An Accidental Pirate, The Adventures of Captain Pigtail McQueue

by J.A. Sprouls

  Chapter 23

  With the costumes made, the supplies gathered and the plan made, they decided that they would wait until morning to head out. Wicket and Tally thought they should hold back for one more day and send the Knarls in to scout for any more possible traps or creatures they might have to face but Pigtail put the kibosh on that idea. He knew Wicket and Tally were scared of what they were going to be facing but the sooner they got on with it the sooner it would be over and the sooner the power supply would be destroyed. So they settled in for the night in hopes of getting a good night's sleep.

  Wicket and Tally thought that was expecting too much from them. After all, they were about to risk their lives and if Pigtail thought that was going to make for a peaceful slumber then he had another think coming.

  "You awake, Wicket?" Tally whispered from his hammock.

  "Now that's a darn fool question to be asking. Of course I'm awake, and I ain't getting any good night's sleep no matter whether the Captain ordered us to or not. I don't know who he thinks he is if he figures that'is gonna happen." Wicket whispered back to Tally.

  "Do you think we're gonna die? Do you think this is just some stupid bit of revenge on the Captain's part and nothing more? Do you think the color yellow makes me look sallow?"

  "How the heck should I know if yellow makes you look sallow? It's not like I'm looking at you at every opportunity I get. You're my buddy, buddies don't look at that sort of things, now do they?" Wicket said, a bit aggravated. "I also think you're right that this is just a bit of revenge on the Captain's part. But when we became pirates we knew that we might not survive it. I mean, let's face it; the mortality rate isn't very good, is it? And the way I look at it, if we can stop that old Wind Hag from hurting others or denying them their requests, like she did us, then it serves her right and we'll be doing a bit of good here on earth. As I understand it, doing a good act is the only thing will get a pirate into heaven. So I'm more than willing to try, even if I do die. Not that I want to die, but I've decided to think positive about this whole adventure. Besides, in case you've forgotten, the old hag tried to kill us by caving in our old hideout. And what for, you may ask, because we robbed someone in her territory and for no other reason than that. It's not like we made anything from the robbing, now is it? No, we got our comeuppance from robbing because we didn't get a darn thing that was worth anything. And, I might add, we wouldn't have to resort to robbing if only she granted us our wish to go home. So it's all her fault and she's getting what she deserves," Wicket finished up.

  "I know that, but I would really like to live. I would also like to go home. I just wish I could put on some magic shoes and click the heels and think about there being no place like home and then suddenly find myself back home. That's what I wish could happen." Tally sighed and rolled over in his hammock.

  Wicket snorted and told Tally, "Magic slippers and them being able to transport a person home is pure fantasy and would never happen, not even in some strange work of fiction. I mean, really? That is just not gonna happen. And no, before you ask, that ain't no 'coming thing' either. Now let's just try and get some sleep, okay. We'll be getting up in few hours so we need as much sleep as we can muster."

  "Hear, hear!" Came the chorus from the Knarls who were hanging down from the hammocks ropes.

  With the sun rise came the smell of cooking bacon and coffee. That seemed to rouse most of the inhabitants of the hideout. The Knarls were trying their best to ignore all the activity and get in some more sleep time but Pill wasn't about to let that happen. If she had to get up then, by golly, so did they. She climbed up on a stool and dripped honey on each of the Knarls. That really woke them up. Not so much because they didn't like someone dripping sticky stuff on them as they slept but because their fellow Knarls were trying to lick as much honey off the others as they could get. Most took offense to that.

  "Hang on now, that's my honey, it's on me, now isn't it? Go and lick your own honey and leave mine alone," BB shot at his brother BJ.

  Pigtail was yawning and stretching as he walked over to the table and sat down. Jethro was already there and going back over the plan again for about the sixth time. He didn't want to miss anything and was sure the more he pored over it the better it would be etched in his mind so that he could simply react and not have to think about things when they happened.

  Lark was helping fix breakfast and mumbling to Pill, "I thought Wicket and Tally were the cooks, so how the heck do we always end up doing the cooking?"

  Pill sighed and told her, "They're chauvinists and think that is all a girl can do. Well, let's just hope they don't need us to help them out of a bit of trouble in this adventure because I'm thinking I'll only do so on the condition that I never have to cook again. Besides, I'm not any good at it. My mother washed and repaired clothes, she didn't cook. Then again we didn't have all that much to cook, so she never taught me how. As a cabin boy I was supposed to do 'boy' things and cooking wasn't considered one of those duties."

  "Wicket and Tally are boys and Pigtail was the cook before the old Captain was swept overboard. So why would they think it was a girl thing?" Lark inquired.

  "Because they don't have women on pirate ships so they have to make do with what they have, and that's mainly men. That's pretty much the only reason that I can figure out," Pill replied.

  They set the food on the table and Jethro made them say grace before digging in. The others weren't too happy about having to say grace before eating but Jethro pointed out that they had to set a good example for the girls. Wicket and Tally agreed, but secretly thought it was a waste of time. The girls didn't seem any better off or worse for that matter, because of it.

  The Knarls took turns dipping their branches into the honey and then sucking on them. Pigtail hardly touched his breakfast, he was too nervous about what they were about to do. As Captain he was responsible for their lives and would regret ever going if anything happened to them. But he was also responsible for getting them back home and with the power source he just might manage it. So he told himself that over and over again so as to convince himself that they were doing the right thing.

  After everyone had finished their breakfast Jethro and Wicket went to change into the Flug suits. The others were busy trying to pack everything into the bags they were planning on carrying. They were straining trying to fit the planks and shields into one of the bigger bags and sacks when Jethro and Wicket came out in their suits.

  Then Pigtail and Tally grabbed some glue and started to rub the entire suit with it. As soon as they finished Jethro and Tally rolled around in the dirt so that they had a 'fresh' dirt look so as to fool the Flugs. Once that was done they set out towards the Flug headquarters. Barkley stayed behind to hold down the fort as was decided the night before. They wanted to be sure that they had a safe haven to return to most particularly if they had failed to retrieve the power source. Either way, the Wind Hag was bound to be after them and a safe hideout was crucial to their safety.

  It was very silent going. No one was speaking. In Tally's case it was because he was afraid that his breakfast might try to make a break for it through his mouth if he opened it. He was very worried and extremely scared.

  Arbordale was perched on the shoulder of Pigtail as he directed them. It had been decided that when they came into view of the headquarters then the Knarls would hide so as not to end up being called traitors if the plan failed. The last thing Jethro wanted was for them to get into trouble just for wanting to help them out. Pigtail protested over this but that was only because he really didn't trust Piteque. The chess game was still very much in the forefront of his mind.

  BB was the first to see movement off to the left of the group's position. He and the other Knarls scrambled around and hid in the sacks. Wicket moved to the back of the group and pulled a spear out as if he was leading them as captives. Jethro was in front and trying to look important. As it turned out Gesus was the one who first approached them, Levious was following him, spear d
rawn. Gesus was very cautious because they didn't look like Flugs, at least they were unlike any Flugs he had ever seen.

  Gesus put up a hand and the group halted. "So just who the heck are you and what are you doing in our territory?"

  Jethro stepped forward and raised his hand in salute as the Knarls had taught him and said, "We're from the Central Nether Region, CNR for short. We were sent by our commanding officer to inspect your headquarters and see if you had any security improvements that we could utilize. He sent us here because he had heard that your region was tops in security. As I understand it you have the most to protect and therefore would have up-to-date security measures." Jethro shifted around a bit nervously as he finished telling them.

  Gesus smiled and nodded in relief. That would explain why they looked different from the local Flugs. He had heard that there had been a lot of inbreeding among the CNR Flugs and so that would account for their odd appearance. "Well, your commanding officer is right. We have the absolute best of the best when it comes to security measures. But what's with the humans? Who are they and where did you find them?"

  "We were passing by this collapsed cave and here they were crawling out of a hole they had dug. We thought there might have been a reason for the cave to have collapsed so we decided in the best interest of Flugs we ought to take them into custody. I figured they could be questioned later. I'm sure we can learn from your interrogation techniques too."

  Gesus frowned and then turned to Levious, "Aren't these the humans we were supposed to have killed by collapsing the cave?"

  Levious hung his head down and nodded meekly.

  "Well, it seems we didn't fully achieve our objective. I'll have to report this to Gahn who in turn, will report to our Secretary of Military, who will then go to the Wind Hag. I just hope this doesn't mean that I or anyone else under my command is going to end up going topside." He sighed as he said this and hung his head. Jethro came very close to pointing out that they were obviously topside at the moment but managed to check himself. The last thing they needed is to tick off any of the Flugs, most particularly those who were in command.

  Gesus told Levious to run and inform Gahn that some VIP's were coming and they had the humans in custody. Levious hesitated for a moment because he knew he was going to be the bearer of bad news and he really didn't want that to happen. It wasn't until Gesus raised his hand as if to hit him that he turned and hustled back to headquarters.

  Gesus slowly led the others toward headquarters. He hoped that the slower he went then the more time Gahn had to calm down after being told of their failure.

  Meanwhile, Jethro, Pigtail and the others were rather relieved that the Flugs had taken it for granted that Jethro and Wicket were actually Flugs.

  As they neared the underground entrance to the Flug headquarters Tally began coughing uncontrollably. Wicket jabbed him with his spear to try and make him stop but that just tickled Tally and his coughing became an uncontrollable laugh. Gesus turned and looked at Tally and then at Jethro and asked, "What's wrong with him?"

  "He's a human, we all know they aren't right in the mind. I figured this one was even more unstable from the others because he was actually eating dirt, the cannibal." Jethro snorted.

  Gesus was obviously revolted by the thought of someone eating dirt and turned away from him in disgust. Tally was really ticked about being called a nutter but at least he had stopped laughing.

  Once inside the headquarters Wicket moved his prisoners to a corner out of the way and to give them a full view of what was going on. They wanted to be able to attack them unhindered by any furniture and other Flugs.

  As it turned out the Secretary of Military was with Gahn when Levious had arrived. It was, however, not lucky for Levious. They were so upset over this failure that they decided to blame Levious for everything. He was on the floor begging and groveling at Gahn's feet as the Pirates gathered into the office. Levious even grabbed some dirt off the floor and began rubbing Gahn's boots with it. Funny, thought Wicket, in human military they tried to polish boots until they shined, here, obviously, they wanted it smudged with as much dirt as possible. He quickly tried to rub dirt onto his boot with his other foot just so he could blend in even better.

  "I do not forgive sloppiness. Having these humans survive and using all our explosives is unacceptable. Levious, you will go to the brig and inform the warden that you are to spend the next week there as a punishment for this failure," said the Secretary of Military. She stood there with her feet spread and hands on her hips. She towered over Gahn who was not a small Flug by any means. Pill figured it was her physical features and her commanding manner that got her the top job in the Flug military. The Secretary of Military was obviously someone you didn't want to cross.

  "Yes, your Secretaryness. But I would like to state that I was sent on patrol to find the humans and find them I did. I ended up being beaten severely by one of the humans and after arriving back here and reporting, I went to the hospital. I had nothing to do with the planning of or the leading of the attack. I did my job and told them where they could find humans," Levious said in a quavering voice.

  Gahn, wanting to get his failed leadership off the Secretary's mind spoke, "And just which of these humans beat you. We will not tolerate such actions so they must and will be punished."

  Levious turned and looked at the humans and studied them before saying, "I don't see him, but then again humans all look alike to me, so who knows, it could be one of them." His voice trailed off meekly.

  "Actually, we asked the humans if there were others and they mentioned that two had been killed in the cave collapse. That could account for the one who did such a despicable act not being here," Jethro said thinking quickly for a reason why there were two missing from the original number of humans.

  Levious looked up at the humans and counted them and said, "He's right, there are two less than there had been."

  The Secretary crossed her arms and took a deep breath before saying, "It doesn't mean that someone should not have to pay for this failure. I will not allow shoddy work under my command. After all, I'm the one who has to report to the Wind Hag, I'm the one who will have to face punishment from her. And if I'm gonna be punished then, by golly, so will someone else. I won't suffer alone."

  Pigtail then stepped forward and spoke to the Secretary, "I think I can spare you that bit of punishment."

  The Secretary looked at him oddly before saying, "And just how do you figure on keeping that from happening." She didn't usually listen to humans but if it could keep her from getting punished then she was certainly gonna hear him out.

  With that he pulled out his sword and the others, following the Captain's lead pulled out their weapons too. "Easy. We are taking you as prisoners and you will lead us to the Wind Hag's power sources. We won't harm you, but if you try to fight and escape then we will take any and all means necessary to stop you, even if that means turning you into mud."

  It seems the horror of being turned into mud was a very convincing threat and so they surrendered their weapons and held their hands up.

  Arbordale popped up out of one of the sacks and said to Pigtail, "They don't need to have their arms up, if someone sees that then they will know that there is something wrong. I think they should lead us to the brig and make it look as though they are taking the prisoners to jail. The tunnel to the power sources is just off to the left of the tunnel to the brig."

  "Good idea and thanks for the tip about turning them into mud. I wasn't sure it would work but apparently you were right about that," Pigtail whispered back to Arbordale.

  So they all got underway with the Secretary in front, followed closely by Gahn and Levious with Jethro right after them holding on to a bottle of water ready to douse them if they tried anything. Wicket brought up the rear with the others in the middle of the group. Just as they got to the fork that leads to the brig they instead took the left tunnel and headed towards the power source.

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