Find Me

by Laurelin Paige

  “Can you take more?” He sounded both patient and eager at the same time.

  And I’d wanted to give him this—all of this—so I took a deep breath and let it out slowly, sinking all the way down as I did.

  “Oh my God.” I closed my eyes and didn’t move, but I could feel him throbbing inside me, and it was so fucking amazing. “Oh God.”

  “Gwen?”

  I opened my eyes and found his expression labored and concerned. “It’s good,” I assured him. “It’s really, really good.”

  His face relaxed and a smile slid onto his lips. “You feel incredible. So tight.” He lowered his mouth to one of my breasts and sucked a nipple in his mouth, pulling it just enough to make me wriggle.

  “Ah!” The slight movement had sent shockwaves through my limbs, lighting me up like a firework. The sensation diminished as soon as I stilled. And it had been so good I wanted it back as soon as fucking possible. So I began to move.

  I rode JC much slower than he usually rode me, bobbing up and down at such a gentle pace that I was positive he was going crazy. But I was going crazy too, my entire body vibrating more with each stroke. I felt wonderfully dizzy, and I put my hands on his shoulders to keep my balance.

  JC ran his hands all over me—down the sides of my torso, up over my breasts, lower to graze against my pussy. He was desperate for me. The power I had over him added to the pleasure, and pretty soon I was nearing climax.

  Before I could get there, JC leaned in toward my ear. “Are you used to it now?” he asked huskily, his breath tickling my lobe.

  “Uh huh.”

  “Good,” he growled. “Because now you’re going to get on all fours on the bed so I can fuck you like I want to.”

  I came to a halt, frozen by a cocktail of apprehension and desire. JC liked to pound—was I ready for that? On the other hand, while I’d thought I’d been aroused before, his sultry threat was pure magic, turning me on so much that I couldn’t think or breathe.

  “Gwen.” With one stern syllable, he reminded me who was in charge. Reminded me who I wanted to be in charge.

  I climbed off him, hastily, and scurried to the mattress, getting into the position he’d requested. Behind me, I heard him get up. Then he was standing next to the bed. He put a hand on each hip and tugged me to the edge of the bed.

  God, oh god, oh god.

  He was going to stay standing to fuck me. That meant he’d have the strength of his legs to thrust. Adrenaline pumped through my veins.

  Yeah, this was going to be good.

  Once he had me where he wanted me, he smacked his palm across one cheek. I jumped at the sting, surprised to find that the slap made me even wetter. He moved in close, and I could feel his thighs pressed against the back of mine. He drew his cock along my pussy, landing at my backmost hole.

  “That over there,” he said, his voice raw, “was what you gave me. The rest I’m going to take.” Then, with his fingers gripping my hipbones, he nudged in to the hilt. And he took.

  Though I’d been warmed up, his hasty entrance burned, but the bite of discomfort blurred quickly with the electrifying ecstasy that devoured me as he lost himself in a manic frenzy of thrusts. Low grunts punctuated each stroke, and his fingers pinched my skin, and the unevenness of his rapid rhythm told me that he’d lost control.

  Maybe I should have been worried. But, Jesus, it was the hottest thing he’d ever done to me.

  And, fuck, did it take me where I wanted to go. Within seconds, I was there, coming and coming, long and hard, my body undulating and shuddering as JC once again claimed me as his. Rainbows streaked in front of my eyes, tears ran down my face, a constant string of nonsensical syllables tumbled from my mouth, and even I wasn’t quite sure whether or not I was in pain or rapture.

  Both. It was both. Not pain because he’d hurt me physically, but pain because the euphoria was so overwhelming that it almost became a burden.

  I was still skyrocketing when he caught his own release. He rocked into me then stilled, letting out a ragged, drawn-out cry that sounded to me like a shout of victory.

  I collapsed and he fell onto the mattress beside me, both of us completely shattered. My brain was mush, and I was ready to let sleep consume me without cleaning up or even moving under the sheets.

  But JC stretched his hand out to caress my back. “Are you okay?” he asked, and whether it was tentative or simply weak from exhaustion, I wasn’t sure.

  I turned my head toward him. “I’m more than okay. I’m yours.”

  His smile was subtle, but it lit up his entire face. With some hidden reserve of energy, he gathered me into his arms. “Then I have everything,” he said softly, and that was the last thing I was conscious of before falling into a deep and dreamless sleep.

  Chapter Eighteen

  When I woke that evening, JC wasn’t in bed. I threw a robe on and found him wearing only jeans, pacing in the living room while he talked on the phone. He saw me immediately, and his expression grew weary.

  I tensed with a horrible sense of déjà vu.

  “Yep,” he said. “I know. I know. I’ll do what I need to, don’t worry.” He clicked the phone off then tossed it onto the couch before coming to me.

  “What was that about?” I asked as he wrapped his arms around me.

  He kissed my nose. “Nothing for you to worry about.”

  His mouth moved to cover mine, but I dodged him. “No, not this again. The last time you got a bad phone call and told me nothing, you started talking crazy with marriage proposals.”

  His hands tightened at my waist. “Really, how crazy was it? Because look at your finger now.”

  I pushed out of his arms. “And you aren’t charming your way out of this either, JC. I want to know what’s going on. We can’t build a life together on secrets. If I’m yours, you have to be mine too. That means I deserve to know.”

  He lowered his head and sighed. “I know you do.”

  “So quit with the stalling and tell me already.” Every second that he waited, the more my imagination spun with possibilities. Was it the baby? Or his work? More likely it had something to do with Dom and the reasons why I’d seen him lately. I’d wanted to get this out in the open anyway, but the look on JC’s face made me terrified to find out more.

  He smiled, but it felt insincere. “I’m going to tell you.” Gently, he gripped my shoulders. “First, I want you to repeat after me, ‘There is no reason to freak out. Everything’s going to be fine. JC’s going to handle it.’”

  My instinct was to pull away, but instead I cupped his face with my palms. “Whatever it is, we’re going to handle it. Together. And I’m not promising that I won’t freak out until I hear what it is.” I dropped my hands. “Now tell me!”

  He hesitated. “That was Jeffrey Hines,” he nodded toward his phone, “the prosecuting lawyer from the trial. He was the one who called while we were at the doctor’s earlier.”

  The call that had been followed by a text that had obviously bothered him. “And?”

  “He wanted me to know that the judge declared a mistrial. By tomorrow morning, Ralphio Mennezzo will be released from jail.”

  ***

  JC spent the next hour on phone calls, and an hour after that, Norma was leading us to a conference room at Pierce Industries. It was almost nine on a Friday night, so the building was dark and practically empty.

  Norma unlocked a door, opened it and turned on the lights, revealing a long rectangular table surrounded by chairs. “Will this do?”

  “It’s perfect.” JC brushed past me and took a seat at the head of the table in the chair that I assumed was normally reserved for Hudson. I was pretty sure that taking the seat of command was JC’s way of feeling in control. While he’d been focused and alert all evening at the condo, it had been the most anxious I’d ever seen him.

  And that made me more worried than I’d thought possible.

  I put a hand on my sister’s arm, posing it as a gesture of gratitude when I rea
lly needed the support. “Thank you for arranging this, Norma.” JC’s people—whoever they were—thought it would be best to meet somewhere that neither of us were directly tied to. Pierce Industries was the best we could come up with on short notice.

  “Of course. It wasn’t any trouble at all. Do you know why the trial was thrown out?”

  “They discovered that one of the jurors was connected to one of the other witnesses who’d been murdered. Steve Stockbridge’s lover—Greg Thompson. The defense believes the juror was paid to make sure the trial went in the prosecution’s favor.”

  Norma’s forehead tightened. “That’s awful.”

  “I know. And now Mennezzo is free on bail until a new trial can be set up.” I shivered at the thought of the man who’d killed Corinne—the man who wanted JC dead—back on the streets.

  “Don’t worry yet,” Norma said in her big sister tone. “Wait and see what the authorities say.”

  It was good advice, but I was pretty certain I already knew what they’d say. Still, I nodded. “I’ll give you a recap tomorrow.”

  “Oh, I’m not going anywhere. I can’t just leave a room full of people who aren’t employed here to run amuck.” Norma knew as much about the situation as I did, which meant she also knew that this wasn’t the type of meeting where people would run amuck.

  “I’m not even sure you’re allowed to be here, Sissy. I’ll come by your office after so you can lock up.”

  “If they want the use of my building, they’re going to have to accept it on my terms.” It was almost cute how she called it her building. “So I’ll just stay here, if you don’t mind.”

  She would be difficult when it came time to make hard choices. I didn’t want her there. “It doesn’t matter if I do mind, does it?”

  “No,” she grinned. “I don’t believe it does.”

  With a defeated sigh, I headed to take a seat next to JC. Just then, a dozen men entered the room, half wearing black suits and ties, the rest in plain clothes. Dom was there in a T-shirt and jeans, but he was the only one I recognized.

  JC stood to greet one of the suited men. “You got in okay?” he asked as he shook the hand of one of them.

  “You can pretty much get in anywhere when you flash the right badge,” the man answered.

  As the rest of the group claimed seats around the table, JC introduced me to the one he’d been talking to. “Gwen, this is Andrew Tate. He’s the man in charge of the witness protection program.”

  “Well, I’m in charge of your case anyway.” Andrew turned to offer me his hand. His grip was firm yet gentle at the same time. “I’d say that it was good to meet you, Gwen, but I’d hoped it would never be necessary.”

  “And now it is?” My voice was shaky.

  “Now it might be. We’ll get there. May we sit?”

  I sat down and leaned over to JC. “I thought that Dom was in charge of your case.”

  Though I’d kept my words low, JC answered so that everyone could hear. “Dom is one of my bodyguards. I was nervous about the protection program so I abandoned it in Las Vegas and relied on my own team to hide me instead. They worked closely with Drew’s division.”

  “You were nervous about a program run by the FBI?” I knew JC liked to be in charge, but I hadn’t known he’d been so intent on it that he’d brush aside the help of the experts.

  Andrew chimed in before JC could answer. “Actually, I’m not with the FBI. They usually only step in when a case involves organized crime. There are few states that have their own witness protection program, but New York happens to be one of them. That’s us. When we realized that JC was in danger, and that he was the single key witness remaining in the case against Mennezzo, we offered him a place in our program.”

  I addressed my next question to Drew directly. “Are state level programs not as secure?”

  He glanced over the other men in suits. “We certainly endeavor to be, but we obviously don’t have the manpower of the FBI or the US Marshals. However, I believe Justin’s decision not to use us was based as much in his desire for autonomy than it was in a fear for his safety.”

  I glared at JC.

  He didn’t seem at all apologetic. “I wouldn’t have been able to stay in touch with my detectives.”

  “The detectives that you hired to look after me, you mean. You put yourself at risk just so that you could know where I was? What the hell, Justin?” I’d wanted to keep my emotions in check as much as possible during this meeting, but I couldn’t hide my anger. I’d wanted to know where he was when he’d been in hiding too. It didn’t mean he should put his life on the line.

  “It wasn’t just you I was keeping tabs on. But, yes.”

  “Who else did you need to spy on?”

  JC exchanged a glance with Norma, and I imagined they were both commiserating over my stubbornness. “Can we save that for later? I promise I’ll tell you. It’s just not relevant at the moment.”

  “By all means, leave all your confessions until they’re relevant.” It was snotty, but for once, I felt I had the right to an attitude. “Whatever. The past is past. Can someone tell me what happens now that Mennezzo is going to be free?”

  Everyone looked to JC. He didn’t answer.

  “That depends on what he decides,” Drew said after a beat. “We’re offering the same protection we did before. The team here is ready to escort JC to a safe place the minute he gives the word.”

  Those are the men in suits, I reasoned out. The other men were most likely hired by JC.

  “To escort you, as well, Gwen,” Drew added. “I’m told you’re expecting?”

  JC must have told him before I’d walked in on his phone conversation. “Yes. I am.”

  “You’re pregnant?” Norma had been impressively silent during the meeting so far. It figured that this would be the thing that got her attention.

  I ignored her, keeping my focus on Drew. “Is that a problem?”

  He shook his head. “We can certainly get you set up with new doctors, but I can understand why you might not want to relocate during a pregnancy.”

  I slammed my fist on the table. “I wouldn’t want to relocate if I wasn’t pregnant. I’m asking, do we have to?”

  Drew cleared his throat. “It’s my recommendation. Taking us up on our services, though, is always a matter of personal choice.”

  His recommendation. The expert on the matter recommended that we pick up our lives and disappear. My job, my friends, my family…our wedding! Did we just abandon all the planning and get hitched in front of a justice of the peace?

  I wanted to cry.

  JC swiveled his chair, directing his words to me alone. “We can rely on Dom’s team. He’s been watching us since I got back, and they’re very well trained. We have no reason to assume that Ralphio will try to go after me now that my testimony has been heard.”

  “But that testimony doesn’t count. It’s a mistrial. You’re back at square one. If he gets rid of you, then he’s free forever. Right?” A glance at Drew confirmed my words.

  But now there was something else that JC had said that was bothersome. “And what do you mean they’ve been watching us since you got back? Were you worried about our safety even with Mennezzo in jail?”

  When it was clear I wasn’t going to get answers from JC, I turned back to Drew. “Have we been in danger this whole time?” Because if so, then my anger was about to escalate to full-blown rage.

  “While Ralphio Mennezzo has not been tied to any other criminals, there is strong reason to believe that the other witnesses were taken out by a third party.”

  Drew’s calm delivery made me doubt my interpretation of his words. “Meaning he could have hired someone to take JC out, even from behind bars?”

  “Yes.”

  I was wrong. I wasn’t raging. I was panicked. My heart was thudding in my chest, my hands were clammy, my mouth was dry, and all I could think was how fast can we get out of here? How soon can we be safe?

  Somehow I man
aged to stay seated when I really wanted to be up and moving. “What do we have to do? Can we pack some things, or do we need to just disappear?”

  “If you decide to go,” Drew said, “we’d want to leave as soon as possible. We’d like as much time to get you far away before Ralphio’s released.”

  “Of course.” I was too frightened to disagree. What did it matter if I didn’t get to hug Ben before I left as long as I’d get to hug him one day in the future?

  My mind was already letting go of my material things. The plans we’d made would be harder, but as long as I had JC and the baby, what else did I really need?

  Except JC had other ideas. “We aren’t going anywhere, Gwen.”

  I spun toward him with blazing determination. “You’re not going without me. Not this time.” I’d chosen not to go with him before, and it wasn’t a choice I’d ever repeat.

  He shook his head, and I was already preparing to argue further when he said, “Neither of us is going anywhere. We aren’t going to be pushed out of our lives.”

  “How can you be so flipping obstinate?”

  JC sat forward. “This isn’t me being stubborn, Gwen. I don’t believe Ralphio will do anything. He’s got too many eyes on him. Before, he was acting in the dark. He could commission hit men without notice, but now no one wants to work with him. His connections have cut him off. They won’t touch a wanted man. And what good is it to Ralphio if he walks away from Corinne’s murder and ends up in jail for mine? He’s too smart for that.” He leaned back in his chair. “The detectives I had watching him while I was gone saw nothing to indicate that he’s still interested in silencing me. We’re not going.”

  JC’s speech came with conviction. I wanted to buy into it.

  I didn’t. “That’s mighty confident considering it could mean your life if you’re wrong. Unfortunately, I’m not that ballsy. We’ll take the protection.”

  “I said no. I’m not going anywhere.” JC stood, signaling an end to the meeting. “Thank you, Andrew, for the offer. I appreciated it before, and I appreciate it now, but I’m not interested in running.”