Christmas On Pointe (A Silver Bell Falls Holiday Novella)

by Samantha Chase

  “Oh my...it looks like I’m definitely going to have at least one full class!” Abby said happily. “I...I don’t know what to say!”

  “Say that you’ve found your place and that you’re looking forward to starting to work on it after the first of the year,” Millie said.

  Nodding furiously, Abby agreed. “I can’t believe it! I have a dance studio!” And all she could think of was how she couldn’t wait to share the news with Dean. “So...what’s next?”

  “I know it’s late so let’s plan on meeting at my office in the morning to sign the papers and then you can head over to the bank before going in to work at the diner,” Bette suggested. “Will that work for you?”

  Abby laughed. “Are you kidding me? I’ll make it work!”

  “How about we say eight tomorrow morning?” Bette asked, taking out her calendar.

  “I’ll be there!”

  Walking out the door, Abby felt like she was floating on air. Actually, what she really wanted to do was have a few minutes alone in the space to simply dance and get out all of her excitement and energy and celebrate, but that would have to wait. There was no way she was going to ask for a key before they even signed any contracts.

  No matter how much she wanted to.

  “Do you want to go and grab a drink to celebrate?” Millie asked as Bette locked the door.

  “Thanks, but I’m meeting Dean and Maya for dinner,” Abby said and saw the knowing smile on all three women’s faces. “What? What did I say?”

  “I just think that it’s wonderful that you’re dating Dean Hughes,” Bette said as she put her keys away. “It’s been nice to see him out and about with you these last couple of weeks. And what a blessing you are to his niece.”

  “Oh...um...”

  “I agree,” Alima said as they started to walk away from the building. “I’m sure the two of them would be lost without you. Such a sad situation. Dean’s lucky to have you.”

  “Uh...”

  “I think the three of you just make the sweetest looking little family,” Millie added and then let out a light giggle. “That’s exactly what I think whenever I see you together. I’m so happy for all of you.”

  “Dean and I are just dating,” Abby said, feeling the need to clarify things. No need for people to start gossiping and speculating. It was one thing for her to be wishing for more or seeing more to their relationship than maybe there was, but the last thing she needed was for people to start talking like this to Dean. They’d probably scare him off!

  “Oh...well, I just thought...” Millie began, “it seemed like...”

  Abby waved her off. “It’s okay. Really. But I need to get going to meet them! Have a good night!” Thanking Millie, Bette and Alima one more time, she ran to her car and then sat and let everything that just happened sink in.

  Her own studio.

  Her own business.

  In Silver Bell Falls.

  It was a dream come true.

  And while she was thrilled and excited and practically bouncing in her seat, the practical side of her began to kick in and reminded her of everything she was going to have to do over the next few weeks and how – like she had mentioned to Dean earlier – she wasn’t going to get a break after New Year’s. It was going to be like stepping from one form of chaos into another.

  Yes, but it’s chaos for the greater good! She reminded herself.

  Teaching the classes and prepping for all of the holiday festivities was great for her students and the town. It all always left her feeling good, but there was a bit of a letdown at the end of each holiday season when it was just her sitting by herself. She knew how happy the performances made the residents of her beloved town, but...at the end of the day, she was celebrating alone.

  Not anymore.

  True, now she had Dean and Maya to share all of this with, and her mom too, but...with so much on her plate, how much time was she really going to be able to spend with them over the next couple of months? The holidays, the renovations and then getting the studio started and then...

  “My head hurts from all of this,” she murmured, resting her head on the back of her seat. When she started her car, she saw it was almost time to meet Dean and Maya at the diner, but she had a few extra minutes and decided to call her mom and tell her the news.

  Then she’d go and celebrate with her two favorite Silver Bell residents and hope that they would understand when she explained that their already-limited time together was about to get even more limited.

  But it wasn’t forever and it was for a good cause.

  Dean would understand, right?

  Twelve

  After dinner, they walked out to their cars together and Dean helped Maya into her booster seat before turning to Abby. “So this is all great news, right?”

  She was smiling and nodding and talking about all of her plans but Dean was having a hard time feeling excited for her. He saw the happiness on her face and heard the enthusiasm in her voice and yet it all meant one thing – less time together.

  It was selfishness, pure and simple and yet...he couldn’t help it.

  Here he was ready to pour out his heart and ask her to plan her future with him but she was suddenly busy making plans for a future without him.

  Okay, dramatic much? He chided himself.

  It wasn’t like she was cutting him out of her life, but it kind of felt that way. In all of her talk about the plans for the next several months, he wasn’t mentioned once. She wasn’t asking him for any help or any input. Abby simply had a plan in place that didn’t include him.

  And that stung.

  A lot.

  Word had spread around Silver Bell pretty fast because all through dinner, people came over to the table to congratulate her and tell her how they were planning on volunteering to help her get the new dance studio ready for spring classes. And through it all Dean had smiled and said how happy he was and Maya had chimed in to talk about how excited she was for a new dance studio.

  And he felt like a traitor.

  Why now?

  Why did everything have to change right now?

  “What do you say to pizza and Netflix Friday night?” he asked, hoping that he didn’t come off sounding as annoyed as he thought he did.

  Abby looked at him oddly. “Dean, I was just telling you about how I’m going to be working with the festival committee on props for the recital on Friday night.” She chuckled. “Sorry.” Then she kissed him on the cheek. “I know I’ve been talking a lot tonight. I’m just...gah! I just can’t believe this is all really happening! I know earlier I was all freaked out about how much I have to do and how it was killing me, but now? I’m kind of jazzed up about it! My mind is just racing and racing and racing and...ooh! I should probably see about calling my girlfriend Jacqueline. She used to study jazz. She lives in Albany now but maybe she’d consider coming and teaching here.”

  Pulling out her phone, Dean watched as she began to furiously type out a text message and he sighed. “Abby...?”

  “I really should go. I feel like I have a million phone calls to make and it’s already getting late.” She looked up at him and smiled. “I’ll see you Friday for Maya’s class.”

  When she turned to walk away, something in him snapped.

  “So that’s it?” he asked loudly.

  “What do you...?”

  “Abby, I get that you’re excited and that you have a lot to do but...what’s going on here? With us?”

  He almost cringed at how needy he sounded.

  “What are you talking about?”

  Sighing with frustration, he raked a hand through his hair and stared at her. “I have listened to you talk for the last ninety minutes about all that you have planned for the next several months and you know what you left out?”

  Brow furrowed, he could tell that she was trying to figure it out and that just served to tick him off more.

  “Me! Maya! You have all these plans, Abby, and not once did you mention spendi
ng time with us!”

  Abby’s eyes went wide at his words.

  “How do you think that makes me feel?” he asked, his own voice gruff with emotion.

  “Dean, I...I don’t even know what to say to that,” she said and she sounded more than a little bit cautious.

  Taking a steadying breath, he did his best to calm down. The car door was open and although they were standing several feet away, he didn’t want Maya to hear the conversation. “Look, I really am happy for you because I know this whole studio thing is what you’ve been wanting – what you’ve been working toward. But what about us? I feel like we’ve gotten into a good place together and that you’re just putting us aside.”

  “I guess...I mean I didn’t think it would be a big deal. In my mind, I saw this as part of my job and that you’d understand that. If your job was going to keep you busy, I know I would understand. I might not like it and I’d miss you and our time together but I’d never make you choose.”

  Was that what he was really asking? He wondered.

  Unfortunately, he knew the answer.

  He was.

  “It’s not just me, Abby. There’s Maya and she looks forward to her time with you and seeing you after school and...”

  “Is that what this is about?” she asked, irritation clearly lacing her tone. “Are you worried because I won’t be as readily available to help you with Maya after school? Because if we are, then you should remember that from the very beginning, I said I would help until you got things worked out. I never said I could do it forever.”

  Okay, now they were getting somewhere and it wasn’t good.

  “That’s not what I was getting at,” he countered. “All I was saying was that it’s not just me and you in this relationship. There are three of us and...”

  “And I get that, Dean. I really do. But you’re basically telling me that I can either have my dream job or you and Maya! How is that fair?”

  “It’s not...”

  “But it is,” she said flatly. “You know, when I was done touring the building tonight, I couldn’t wait to come and share the news with you. I couldn’t wait to bring you over and show it to you and walk around the place and tell you my ideas.” Taking a step back, she quickly swiped at her eyes and Dean suspected she was on the verge of crying. “I didn’t expect this – the building, the town helping out so much, or you and Maya. I never expected any of it.”

  “Abby,” he said softly, but as he took a step toward her, she took a step back. “I didn’t expect any of this either.” And then he decided to lay it all out on the line. “But now that I found you and I see the direction my life is taking, I’m excited about it. I think of the future – our future – and it’s like I can’t wait for it to start!”

  “Dean...”

  “I want to marry you and have a family with you,” he said earnestly. “Don’t you get that? For the first time in my life I’m actually ready to live my life and I want to live it with you!”

  Tears flowed down Abby’s cheeks faster than she could wipe them away. “I want all of that too,” she said quietly. “I really do. You have no idea how happy it makes me to see you out and embracing life and how easily you’ve transitioned into the role of father to Maya.”

  And that’s when it hit him.

  There was going to be a “but.”

  “But...” he promoted, his throat felt raw even as he said it.

  “But...” she began and then took a moment to seemingly collect her thoughts. “This is something I have to do right now. And it shouldn’t be something that I have to choose between.” Taking a step toward him, Abby reached for his hands but he held back. “We can have everything you mentioned, Dean. We can. It’s just not going to happen right this minute. I mean...you weren’t thinking of us getting married now were you?”

  In for a penny...

  “I was.” Defiance echoed through his words as he held himself stiffly before her. “I wanted us to get married while your mother was here. I thought it would be the perfect time because you’d be done with the recitals and the parades and the holidays and...it made perfect sense.”

  A small smile crossed those beautiful lips, but it was a sad one. “Oh.”

  “Yeah...oh.”

  “You’ve obviously thought a lot about this.”

  He nodded.

  “You gave yourself the time to think about it and figure it out and from where I’m standing, it all works out very well for you. The problem is...you never talked to me about this. You never took the time to let me figure things out.” She shook her head and looked down at the ground before meeting his gaze again. “You didn’t take the time to get to know me.”

  “I do know you, Abby, and that’s why I fell in love with you. You’re this amazing woman who brings laughter and light into everyone’s lives, especially into my life. Before I met you, it was like I was a half of a person, living half of a life. When I’m with you, I feel whole – like I never have before in my life. And when I’m not with you, a part of me is missing.”

  “Do you hear what you’re saying?” she asked, her voice barely a whisper. “It’s all about how you feel and your life.”

  Her shoulders sagged as she took a small step back and that’s when he knew.

  He’d lost her.

  “I can’t do this right now, Dean,” she said after a long moment. “I think...I think we need some time apart.”

  “Abby...”

  But she shook her head to stop him. “It’s kind of clear that we both have a lot to think about and I can’t do that standing here with you in the middle of a parking lot.” She wiped more tears away. “I...I gotta go.”

  And then she turned and walked away and possibly out of his life.

  ****

  How it was possible to go through the twelve stages of grief during a twelve-minute drive, Abby wasn’t sure. And yet...she’d done it.

  Okay, not twelve, but at least five.

  Dammit.

  It wasn’t until she was inside her house and taking off her coat that she was able to just let loose like she wanted – needed – to.

  Blindsided. That was the only way she could fully describe how she felt. Collapsing on her sofa, she tried to recall any conversation she and Dean had ever had that could have prepared her for this, but there were none. While Abby knew where her feelings for him were going – were actually already there – she hadn’t realized that Dean felt the same way.

  Marriage? Already? The only time they talked about that was after Maya had made that comment to him and it was one time! When had he suddenly come to this decision? And what was his rush? Abby understood his reasoning to a point – he was finally excited about the future but...what he was suggesting wasn’t practical!

  Was it?

  And asking her to choose between her dream job and him? How was that fair? They had been talking about this almost since the beginning of their relationship. Abby never tried to hide what she wanted or what she was trying to achieve – with Millie’s help! So now that it was actually happening, why was he so against it?

  So where did this leave her? What was she supposed to do and how was she supposed to choose or decide?

  “I want them both,” she sighed.

  And that was it, really. That was her decision. She wanted Dean. She wanted Maya. And she wanted her studio.

  Couldn’t he see that the studio would be something for them to work on together? That it was going to be a place that Maya would benefit from? Hell, it was some place that Abby would benefit from because it was going to be hers and it made her happy! She’d be able to dance all day and share her love of it with so many others! Didn’t her happiness play into his plans at all?

  Sadness overwhelmed her.

  Why should Dean be any different? It would seem that this was the pattern of her life. Abby was a giver. She would do anything to help a friend and she never expected anything in return.

  And that’s usually what she got.

 
She’d been taken advantage of more than her fair share and as much as it pained her even to think about it, maybe that was Dean’s deal all along and he was just doing his best to sugarcoat the situation.

  Maybe he didn’t really love her and all she’d been was a convenience to help him through a difficult time.

  Tears burned her eyes but for the first time tonight, she didn’t fight them or try to hold them back. She let them fall.

  And they continued to fall for a very long time.

  ****

  Abby walked around town like a zombie the next day.

  Bette had attributed the dark circles under her eyes to staying up all night celebrating. Gwenn at the bank mistook Abby’s quiet demeanor for nerves. When she arrived at the diner for work, though, Bev took one look at her and knew something was wrong.

  “Okay, sit,” she ordered once Abby came out of the back room.

  Looking around the diner, Abby saw it was empty. “I’ve got stuff to do, Bev, and I was already five minutes late.”

  “Dan! Do you care that Abby was five minutes late?” she called out.

  “Nope! Find out why she looks like someone just killed her dog!” Dan called out from the kitchen.

  With a sigh, Abby sat at the counter and put her head down.

  “That bad, huh?”

  “You have no idea,” Abby replied and then took a minute before sitting back up.

  Bev placed a cup of coffee in front of her. “I thought you’d come in here dancing this morning. Pictured you doing one of those leap things and twirling all around. So what happened?”

  They had been working together for the last year and Abby didn’t hide anything about her relationship with Dean from her co-worker. They were friends and even though Bev was closer to Abby’s mom’s age, she still considered her to be one of her dearest friends.

  So she told her all about what happened the previous evening – from the time Dean showed up to pick up Maya from class until they parted ways in the diner parking lot. It felt good to say it all out loud and when she was done, she let out a long breath.

  “Am I wrong?” she asked quietly. “Is it wrong for me to want it all?”