Tigerheart's Shadow

by Erin Hunter

“Ivypool barely talks to me these days. I think she suspects I’m seeing you.” She stared at the ground, her eyes full of sadness. Alarm rippled through Tigerheart’s pelt, and his breath quickened. How could they hide their relationship now? What would this secret do to ShadowClan? It was already so fragile. Cats were bound to take sides in a scandal like this. And the fallout might destroy the uneasy peace that had passed for unity since the rogues had left.

  He saw the expectation in Dovewing’s gaze shrink to disappointment as he stared at her wordlessly. His thoughts were spinning, but he had no idea what to say.

  She looked away. “This makes things so much harder, doesn’t it?”

  Tigerheart shook his head. Having kits with Dovewing was something he’d dreamed of, and yet . . . “It’s bad timing, Dovewing. Our warriors are losing respect for Rowanstar. And they keep looking at me, like I’m supposed to take his place.”

  “Is that what you want?” Dovewing stared at him with wide eyes.

  Tigerheart shifted his paws, trying to find the right words. “ShadowClan is weaker than it’s ever been. They need a leader they can believe in.”

  Dovewing inhaled sharply. “And that leader has to be you?”

  “I don’t know.” Tigerheart stared at the grass beneath his feet. “I’m trying to support Rowanstar, but that might not be enough.”

  “What about me?” Dovewing’s mew caught in her throat. “What about us?”

  Tigerheart felt his heart breaking. There must be an us. I’ve struggled too long without you . . . “I love you, Dovewing. I will always love you. We can sort this out, I promise.”

  Raising his head, he cleared away the choking thoughts of Clanmates and responsibility and gazed at Dovewing. He could see her belly growing already and imagined the tiny kits inside. A purr broke from his throat. Our kits. He weaved around her, letting his purr throb through his whole body and hers. “Our kits will be beautiful and brave. They will grow into fine warriors.”

  As he spoke, hope flickered in his chest. Perhaps this was meant to be—perhaps these new kits would help restore ShadowClan to its former strength. “You can join ShadowClan with me. We could be together. There would be no more hiding or lying, and we could bring up our kits in the same Clan.” It seemed the perfect solution. His belly tingled with apprehension, but he hoped that she would be excited about raising their shared kin in the pine forest. It might take her a little while to get used to ShadowClan’s ways, but she’d be so well cared for, he knew she could be happy there.

  He knew they could be happy there.

  His thoughts were tumbling so fast over one another, he hardly felt her freeze. Only when he pressed his muzzle against her cheek did he realize that she’d become as stiff as stone.

  “I can’t do that.” She stared at the ground, defeat heavy in her gaze.

  “I know it will be hard, but Dovewing, it might be the best thing for the kits.” Tigerheart tried to catch her eye. “The best thing for us.” And for ShadowClan.

  Slowly she lifted her gaze. Fear shimmered in her eyes. “I wish I could believe that,” she began haltingly. “But . . . I’ve been having dreams.”

  “Dreams?” Tigerheart struggled to understand. Dovewing wasn’t a medicine cat. She’d lost her special powers moons ago when the Dark Forest had been beaten. “All cats have dreams.”

  “Not like these.” Dovewing’s gaze glittered unnervingly. Whatever she was about to say, she believed strongly. “These dreams mean something. I can feel it.”

  Tigerheart’s pelt prickled with alarm. “Are they . . . bad dreams?”

  “I dream of the ThunderClan nursery. I’m alone in the camp, and I’m watching the nursery from the clearing. Something feels wrong, so I go to look inside.” The fur along her spine lifted as she remembered. “It’s empty. The nests are old and tattered, and shadows are creeping from the corners. They swallow the floor and the nests. I run outside, but the shadows follow. They reach through the entrance like dark flames and lick the walls, growing darker and stronger until the whole nursery is lost in blackness.”

  As she spoke, Tigerheart felt like he could see everything she described, so clearly. He had to shake his head to chase the images out of his head. “It’s just a dream,” he told her, not sure if he believed it himself.

  Dovewing drew away. “But it’s not!” Her mew was taut with fear. “I have it again and again, and every time I do, I wake up filled with dread because I know it’s a sign.”

  Tigerheart blinked at her. The fear in her eyes was real, but he tried to tell himself it was just because she’d been worrying about this by herself for so long. She could share the worry with him now. “Have you asked Jayfeather or Alderheart about it?”

  “How could I?” Dovewing lashed her tail. “They might guess.” She glared down at her swelling flanks. “I’ve been expecting for a moon and it’s starting to show. They may have already guessed I’m expecting kits. Telling them I’m having dreams about the nursery will just confirm it!”

  Tigerheart tried to make his voice sound bright. “If a medicine cat believes that nursery dreams are normal, perhaps they are.”

  “Not like this!” Dovewing hissed.

  “Well, you could ask them if they’ve had any signs from StarClan.” Tigerheart was starting to feel exasperated. Why was Dovewing so sure her dreams were special? “Maybe they’ve had a sign that will explain your dream. They’re medicine cats, after all. You aren’t.”

  “I don’t need a medicine cat to explain my dream!” Dovewing’s eyes flashed with frustration. “I know what it means. It means our kits mustn’t be born in ThunderClan!”

  Tigerheart fluffed out his pelt eagerly. “So . . . maybe you’re meant to join ShadowClan! That’s great. I know you’ll be happy with us. Don’t worry about any cat’s reaction, either. No cat has time right now to get mad at having a ThunderClan cat in camp. And if we bring new kits, new life, to ShadowClan, then every cat will be happy, because we’ll be making ShadowClan stronger.”

  “No.” Dovewing glowered at him. “I’m not raising our kits in ShadowClan. Believe me, I’ve thought about that, and I know it’s what you want, but . . . That’s not what’s right for us either.” Tigerheart forced his pelt to smooth. Neither ThunderClan nor ShadowClan? What, then, was she thinking about?

  Dovewing’s mew was firm. “We have to leave the Clans.”

  Stunned, Tigerheart stared at her wordlessly. Leave the Clans?

  “We have to.” Dovewing dug her paws into the earth. “I’ve dreamed where we should go. A huge Twolegplace with nests that reach into the sky. I saw a roof there with sharp points that stick up into the sky like gorse spines. We must find that den. Our kits will be safe there.”

  Tigerheart’s pelt bristled with anger. “This is nonsense!” He met her gaze. “Why would our kits be safer in a strange Twolegplace? How can we raise them away from their Clans? Our Clans are what keep us all safe!”

  Dovewing narrowed her eyes. “The Clans are a mess! So many cats have died fighting for territory lately, who’s to say there will even be Clans a few moons from now?”

  “So you want us to run away?” Tigerheart could hardly believe this was happening. “You want to abandon your Clanmates? You want to bring up our kits so they never know their kin or the warrior code?”

  “No!” Desperation sharpened Dovewing’s mew. “I don’t want any of this! I just know we must go. The dreams come every night. I don’t just see them; I feel them. If I ignore what they tell me, I fear that something terrible will happen to our kits!”

  Tigerheart turned in an anxious circle, his thoughts fighting one another.

  “This isn’t a choice for me.” Dovewing’s mew hardened. “It’s what I must do.”

  Tigerheart felt sick. “I can’t just leave.”

  Dovewing’s eyes were stricken with panic. Tigerheart looked away. His forepaws twitched, as if ready to walk with her as far away from here as she wanted to go. But his hindquarters felt heavy, like they
wanted to pin him to the ground so that he could never leave ShadowClan. He yearned to be with her, but he was afraid to abandon his father when things were so terrible. It made him feel like his body might be torn in two.

  “Tigerheart!” She sounded anxious.

  He felt her breath on his cheek and forced himself to look at her.

  “I don’t want to do this without you, Tigerheart!” Her mew was shaky. “I need you.”

  “ShadowClan needs me,” Tigerheart mewed desperately. “Rowanstar can’t lead without my help. You’re right—ShadowClan’s a mess. If I leave, it may not survive.”

  “Then stay!” Dovewing’s green eyes flashed with rage. “If your Clan is more important to you than your kits, stay with them. I’m going.” She backed away from him, grief twisting her face. “My Clan can look after itself. I’m protecting my kits.”

  “Dovewing!” Desperation spiked Tigerheart’s pelt. “We’ll be better able to protect our kits if we stay with our Clans.”

  She held his gaze. “I’m leaving in three days. If you want to leave with me, meet me here. If not, I . . .” Her tail bushed, and she looked at the ground briefly. Whatever she had to tell him next seemed hard for her to say. “I will go without you.”

  Then she turned and pushed her way through the undergrowth.

  Tigerheart stared after her, his heart beating so loudly in his ears that it drowned the sound of birdsong. A gust of wind sent the mist swirling among the trees and rocked their branches. He felt dizzy. Dovewing had given him an impossible choice. She needed him. His unborn kits needed him. But so did ShadowClan. Who needs me the most?

  CHAPTER 2

  Can I leave? Should I stay?

  Two days had passed since Dovewing’s ultimatum, and still Tigerheart’s thoughts chased around his head like kittens trying to catch their own tails. He had one more day to make up his mind, but the right decision felt like a piece of prey he just could not catch. What am I going to do?

  “Tigerheart?” Grassheart’s mew shook him from his thoughts.

  He turned his gaze distractedly toward her and found the pale brown tabby blinking at him. “We’re supposed to be hunting, right?” Irritation edged her mew.

  “Yes.” Tigerheart shook out his pelt. “Sorry. I was thinking about something else.”

  “Think later. Our Clanmates are hungry.” Grassheart sniffed and cast her sharp gaze around the forest. “We need to take something back to the fresh-kill pile. Have you noticed the way Ratscar’s ribs are sticking through his pelt?”

  Guilt dropped like another stone in Tigerheart’s belly. His Clanmates were hungry. Dovewing was expecting kits. His father was struggling to regain the respect of their Clan. He should be able to fix everything, but he couldn’t even focus on catching prey.

  Snowbird’s white pelt showed between the withering ferns a few tail-lengths away. The she-cat was sniffing the pine-strewn earth. “I think I’ve picked up a rabbit trail.”

  Grassheart hurried to her side. “How fresh is it?”

  “Fresh enough.” Snowbird began to creep away from the ferns, her tail-tip twitching with excitement. As Grassheart shadowed her, Tigerheart glanced toward the SkyClan border. He could smell their scent where it marked the pines at the top of the rise. Had he made the right decision when he suggested SkyClan should take some of ShadowClan’s land? There might be more prey if they had more space to hunt. And yet how could they spare the cats needed to cover so much territory? He flicked his tail. It had been the right thing to do. SkyClan needed a home. And after all the problems the Clans had had with the rogues, maybe StarClan would look favorably on cats who spread kindness where there had been fear and mistrust. He just wished his Clanmates thought the same. But Scorchfur, Snowbird, and Stonewing had made it clear that they were not going to pretend they were content to give up land to another Clan. Tigerheart closed his eyes as fresh worries crowded his thoughts.

  Above him, thrushes sounded like they were having their own arguments over territory. A cold wind rustled the branches. Grassheart and Snowbird were out of sight now, tracking the rabbit. As Tigerheart turned to follow them, paw steps thrummed at the top of the rise.

  “Hey, Tigerheart!” Sandynose stood at the SkyClan border, Rabbitleap beside him. Their pelts were ruffled and their eyes bright. Sandynose’s flanks heaved. “The squirrels in this forest are fast!” He glanced at the trunk of the pine beside him. A tail bobbed upward and disappeared among the branches.

  Rabbitleap dipped his head politely to Tigerheart. “I hope you’re having better luck than us.”

  “Not yet,” Tigerheart mewed heavily. Did luck have anything to do with it? Perhaps if he were a better warrior, he’d be able to feed his Clan single-pawed. If he were a better son, Rowanstar wouldn’t be so overwhelmed by leadership. If he were a better mate—

  Small paws thumped the ground.

  Grassheart’s urgent mew sounded through the trees. “Prey!”

  Tigerheart stiffened as a rabbit raced past him, shooting up the rise so fast he didn’t have time to untangle himself from his thoughts and give chase. It hared across the border, a tail-length from Sandynose.

  The SkyClan tom ran after it. Pelt bristling with excitement, Rabbitleap raced after him.

  Tigerheart froze. He’d let prey fall into another Clan’s paws.

  “You mouse-brain!” Grassheart thundered to a halt beside him. “Why didn’t you catch it?”

  Snowbird caught up to them, eyes sparking with anger. “We drove it straight toward you!” She shot a look at Grassheart. “I thought Rowanstar was the unreliable one.”

  “Like father, like son,” Grassheart snorted crossly.

  “That’s not fair!” Tigerheart shot back. “Rowanstar could outhunt any of you, and I was distracted—”

  He realized the two she-cats had stopped listening. They were looking up the deserted slope. Their noses twitched.

  “I smell SkyClan.” Snowbird curled her lip at Tigerheart. “Is that what distracted you? Were there SkyClan cats here?”

  “I was talking to Sandynose and Rabbitleap,” Tigerheart confessed. He wished that was all that had been distracting him.

  Grassheart frowned as she stared at the churned pine needles where the rabbit had scrambled to the top of the slope. “And you let our prey run right into their paws,” she growled.

  Irritation rippled beneath Tigerheart’s pelt. He’d had enough of trying to persuade his Clanmates that having SkyClan as neighbors would make them safer, not weaker. He was tired of making excuses for Rowanstar. He was tired of chasing prey that preferred other Clans’ land. Maybe I should leave with Dovewing! Dovewing made him happy. She needed him, and so did their kits. And he loved her.

  Pine needles swished at the top of the rise. Sandynose and Rabbitleap appeared at the border. The fat rabbit Tigerheart had missed was dangling from Sandynose’s jaws.

  Snowbird hissed, her eyes glittering with fury. “Have you come to gloat with our prey?”

  Sandynose tossed the dead rabbit down the slope. “We came to return it.” He glared haughtily at the white she-cat.

  Snowbird bristled. “We don’t need you to hunt for us!”

  Tigerheart caught her eye, warning her to be quiet. When a Clan was hungry, pride was sometimes worth swallowing.

  Grassheart padded toward the rabbit and glanced back at Snowbird. “Ratscar will be grateful for the meal.”

  Snowbird narrowed her eyes. Tigerheart looked at her expectantly. Surely she could smell the warmth of its blood? Wasn’t she hungry enough to accept SkyClan’s kindness? Tigerheart’s belly ached with hunger. He hadn’t eaten since sunhigh yesterday.

  Grassheart turned her gaze to him. “We should take it.”

  Tigerheart nodded. “It would have been our catch if I’d been quicker.”

  As Snowbird growled under her breath, Grassheart dipped her head to Sandynose and Rabbitleap. “It was kind of you to return the prey.”

  Sandynose bowed stiffly and turned away.
Wordlessly, the SkyClan warriors padded from the border.

  Snowbird sniffed. “They’re almost as smug as ThunderClan.”

  “They were being generous,” Grassheart pointed out.

  Tigerheart’s pelt prickled hotly. Another Clan had killed prey that he should have caught. He tried to ignore his shame. At least this was a chance to persuade Snowbird that giving SkyClan their land had been a good idea. “We’re lucky to have such honorable warriors close by.”

  Snowbird headed back toward the ferns, her tail twitching. “Only you could see luck in losing half our territory,” she grumbled.

  Grassheart rolled her eyes at him. “She’ll be fine once she sees Ratscar eating this.” She scooped up the rabbit and headed toward home.

  Tigerheart scanned the clearing as he led Grassheart and Snowbird into camp. “Where’s Ratscar?” he called to Whorlpaw, who was sharing tongues with Flowerpaw at the edge. There was no sign of the skinny elder.

  Whorlpaw looked up. “He’s doing border patrol with Juniperclaw.”

  Tigerheart blinked. Elders weren’t supposed to go on border patrol.

  Scorchfur was at the fresh-kill pile. “I offered to take his place, but he said there were so few cats in ShadowClan now, he should help.” His gaze flicked to the rabbit Grassheart was carrying. “Nice catch.” He looked hopefully at Snowbird. “Any more where that came from?”

  “We’ll go out again soon,” Tigerheart promised. He glanced at Rowanstar and Tawnypelt at the head of the clearing. They were talking, their pelts prickling anxiously. Shouldn’t they be leading a hunting patrol? Talking wasn’t going to save the Clan.

  The bramble entrance rustled. Tigerheart turned, surprised to see Juniperclaw leading Willowshine and Alderheart into the camp. He pricked his ears. It was strange to have the ThunderClan medicine cat here, even stranger to see RiverClan’s. Mistystar had been determined to restore her Clan’s strength and had decided, after the last Gathering, that she should close its borders. So why was Willowshine roaming outside her territory?

  Ratscar followed them in, his mangy old pelt rippling with unease.