An Accidental Pirate, The Adventures of Captain Pigtail McQueue

by J.A. Sprouls

  Chapter 28

  Just as he finished saying that, one of the horny toads let out a great screeching sound. His chain had become wedged between two rocks and he couldn't move. Lark immediately went over to the creature and started to pet him to calm him down.

  "This shouldn't be a problem," Wicket said as he studied the lock on the metal collar. "I should be able to pick this lock in no time flat." He pulled his backpack off and rummaged through it until he found some wire. He twisted the wire so that he could fit it into the lock. He wiggled the wire around for a few seconds when the lock clicked and the metal collar fell off.

  Pill was tickled pink over his success and asked him to do that to the other collars so that the horny toads would be free. Wicket obliged and in a matter of minutes the horny toads were free of their bondage. They seemed very happy about that because they started to skip around Wicket as if to say thank you.

  Wicket was a little overwhelmed at the outpouring of appreciation and a bit embarrassed too. "Okay, okay, I freed you. You you can to go anywhere you want. I'm not stopping you from going topside if you want to. So have happy new life, and just don't forget to help someone in their time as need." Wicket told them and sincerely hoped they would stop dancing in a circle around him.

  "Okay, they're free and able to choose what they want to do, so let's get moving. I want to get this whole ordeal over with as quickly as possible," Pigtail said as he moved into the tunnel.

  The others followed, as did the horny toads. Of course, the fact that Pill and Lark were dropping bits of food behind them wasn't hurting.

  "You know," Pill said in a hushed voice, "We can't just call them 'horny toads' from here on out. They need names, don't ya think?" She asked Lark.

  "You're right, that would make them more like pets rather than just some big old scary creature," Lark said as she turned to look at the horny toads. "I think the big one should be called Ketzial."

  Tally, who had been listening to the girls talk, asked, "Now why would you name it that? I mean that's not your normal average every day type of name for a pet."

  "But they aren't your normal average, every day, type of pet, now are they?" Lark replied.

  "No, I guess not…." Tally had started to say but Lark cut him off.

  "Nope, they are unique and genuinely special, so they need a name to match. And I think the name Ketzial is fitting for one of them." She went over to the big one and petted him and asked him, "You like the name Ketzial, don't ya, boy?" The horny toad seemed to understand what she was asking him because he began to nod his head. "Well, that settles that, this one is named Ketzial. Now we need three more really unique names for the others. I named my horny toad so y'all need to come up with the other names. And remember, they have to be unique and special to reflect their true selves."

  Tally, nodded in agreement with Lark and as he walked you could almost see him straining to think of a great name. Pill and Wicket were also thinking of names but they didn't have to strain as much as Tally. That was probably because they had much more practice at thinking than Tally.

  Wicket was the next person to think of a name for a horny toad. "I think this jumpy one here should be called Spring. You know, because he jumps and springs. Now that is a unique name, isn't it?" He asked Lark.

  "Oh, my yes, that is a very special name. So Spring, do you like your name?" Lark said as Spring began bouncing around Wicket in favor of his new name.

  "Okay, that has those two taken care of, it's your turn now," Wicket smiled as he said this to Tally and Pill. This ticked Tally off a bit because he thought Wicket was rubbing it in his face that he got a unique name before he did, but he wasn't gonna let that stop him from coming up with an even better name than Wicket did.

  Before Tally could even start his thinking process again Pill came up with her name.

  "I remember reading once about a gentle breeze being called a Zephyr. And since it was a horrible bad wind that got us here and in all these bad situations then I think we should go with the exact opposite and name one of them Zephyr. That way the horny toad could represent the good side of wind and so when we call him, then we will think pleasant thoughts. Just like when a gentle breeze when it hits your face on a hot day. It's a very nice experience and this is a very nice horny toad," Pill finished as she stroked the forehead of the horny toad she named Zephyr.

  The horny toad really enjoyed her stroking him and he also seemed to like the name Zephyr too. So now what was left was for Tally to name his horny toad. This could take a while. The last horny toad, sensing that Tally was having trouble coming up with a name for him, came up beside Tally and rubbed his leg in hopes of inspiring him.

  Pigtail and Jethro were unaware of what the others were up to and the Knarls, who had attached themselves to the two lead adults in order to see what was coming up next, hadn't heard any of their conversation either. So they continued on, not realizing that Tally was in danger of a major brain explosion as he tried to think of a great name.

  "Tally, just think of the qualities of the horny toad, that's what I did and that's where I came up with the name of Spring." Wicket said in hopes of helping his friend come up with a good name.

  "I think you should just think of something that is inspirational for you and then you could come up with a name from that," Pill offered.

  Tally was just a little ticked at everyone talking while he was trying to think. I mean, how the heck could they expect him to come up with a great name if they were jabbering all the time. Hey, how about Jabber. Now that would be a unique name, he thought to himself. He looked down at the horny toad and realized that he didn't make much noise at all. So Jabber was out. Gosh, he had only just met this horny toad. How was he supposed to know what his special qualities were? It wasn't as obvious as Wicket's, what with his jumping up and down all the time. Tally sighed to himself. All he hoped was that his horny toad was going to be a lot braver than he was. But that shouldn't be too hard to do seeing as to how Tally was a big chicken. Hmmm, how about Chicky? No, he was pretty sure his horny toad was a boy, just how he knew that he wasn't sure, but he just knew. So a girly name wouldn't fit him at all. Maybe when they encountered the next booby trap then his horny toad would show some sort of valor and save them all. That's when it came to him and he got a big old grin on his face and turned to the others.

  "I think mine should be named Valiant." That was all he said and then he looked down at the horny toad beside him and it was obvious that the horny toad approved of the name. He had done it. He had come up with a unique and special name and no one had to help him do it. Maybe he was starting to become the smart one of the group. Then again, maybe not, but the thought did make him feel a little less stupid.

  It wasn't until they heard a shout from the front that they all forgot about the horny toads and focused on the fact that they were still on a dangerous adventure.

  Wicket and Tally made their way to the front and stood alongside Jethro and Pigtail as they watched a shimmering blue light that appeared to stretch from the bottom of the floor all the way up to the top of the cave. It created a tunnel or tube shape and in the very middle you could see two silver glowing orbs sitting on top of two pillars. The light itself was a bit hypnotizing and they all stood there as if in a trance. It wasn't until Orida pinched Pigtail's cheek that he started to focus again on the mission at hand.

  "I'm guessing that is the force field? What do we do now?" He asked the others in hopes of pulling them out of their trance-like states.

  "Isn't this the reason we brought the mirrors?" Tally asked.

  "Yes, it is but I'm not too sure if that is gonna work," Pigtail pointed out the obvious.

  "The force field isn't the only thing we have to contend with. In case none of you have noticed there are Flugs guarding the force field and the power sources," Jethro indicated the dirt clods in velvet with a wave of his hand.

  They all shrunk back into the tunnel and peeked around the wall looking at the Flugs they woul
d have to get past. Pill had grabbed the binoculars that Tally had in his backpack and started to look around to see if there was any way they could get past the Flugs without them knowing they were there.

  "See, Wicket, it's a good thing we made you and Jethro stay in the Flug costumes. You two may be our only hope in getting to the power source," Pigtail sounded a bit relieved that he might just get out of having to do anything dangerous.

  Pill was still looking all around the cave with the binoculars as the horny toads sat down and made themselves comfortable.

  "Hey, look at the very top of the force field," Pill told the others.

  "It's really hard to see. The brightness of the force field against the darkness of the cave makes it difficult to see. It's kinda blinding," Wicket pointed out to Pill.

  "Well, then take the binoculars and look at the very top," Pill said as she held the binoculars out.

  Pigtail took them and focused them on the top of the force field. "Okay, so what am I looking at?" He asked Pill.

  "You notice that it doesn't actually go all the way to the top. It just looks as though it does from here," she pointed out to him.

  "Okay, so excuse my ignorance, but so what?" Pigtail replied.

  "Well, if the horny toads could make it down the cliff side to the new tunnel then I think they could climb up to the top of the cave and hold on. Then one of us ties a rope around the horny toad's middle and lowers themselves down to the power sources, putting them in a backpack and climbing back up to the horny toad, who then turns around and brings that person back, easy as pie. And since I thought of it I don't think I should have to be the one to go." She added as an afterthought.

  "Say, that might just work. But just because you thought of it doesn't mean you are getting out of it that easy. It's going to need to be someone small who doesn't weigh too much so that the horny toads aren't overwhelmed by the weight and lose their grip and fall. So that means you and Lark need to be the ones to do that." Jethro pointed out to Pill.

  "Piddle, don't I get any credit for thinking of it?" She sounded very disappointed.

  "Certainly you do, but now we need to focus on the job at hand. Kudos will be handed out after we are safe back at our hide out," Pigtail told her.

  "I think we should also have a diversion. I mean, they probably are gonna be wondering why there are a couple of giant horny toads climbing the wall, don't y'all think?" Tally offered.

  "Good point, which is where Jethro and Wicket being dressed as Flugs will come in handy. They can say they are inspecting the force field to make sure it is still functioning properly," Pigtail said.

  "Yeah, but that would mean maintenance and not some high ranking official in the military. So we are out of uniform in that regards. Maybe we can say we are inspecting the technology of the force field to see if might have any military applications and that's why we are here," Jethro offered.

  "No, I don't think they would let Flug military personnel from another colony know about their technology. They might think the others would turn it against them and conquer them. No, I think maintenance is our best bet," Pigtail concluded.

  Lark had the binoculars now and was looking at the two Flugs who were standing on either side of the force field. "Hey, those two Flugs look familiar," She said after a moment of staring at them.

  "How can you tell, they all look like big walking dirt clods to me," Pigtail replied.

  "It's because of their uniform. I think those are the ones who were guarding the Wind Hag's chambers. What were their names again, Glop and Goop?"

  "No," Pill answered, "it was Gape and Gog. They are twins, remember? I also believe they are the meanest of the Flugs and that's why the Wind Hag had them guarding her chambers."

  "Well, that makes sense," Wicket said, "I would want the meanest to protect me too. And since they were alerted to our presence in the tunnels a long time ago the Wind Hag probably figured that they should be the ones to protect her power source. Not that they expected us to get this far, I figure."

  "But that could work in our favor, since we know their names then we could pass ourselves off more convincingly as Flugs," Jethro pointed out.

  "Yeah, but that's not gonna be worth a darn since they aren't dressed like the maintenance Flugs, now is it?" Arbordale indicated Jethro and Wicket with his thumb.

  "Would it show what maintenance looked like in the book? Because I brought it along, just in case," Pill asked.

  Pigtail looked at Pill in amazement and grinned broadly at her. "That's a girl; you've got one smart brain, Pill." She smiled at the compliment. After all, girls aren't usually praised for intelligence but rather for their looks.

  "So does that mean I don't have go with the horny toads to the top of the cave?" She hoped.

  "Nope, but when we get back to the hide-out then you're in store for some mighty strong praise, I can tell you," Pigtail told her.

  Pill thought to herself - yippee, praise! She rolled her eyes and pulled the book out of her backpack and handed it to Pigtail.

  He thumbed through the pages until he finally found the page for the dress requirements for working in maintenance. He would look at the picture and then at Jethro and Wicket and then back down at the book again. "Near as I can see, if we take off the gold braids and the shoulder adornment and add a patch onto the sleeve then they would look like maintenance workers. What do you think, Pill?" He asked her as he handed the book back.

  She looked at the one and then at the others and felt the captain was right. "It shouldn't be too hard to make the patch. All I need is some material and we can use the different backpacks for that." She was pulling her small sewing kit from her backpack as she said this. She began cutting and removing things from the uniforms and then made the patches and sewed them onto their left sleeves. She stepped back to look at her work and then handed the book back to Pigtail and asked, "You think that should do it?"

  "Looks good to me," Pigtail told her. He handed the book over to Jethro and the others and asked their opinion. They all agreed that they looked like the picture in the book aside from the fact that they were humans in Flug costumes.

  "I think it is dark enough down here that they won't notice anything amiss," Jethro said.

  "Yeah, but you're forgetting that Flugs are under grounders who are used to the dark. So they can probably see as well we can up top. So don't count on that saving you," Orida pointed out to the others.

  "What about names and ID's? Do you think they will need that?" Tally asked the others.

  "Good point," Jethro said as he rummaged through his backpack. He grabbed a sheet of paper and handed it to Wicket. "That will be our work orders, so be sure to consult it often and don't let them near you. I would hate for them to find out it's just the map Arbordale help draw."

  "Now all they need are some good Flug names. Ones that won't make them seem too human. I think that names with the letter 'G' are very common in Flug households. And they can't be normal names like Goliath or Gunter," BB pointed out.

  "Goliath and Gunter are common 'G' names?" Wicket asked in a confused tone.

  "Normal for humans, but Flugs are not normal, I think that's why they live underground, so that their differences are harder to spot." BB retorted. He was a bit ticked that Wicket would question what he said.

  "Then how about Glop and Goop? That was what I thought those two down there were named so maybe that would make them perfect names for Flugs," Lark said.

  "Yeah and Glop and Goop would be perfect names for maintenance workers because they clean up all sorts of stuff," Tally said with a slight giggle to his voice.

  "Okay, so you're Glop and Goop and you're there to inspect the force field to make sure it is strong and hasn't been weakened in any way. After all, the last thing you would want is for it to fail just when there are humans down here headed this way," Pigtail told Jethro and Wicket.

  "Which one is Glop and which one is Goop?" Wicket asked wanting to make sure he knew the story well before going
in there.

  "It doesn't really matter, does it?" Jethro replied.

  "Well, then I get to be Glop and you can be Goop, seeing as to how it doesn't matter," Wicket told Jethro.

  "Fine, I'm Goop and you're Glop. Now we need to fix up a harness for the girls and the rope they will use to get down to the power sources. I hope the horny toads don't mind having something tied to their middle," Jethro said.

  It took about thirty minutes to get the horny toads all decked out in their harnesses. Lark gave Pill two bags to put the power sources in once she got down to them. That way hoisting them back up would be easier than her trying to climb back up with them in her hands.

  "Hey, why am I the one going down there? I thought of the idea so it should be you who goes down there, not me." Pill didn't like the idea that she would have to try and climb back up a rope after climbing down one in the first place.

  "But I'm not any good at climbing; you can ask my dad, if you want to. I've always been really bad at it. And besides, I am stronger than you are and I can help pull you back up easier than if you had to pull me back up. So it only makes sense that you be the one to climb down."

  Pill gave her a dirty look and thought to herself that she really needed more friends. Pill accepted this only because she wanted to get it over with and arguing would only delay the inevitable.

  She and Lark climbed up on the horny toads and secured themselves and gave Jethro and Wicket the signal that they were ready. The horny toads climbed up the wall of the tunnel to the top of the cave mouth and were waiting for the fake Flugs to go in.

  Jethro and Wicket entered the cave area and tried to look as though they knew what they were doing. They walked up to Gape and Gog and gave the Flug salute that Arbordale had taught them.

  "Hey, there Gog, Gape, how's things going? It's a real punch in the gut about everything going on isn't it?" Jethro said as he walked up to them.

  Gog and Gape looked puzzled at each other. They were pretty sure they didn't know these strange looking Flugs but that was no guarantee. They didn't have the best of memories. Jethro realized that they were confused so he said, "I'm Goop and this is Glop. We're from maintenance. Remember, we met at that party a few weeks ago."

  Gog and Gape, didn't want to look as stupid as they were, so they pretended to remember them and asked how things were going and what they were doing here.

  Gape, not wanting to be the stupider of the two told Gog, "Obviously they are from maintenance and are here to fix something."

  "Well, I can see that, I've got eyes, you know. Granted they may not be very big eyes but they are eyes, just the same. Besides they already told us that was where they were from so it didn't take any great brain wave for you to have figured that out," Gog snapped back at Gape.

  Then Jethro, realizing that he was talking to a Flug equivalent of Wicket and Tally, explained that they were there to make absolutely sure that the force field was at full force. As Jethro explained this to the Flugs they walked around to the side of the force field hoping to draw the attention of the guards so they wouldn't see the horny toads coming into the cave.

  Pill and Lark were hanging on for dear life. It was a very strange sensation to be hanging upside down and to be moving. Pill was thankful she had learned how to control her motion sickness on The Flummery; otherwise she might have been really sick. Lark was another story. When Pill looked over at her she could see she was trying very hard not to get sick. Jeesh, the last thing they needed - for one of them to throw up on the Flugs below. That would be a sure give-away.

  "I'm thinking we need to first check the density of the force field, don't cha think, Glop?" Jethro said to Wicket.

  Wicket was too afraid of saying something wrong just nodded his head in agreement. Jethro fumbled with his back pack and pulled his father's pocket watch out. He held it up and fiddled with the top knob to make it look like he was adjusting it.

  Gog was curious about what Goop had in his hand and so he asked him what it was. He had never seen the likes of it.

  "This, oh, well, this is a density meter. It will tell us how dense the force field is in different areas. If the force field is weaker in some areas than others then that means we will need to tweak it so that I get a steady reading all over." Jethro rolled his eyes at Wicket when the two Flugs turned to each other, obviously impressed with the pretend capabilities of the pocket watch.

  Gog and Gape watched Jethro and Wicket as they walked very slowly around the force field. Jethro continued to move the pocket watch up and down as though scanning the force field. It was when Wicket indicated to Jethro that the girls were above the force field right now that he stopped and tried to draw the Flugs' attention back to the front of the cave and away from the force field.

  Pill and Lark were waiting for the Flugs to stop looking at the force field and were wishing they would hurry up. Pill was getting dizzy with all the blood going to her head. Lark was readying the rope and the pack to put the power sources in as they waited.

  Finally, Jethro managed to draw the Flugs attention away from the force field and so Pill lowered the rope and started to climb down. She was kinda glad she was the one to climb down now. It meant she wouldn't be hanging upside down even if it was just for a little bit. She had to wait for her head to clear before started down the rope.

  Jethro was trying hard to think of some way of keeping the Flugs attention away from the force field so he tried to engage them in conversation.

  "What have you heard about the break in? They don't tell us squat in maintenance."

  Gog gave a smug smile to Gape and started to tell him what all he knew, "We know they made it past the labyrinth. Darned if I can figure out how the heck they managed that. We had to take the elevator from the Wind Hag's Chambers down here 'cause we never have been able to get through that maze. Gape here," Gog indicated his twin "always gets stuck halfway through. Me, I usually make it to near the end but always seem to get stuck in a dead end. So the Wind Hag told us to take the elevator." He motioned over towards the side of the cave and Jethro looked and was able to barely see the outline of a door. He thought to himself, if they could get Gog and Gape tied up they might be able to use the elevator to get back up top.

  "Hey, why didn't you two use the elevator?" Gape asked them.

  Jethro did some quick thinking and replied, "Well, we had the things those intruders had messed up to fix, now didn't we?"

  Gog and Gape thought for a second, which appeared to be too much for them to do. They were really straining and looked as if their heads were about to explode. But then apparently they decided to take them at their word.

  "Makes sense, I bet those humans are blundering around in these tunnels, totally lost," Gape giggled as he said this.

  "Well, one thing we know for sure, they didn't find the special entrance to this tunnel." He jerked his thumb over his shoulder to indicate the cave entrance they had used.

  Gog and Gape seemed a bit relieved to hear that.

  "That's good, which means they will be in the tunnels for a lot longer, giving the Special Forces time to find them. I wasn't looking forward to having to deal with them. Humans are such barbaric creatures. I betcha they don't fight fair at all." Gog told them.

  "Yeah, I bet they would use water on us and make us all sticky and runny. Man, I hate getting wet. It takes so daggum long to dry out and you can't do anything while you're wet," Gape complained to them.

  Jethro and Wicket looked at each other and silently assured the other that they would be emptying their water bottles on them if it came to that. It was really darn nice of the Flugs to tell them how they could be defeated.

  Meanwhile Pigtail, Tally and the Knarls were watching from the cave entrance as Pill slowly lowered herself down to the power sources. She managed to get them into the pack and Lark was slowly pulling them up trying not to make the pack swing too much. The last thing they needed was for it to hit the force field and alert the Flugs what they were up to. Once Lark s
ecured the pack to the horny toad she grabbed the rope Pill was dangling from and started to pull it up. Pill, in an intense desire to get the heck outta there started to climb up the rope. She figured that would be the fastest way to get back up. But the movement of climbing combined with Lark's pulling made the rope swing more than it needed to. It wasn't until Pill nearly touched the force field that she stopped climbing and depended on Lark to pull her the rest of the way up.

  Once she secured herself to the horny toad again they turned around and headed for the cave entrance. Wicket, who had been keeping up with the girls' progress realized they needed to draw the Flugs attention away from the cave entrance again. So he looked over at the area where Gog had indicated the elevator was and said, "Is there someone coming down in the elevator? I hear it moving."

  Gog and Gape automatically turned and looked and Gog cocked his head so as to hear better before saying, "Yep, it sure does sound like someone is coming down. I bet it's the Wind Hag. She's been checking in on the power sources regularly just to make sure they are safe and sound."

  Wicket gave Jethro a helpless look and tried to get Jethro to understand that he had just made that up. But before he could get that across to his fellow pirate Jethro said, "The Wind Hag herself. Jeesh, we better get outta here, Glop. I mean we're not authorized to gaze upon the Wind Hag." With that said, they turned and took off for the cave entrance, leaving the two Flugs standing there a Gape and a Gog at their abrupt departure.

  When they got there they told the others that the Wind Hag was maybe coming down the elevator and that they better get the heck outta there. So the pirates all took off back up the cave.

  Once the Wind Hag had made it down the elevator and realized that the power sources were missing, she let loose a wind unlike any that has ever blown across the Plains before or since.

  The Flugs, after experiencing the Wind Hag's wrath, were really wishing they could have gone with Glop and Goop. They never once realized that they weren't actually Flugs.

  ~~~~~~~