Alternate Plans (California Dreamin' Series Book 2)

by Jenn Flynn-Shon

  “They don’t need anything from me today. The funeral isn’t until tomorrow.”

  My dad stared at me. After what felt like a full minute, it was as if his eyes moved directly through me, the cabinet behind me, the wall, and all the way around the world. His expression was entirely blank. An outsider might have written it off as a contemplative look of melancholy. But I knew better. His stare was vacant. Almost emotionless.

  It occurred to me in that moment the look was the same one I’d seen on his face for the past nine years. He simply didn’t care. He didn’t want to see Uncle Gary. He didn’t take the loss of his sister-in-law all that hard.

  “Where are you, sweetheart? Last night was incredible! I’m so glad Walter left town for the past week…”

  The female voice started near the front hall and moved closer with each word. My dad’s disconnection turned to a look of fear.

  His eyes darted toward the door but not before the woman in question stepped into the kitchen saying, “there you are,” and walking right up to him. She tossed herself into his arms and kissed him, not in a next door neighbor kind of way.

  “Hi Sallyanne,” I said and her head swung in my direction as the words tumbled from my mouth.

  She righted herself, fumbled with words and said hello. Then the woman wiped at her lips as if she could somehow erase what I’d just witnessed. What I could never un-see. In an instant I felt as if I’d been slapped. Awakened to the truth. Like in a movie when the one in the dark, quite literally, sees the light. My father didn’t have an issue with cheating. He wasn’t lonely. He didn’t miss me since I’d been gone. He didn’t need me at all.

  I took a step backwards, my left hip running into the bullnose edge of the marble countertop. My gaze shifted to my father’s face. He shook his head then dropped his chin towards his cup of coffee and started stirring in silence. The spinning spoon acted like a whirlpool, sucking all the air out of the room with every revolution.

  Everything Ryan had told me came rushing back in spades. Dad had tried pushing all of us away for close to a decade. And Ryan’s tirade from that Christmas Eve finally made sense.

  It wasn’t that I got more love, it was that nobody got any after mom died. Dad had shut down. Turned off his heart. I was just too blind, or blinded by some sick familial loyalty to really see what Ryan meant all these years. I tried to make my dad love me like I loved my mom. But he couldn’t do it. He couldn’t parent me. He let his sadness overshadow everything else in his life. Let it consume him until there was nothing left. And I had tried for far too long to force something I could never have.

  Too afraid to give up the money for real. The status. In that moment I knew that was all done. It was high time to go and live the life I had been test-driving for the past six months. None of these people had even called me back in three days. It was time to cut the ties. Become a grownup for real. And there was only one way to do that. To really give it a shot, living on my own.

  With swift movement, I dumped what was left of my coffee down the drain, deposited the mug in the bottom of the sink, and spun on a heel. I had to get out of there. Had to leave the house. My old life. At a speed I didn’t even know I was capable of, my feet pounded up the hardwood stairs.

  Ten minutes later, I was dressed, bag packed, and purse over my shoulder. I was two feet from the door and I heard my dad behind me. He was standing in the doorway to the kitchen at the end of the hall. I could feel those emotionless eyes boring into my back.

  My feet faltered for half a step as I considered turning around to face him. To see if he would ask me to stay. But as my heart caught up to my head I knew the move would be fruitless. Not even a sad sigh escaped his lungs as, for the second time, one of his kids exited the house and pulled the door shut without ever turning back.

  I started my car then plugged in my cell phone. As the screen backlit to tell me it was charging, I depressed Ryan’s speed dial. He didn’t pick up so I left a message - I was skipping the funeral, don’t worry about going for me, I wouldn’t be there. I hung up and tears spilled down my cheeks as I pulled away from the curb. Leaving my old life behind just like my brother had done at about the same age.

  Before I got out of the neighborhood my stomach reminded me that it was first thing in the morning. I was starving. And all I wanted were three giant buttermilk biscuits and a heaping bowl of gravy from Cooper’s Diner. Adam’s face flashed through my mind. Adam.

  I’d messed everything up then raced back to people who didn’t really care about me, let alone each other. People who didn’t go out of their way to help other people. I realized Adam and I were so much alike that it actually hurt. Adam helped everybody.

  He was someone who could understand why I’d tried so hard to be there for my family. No matter how much they tried to push me away, I kept trying. The outcast attempting to get in with the cool kids. I was so blind. Adam tried to help me no questions asked. That’s all.

  It was time to do, as Chloe put it, some damage control. Even if Chloe was wrong about his feelings I knew I needed to apologize to him. Face-to-face. I owed the guy that much. Not to mention, it felt like the grownup thing to do for once.

  My phone rang and I picked up on the second chime, “Hey,” I said to my brother.

  “Hey, what the hell is going on?”

  “Didn’t you get my message?”

  “Yes, and I’m still confused,” he replied.

  “Ryan, you were so right. About everything. Nobody was there. Nobody wanted to spend time together. Dad doesn’t care that his brother is grieving. If Uncle Gary even cares. I never heard back from Ray. And Sallyanne…,” I trailed off not sure how to finish the sentence. Not sure I wanted to finish.

  “Oh boy. Okay, you’re coming here then?”

  “No, I’m already on the freeway heading north,” I said and checked my mirrors as I swiped away more tears with the cuff of my sweatshirt.

  “You’re on the 101? Hang up the phone!”

  Ryan all but yelled at me and I had to pull the cell away from my head to keep from temporary deafness. He hated people who talked on a phone while on the freeway. Actually, he hated cell phones and didn’t even have one of his own. I couldn’t understand how he got by without one.

  “You always overreact,” I said, attempting to calm him down and get back to the important topic.

  “If you’re on the freeway anyway you should come here, Deb. I’d like to see you actually. It’s been a while.”

  “And whose fault is that, huh?” I asked, my emotions on the edge of my last nerve.

  “What does that mean?”

  “It means, when is the last time you came to see me? Why do I always have to be the one to make the effort for everyone in this family? You’re no better than the rest of them!” I yelled back at him.

  “Whoa, okay if it means that much I’m grabbing my keys and coming up there today. My boss will fire me but you know it isn’t like that with us, Deb,” he said, and I actually heard his keys rattle in the background.

  I sighed, knowing he was right. But I was still mad. At everyone. At everything that had happened. At myself for being an idiot. I was trying to fix everyone but they didn’t need me. Didn’t need my help. I needed to fix myself. Tears stung at the corners of my eyes.

  “No, don’t get fired. I’m going back to Cedar Falls.”

  “What?” His voice went up in a high pitch at the end of the word.

  “I can’t even explain it to you right now. And you probably wouldn’t understand anyway. Or, at least, you wouldn’t believe me.”

  “You fell in love?”

  “What?” It was my turn to elevate my tone.

  Ryan laughed, “Sis, I know you better than you think I do. Who is it, the tow truck driver?”

  It was, again, my turn to parrot my brother with a laugh, “No, it’s the guy who basically owns the town.”

  “Owns a town? How old is this guy? Is he rich or something?”

  “My age, and n
ot rich. I think he’s going bankrupt, actually,” I said and a tiny giggle escaped with the truth.

  “Uh, sis?” Ryan said, and stopped, waiting for me to say something but when I didn’t he sighed and filled the dead air, “Is that really a good idea?”

  I paused for a moment and my mouth cracked a smile as wide as my radiator grill, “Maybe the best one I’ve ever had.”

  “Well, then, you know what I always say,” he said and took a deep breath, “live your life for you because it’s the only one you get.”

  CHAPTER FIFTEEN

  Two hours later, I turned Betty’s green nose off the road and pointed it at the faded sign that read Cooper’s Garage. The smile that broke out while talking to my brother was still plastered to my face. The emotion quickly faded as I pulled up to the front door and noticed all the lights were off. There was a piece of paper taped up inside on the glass door facing out. It read: Closed until further notice.

  I felt a pang of panic surge in my veins. I only knew one other place where I might find Adam. All I wanted to do was apologize for being so mean when he had done so many nice things for me. And not only did the guy avoid bragging about them, he wasn’t concerned if I ever found out. Selfless. With a shake of my head, followed by a nod of determination for my quest, I pulled Betty back onto the pavement and made my way to Main Street.

  I drove through town at a snail’s pace and if anyone was watching I was sure to look like a bobblehead. My head swung back and forth as I swept the streets with my eyes, hopeful I’d catch sight of the shiny black Maxima parked somewhere in sight of the main drag. In minutes I arrived at the far end of Main Street. The knot in my gut yelling you blew it! grew to an unimaginable size. I flipped around in the street and parked in front of the hotel.

  With a deep breath I turned off the engine and again prayed for a familiar face behind the front desk. Keychain bundle in hand I flung Betty’s driver’s side door shut and approached the hotel. For a millisecond I almost second-guessed myself. My mind spun. What if Adam didn’t have the same feelings I had? What if Chloe was wrong and I was about to make a prize fool out of myself?

  It suddenly occurred to me that I didn’t care one little bit. For the first time in my life I was going to go after exactly what I wanted. No family influence, nobody else telling me what I should or shouldn’t do. No fear and no looking back. I pulled the door open.

  “Chloe?” I called out to the empty lobby.

  A head poked out from the office as I walked toward the front desk. It wasn’t Chloe, I was standing face-to-face with Mrs. Yandell.

  “Well hello, Deb! Didn’t expect to see you back around here today. And so sorry to hear about the death in your family. If I’d known I would have taken you straight to Santa Barbara myself. When the word spread about the funeral and we found out Adam—”

  “That’s why I’m here, actually,” I cut her off at the mention of the name attached to the only person I wanted to see.

  “Ah, I see,” she smiled and, just like the first time I met her, I saw the familiar twinkle in the wrinkly corner of her eye.

  “Do you know where I can find him? I went by the garage but there was a sign…” I trailed off.

  She nodded and dipped her chin, “He left town for a week or so. Said he needed a vacation.

  “Do you know where?” I asked and almost crossed my fingers like I was in sixth grade.

  “You may not believe this with the way gossip floats around, but Adam is so private he kept all the details of his trip a complete secret. Just said I’d need to cover breakfast next Sunday and he headed home.”

  If the town gossip didn’t know how to track him down then Adam was likely gone from my life forever. I felt my shoulders slump toward the carpet.

  “Mrs. Yandell, if you see or hear from Adam could you let him know I really want, uh, need, to talk to him.”

  I grabbed a business card and the pen off the guestbook stand then scribbled my number on the back of the heavy cardstock. With a little prayer for some kind of universal magic, I passed the card across the counter and smiled at the cheerful woman behind the desk.

  “Of course. Are you headed home now or Santa Barbara.”

  “Home. Definitely home,” I said and turned for the door.”

  “Take care of yourself until I see you again, Deb!” She called out after me.

  I turned around to face her, walking backwards the last few feet to the door, and backed out of the door while giving her a wave. As I spun back around to face Betty, my feet came to a complete stop in the middle of the sidewalk. There was Adam, leaning against my passenger side door, arms crossed until the moment our eyes met.

  “Adam?” I tried to sound surprised but it came out as a question.

  “That’s the name stitched on my uniform,” he said and smiled as he leaned upward to stand flat-footed on the edge of the curb.

  I laughed, thinking back to three days ago when he said the same words at my first mention of his name, but I asked, “Or should I call you Coop like everyone else?”

  He sighed and took a half step toward me but stopped himself from moving closer, “I shouldn’t have lied to you.”

  “You didn’t lie to me, Adam. And I am so sorry for being mean. I just don’t understand why you didn’t tell me any of the times we talked.”

  “Because you never would have looked at me the same way.”

  “What makes you say that?”

  “All the talk about money and how you couldn’t wait to meet him to thank him. Calling him, me, Mister Rich. I’m not you know,” he said and took another half step in my direction.

  “That doesn’t matter to me. I just didn’t know how to handle getting help from anyone. I’m usually the one trying to help people but—” I cut myself off, unsure how to finish the sentence.

  He nodded. “You thought I was mean when we met, and maybe it surprised you I wasn’t the mean guy you thought I was?”

  “I wouldn’t say I thought you were mean. Okay, well, at the time we met I did but you were just giving me a hard time. And doing your job. My week has sucked. Hard. Sarcasm went right over my head.”

  “Plus you were a drowned rat. Also my fault.”

  I laughed and took a half step in his direction, “Chloe gave me some advice—”

  “Look, Deb,” he cut me off and took a full step toward me without saying another word.

  I suddenly realized how close we were standing to each other. At the sound of my name falling from his mouth I wanted to take the last step and fling myself on top of him. I resisted in an attempt to hear him out.

  “Yeah?”

  “I’ve wanted to ask you something since the minute we met,” he said and reached out to my hand with his hand.

  Warm. Inviting. Comfortable. Just like yesterday on the bench but I wasn’t expecting the gesture and jumped at the heat from his hand. That heat raced through my body and straight to my face.

  “Adam,” I said and he dropped my hand. Surprised, my face followed and watched as my limb fell back into place at my side.

  “You don’t think of me like that, right, check, got it,” he finished, a hint of nervous energy in his voice.

  He took a half step back from me. I stood stone still for no more than a millisecond. In that flash of a moment I saw everything I’d been through. Breaking up with Chuck in public, my awful job, leaving Santa Barbara two hours ago, and questioning every decision I’d made about my life. I took a half step forward. We were less than a foot apart.

  With every ounce of courage I could muster, I reached out for his hand again, “That’s exactly how I feel.”

  The recognition of what I’d said made its ways to his eyes and his lids shot up toward his eyebrows. I smiled at the reaction.

  “How do we even do this? I mean, you don’t live anywhere near here…” he trailed off.

  “Funny you mention that,” I said and ignored the flaring warmth covering my cheeks, “I recently lost my connection to Santa Barbara as
well as a promotion at work. I’m thinking of relocating.”

  “Relocating? You don’t actually mean to Cedar Falls?”

  “Yup.”

  “You know Cedar Falls is tiny, right? I mean, getting a job might be tough.”

  “About that, I also have a proposition for you.”

  “Oh yeah,” he said then closed the space between us and said, “Can I hug you first?”

  I nodded and he wrapped his arms all the way around me, one high on my shoulders and his hand raked through some of my hair. My knees felt like they had in the diner, weak and useless, but I kept my balance by wrapping my arms around his waist and breathing in every bit of comforting warmth near his collar. Definitely spicy lavender.