' absence, headed straight to the hive and gathered all the honey she could fit into the jars they had brought along.

  It was about five minutes before the bees gave up on Tally and headed back to the hive but by that time Lark had gathered all the honey she needed. They waited for Tally to surface. Luckily, he had found a reed and was using that to breathe with. When he finally came up out of the water he was swollen all over with the bee stings. Wicket had to half-carry half-drag him back to the hideout. Once they got there Jethro tended to Tally and his bee stings. Wicket was thinking that bee stings were a good thing. Well, for Tally. He hadn't said a single thing since he got stung. In Wicket's book that could only be a good thing.

  It wasn't until late afternoon that Piteque came back with his family. There were five members of the family with him today. And they all looked exactly alike, except for his mother. She had tied a bow in one of her branches to either make sure we all knew she was female or she was just the bow type of person.

  Pill and Lark sat down with the family of Knarls and waited expectantly for something good to happen. They had both figured that Pigtail's dislike of Piteque would also be transferred over to his family and that surely meant fireworks. Or at the very least a great wrestling match and they didn't want to miss a second of it.

  Piteque gave a bow to the girls and then introduced his family to them. "This is my Ma, but most people call her Orida."

  Lark said, 'Oooo, that's a pretty name and unique too."

  "Yep, nary a one is named that, in this area. And I'm pert near sure that they aren't named that outta this area either. My pop wanted a boy and told mom that that she better give him one 'Or I da run if I were you'." So mom shortened that to Orida, what with me being a girl and all. But pop didn't seem too sorry he had a daughter. I could keep up with my brothers any old day. And couple of them I would out do, in certain things. So I was just as good as a boy as far as my pop was concerned," Orida explained.

  Piteque continued with his introductions as soon as his ma finished speaking. "These are my brothers, Billy Bob Bubba…"

  Pill interrupted him, "Which one is Billy and which one is Bob?" This was a perfectly logical question under the circumstances.

  "Um, just this fella right here, he's all three in one. That's his full name Billy Bob Bubba. We call him BB for short."

  "Shouldn't you call him BBB for short?" Tally asked as he walked over to the table.

  "That's too much of a mouth full, buddy boy, so is his full name so we just shorten it as much as we can. And two 'B's' is better than three any old day," Orida explained.

  "Gotcha," said Tally, a little put off at being told off by a stick.

  "This one here," Piteque had grabbed the middle Knarl and shoved to the front, "is Bobby Joe Jelly, we call him BJ for short. And he's named jelly because he prefers that to honey. And this one is my Pa, his name is Arbordale. And this scrawny one here, this is my Uncle Barkley. Don't worry his bark isn't worse than his bite. So don't tick him off 'cause he always bites you if you don't agree with him. But that's strictly between us and not for the Captain's ears." He had big grin on his face when he said this last part. Pill thought he wanted Barkley to take a bite outta Pigtail and see if he would squeal like a pig.

  "That's all the clan I could get hold of real quick. There are others who would help but they weren't around. I'll have to wait until night fall when they go home to get ahold of them. But you needn't worry; we'll get plenty of them to help. Like I said, we Knarls don't like the Wind Hag so if we can help with her downfall then we most certainly will."

  Pigtail and Jethro walked in to see the Knarl clan standing on the table and talking to Pill, Lark and Tally. So they came over to the table and asked if they needed anything. It appeared as though Pigtail was willing to call a truce with Piteque in order to take down the Wind Hag. They were given small cups of honey, except for BJ; he got a small cup of jelly and they were allowed to finish them off before they got started on the maps.

  When the Knarls had finished with their libations they got up and told Pigtail they needed something to draw the maps with, so Pigtail handed them a pencil. Arbordale grabbed the pencil and looked at it wearily, "Uncle Woody, is that you?" He asked the pencil.

  Jethro slapped his hand to his forehead and said, "Great, we just gave him a reason not to help us. We killed his Uncle Woody."

  "Well, ya fill anything up with that much lead and what do you expect," giggled Lark.

  Arbordale looked at Lark and broke out laughing. Piteque told Jethro that it was a 'Knarl joke' and not to take too much that his pa said seriously. Jethro laughed and then sighed in relief.

  They sat down and Arbordale used the pencil while Barkley guided him. BJ and BB sat down watching as they ate some honey. Orida sat and talked to the girls.

  "It's so nice to have some feminine talk. With the boys all you get is sports talk or hunting talk. I can't tell you how nice to sit here and not have to talk statistics and whatnot," Orida told them.

  Lark asked her, "Did you not have any daughters?"

  "Nope, wasn't lucky enough to have any gals but that don't bother me none. The boys are real good at taking care of things and looking out for me and their pa. So I can't complain. I would like for them to get married. That's one of the reasons I'm all fired set on getting even with the Wind Hag." She continued when she saw the confused look on Pill's and Lark's faces. "The way she has things running, once you pick a mesquite tree to call your own then that's it, no traveling to other trees to visit. Nope, you've got to stay and protect the tree. That cuts down on the visiting and courting. Now how the heck are you gonna get married if you don't move about and visit and court. I personally think it's the Wind Hags' way of trying to get rid of our species. She's never liked us too much. At least not since my Grandpappy went and played that practical joke on her. He gave her a gift of these looking glasses. You could see real far away if you looked through them. Well, that's just what the Wind Hag did and when she pulled the glasses away from her face she had two big old black eyes. She didn't find that very funny. But the Flugs were on the ground rolling with laughter. That was probably why she hated the joke so much because she wa
s getting laughed at and she didn't like that in the least. I think the poor gal just doesn't have a sense of humor. I say you should be wary of anyone without a sense of humor. Anyway, after that joke she laid down some new laws, most of which were aimed at getting even with the Knarls."

  "Boy, that's not very nice," Pill declared.

  "There ain't nothing nice about the Wind Hag. I thought y'all had a pretty good grasp of that. I thought that was the whole reason you were going after her," Orida said.

  "That's true, but Pill isn't one to think unkindly of anyone. So she gives people the benefit of the doubt. She thinks there has to be something good about almost anyone. And a lot of the time that's just not true, as is the case, apparently, with the Wind Hag." Lark explained to Orida.

  "Well, you got that right, there ain't nothing that's good about her. She even eats with her mouth open." Orida shivered a little at the thought and continued, "Did you know that her father was even worse. Not only was he a blustery fella but he was full of hot air. It's bad enough to make the wind blow but to make it a hot wind, now that's just cruel."

  "So what happened to her father?" Pill asked.

  Orida thought for a moment and then decided it was okay to tell the girls. They should be old enough to hear the story, "Well, when you have special powers, like controlling the elements, then you can't really die. At least, not until you're made mortal again. As an immortal you can live forever. That's why most offspring have to go elsewhere to use their power. All the immortals who have the power to control the wind are offspring of the Wind Hag's pa. They had to find another place to use their power. And you know how it is when families get together; they have this need to outdo each other. If they had all stayed home, then they would be constantly competing against one another trying to outdo the others. If they had all stayed here then it would have been too windy for anything, creatures, trees or grasses to survive. So they all left."

  She took a swig of honey and continued. "Now her pa had a wandering eye when it came to the ladies. But most of the immortal women didn't want to have anything to do with him. After all, he was just a big old wind bag, what woman wants to tie herself down to that? Not me, that's for sure. So he got to where he was looking at the human women. There was one in particular that really caught his fancy. So he courted her. But she knew he was an immortal and she wasn't one to want a whole lot of power herself. She was afraid that she might abuse the power and so she told him the only way they could be together was for him to give up his power and become a mortal too. None of us figured he would but sure enough, he did in no time flat. So he gave his daughter his power source and became mortal. He owns a used wagon lot in Toledo and seems to be very happy."

  "He gave the Wind Hag his power source so now she has his and her power source so that makes her the most powerful Wind Hag there is. That's why the winds of West Texas can be so brutal. She is also more powerful than any of her siblings. They were all jealous that their pa had given her his power source so they haven't spoken to her in decades. So that's how she became so powerful." Orida finished up her story and smiled at the girls.

  "Now why would anyone give up power to marry someone else? That doesn't make sense," Lark huffed.

  "Shoot, love don't have to make sense. That's why it's called 'love.' Love is short for 'Look Out, Very Emotional.' It's unlike anything else on earth. Now, you gals are just too young to understand because you haven't been in love yet. But you can bet, as sure as the wind will blow on the Plains, that when it does happen to ya, you'll understand everything. But until that happens you're just gonna have to take my word for it," Orida said knowingly.

  "Boy, I'm not too sure I want it to happen to me if you lose all your common sense," Lark said.

  Pill added, "Me neither. So if she's the most powerful then how are we gonna get both her power sources and destroy them both?"

  "That's the easy part. It's the getting to the location to where the power sources are that's gonna be the hard part. It's very well protected, as well it should be. But once we get there then we'll be able to take care of them, no problem." Orida gave a sweeping gesture with her arm to indicate that it would be wiped out.

  "But if there is no power source then will that mean that there won't be any more wind on the Plains? That's what makes it the Plains in the first place. It's all so wind swept that no mountain could withstand the force. I would hate to cause the Plains to stop existing. It's some of the most beautiful country in the world," Lark said with a hint of distress in her tone.

  "Don't you go and worry about that none. As long as there are Wind Hags then there will be wind on the Plains. Once this particular Wind Hag loses her power I'm betting that another one will be more than happy to take over for her. If for no other reason than to show her up by rubbing in the fact that she still has her power source and this Wind Hag doesn't. So you needn't worry about that," Orida smiled knowingly.

  "So what exactly is the plan, in regards to our getting to the power source? I mean, if it's gonna be really hard to get to it than just how will we do it?" Pill asked with genuine curiosity.

  "You shouldn't worry about that. My Piteque is one smart Knarl. In fact, I'm guessing he's had this planned out for years and was just waiting for someone who was willing to go after the Wind Hag and who was strong enough to possibly achieve it."

  "Just what does he have against her? He seemed to like her when he took us to her," Pill pointed out.

  "Like her? Are you nuts? He hasn't got a wife because of her and he's kinda lonely. But that pretty much sums up the life of any Knarl at the moment. So we'll be able to get their help in this quest without any problems. It's the other underworld creatures that we might have trouble with. They like the Wind Hag because she takes care of them and provides food for them. This way they don't have to go looking for it themselves. And let's face it; if some of them were left to fend for themselves then they would starve. The Wind Hag has provided for them for so long they have forgotten what it's like to hunt. So we'll be going up against all of them because you bet your sweet honey, they are gonna do everything in their power to stop us, most particularly the moles. They can't see all that well and so they don't want to have to try and catch supper for themselves."

  "Hey, if they can't see all that well then we should be able to use that against them, can't we?" Lark inquired.

  "Certainly we will," Piteque had come up from behind to get in on the conversation. "But they have other means in which to 'see,' so to speak. It's a type of sonar and the Wind Hag gave it to them so they owe her and therefore will fight for her and her power source. Actually, the moles aren't the ones we need to worry about; it's the prairie dogs that scare me. They are ruthless little buggers. They dig holes any and every where they can. I've noticed a number of wagon train folks having to put an ox or horse down because it broke its leg in one of the prairie dog's holes. Now that's just plain mean spirited to go and do that to another poor old creature," Piteque shook his head in disgust.

  "So what exactly are we gonna do?" Pill asked Piteque.

  "We're gonna make do with what we got. It may not be enough but I think that Pigtail fella is one person you really wouldn't want to mess with. He's okay to play chess with but that's only because he's lousy at it. It's always fun to win against someone when they are lousy at that particular game," Piteque laughed as he said this.

  "So when will we get down to planning this whole thing out?" Lark wanted to be sure she and Pill weren't left out of the planning.

  "Just as soon as my pa and uncle get through drawing up the maps to the power source, we can start with filling in the map of the Wind Hag's defense mechanisms. From there we can decide the best way in which to go after the power source. It'll take cunning and intelligence to figure out some sure fire ways of getting past most of the traps," Piteque hesitated for a moment and then added in a hushed whisper. "So it might be best if Wicket and Tally aren't included."

  "Actually," Pill said, "I think that they ar
e a lot smarter than you think. In fact, they had some pretty good ideas about fixing up the ship. And Pigtail used some of their ideas. So I think they might be of use." She said this a little testily but she didn't want to exclude them because it would hurt their feelings.

  "Fine, but if they can't add anything constructive then they should keep their mouths shut. If we let them get on a roll in their bickering we might never get this raid planned out." Piteque didn't like to be overruled so he decided he might ought to exert some kind of control over the situation.

  Lark knew that Pill was friends with Wicket and Tally and she was pleased to see that she wouldn't desert them, most particularly since she was now a friend of Pill's. But by the same token she knew Piteque was right about their bickering. Once they get started it's really hard to make them stop. So she said, "Piteque is right, if we let them bicker then we will never get them back on track. Pill and I will try to stop them before they really get going." She looked at Pill hoping for confirmation on that and Pill nodded in agreement.

  "Well, that's settled, then. Now we just sit back and relax and wait for the maps to be drawn," Orida smiled at the three of them and leaned back against a coffee mug and tried to get some sleep.

  ~~~~~