Dirty Talk

by S. L. Scott

  This last two months on my own have been good for me. I have survived. But I have been living in a state of limbo. There was no way I was going back to Lawrence. That had been a mistake from the beginning. I think I was still waiting for Luke to chase me, even though we agreed to keep our distance. That wasn’t fair to any of us. But that distance didn’t provide healing. It only caused more hurt.

  “You’ve had your heart all along. You packed it up along with the rest of your shit the day you decided you needed to test my love for you.” He’s wrong. I haven’t had my heart. But I need it now. It’s time to move past my state of displacement and be whole again.

  I open the door determined to walk out of his life one final time. To never again experience his arms around me. To never hear his heart beat when my cheek rests on his chest. To no longer love the man who has owned my heart for almost twelve years. He can help me. He can help me by allowing me to leave, knowing I’m not expecting him to chase me this time. Allowing me to go.

  If this is the right decision, why does it hurt so much?

  CHAPTER 13

  ~Luke~

  WHAT THE FUCK just happened? I’m holding the ring I gave Jane years ago while standing in the middle of my hotel room completely dumbfounded.

  She wasn’t engaged.

  My fingers close around the ring and I punch the fucking air, fury in my fists. “Fuck!” Years wasted. We should be together, not lost to fucking misunderstandings and lies. She lied to protect herself against me. Fuck. How did we get so fucking lost?

  When I open my hand again, impressions from the ring mark my skin. This is wrong, all wrong. I shouldn’t have this. Seeing it on her finger in the candy store, seeing it on her left hand ring finger has hit me hard. Every mistake I ever made when it came to her, to us, comes rushing back hitting me like a Mack truck.

  Why was she was wearing it? To taunt me? To show me she had it? I think back to the coffee shop in LA last month. Was she wearing it then? Did she wear it around Lawrence? They were never engaged. Not officially, but are they together? Are they not? He was with that other woman… I need answers to fill in the gaps she’s left behind in her destruction of my heart. I march to the door and open it.

  Ian jumps. “Holy shit, you scared me.”

  I stop, not sure what to say to him. The door next to mine opens and Jane’s eyes go wide for a split second before she recovers. “Um. Hi.”

  Ian smiles at her.

  Fuck him. Fucker.

  Then he has the fucking nerve to ask her, “You’re coming on the bat cruise tonight, right? I wanted to see if you want to come with?” He rocks back on his heels like he’s a nervous teen.

  Come with? Like he can’t fucking finish the question. Adding the word “me” is apparently much too tasking for him. Fuck him.

  And now I’m stuck in purgatory watching this play out before my very eyes.

  Her eyes are red. It’s obvious to anyone who’s paying attention she’s been crying. Everyone but Ian. Jane glances to me, but looks away just as quickly. “When is everyone leaving?” She looks back into her room. “I have a few things I need to do first.”

  “Two hours or so. We have the boat reserved. It has a bar.”

  She sniffles and Ian’s still oblivious. I shake my head, disgusted by this whole scene. My disgust might be jealousy but I won’t give them that much pleasure. She finally says, “Sure.” But then she shocks me. Looking straight at me, she asks, “Are you going?”

  The sharp edges of the stones dig into my skin again, not easing my anger that this joker is banging on her door wanting to bang my Jane. Mine.

  It doesn’t matter that we just argued, hurt each other deeper than before—

  Fuck yes, I want to go. Someone’s got to keep him off her.

  “I wouldn’t miss it.”

  Ian does not look happy, and turns back to Jane. “I’ll come by and get you when we’re leaving.”

  “I’ll be ready.” Suddenly she seems to struggle to make eye contact with me, so when Ian walks away, she whispers, “I’ll come get you, Luke.” Her door is shut, my initial plan ruined by Ian.

  But I have another. I go back inside my room. As soon as my door is shut, I’m knocking on the door that adjoins our rooms. “Jane, open up.” The double meaning is not lost on me. I know she’s pressed against the other side. I heard her, the cement floors giving every click of her shoes away. “Please.”

  One latch and then another unlocks before the door cracks open, her face peering back at me. I don’t waste time because I don’t know how much she’ll give me. “I want you to have the ring.” With an open palm, I wait.

  “I can’t, Luke.”

  Her lack of deliberation makes me think it’s an automated response, not one from the heart. Reaching to touch her, my hand comes to rest on her cheek. I rub my thumb gently across her wet skin, wiping away her tears. “Open the door.” She steps back and allows me to enter. I move into her space and take her in my arms. I expect a fight, but she doesn’t give me one. “The ring is yours, Jane, just like I am, just like I’ve always been.”

  Her shoulders shake with a quiet sob. “Don’t say such things. I don’t deserve either.”

  Lifting her chin up, I make sure her eyes are on me. When her tear-filled eyes meet my confident ones, I say, “I’ve never loved anyone like I love you.”

  “I thought you would come after me.”

  “I know. I should have, but I never was very good at tests.”

  The softest of laughs is heard and a small smile appears. I adore the sound, wishing I could hear it all the time. “What are we going to do?”

  Knowing exactly what we’re going to do, I reply, “We’re going to go and watch millions of bats fly out from under a bridge.”

  She laughs again, this time leaning back so I can see her full face. There are pink trails running down her cheeks where tears once traveled. I kiss each one, hoping to make it better, to make her feel better. Turning her head just a bit, my mouth covers the corner of hers and I kiss her again. Another shift on her part and our lips meet. The sweetest taste of heaven warms me.

  “What about in the meantime?” she asks with our mouths a breath apart.

  Taking her in my arms, I sway slowly to music that only exists in my head. “I was hoping we could get reacquainted.”

  She moves on her own accord, matching my rhythm, dancing with me to music that is ours alone.

  I spin her around and pull her in fast before dipping her. With her head tilted back, I lean down and kiss then lick the exposed skin of her neck. She looks up at me with the prettiest smile of any woman I’ve ever seen. “I never could resist you, my love.” When I right her, her arms remain securely around my neck. I continue to dance where we left off, my hands lowering to her waist. “I want to kiss you again.”

  She’s nodding, green eyes beneath dark lashes bright with anticipation. “Kiss me again.”

  My feet stop, my whole body knowing what it would rather be doing with this woman other than dancing. I cup her face and lean down. When my mouth covers hers, her body leans into mine. Bending quickly, I pick her up and walk to the bed. With one more kiss to her lips, I set her down. I have no game, even when I try. The woman still makes me nervous, just like she did in high school. With a unsure voice, I ask, “What do you want, Janie?”

  “You. I want to be with you.” Lying back, she stretches out with her arms above her head and turns her knees to the side. “Let’s make up and make love, Luke.”

  “You sure about that?”

  “Positive.”

  “On one condition. You stay this time.”

  “I can do that. I want to do that.” She lies back and starts to take her jeans down.

  While watching her, I smile while taking my shirt over my head. “Fuck, I’ve missed your sexy-as-fuck body, Janie.” I undo my belt and jeans. I let them drop and start on my socks. “I’m gonna lick you, suck you, then fuck you. Not a day has gone by when I don’t think about yo
u. One month has been too long, baby, since I last had the taste of you on my tongue.”

  Unbuttoning the top two buttons of her shirt, her chest is rising and falling deeper than before, the perfect shade of rose coloring her skin. With her chest exposed she lies down on the bed, her hair fanning across the pillow. She’s gorgeous. She whispers almost breathless, “I’ve heard about your dirty talking skills, but oh my God, Luke.”

  “Where did you hear such rumors?” I take down my boxers.

  “Hollywood parties.” Her eyes skim my body as she removes her shirt, leaving her only in her bra and undies, and way too clothed. “Your dirty talking reputation precedes you these days.”

  Climbing down over her, my torso rests on my elbows above her. Sneaking a quick kiss to her neck in, I say, “I’d rather be known for my skills.”

  She laughs, spreading her legs and letting me settle between them. “Oh I bet you would.”

  Waggling my eyebrows, I clarify, “I meant my producing skills.”

  “I thought they were one in the same.”

  “Guess it depends on what I’m producing.”

  “Movies or orgasms.”

  I chuckle again, kind of joking, but not. I know about the rumors. Most are true. Who knew speaking sexually to a woman was the best foreplay? It’s my forte, but I didn’t know Jane knew. I would have thought she’d be mad. Her curiosity is foreplay for my ego, my cock hardening at the thought. “Yes, those are my skills. I should add them to my résumé.”

  “You should. I heard you’re the best.”

  I kiss her neck slowly this time, inch by inch. “As I said, it’s all rumors.” I lick and then nip under her jaw, trying not to fuck her through her panties.

  Her arms come around me and she leans her head back, giving me more access. “So very disappointing. And here I thought there were secrets that you’d reveal to me, skills you’d learned in our time apart.”

  “Let me make love to you, beautiful.”

  Fingers slide through the back of my hair. Fisting it, she tugs my head back. When our eyes meet, she asks, “Is that the best you can do, lover?”

  The way she commands turns me on. I find the spot between her legs that turns her on, my fingers slipping under the lace that covers her. “I’ll be the best you ever had.”

  “You always were.” Her breath comes out harsh as the top of her head digs into the pillow beneath her.

  I kiss her. Hard. My fingers caress other parts of her body while I nuzzle her ear. I trace the shell with my tongue, then whisper, “I want to fuck you all night, then eat your pussy for breakfast.”

  Her body stills, mine stopping in reaction. Worried I said too much, that my words were too vulgar, I lift up and look at her.

  Something wild appears in the darkness of her pupils, something unfamiliar, but lustful, carnal at a base level. “Yes, I want that. Fuck me, Luke.”

  Sliding down her body, I keep my eyes on her while my mouth warms the apex of her thighs. “Show me your tits.”

  Her bra comes off within seconds just as I rip her panties on one side, and then the other to sounds of gasps. Watching her breath escape as her back arches, her tits glorious and full as they bounce from the sudden movement, I keep my eyes steady on her. I run the flat of my tongue over her, soothing the red marks on her hips from the material burn.

  And then I go lower.

  She’s wet. So wet between her legs. I keep my voice firm, clear, directed right at her pussy while I tease her mind. “I’m going to taste you. Savor every fucking ounce of you.”

  Her fingers tighten, the sheets strangled in her hold.

  My mouth takes possession of her clit and she moans, free by the lack of her body’s good-girl restraint.

  I fucking love it.

  I fucking love her body.

  I fucking love her.

  Kissing her, making love to her with my mouth, her orgasm comes quick and hard, her hands scrambling to pull me to the top until I’m there and she’s kissing me. I’m hard. So hard. I want to fuck her. I want to fuck her right now, but I can’t just yet. I push off. “Fuck. I forgot a condom.” I run into my room and rummage through my suitcase.

  Calling from where I left her, she says, “It’s almost like we’re back in high school.” Laughter follows, making me smile and glad she’s not mad for me not being more prepared.

  Rushing back, I tease, “Back then, you used to beg for sex.”

  “What’s your point?” With a cat ate the canary grin, she laughs lightheartedly.

  I’m back in position on top of her, my cock right where I want to be. “I’m about to drive my point home. Are you ready for me, beautiful?”

  “Not much has changed from then to now. Give it to me, big boy.”

  Any other time I might thrust as hard as I can, but looking at her now, despite the dirty talk and teasing, I worry I’ll hurt her. And that’s the last thing I want. We should build to that level, not start with it.

  I push slowly forward, inch-by-inch, as her body welcomes me. Being with her in any way is ecstasy, but this is the most unforgettable sensation—awareness and every emotion I’ve ever felt gathers and disperses, then builds again. It brings home just how much I have missed her. Sex with her… so real.

  Our bodies move, an insistence to every motion. An unspoken language is shared with every dip, curve, push, pull, our bodies becoming fluent in each other. I love her. I love everything about her and it’s killing me to hold back.

  But as I make love to her, I do.

  I have to. For her. And for me.

  She’s not ready to hear my soul confessions. So I thrust harder and harder, attaching my body to hers, to drown out the future and grabbing hold of the present. Taking her wrists, I stretch her arms above her head and use the leverage against her.

  “Luke,” falls from her lips and I kiss the letters away, inhaling her breath.

  Finding her most wanton spot, I touch her softness and am rewarded with moans. “God, you’re so fucking sexy.”

  A small smile dances across her lips. “More, Luke.”

  A cocky grin pops into place. “Turn over.”

  Limber and purring each precious breath she releases, she turns without breaking our connection. Taking her by the hips, I lean over, take a handful of her hair, and pull her back until her ear reaches my lips. “You’re mine, Janie. You always were and you always will be.”

  Her breath catches, her mouth wide open, as her eyes steady on the bed before her. Commanding, I tell her, “Say it.”

  She readily obliges, satisfying a sexual desire held deep inside like the torch I carry for her alone. “I always have and I always will be.”

  Pulling back, I slam into her, forcing her breath and a lustful moan. Two more times and I stop. Holding back to gain control again. For me, and her, to give her what she wants.

  “Every time I fuck you, you say my name. Do you understand?” When I release her hair, she turns to look back at me. Her green eyes are emeralds on fire. She nods, and I repeat, “Say it.”

  “Yes, I understand. God, Luke, please. I’m so close.”

  I give her everything I can until she’s calling my name so loudly that I cup my hand over her mouth, and whisper, “Shh. The walls are thin.”

  Dropping down, she hides her face in a pillow and I continue to rage in sexual ways until we’re both covered in sweat with lascivious words tumbling out. Rolling to the side, overly heated and exhausted, I poured every ounce of my soul into her, to please her, to make her believe that we can be one again because this is what I missed. This feeling that I couldn’t capture with other women. Only Jane makes me feel this amazing. She is and will always be my one and only.

  Our breathing hasn’t evened when my sweet angel makes her second request. “Will you lie on top of me?”

  I smile. I don’t think she sees since embarrassment has taken over and she holds her eyes closed tight. I rid myself of the condom, move closer, and maneuver slowly on top of her. Dropping my
weight down, I do what we both want, finding the connection that binds us forever—my heart beating against hers until they find their rhythm, in sync how they were always meant to be.

  CHAPTER 14

  ~Luke~

  “YOU DIDN’T CALL me any names,” Jane remarks casually before sipping her coffee.

  “Do you want me to call you names?”

  “I thought name calling was a part of dirty talking.” Big eyes peek up at me over the to-go cup.

  “I think it depends on the people involved.”

  “And the names.”

  Nodding, I watch her leaning against the green wall, “I love you so much” spray-painted in red over her shoulder. The sight makes me smile, feelings reignited inside, not from the sex, but from the woman. I take the photo on my phone and save it for later. I join her, standing next to her, trying to pretend I don’t feel those red painted words for this woman. I do. More deeply than I ever did before. Maybe it’s the sex I just had with her fogging my brain. “Yes, I guess what names are being called matter too.” After taking a drink of coffee, I ask, “If I were to call you a name while we are intimate, what name do you think you’d like to hear?”

  We made love and while dirty talk has its place, it doesn’t feel dirty when it’s with someone you love. It’s fun to see she doesn’t get embarrassed as easily as she used to. I’m liking this new Jane mixed with the old. I’m liking me with her.

  “I’m not sure. I’ve not thought about it before.” As if a light bulb goes off, she turns to me. “I wouldn’t like slut.”

  “Okay. So slut is out. Anything else?”

  “Bitch. I hate that word.” She settles her back to the wall again, watching a group of teenagers walk by. As soon as they pass, she makes a disgusted face. “No body parts or bodily functions. That would be a turn off.”

  “Like shit or fart—”

  “Or moist or dick.”

  Turning to her, feeling a little disgusted myself, I ask, “Who the fuck is calling someone they’re attracted to those names?”