Copper Creek: The Complete Boxed Set

by Smith, Wendy

  “You did well. Adam’s doing a great job there,” Corey teases. I’m a little envious of the ease between them, the affection. I need to stop it. It’s my own fault they’ve developed a family-like relationship without me.

  I spoon peas onto the plates and retrieve a couple of knives and forks from the drawer.

  “Ladies first,” I say as I place Lily’s plate in front of her.

  I make my way around the table, and slip Corey’s plate down. “Like I said, ladies first.”

  “You haven’t stopped being a smartarse,” he says.

  “Not where you’re concerned.”

  “Guess I have to stop flirting with your girl, then.”

  I grab my plate and cutlery and turn back to the table. “It’d be a good idea.”

  He grins as I sit down. “It’s good to have you back home. We’ve got a lot of catching up to do.”

  I nod. “I know. I got vague directions to your place, but wasn’t quite sure where it was.”

  He grins. “Up McKenzie’s Mountain. Just past that cult place.”

  “Is that still there?”

  “Yep. Somehow they haven’t run out of virgins to sacrifice or whatever it is they do.”

  Lily snorts with laughter. “Mum used to do some sewing work for them. They didn’t seem that bad.”

  Corey shrugs. “I dunno. They seem harmless, but you gotta wonder what’s going on behind those gates. All of the farmers up that way need pest control, but not them. They’re really cautious about who they let on their property.”

  “So, not going to see them to pick a wife?” I laugh as he taps my forehead with the back of his fork.

  “You know me, Bro. I’m too much of a player to settle down.”

  Lily meets my gaze with an amused expression on her face, and the pair of us burst out laughing. Corey was always the one who might move from girl to girl, but he was the kind of guy who when he finally fell, he’d fall hard. At least he had been at the age of nineteen, the last time I saw him.

  “Sure. You and the possums. I bet you have a lot of girlfriends.” I smile innocently at him.

  He rolls his eyes. “I mean it. I’ll never have anything as perfect as you and Lily do. All those years apart and here you are having sex on the rug in the middle of the day?”

  We both look at Lily. Her skin slowly goes a shade of dark pink, but all she does is shake her head and laugh.

  Corey shoots glances between us. “Nothing’s changed, has it? Not really. It’s like you two have never been separated.”

  Lily reaches for my hand and squeezes.

  Life is so good.

  When dinner’s over and the dishes have been done, we walk Corey out. He kisses Lily on the cheek and winks at her. “Look after my brother for me. He looks like he’s been neglected. He’s such a small man.” Anyone would be in comparison to Corey.

  She laughs. “I’ll look after him if he looks after me.”

  He nods. “That sounds fair.”

  We step out the front door and into the chill of the early evening.

  “Drive safe. I’ll bring Max up to visit sometime if we can work out when you’re home,” I say.

  He grins. “Sounds good.” Gripping my hand, he shakes it. “I’m happy for you, and even happier for Lily. She toughed it out for so long, but she looks so relaxed now. Maybe having her family together was all she needed.”

  I nod. “For me too. This wasn’t at all what I expected, coming back here.”

  He smiles. “I’m glad you’re home, little brother.” Letting go of my hand, he slaps me on the shoulder.

  I watch as he drives off in his mud-covered ute, and I smile. He’s not the boy who moved here either. But he’s his own person, and I couldn’t be prouder of the man he’s become.

  The mixed emotions I feel are confusing.

  I’m glad to be home and for the way things have turned out, but the missing years still leave me aching.

  25

  Lily

  Twelve years ago

  I cry as my baby comes eight weeks early, and has just a few seconds on my chest before they whisk him away. At thirty-two weeks, he’s so small and he’ll need help. As if that wasn’t enough, the cord had wrapped around his neck during delivery. It’s like nature is doing its best to rob me of Adam’s and my child, but my baby’s much too big a fighter for that.

  We fight together.

  As I sit in the NICU with him, he kicks his legs and opens his eyes to look at me. His little face screws up as he adjusts to his new environment, and my heart already belongs to him. Adam will love him, too. I waver between being angry at him for not coming back and wanting him so badly it makes me cry. The pregnancy hormones don’t help.

  I fill the syringe with the milk I’ve expressed and place it in the feeding tube. The tube goes up his nose and down into his stomach, and it breaks me to have to feed him this way. I want to snuggle him against me and give him what he needs directly. In four short weeks, I’ve had to adapt not only to being pregnant, but to giving birth and being alone through the whole process. I haven’t bothered calling Adam’s house again. I can’t even begin to deal with that.

  Now all my focus is on this little guy. He’s the love of my life. I have to work out what’s best for him.

  “Lily?”

  I turn to see Joanna Campbell in the doorway—the last person I thought I’d ever see. We haven’t spoken since the day I called to look for Adam. Since then, my story was in the newspaper, albeit with our names suppressed.

  “Mrs Campbell.”

  For the first time I can remember, she smiles at me. From around the corner, James appears. Maybe Adam’s not here, but for two of his family to be here fills me with more hope than I can bear.

  “I thought it was time I came to see this baby.”

  “Where’s Adam?”

  Her dark eyebrows knit as she lets out a humph sound. Like she’s annoyed at me for asking. “He’s in the US. He went to stay with some friends, and now he’s enlisted in the army.”

  “The army?” That isn’t the Adam I knew. That Adam doesn’t share Corey’s love of guns. This is weird. “Really?”

  “He’s planning on making a career out of it. He’ll be training as an army mechanic.”

  Those few words crush whatever hope I had. She doesn’t have to spell out that Adam’s in it for the long haul.

  She crosses the room, peeking into the plastic hospital crib. “Boy or girl?”

  “Boy. His name is Max.”

  Her face cracks into a small smile. “How sick is he?”

  My boy is a sight with monitoring probes attached to him. I don’t know how long we’ll be in the hospital, but everyone’s taken such good care of us. He’s doing so well I think they’ll send us home soon, not that I have a home to go to.

  “He’s okay. Underweight, but that was to be expected. He’ll be smaller than other kids for some time, but eventually he’ll catch up. That’s what they told me, anyway.”

  I study her face. She’s always been so stiff with me, but as she looks down at the baby, her expression softens and she reaches out to stroke his cheek with her index finger. “He’s got Adam’s dark hair,” I say.

  “They all have dark hair when they’re born. It’ll fall out and maybe he’ll be fair like you. Who knows?”

  She almost smiles at me, and my head swims at the thought that maybe I’m winning her over. Maybe she’ll help me connect Max with his father.

  “I’m sorry Adam’s moved on. I’m sure if he didn’t have a job and a girlfriend he’d come back to visit.”

  The news Adam has a girlfriend hits me like a bowling ball to the head. “Girlfriend?”

  She nods. “He met someone when he got to the US. She sounds nice.”

  In that moment, my heart shatters into a million pieces. I thought if he found out what happened, if he knew about Max, he’d do whatever it took to be with us.

  Tears roll down my cheeks, and a small hand slips into mine as I lo
ok down at James. I don’t know how much of this he understands. He’s six. I give him a small smile. This is my son’s uncle.

  “Adam’s young. He’s not mature enough to accept responsibility for you and a baby.” Mrs Campbell shoots me a look full of sympathy.

  “I thought he’d come back,” I whisper.

  She takes a deep breath, and that holier-than-thou expression I’m so used to returns. “He’s left this life behind, Lily. I’m sorry if you’re disappointed, but he has a new life to live, and he won’t return.”

  I rub my forehead with my fingertips, trying to gather my thoughts. If I don’t change the subject, I’ll go mad. “Did you want to hold the baby?”

  “He’s so small. I’d be too afraid to hurt him.”

  I nod. “I understand.” But I don’t. If I was in her shoes, I’m sure I’d want to hold my first grandchild.

  In all of this, Max is the one who misses out. With his father turning his back on us, I’m all Max has.

  My life is his.

  * * *

  It’s not enough.

  The body blow I was dealt at finding out Adam had moved on with someone else was just the start.

  Two days after Joanna’s visit, Joseph appears at the door to my room. With Max in NICU, I’ve got a room to myself which I’ve been grateful for.

  “How’s it going?” he asks. I’ve known this guy a few weeks, and every day he’s been calm and smiling. It’s been reassuring. Now, he frowns, worry lines crossing his forehead.

  “Good. Max is doing well. What’s going on?”

  He licks his lips, a nervous expression on his face. Whatever it is, I’m not going to want to hear it. “I’ve got some bad news. I’m so sorry, Lily.”

  Behind him, two policemen enter the room, and I’m bewildered, my heart in panic over what’s to come. Is it Mum?

  “Your mother committed suicide in remand. She … well, I don’t want to get into any detail if it’s too much. There’s a note.”

  Tears flood out of me, and I bury my head in my hands.

  The woman who brought me into the world is gone, without even seeing her grandson. Before Adam came to town, I’d been so alone and for such a short time I’d had companionship with him. Love. Her illness wasn’t Mum’s fault, she couldn’t help the issues she had, and now my heart’s filled with regret for what could have been. Not just for me, but for her.

  “Can I see it?” I ask.

  Joseph nods. His face is so full of sympathy. He knows how hard it’s been. His job has been to come here and take my baby away when my toxicology results came up showing what drugs I’d been on. Instead, he’s become my biggest supporter.

  One of the policemen steps forward. “Hi, Lily. I’m Constable Dave Rigby. I’m so sorry for your loss.”

  I blink back tears. “Thank you.”

  From a folio in his hands, he produces a plastic bag. “I’m sorry, but it’s in an evidence bag. While we investigate what happened, we’ll need to hold onto it.”

  “What happened?”

  He frowns and looks down at his feet. “She hung herself with her bed sheet. They had additional guard checks for her, but she must have worked out how long until the next one. Earlier in the day she’d been allowed a pen and paper to write you a letter. She said it was an apology. She misled the guards to write this instead.”

  Oh, Mum.

  He hands the bag to me, and I take it with shaky hands. The letter only has two lines.

  I can’t do this anymore.

  I’m under too much stress.

  “That’s it?” My head spins at there being no mention of me, no goodbye for me. Nothing.

  I hand the note back to Constable Rigby, not wanting to touch it even through the plastic. For the first time in years I’m angry with my father for leaving us. For so long I understood. He couldn’t handle her the way I thought I could. But he left me to the mercy of a woman who in the end couldn’t even take care of herself, let alone me.

  They leave me alone with my thoughts, and I curl up in the hospital bed barely wanting to go on. Everyone’s left me, but I have to be strong for Max. Max Adam Parker.

  I hurt for everything I’ve lost, everything Max has lost. But I have to pull myself together. I just have to.

  When there’s a knock on the door, I bury my head under the pillow, unable to take any more. I have nothing left.

  “Lily?”

  A voice I think I recognise comes from the door, and I lift my head. The biggest lump forms in my throat when I finally see someone from my past who might just care. “Mrs Murphy?”

  My favourite teacher at primary school, the one who had nurtured my love of reading. She’s the first person who ever saw beyond me being just Mum’s daughter. The first person who truly saw me.

  Tears roll down my cheeks as she approaches. This has to be one of the worst days of my life and she’s appeared like my guardian angel.

  “I came as soon as I heard.”

  “Do you know about Mum?”

  She frowns. “I know what she did. It didn’t take much to put it all together.”

  “Mum’s dead.” I let out a sob as I say the words. I’m in a state of disbelief, unable to get my head around everything.

  “Oh, sweetheart.” From her reaction, Mrs Murphy didn’t know that bit. She reaches the end of my bed as I sit up and she reaches for me, wrapping me in her arms like a mother should.

  Mum.

  I weep for the woman who gave birth to me, the woman who raised me, the woman who struggled to keep her head above water each and every day. She loved me. I do know that much.

  “What happened?”

  “She committed suicide. There’s a note, but the police have it until they’ve finished with it. They have to investigate a death for prisoners in remand.” I sigh. “They showed me. It said she couldn’t cope anymore. Being arrested had caused her too much stress.” I look up in to Mrs Murphy’s eyes. “What am I going to do? Where am I going to go?”

  “You don’t have to worry about anything. I’m here, and there’s always room at my place.”

  “I can’t ask …”

  “Lily, you don’t have to ask. My home is open to you and your baby. Tell me about him.”

  The tears won’t let up. I am so full of love for Max despite every other thing in my life sucking. “He’s amazing. I was so scared I’d lose him, and he’s still in the NICU for observation, but he’s doing so well.” I sniff. “He looks so much like Adam.”

  “Can I see him?”

  My chest bursts with pride as I think of my little fighter. “Of course.”

  26

  Lily

  Now

  When I was a child, I had dreams. When I met Adam, I thought maybe they’d finally all come true. We had plans to go with the dreams. They weren’t much but they were ours.

  For six months, I thought I’d lost everything and couldn’t dream of anything but getting out of the hell my mother had created. Even in my darkest hours, I had to believe the bad times would end. It was one of the things that helped keep me alive.

  When I found out about Max, I had love again.

  Now, for the first time in years, I have hope.

  Hope is wonderful.

  The nights are still dark, but the days are so much brighter. The longer Max, Adam, and I are a family, the more that brightness spills into the dark, eating away at it little by little. Maybe one day it’ll all be gone.

  All I know is that after those first weeks, I haven’t slept so well in years.

  I lie in bed, my limbs entangled with Adam’s. Life has gone on as normal since his return, but my heart is so much lighter.

  “What do you dream of?” he asks. I didn’t think he’d noticed me waking in the night past that first time, but clearly he has. There’s only one thing I can do. Be honest.

  “Mum. The house. Max.”

  His eyes are so sad. I know he wants to take all the bad dreams away, but I don’t know if anything will ever do that
completely.

  Adam nuzzles my cheek. He brings me more comfort than I can say.

  “I dream about when I got out, when I was in hospital. There was a case worker assigned to me, you know, because they got my toxicology results and thought I was taking drugs. It wasn’t until I woke up that I told them what happened. My case worker was ready to take Max.” Even now the thought that anyone would think I’d do anything to hurt my baby stings. From the moment I knew about Max, he was my focus, no matter what else was going on in my life. Twelve years on, nothing has changed in that regard.

  “Take Max? Into care?”

  I nod and understand the pain that sweeps his face, the hurt in his eyes.

  “When he realised the truth, he helped me instead. I don’t know what I would have done without Mrs Murphy, though. She was like my guardian angel.”

  He smiles. “She always did have a soft spot for you.”

  “She used to pack some extra lunch so she could help me out when Mum forgot mine.” I snuggle in to his chest. “Before you arrived.”

  His arms are so warm and comforting around me. I never want to leave them. I never want him to leave.

  These past weeks have meant so much, but I retain the feeling of being on a precipice, so close to falling if he goes. He has a life far away from here.

  “Lily?”

  My eyes meet his. “Sorry?”

  “Where were you? There are times when I know I lose you.”

  I shake my head. “Nowhere important.” Stroking his chest, I sigh. “Do you ever think about your home?”

  “What are you talking about?”

  “Where you lived before you came back.”

  He sighs. “I lived in an apartment when I wasn’t deployed or travelling.”

  “Do you miss it?”

  The corners of his mouth curl a little. “I’d much rather be here with you.”

  Whenever he says things like that my stomach flips like a gymnast at the Olympics. He says all the right things, does all the right things, but after all I’ve been through, I’m still terrified.