The Shadow of the Torturer

by Gene Wolfe

Page 25

 

  The brandy had brought a flush to the girls cheeks, but her face was as vacant and bewildered as before, or nearly so. "I dont know," she whispered.

  Agia asked, "You dont remember coming here?"

  Dorcas shook her head.

  "Then whats the last thing you do remember?"

  There was a long silence. The wind seemed to be blowing harder than ever, and despite the drink, I was miserably cold. At last Dorcas murmured, "Sitting by a window . . . There were pretty things in the window. Trays and boxes, and a rood. "

  The big man said, "Pretty things? Well, if you was there, Im assured there was. "

  "Shes mad," Agia said. "Either someones been taking care of her and shes wandered away, or no one is taking care of her, which seems more likely from the state of her clothes, and she wandered in here when the curators werent looking. "

  "It may be somebodys cracked her over the head, took her things, and threw her in here thinking she was gone. Theres more ways in, Mistress Slops, than the curator knows of. Or maybe somebody brought her in to be sunk when she was only sick and sleepin. In a comer, as they call it, and the water woke her up. "

  "Surely whoever brought her in would have seen her. "

  "They can stay under a long time in a comer, so Ive heard. But whichever way it was, it dont much matter now. Here she is, and its up to her, I should say, to find out where she come from and who she is. "

  I had dropped the brown mantle and was trying to wring my guild cloak dry; but I looked up when Agia said, "Youve been asking all of us who we are. Who are you?"

  "Youve every right to know," the big man said. "Every right in the world, and Ill give you better bona fides than any of you have given me. Only after I does so, I must be about my own business. I come because I saw the young armiger here drowning, like any good man would. But Ive my own affairs to take care of, the same as the next. "

  With that he pulled off his tall hat, and reaching inside produced a greasy card about twice the size of the calling cards I had occasionally seen in the Citadel. He handed it to Agia, and I peered over her shoulder. In florid script, the legend read:

  HILDEGRIN THE BADGER

  Excavations of all kinds, by a single digger or 20 score. Stone is not too hard nor mud too soft. Ask on Argosy Street at the sign of the BLIND SHOVEL. Or inquire at the Alticamelus around the corner on Velleity.

  "And thats who I am, Mistress Slops and young sieur - which I hope you wont mind my calling you, firstly because youre younger than me, and secondly because youre a sight younger than what she is, for all you was probably born only a couple years sooner. And Ill be on my way. "

  I stopped him. "Before I fell in, I met an old man in a skiff who told me there was someone farther down the track who could ferry us across the lake. I think you must be the man he referred to. Will you take us?"

  "Ah, the one whats lookin for his wife, poor soul. Well, hes been a good friend to me many a time, so if he recommends you, I suppose Id better do it. My scow will hold four in a pinch. "

  He strode off motioning for us to follow; I noticed that his boots, which seemed to have been greased, sank in the sedge even deeper than my own. Agia said, "Shes not coming with us. " Still it was obvious that she (Dorcas) was, trailing along behind Agia and looking so forlorn that I dropped behind to try to comfort her.

  "Id lend you my mantle," I whispered to her, "if it werent so wet it would make you colder than you are already. But if youll go along this track the other way, youll come out of here altogether and into a corridor where its warmer and drier. Then if youll look for a door with Jungle Garden on it, that will let you into a place where the sun is warm and youll be quite comfortable. "

  I had no sooner spoken than I remembered the pelycosaur we had seen in the jungle. Fortunately, perhaps, Dorcas showed no sign of having heard what I said. Something in her face conveyed that she was afraid of Agia, or at least aware, in a helpless way, of having displeased her; but there was no other indication she was any more alert to her surroundings than a somnambulist.

  Conscious that I had failed to relieve her misery, I began again. "Theres a man in the corridor, a curator. Im sure hell at least try to find some clothes and a fire for you. "

  The wind whipped Agias chestnut hair as she looked back at us. "There are too many of these beggar girls for anyone to be worried about one, Severian. Including yourself. "

  At the sound of Agias voice, Hildegrin glanced over his shoulder. "I know a woman might take her in. Yes, and clean her up and give her some clothes. Theres a high-bred shape under that mud, thin though she is. "

  "What are you doing here, anyway?" Agia snapped, "You contract laborers, according to your card, but whats your business here?"

  "Just what you said, Mistress. My business. "

  Dorcas had begun to shiver. "Honestly," I told her, "all you have to do is go back. Its much warmer in the corridor. Dont go in the Jungle Garden. You might go into the Sand Garden, its sunny and dry in there. "

  Something in what I had said seemed to touch a chord in her. "Yes," she whispered. "Yes. "

  "The Sand Garden? Youd like that?"

  Very softly: "Sun. "

  "Heres the old scow now," Hildegrin announced. "With so many, were going to have to be particular about the seatin. And theres to be no movin about - shell be low in the water. One of the women in the bow, please, and the other and the young armiger in the stern. "

  I said, "Id be happy to take an oar. "

  "Ever rowed before? I thought not. No, youd best sit in the stern like I told you. It aint much harder pullin two oars than one, and Ive done it many a time, believe me, though there was half a dozen in her with me. "

  His boat was like himself, wide, rough, and heavy-looking. Bow and stern were square, so much so that there was hardly any horizontal taper from the waist, where the rowlocks were, though the hull was shallower at the ends. Hildegrin got in first, and standing with one leg to either side of the bench, used an oar to nudge the boat closer to shore for us.

  "You," Agia said, taking Dorcas by the arm. "You sit up there in front. "

  Dorcas seemed willing to obey, but Hildegrin stopped her. "If you dont mind, Mistress," he said to Agia, "Id sooner it was you in the bow. I wont be able to keep my eye on her, you see, when Im rowin, unless she sits behind. Shes not right, which even you and me can agree on, and low as well be Id like to know if she starts friskin around. "

  Dorcas surprised us all by saying, "Im not mad. Its just . . . I feel as if Ive just been wakened. "

  Hildegrin made her sit in the stern with me nonetheless. "Now this," he said as he pushed us off, "this is something youre not likely to forget if youve never done it before. Crossin the Lake of Birds here in the middle of the Garden of Everlastin Sleep. " His oars dipping into the water made a dull and somehow melancholy sound.

  I asked why it was called the Lake of Birds.

  "Because so manys found dead in the water, is what some say. But it might only be that thats because theres so many here. Theres a great deal said against Death. I mean by the people that has to die, drawin her picture like a crone with a sack, and all that. But shes a good friend to birds, Death is. Wherever theres dead men and quiet, youll find a good many birds, thats been my experience. "

  Recalling how the thrushes sang in our necropolis, I nodded.

  "Now if youll look past my shoulder, youll have a clear view of the shore ahead of us and be able to see a lot of things you couldnt before, because of the rushes growin all around you back there. Youll notice, if its not too misty, that the land rises farther on. The bogginess stops there, and the trees begin. Can you see em?"

  I nodded again, and beside me Dorcas nodded as well.

  "Thats because this whole peep show is meant to look like the mouth of a dead volcaner. The mouth of a dead man is what some say, but thats not really so. If it was, theyd of put in teeth. Youll remember, though, that when you come in here you come up through a p
ipe in the ground. " Once more, Dorcas and I nodded together. Though Agia was no more than two strides from us, she was nearly out of sight behind Hildegrins broad shoulders and fearnought coat.

  "Over there," he continued, jerking his square chin to show the direction, "you ought to be able to see a spot of black. Just about halfway up, it is, between the bog and the rim. Some sees it and thinks its where they come out of, but thats behind you and lower down, and a whole lot smaller. This that you see now is the Cave of the Cumaean - the woman that knows the future and the past and everything else. Theres some that say this whole place was built only for her, though I dont believe it. "

  Softly, Dorcas asked, "How could that be?" and Hildegrin misunderstood her, or at least pretended to do so.

  "The Autarch wants her here, so they say, so he can come and talk without travelin to the other side of the world. I wouldnt know about that, but sometimes I see somebody walkin around up there, and metal or maybe a jewel or two flashin. Who it is I wouldnt know, and since I dont want to know my future - and I know my past, I should think, better than her - I dont go near the cave. People come sometimes hopin to know when theyll be married, or about success in trade. But Ive observed they dont often come back. "

  We had nearly reached the center of the lake. The Garden of Endless Sleep rose around us like the sides of a vast bowl, mossy with pines toward the lip, scummed with rushes and sedge below. I was still very cold, more so because of the inactivity of sitting in the boat while another rowed; I was beginning to worry about what the immersion in water might do to the blade of Terminus Est if I did not dry and oil it soon, yet even so, the spell of the place held me. (A spell there was, surely, in this garden. I could almost hear it humming over the water, voices chanting in a language I did not know but understood. ) I think it held everyone, even Hildegrin, even Agia. For some time we rowed in silence; I saw geese, alive and content for all I could tell, bobbing a long way off; and once, like something in a dream, the nearly human face of a manatee looking into my own through a few spans of brownish water.

  Chapter 24

  THE FLOWER OF DISSOLUTION

  Beside me, Dorcas plucked a water hyacinth and put it in her hair. Except for the vague spot of white on the bank some distance ahead, it was the first flower I had seen in the Garden of Endless Sleep; I looked for others, but saw none.

  Is it possible the flower came into being only because Dorcas reached for it? In daylight moments, I know as well as the next that such things are impossible; but I am writing by night, and then, when I sat in that boat with the hyacinth less than a cubit from my eyes, I wondered at the dim light and recalled Hildegrins remark of a moment before, a remark that implied (though quite possibly he did not know it) that the seeresss cave, and thus this garden, was on the opposite side of the world. There, as Master Malrubius had taught us long ago, all was reversed: warmth to the south, cold to the north; light at night, dark by day; snow in summer. The chill I felt would be appropriate then, for it would be summer soon, with sleet riding the wind; the darkness that stood even between my eyes and the blue flowers of the water hyacinth would be appropriate then too, for it would soon be night, with light already in the sky.

  The Increate maintains all things in order surely; and the theologicans say light is his shadow. Must it not be then that in darkness order grows ever less, flowers leaping from nothingness into a girls fingers just as by light in spring they leap from mere filthiness into the air? Perhaps when night closes our eyes there is less order than we believe. Perhaps, indeed, it is this lack of order we perceive as darkness, a randomization of the waves of energy (like a sea), the fields of energy (like a farm) that appear to our deluded eyes - set by light in an order of which they themselves are incapable - to be the real world.

  Mist was rising from the water, reminding me first of the swirling motes of straw in the insubstantial cathedral of the Pelerines, then of steam from the soup kettle when Brother Cook carried it into the refectory on a winter afternoon. The witches were said to stir such kettles; but I had never seen one, though their tower stood hardly a chain from ours. I remembered that we rowed across the crater of a volcano. Might it not have been the Cumaeans kettle?

  Urths fires were long dead, as Master Malrubius had taught us; it was more than possible that they had cooled long before men had risen from the position of the beasts to cumber her face with their cities. But witches, it was said, raised the dead. Might not the Cumaean raise the dead fires to boil her pot? I dipped my fingers into the water; it was as cold as snow.

  Hildegrin leaned toward me as he rowed, then drew away as he pulled his oars. "Goin to your death," he said. "Thats what youre thinkin. I can see it in your face. To the Sanguinary Field, and hell kill you, whoever he is. "

  "Are you?" Dorcas asked, and gripped my hand.

  When I did not answer, Hildegrin nodded for me. "Dont have to, you know. Theres them that doesnt follow the rules, and yet runs free. "

  "Youre mistaken," I said. "I wasnt thinking about monomachy - or dying either. "

  In my ear, too softly, I think, even for Hildegrin to hear, Dorcas said, "Yes, you were. Your face was full of beauty, of a kind of nobility. When the world is horrible, then thoughts are high, full of grace and greatness. "

  I looked at her, thinking she was mocking me, but she was not, "The world is filled half with evil and half with good. We can tilt it forward so that more good runs into our minds, or back, so that more runs into this. " A movement of her eyes took in all the lake. "But the quantities are the same, we change only their proportion here or there. "

  "I would tilt it as far back as I can, until at last the evil runs out altogether," I said.