The Wedding Day

by Joanne Clancy

  Nicole stared at herself in the mirror for the millionth time that evening.

  She'd painstakingly applied fake tan to her face and body the previous night before bed and now her bare legs and arms had a lovely, golden glow.

  She wore a black, sparkly mini dress and black stiletto shoes. A few silver bangles glittered on her wrists and she was wearing the chandelier earrings that her parents had given her for her birthday.

  It felt good to make an effort, more for herself than for anyone else. She hadn't had an opportunity to get dressed up for ages and she was looking forward to going out on the town with her new friends.

  "Oh, that's ok. Sarah likes to get dressed up when she goes out too. I thought you had a hot date that you weren't telling me about."

  "What makes you say that?" Nicole asked, trying to sound as nonchalant as possible.

  "You've been acting differently lately, almost like you have a secret or something. You keep staring off into the distance and you just seem distracted, like there's something playing on your mind."

  "I'm thinking about work, that's all really. I desperately want our wedding planning business to work. I'm having so much fun working with you, sis."

  "Me too," Evette grinned.

  "It's a shame you're not coming out with us tonight," Nicole said.

  "I know, but I can feel a massive migraine starting and I'm better off staying at home, relaxing. Alcohol and loud music will definitely aggravate my head. Hopefully if I take it easy tonight I'll be able to ward off a full-blown migraine."

  "I hope so, sis," Nicole sympathised. "Have you got enough painkillers?"

  "I've bought up half the chemist," Evette laughed.

  "Call me if you need anything, ok?"

  "Ok, ok. Stop fussing. Your taxi just buzzed outside. I'll be fine. Go and enjoy yourself."

  Evette shooed her sister out the door.

  Nicole felt nervous. She had excited butterflies in her stomach, but she didn't understand why. Sarah had called her the previous evening to see if she'd like to go out on the town and Nicole had been looking forward to it all day.

  She'd spent hours trying on different outfits and deciding what to wear. It was the first time in a very long time that she'd really wanted to make an effort with her appearance, more for herself than for anyone else.

  None of her clothes really fit her properly anymore as she'd lost a stone in weight since the fiasco that was supposed to be her wedding day.

  One of the positives of being jilted at the altar, she thought ruefully to herself.

  She'd been thrilled to discover the black sparkly mini-dress in Topshop which she'd immediately pounced on.

  Sarah waved when she saw Nicole approaching the taxi. Ben jumped out of the passenger seat and gallantly opened the car door for her.

  "You look beautiful," he smiled.

  Nicole blushed under his appreciative gaze.

  "Thanks."

  "Where's Ev?" Sarah asked.

  "Oh, she has a migraine coming on, so she thought it wise to have an early night."

  "Lightweight," Sarah grinned.

  "So where are we off to tonight?" Nicole asked.

  "I'd like to start with a few drinks at O' Carolan's and then head on to Cupid's nightclub later."

  "Sounds like a plan to me."

  "It's ladies night at Cupid's so you two lovelies will get in for free," Ben said over his shoulder.

  "High five!" Sarah raised her hand to Nicole's and they both laughed. Nicole could feel that it was going to be a good night.

  **~~**

  "How long have you two been friends?" Nicole asked as she took a sip of her wine.

  Sarah's expression changed for just a moment, but not without Nicole noticing.

  "Too long," she laughed.

  "Not long enough," Ben chimed in.

  "Creep."

  "Have you ever been more than just friends?" Nicole continued her line of questioning.

  Her curiosity was getting the better of her.

  "Well, we had a moment a few years ago," Ben answered easily.

  "A very brief moment," Sarah agreed, a little too forcefully.

  "Do you think that men and women can ever just be friends?" Nicole asked.

  "Ben and I are just friends now," Sarah replied. "I guess we are proof that it is possible."

  "It's possible once you get the sex issue out of the way," Ben said.

  Nicole almost choked on her wine.

  "That's a bit blunt, even by my standards, Ben," Sarah chuckled.

  "You know what I mean," Ben replied, rolling his eyes. "It's natural that men and women will check each other out when they first meet, especially if there's an attraction or chemistry between them. Sometimes there is an attraction but there are times when a man and woman simply want a platonic relationship with each other.

  Some of my closest friends are women and I haven't slept with them. It's interesting when you consider the fact that I'm not in contact with any of my ex-girlfriends. I love my female friends. I have more girl- friends than male friends actually. It can be a little tricky at first but once you've reached an understanding about your relationship then there can be great benefits from cross-sex friendships."

  "I suppose you mean friends with benefits?" Nicole teased.

  The wine had gone to her head quite quickly and she was beginning to feel giddy. Sarah gave her a stern look.

  "It can be irritating at times. Some people simply will not accept the fact that a male-female friendship is possible. Ben came to my Christmas party one year and my colleagues refused to believe that we were just friends. They teased me all night about him. Ben and I were the main topic of conversation at the party. People were nudging each other and winking at us all night. My boss even asked me if I was lesbian!"

  Ben exploded into loud laughter. "I never knew! Why do people have to be so sceptical?"

  "Oh, you know what most people are like; anything or anyone out of the so-called norm is just socially unacceptable and completely beyond their comprehension," Sarah said disparagingly.

  "Are you a lesbian?" Ben teased.

  Nicole collapsed into helpless giggles and Sarah punched him playfully on the arm.

  "Yes, I'm a lesbian," she said.

  Ben's face lit up.

  "I hope you enjoy lots of fantasies about that one. I'm going outside for a cigarette."

  "You can't handle the conversation, eh Sarah?"

  "Whatever!" she brushed past him and headed towards the smoking area.

  "What do you think, Nicole, can men and women be friends?"

  A tingle ran up Nicole's spine as he glanced thoughtfully at her. She recalled the passionate kiss they'd shared and wondered what it would be like to kiss him again and feel his hands on her body.

  What would it be like to sleep with him? She'd only ever slept with one man and that was Paul. She suddenly remembered Paul and blinked to get the image of Ben kissing her out of her head. She took a long, slow sip of her wine before finally answering Ben's question.

  "We're friends, aren't we?" she retorted.

  "Maybe," he shrugged.

  "What if I'd like to be more than just friends with you?"

  "I don't know. I don't think so. Paul and I are going to try to work it out."

  "Pity, he's a lucky man."

  Ben looked momentarily disappointed at her announcement.

  "Have you ever had a male friend before?" he asked, quickly regaining his composure.

  Nicole squirmed uncomfortably in her seat.

  "Before what?"

  "Before me, of course."

  "Are you and I friends?" she asked flirtatiously, suddenly deciding to change her attitude towards him.

  "I'd like to think so."

  "Well, no, I haven't, you would be my first, actually." She eyes him over the rim of her glass.

  "Why do you think you've never had a male friend before me?"

  "I don't know. Paul was my best friend and I had a few cl
ose female friends. I never consciously decided not to have male friends, it just never really happened."

  "What about your male colleagues at work and when you socialised? Did you honestly never have an opportunity to become friends with any of them?"

  "Like I said, it just didn't happen."

  She was getting tired of his game.

  "Did you have any male friends at school?" Ben continued his line of questioning.

  Nicole was beginning to feel as if she was being interrogated.

  "I went to an all- girls Catholic school until I was eighteen years old, so I didn't have many opportunities to meet boys for friendship or otherwise."

  "Wow," Ben gasped, in mock horror.

  "I didn't know any boys until I went to university. I suppose Paul was my first male friend and eventually we became more than friends."

  "I wonder why you couldn't have stayed friends and nothing more?" Ben mused.

  "There was a strong physical attraction between us," Nicole explained. "I guess our relationship developed from there."

  "It's funny how society has become so ingrained in the philosophy that a romantic relationship is the prototypical male-female relationship."

  "It's inevitable," Nicole said. "After all, romantic relationships are what keep the life cycle going. We can't fight Mother Nature."

  "I dunno, it irritates me that male-female friendships have been trivialised or ignored. I think we have so much to learn from each other."

  "Like what?" "I have male and female friends and I have to admit that I'd rate my female friendships much higher in overall quality and enjoyment. I like the way I can talk and relate to a woman, something which is difficult to do with another guy."

  "I love my male friends," Sarah interrupted.

  She'd suddenly reappeared with a fresh round of drinks for them and had just caught Ben's last sentence. "All the sharing and discussing that I do with my female friends can be exhausting at times. It's much easier to joke and banter with my male friends without all the emotional baggage.

  My friendships with the men in my life are lighter and generally more fun. I suppose because men aren't so sensitive about everything. Men tend to take my natural bluntness in their stride whereas women get offended quite easily by me.

  Ben is like a big brother to me now. It's cute how protective he is of me but one of the best things is that I have an insight into how men truly think."

  "I never thought about that aspect," Nicole's eyes opened wide. "Paul used to do things that I couldn't fathom at times and I know he felt the same way about me too. It's like we were from a different planet and couldn't understand each other. Sometimes I wondered if we needed a translator to communicate."

  "Men are from Mars and women are from Venus," Ben sang. "Have you not read the book?"

  "No," Nicole looked at him like he'd lost his mind. "Have you?"

  "I've read it cover to cover. It explains a lot. I'll lend you my copy next time we meet."

  "Thanks, I might have to take you up on your offer." Nicole took a long sip of her wine in an effort to hide the giggles that threatened to erupt at any minute. She didn't know if Ben was being serious or not.

  "We still haven't definitively answered the question," Ben continued. "Can men and women just be friends?"

  "I think the key to male-female friendships, like any other relationship, is communication," Sarah said.

  "Both people have to openly and honestly discuss what their relationship will mean and establish their boundaries. My friendship with Ben thrived after we acknowledged the frisson of sexual tension between us.

  We tried to ignore it at first, but our friendship was beginning to fester, so once we'd openly discussed our feelings for each other and decided that we wanted to remain platonic, we had a new confidence and positivity about our relationship."

  "I wonder if your friends' partners have issues with them being friends you. I know it seems petty but I have to admit that I'd be jealous if my boyfriend had a close female friend, especially if she was pretty. I'd constantly wonder if there was anything going on between them," Nicole mused.

  "My male friends have never mentioned anything to me about their partners' having issues with our friendship," Sarah replied.

  "I've gotten some stern looks from my female friends' partners," Ben smirked.

  "I went to dinner at Melissa's house last week and her husband barely said two words to me all night. He was moody and sullen for most of the meal. Oh well, that's his problem, not mine. I know I'm not doing anything wrong, so he has to deal with own insecurity issues."

  "What about the inherent differences between men and women? Is it truly possible for us to be friends?" Nicole insisted.

  She was finding it difficult to comprehend.

  "Come on, Nicole! Welcome to the twenty first century," Sarah said. "The belief that men and women can't be friends is from an archaic era in which women stayed at home and men went out to work and the only way they could get together was for romance."

  "Nowadays men and women work together, share sports interests and socialise together. It's inevitable that we become platonic friends," Ben interjected.

  "There are so few male-female friendships that it's difficult for even the most liberally minded people to get their heads around it," Sarah continued.

  "We have rules for how to act in romantic relationships; flirt, date, get married, have kids and we even have rules for same-sex friendships; boys relate by doing activities together, girls by talking and sharing, but the rules for male-female relationships have yet to be established and accepted."

  "I think the media has a lot to answer for," Ben said.

  "Hollywood movies perpetuate the fairy-tale notion that romantic love is the only option for men and women."

  "Television hasn't helped either," Sarah agreed.

  "Almost every time you see a male-female friendship it ends up turning into a romance.

  "Chandler and Monica on Friends started off as just friends but they ended up getting married," Nicole chimed in.

  "Exactly," Sarah said. "Look at Meg Ryan and Billy Crystal in the movie "When Harry met Sally." They convinced everyone that sex always comes between men and women, thus making true friendship impossible."

  "The cultural images are difficult to overcome," Ben said.

  "It's no wonder we expect that men and women are always on the road to romance."

  "I must say that our conversation has been enlightening," Nicole smiled.

  "You two have opened my eyes to how I view men and women. So, what are your top tips for making a male-female friendship work?"

  "I think we need another drink," Ben interrupted. "I'm working up a thirst from all this debating. What would you ladies like, same again?"

  "Same again, please," they answered in unison.

  Nicole turned to Sarah when Ben was out of ear shot.

  "Tell me, honestly, Sarah, don't you fancy Ben at all?"

  "I used to have a serious crush on him," Sarah admitted.

  "I thought he was the sexiest man I'd ever seen when we first met, but he had a girlfriend at the time so we were just friends. They broke up eventually but by then we'd established our friendship and we didn't want to ruin it by taking it any further. We had to overcome a few issues but now we have an incredible relationship."

  "What sort of issues?" Nicole asked curiously.

  "Well, first and most importantly, you have to decide if the relationship will be romantic or platonic."

  "It must be very difficult to distinguish between romantic, sexual and friendly feelings."

  "It was difficult at first," Sarah agreed.

  "People don't know what feelings are appropriate toward the opposite sex, unless they're what our culture defines as appropriate. You know you love someone and enjoy them as a person, but not enough to date or marry them. What does this mean?"

  "How did you and Ben overcome your attraction? The reality is that sexual attraction could suddenly enter
the equation of your friendship uninvited. It's probably always lurking in the background.

  A simple, platonic hug could instantaneously take on a more amorous meaning. You're trying to do a friend-friend thing, but the male-female parts of you get in the way. Unwelcome or not, the attraction must be difficult to ignore at times."

  "Sometimes," Sarah agreed, "but neither of us wants to ruin our friendship by becoming romantically involved."

  "Who do you think is more dominant in your relationship?" Nicole asked.

  "I'd say that it's fairly equal," Sarah replied. "I have quite a strong personality anyway and Ben is very laidback and easy-going so I think we complement each other nicely."

  "Are you ever even the tiniest bit jealous when he has a new girlfriend and he talks about how wonderful and amazing she is?" Nicole asked.

  "I don't get jealous anymore but I do miss my friend, especially at the start of a new relationship when he's spending all his time with his girlfriend. I love Ben. He's my best friend, nothing more, nothing less."

  "Ditto," Ben arrived back with the drinks, just in time to catch the end of their conversation.

  "Why can't men and women just be friends? I don't think that marriage is as wonderful and fulfilling as everyone pretends," Sarah said.

  "I have a female friend who says that she regrets ever getting married, but she's too bogged down in domestic and family life to get out now."

  "How awful for her!" Nicole exclaimed. "I'd hate to be in a loveless marriage."

  "Don't get me wrong," Sarah explained. "She loves her husband and her children but she feels like she's lost a big part of herself."

  Ben groaned. "I think we’ve had enough of the deep and meaningful discussions for one night. It's time for us to party!"

  Chapter 18

  "When were you planning on telling me?" Evette stormed into the living room where Nicole had passed out on the couch. She hadn't gotten home until the early hours of the morning and too much partying and drinking had taken their toll on her.