An Accidental Pirate, The Adventures of Captain Pigtail McQueue

by J.A. Sprouls

  Chapter 32

  The girls each had their ghosts flying low to the ground so that they wouldn't be seen too soon. It would be a dead giveaway to the location of the hideout. Once they got the ghosts far enough away from the hideout they had them 'hide' behind some rocks waiting for the Flugs and the Wind Hag to appear. As they came ever closer the girls were waiting with great anticipation. This was going to be so much fun, they thought.

  "You know, Pill, this is kinda like playing," Tally was telling her. "It's called 'playing a practical joke on someone.' It can be really funny if they react right. I remember the time Wicket played a joke on me. I was getting ready to wash the deck when Wicket told me that they called it the 'poop deck.' I asked him why and then all of a sudden the captain's parrot piddled on top of my head. I didn't think it was funny at the time but looking back on it it was really funny."

  "I'm thinking the Flugs and the Wind Hag aren't gonna think this is all that funny, myself,"

  Pill said softly.

  "No, I'm pretty sure she won't. But we will certainly be laughing at them. And they say a world without laughter is a very sad world, indeed," Tally tried to cheer her up.

  Pigtail gave the girls a little wave and told them to get ready as the Flugs were almost to the proper point. A few minutes later Pigtail gave the signal and the girls concentrated on making the ghost come up out of the rocks and fly at the Flugs.

  Standing frozen in one spot the Flugs were petrified at the sight of the ghosts. Some fell to the ground in a kneeling position in order to pay tribute to the ghosts in hopes that they would be spared. Others just simply were too terrified to move.

  Pigtail, who had been watching all this through his telescope was disappointed that they weren't moving anywhere.

  "They're just standing there frozen in terror, so now what?" Pigtail asked the others.

  "I know, hey Jethro, remember what those two Flugs told us down under about water. Why don't we drench them? That way they can't move and they can't come and get us."

  "Great idea, Wicket, the only problem is there is no water in these parts. It's drier than dirt here. That's why not too many people want to settle down here. You'd have to be totally nuts to live in an area without too much water," Jethro explained to them.

  "Actually, that's not totally true." A small voice came from behind the water pitcher on the table behind where the others were standing. It was Piteque, he apparently hadn't followed his families lead and left before the trouble began.

  "Piteque, what the heck are you doing here." Pigtail was obviously not too happy to see him.

  "I'm not a coward like the rest of my family. I told ya I would help so I'm gonna live up to my word. Now there's a spring not too far from here and it feeds into an underground well. But it's not too underground, if you get my meaning. I think the girls could use their power sources to move the water and dump it on the Flugs. Then all you would have to contend with is the Wind Hag," Piteque explained.

  "Okay, Pill you keep your ghost hovering around the Flugs to keep them frozen in place. Lark you go with Piteque and see if you can move any of that water in a sizable amount. If you can, then get enough to soak the Flugs, got it?" Pigtail ordered them.

  Lark saluted the others and ran after Piteque who had taken off for the spring the second Pigtail gave his okay. As soon as the two reached the well area Lark concentrated really hard on making the water rise up. It wasn't as easy as it looked.

  Meanwhile, the Flugs remained frozen and the Wind Hag just stared at them in disgust. She then jumped off her chair and and started to march in the direction that she had seen some movement a few minutes before.

  "Um, guys, the Wind Hag is headed this way. What are we gonna do about her? We can't drench her like the Flugs and stop her." Wicket said as he looked through the binoculars as the little mean broad headed their way.

  They all just stared at one another and shrugged in unison. They hadn't given much thought as to what to do with the Wind Hag if they ended up having a faceoff with her.

  "Guys, she doesn't have the power sources anymore. So she doesn’t have any power. We could all gang up on her and tie her up, no problem," Pill told them in a rather exasperated tone. She thought to herself that they really weren't all that swift in pressure situations.

  It was about this time that Lark had finally figured out how to move the water. She just had to imagine a big hand scooping up the water and carrying it around. She set all her thoughts on scooping up as much as possible and then taking it over to the Flugs. Once she managed to do that she just imagined that the hand dropped the water and sure enough a cascade of water soaked all the Flugs and they just seemed to all turn into one giant mud puddle. Then a thought occurred to her and so she imaged her giant hand again, this time scooping up the mud made by the soaked Flugs and carrying it away from where they were. She tried to envision in her mind the location of the Flugs' headquarters and once that was secured in her mind then the mud Flugs were taken there and dumped unceremoniously on their own doormat.

  Once the threat of the Flugs was removed she and Piteque headed back to the hideout. They made it there just about the time the Wind Hag did.

  "Okay, you stupid humans, I want my power sources back and I mean now!" She stood there with her hands on her hips, glaring at the pirates.

  "Now the way I see it, we have the power sources so you're not in any position to stand there and demand anything," Pigtail matched her glare for glare.

  "Don't you ninnys get it? The power sources are mine for a reason. I don't abuse it; I use it to help and control things. If I didn't then you have a weather cycle that would be horrendous. Every spring there would be wild uncontrolled winds, the winter time would so unpredictable that you would never know when or if it was gonna snow, rain or hail. Tornados would be popping up all over the place. Now is that what you humans want? I need those power sources to help keep order in the weather here. That helps all the creatures that live here and that's the type of life that they have come to know. You will totally upset the balance of things if you don't give them back to me. Is that what you want?" She was glaring so hard at Pigtail now that her eyes were bugging out almost to the point of popping.

  "You don't abuse it, my foot. You control the population here through fear and bullying. You do things that suit you and to heck with anyone else. If you had just let us go back to the Gulf then all this could have been avoided, but nooo, you didn't do that, did you? You had to prove who was in charge, well, newsflash; you're not in charge anymore." Pigtail rather enjoyed yelling at her.

  "If you don't give them back to me now you'll regret it, I promise you that." She shook her little fist at him and he laughed at her.

  "You have abused your power and subjugated the creatures of the area to do your bidding. Well, no more, that time is over and the creatures here are free to do as they please."

  "They like serving me, they think it is an honor. Their whole society has been based on serving me for too many years for them to remember what it was like before I came along. You're dooming them to a life of wandering around and trying to find a purpose in life. And let's face it, these creatures are too dumb to figure out any type of purpose other than serving me," She was turning really red by this time.

  "I think you're not giving us enough credit, you old crone," Piteque told her in a rather soft voice. "We all remember how life was before you. And I can guarantee you it was a darn sight better than it is now. We have had no life under your rule, but now we have a chance, now we can move on and do the things we want to do because we want to and not because you have ordered us to," Piteque was still talking in a soft low voice that captivated whoever was listening to him.

  "He's got that right you old hag, and no, that's not a compliment, you wart on the face of this earth," Orida came up behind Piteque and was shaking her tiny branch fist at the Wind Hag.

  "Ma, what the heck are you doing here? I thought you went back with the others?"

 
; "I did, until I noticed you weren't with us. I knew you were gonna keep your word to these humans and help them. I blame myself, if I hadn't taught you that honor was so important you would have been like the others and just fled to safety, but nooo, you had to do the honorable thing. And in doing that, it meant I had to come and protect my baby boy. So here I am." She gave him a slight smile and then a big hug.

  "Gee, ma, it ain't your fault. I just happened to listen to what you were telling me as I grew up. If I had been more like my brothers and ignored you, then I wouldn’t have felt the need to come back here," Piteque told her.

  "Yeah, yeah, yeah, in case you haven't noticed, you little bent twigs, this is the climactic moment and we don't need any of your sentimental dregs mucking things up. I mean, we had some mighty nice tension going on here but then in saunters your ma and bing, bang, boom, the tension has been sucked away. Jeesh, don't you two know anything about climaxes?" The Wind Hag was obviously rather put out that her flow was broken.

  "Actually, I think it is fitting that your climax has been interrupted. Because there isn't gonna be any climax. All there is going to be is you turning around and walking away, powerless and unable to bully. So bye and good riddance, may you have a miserable rest of your life." Pigtail waved at her and turned his back on her and walked over to the others.

  The Wind Hag glared at him for a full minute before she turned around and started to walk away. The pirates all started to congratulate each other when there was a sudden roar and the Wind Hag was barreling down on them with her hands in the air and her fingernails bared.

  Wicket and Tally simply reacted without thinking and tackled the Wind Hag just before she got to Pigtail. They had the rope looped around her body multiple times and were about to tie her up when Tally asked Wicket, "So, how about a granny knot? I mean she is old enough to be someone's granny, so it would be a fitting knot to do."

  "I've heard of one knot called the 'monkey's fist' and I think that would be perfect because she looks like a monkey to me." Wicket countered.

  "Naw, if you've just heard of it then you have no idea how to tie it. Now what good is a knot is that if you can't tie it? Now I can tie a granny knot so I think that would be the best one to go with," Tally tried to inject a little logic into the decision process.

  "How about a water knot? After all, the Flugs were defeated with water so that would be a fitting tribute to their demise," Wicket asked.

  "Naw, we aren't near enough water to go with that type of knot, so that lets out the midshipman's knot and the reef knot so don't go trying to suggest those types of knots next," Tally said defensively. He was getting tired of everyone not giving the granny knot its due and never wanting to use it.

  "Hey, I know what knot we should use, the constrictor knot, because we are trying to constrict her movement. So that's the perfect knot to use," Wicket declared triumphantly.

  "Yeah, that would be perfect if you knew how to tie that particular knot but you don't, now do ya?" Tally retorted.

  "So, it's still the best knot to use and you can't deny it, now can you?" Wicket was smug in his victory.

  "It's not the best knot to use if you can't tie it. That's because we can't actually use it, now can we?" Tally was starting to get mad now.

  "Actually, fellas, I know how to tie that particular knot. So if you'll just let me show you how then we can be finished with the Wind Hag and get her out of our lives," Lark offered.

  "Yeah, she would be out of your lives but we would still have to deal with her," Piteque pointed out.

  "No we wouldn't, we just leave her here tied up and just let her die, then she's not our problem anymore," Orida told Piteque.

  "Ma, we can't go and do something like that. That would just the same as killing her right here and now, and I ain't willing to do that," Piteque crossed his arms as he told her this.

  His mother sighed and said, "Now see, you're going and doing the honorable thing again. Where did I go wrong in your upbringing, where you went and actually listened to me?"

  "I have a solution. How about we tie her up and then send her as far away as we can from this area. That way, she can be someone else's problem and not yours," Jethro asked them.

  "That's a pretty good idea but where would we send her?" Orida asked.

  "Now, Ma, do we really want to foist her onto some other unsuspecting people? That doesn’t seem like a really nice thing to do, now does it?" Piteque asked.

  "Piteque, there is a time and place for compassion. Though I guess since she never showed us or any of the other creatures any compassion then we should do the honorable thing. I happen to know that there is a wagon train going through the mountains west of here. We'll have Lark think about that location and send the Wind Hag there. The wagon train will pick her up and probably take her onward with them to the coast. That is if she's nice to them. If not, they are liable to leave her there to rot. So basically, she will be forced to be nice in order to survive and so whoever ends up with her will have a nice Wind Hag and not the evil surly one you've come to know and hate. And if she isn't nice to them then they will just leave her to die and that would be her own choice from that point on because she would have chosen not to be nice." Jethro explained to Piteque and the others.

  "I suppose that would be okay, that way she would be in charge of her own destiny and we would have washed our branches of her. Okay, you can do that," Piteque told Jethro.

  With that decided Lark closed her eyes and concentrated with all her effort to send the Wind Hag to the trail where this particular wagon train was headed. That way they would be sure to find her. There was a sudden popping noise and the Wind Hag had disappeared.

  The pirates thanked Piteque for saving the day and for doing the honorable thing of returning to help them as the Flugs had approached. They gave him and his mother all the honey they had left and reminded them to be sure and pick up the honey left by the trading post. So Piteque and his mother left, weighed down by the honey but very happy and satisfied with a job well done.

  "So now what? Do the girls get up a wind to fly us back to the Gulf or what?" Pigtail asked the others.

  "I don't know about the rest of you, but I'm pretty sure I don't want to fly ever again. How about we go with the plan of having the girls produce enough wind that we can travel back there on land with our land ship. It wouldn't be so bad and we could consider it a little vacation," Wicket suggested.

  The others agreed and so the next morning they set out by way of land towards the Gulf. The girls were at the bow of the ship producing just enough wind to get them moving but not too much to make it a bumpy ride.

  Pigtail stood at the helm steering and following Jethro's directions as he studied the compass.

  Wicket and Tally were huddled together trying to figure out what they were going to do with all their gold. Tally felt it would be money well spent if they invested in taking some knot tying lessons.

  Wicket's response, "We have enough money now, we can hire someone to tie our knots.

  But Tally persisted explaining, "Yeah, but we might get into some type of situation that would require knot tying skills so I think we should invest in the lessons. They shouldn't cost too much. Stop being cheap, we're richer now than we ever will be again."

  "Actually, we could always come back for our share of the buried treasure," Wicket pointed out to Tally.

  "Yeah, but that won't be for a good while. So let's just think of today and let tomorrow take care of itself," Tally told him.

  "Why, Tally, I do believe you have the heart of a poet," Lark told him.

  "Yeah, but that don't pay the bills, now does it?" He laughed but was secretly pleased with what she had said about him. After all, no one ever told Wicket he had the heart of a poet.

  Elsewhere, in the snowy mountains of Utah, the Wind Hag struggles against her bonds. Suddenly a wagon comes up on her. The wagon master just barely stops the horses in time to keep them from hitting her.

  "Hey there little
lady, what the heck happened to you?" The wagon master asked her.

  Remembering what Jethro had said about being nice she told them an elaborate story of robbers and being shanghaied. She told how her kidnappers tied her up and put her in the back of their wagon but she had managed to escape them by rolling out of the back of the wagon. That was how she had ended up in the middle of the trail.

  The wagon master, being a compassionate man, felt it would be proper to take the little lady into the wagon train. But the decision wasn’t his to make. That belonged to the man who hired him to take the wagon train west. So he turned to the tall thin man and asked if they could help her.

  "Sir, how about we show some compassion on the little gal. Winters coming and it's gonna be darn cold pretty soon. She'll never make it on her own," the wagon master explained.

  The man agreed saying, "I've always liked a hefty gal with a little meat on her." And so the Wind Hag was allowed to travel with the wagon train.

  "I really can't thank you enough for your kindness," she told the wagon master.

  "Shoot, you don't need to thank me; the one you need to be thanking is Mr. Donnor."

  ~~~~~

  Epilogue

  Wicket decided, in the end, that his idea for a sushi restaurant was the best idea of the coming thing, so he opened up a restaurant in New Orleans. Tally joined him after much arguing and convincing by Wicket. To this day their offspring still manage the Golden Knot Sushi Bar and Seafood Restaurant.

  Pigtail, wanting to get away from the sea and the life of a pirate, ended up investing in numerous railroads and earned enough to settle down to a nice, quiet life of a gentleman. He does visit the Golden Knot and his friends from time to time.

  Pill hired someone to look for her father but as of yet hasn't had any luck finding him. But she keeps on hoping she will one of these days. She lives with Jethro and Lark on a farm in the hill country of Texas. They raise cattle and chickens. Instead of cowboys or dogs to help round up the cattle they use Spring and Zephyr to round them up. The horny toads are so intimidating the cattle wouldn't dare go against them.

  Ketzial and Valiant fell in love and decided to stay in West Texas. They are spotted from time to time, thus creating the legend of the Giant Horny Toad. Even to this day, the search for the Giant Horny Toads causes Cryptozoologist to travel to the region in an attempt to find evidence of the elusive creatures and to gain fame. As of yet, they have found no proof of their existence.

  To this day, without the Wind Hag and her power sources to maintain control over it, the weather is very unpredictable in West Texas and the winds of spring blow uncontrolled, creating storms that coat any and everything in their path with a fine coat of dust.

  ~~~~~~

  The End

  About the Author:

  J.A. Sprouls lives in the beautiful and rather flat Rollin' Plains of Texas. As a former antique dealer whose business tanked along with the rest of the country's economy she had to go out and get a real job. Writing, for her, has become a way to wind down after a long day's work and escape reality for just a short while. She is currently working on her next novel.

  My Grandfather Is One Heck of a Mummy

  https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/22897

  Mace of Spades

  https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/43569

  Kamikaze Pigs

  https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/97712

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