Summer's Temptation

by Ashley Lynn Willis

  Tyler slept with another girl.

  I stiffen in his arms, my mind filled with the image of her legs wrapped around his waist. Did he give her as much pleasure as he’s given me? Did he take her over and over, or did he stop after one time? Did he think she was better in bed than me? Prettier than me? Did she do things to him I haven’t? Jealousy tries to grab a foothold in my heart and turn into righteous anger, but I’m so drained that it sputters and fizzles, barely sparking enough fire to ignite irritation.

  “Am I hurting you?” Tyler loosens his hold on me. He sounds so damn concerned, as though my well-being is the most important thing in the world to him.

  Why can’t I stay angry at him? He’s an asshole who thinks with his dick, but just smelling him sends my heart into overdrive. I want to wrap myself in him and never let go. I can’t even hold onto my stiffened muscles, and I relax, eliminating the space between us. “I’m fine.”

  He feels so inviting, like a warm bath on a blizzardy day. I’ve missed his touch, his lips against my skin, the sound of his voice. I deserve a moment of bliss with him. Right? I mean, yes, I have to end this, but for just a moment, I can pretend everything is fine and let him hold me. After all I’ve been through, would that be so wrong?

  He squeezes me tighter as if answering my question with his warm touch. He’s mine—for now. That’s enough. His warmth spreads through my body like the flames of a slowly burning fire. I sigh, my mind blessedly blank of everything but him. God, he feels good.

  I clear my throat, trying to think of something to say to delay the inevitable. “When did you get my telescope?”

  He massages my hip with his fingers. “The day after you were bitten. Monday.”

  I thought he’d left town that day. “Hannah said they couldn’t find you the next day.”

  “I dropped it off at my house then left. Dylan and Josh were probably at the hospital with Hannah.”

  If I’d lost my telescope, I would have lost my last piece of my grandfather. That would have been an emotional pain I couldn’t bear. “Thanks for getting it. You’ve saved me a lot of grief.” I rest my hand on top of his, stilling his fingers. “Where did you go this week?”

  He flips his hand over so our palms press together and intertwines his fingers with mine. “I stayed with my brother for a couple of days.”

  I want to know why he ran from me, but I’m a little scared of the answer. Maybe he just wanted to get away because I’m a pain in the ass.

  “I missed you,” he says, pressing a kiss below my ear.

  I missed him too, but I also want to strangle him for ruining what might have been something good between us.

  “Something wrong?” he asks.

  Yes. You fucked someone else. I swallow the words. “Why didn’t you come visit me in the hospital?”

  He rises up on his elbow and looks at me. The sun has nearly set, and shadows mute the planes of his face. I roll on my back and stare at him.

  He twists a long strand of my hair around one finger and lets it uncoil. “I wanted to, cupcake. You have to believe me. I just… couldn’t.”

  I feel my mouth set hard, and I tilt my head away from him, my gaze going to the window. He sighs and places a finger under my chin. With a touch so light I barely feel it, he turns my face toward him, and I slide my gaze back to his.

  “The first time I visited someone in a hospital, they died. The second time I visited someone in a hospital, they died too. I didn’t want to make it three for three.”

  I search his face for the emotion behind his words, but the shadows crossing his features make him impossible to read. “You’re not the harbinger of death.”

  “I know.” He runs the tip of a finger down the curve of my cheek and swallows hard enough to make his Adam’s apple bob. “I couldn’t make that walk down a sterile hallway to your room. It reminded me of every time before.”

  I lick my dry lips and rub them together, trying to keep from being nosy. I’m sure Tyler’s told me more than he wants to, but this will probably be my last chance to know him, and I don’t want to lose it. I place my palm against his cheek and stroke under his eye with my thumb. “Who died?”

  He leans into my hand. “My mom.”

  “Who else?”

  “Someone I don’t want to talk about. Not right now, anyway.”

  I remember our conversation at the lake in bits and pieces. I’m pretty sure he mentioned his girlfriend being at the hospital where we supposedly first met, but I don’t feel comfortable flat-out asking about her when he doesn’t want to discuss it. I guess I’ll never know. My eyes adjust to the dark settling over the room. I make out a deep crease lining the space between his brows, and I reach out to smooth it away. “I don’t mean to pry.”

  “I know you don’t.” He presses a kiss to the corner of my mouth.

  I’m surprised by how much my drug-addled body responds. I arch into him, threading my fingers through his dark hair. At first, his lips move hesitantly, applying the slightest pressure, but I want our last kiss to count. I remedy his carefulness by stretching my neck and using my hands in his hair to press him down. His lips crash against mine just the way I like it—hard and greedy. His breathing grows shallow, and he moans a kind of strangled sound against my lips. I feel him lifting away, and I try harder to hold him in place.

  “I don’t want to hurt you, cupcake.” He tugs my hands from his hair.

  Too late for that, I think absently.

  “Can I see your leg?” he asks, sitting up. He reaches over me and turns on the bedside lamp.

  I blink against the brightness. “Sure.”

  He sits beside me, and as he peers at my face, he startles, his big body jerking. I know what he sees. Under-eye circles so dark, they look like bruises. Hollowed cheeks. Sallow skin. Bloodshot eyes. Hair that’s dull and messy.

  “How much weight have you lost?” he asks as he pulls away the sheet covering my body. His eyes travel down my pajama top to my waist, and his brows draw low. I can tell by the way his mouth moves that he’s biting the inside of his lip.

  “I don’t know. I haven’t stepped on a scale in a while.” I’m down at least ten pounds. Even my breasts look smaller beneath my spaghetti-strap top. Between Wyatt dumping me and the snakebite, I’m pretty sure I’m the smallest I’ve been since junior-high.

  Based on Tyler’s scowl, he doesn’t like it. “How about I go get you something to eat? McDonald’s, Chick-fil-A, Jack-in-the-Box? Or I can make you something. I think we have chicken and ground beef in the freezer.”

  “It’s fine, Tyler. My mom stocked the refrigerator before she left, and she’s coming back tomorrow to stay a few days. I’m sure she’ll be shoving food down my throat.”

  He shakes his head. “You don’t look well.”

  “I’m not. But I will be.” I blink at him, noticing the dark circles under his eyes. They’re nearly as bad as my own. I touch the bruised skin.

  He wraps his hand around my wrist and brings my palm to his mouth, kissing the sensitive skin.

  “You look tired,” I say.

  He presses my open hand to his T-shirt-clad chest. “Haven’t been sleeping so well.”

  I feel his heartbeat beneath my fingers, and I’m so tempted to ask him to stay the night so I can listen to his heart while I sleep. “You wanted to see my leg,” I remind him, needing to put distance between us.

  He releases my hand and scoots toward the end of the bed, drawing the covers down as he goes. My calf’s still purple, but in places, like above the bite, it’s fading to a green tint. He runs a finger over the bite mark, two red punctures surrounded by inflamed skin. “It’s healing okay?”

  “The doctor says it is.”

  “When will you be able to walk again?”

  “I’m doing physical therapy every morning for a week. I should be okay by the end of it. I’ll use crutches to get around until then.” I try to snicker, but it comes out more as a cough. “Or I’ll torture Liz for all the times she’s
been a bitch and make her wait on me hand and foot.”

  With a completely serious expression, he says, “I’ll wait on you hand and foot.”

  Oh, that’s so tempting, but I can’t pretend any longer. This thing between us is over. He’s not mine. I couldn’t keep him if I wanted to, but watching him caress my leg, I consider putting it off, even if drawing out the end will only cause more pain. An ache builds deep inside me. I try to shake it off, to hold on to this moment for just a few seconds longer, but the hurt won’t budge. It settles over my heart like a blanket, and I’m pretty sure I won’t be shedding it anytime soon.

  “I don’t think that’s a good idea, Tyler.”

  He kneels on the floor by the bed, places one hand on my knee, the other on my ankle. He’s so focused on the red swollen skin, I’m not sure he heard me.

  “Tyler?”

  He leans down, and so carefully I barely register his touch, he places a kiss on the wound. When he’s done, he raises an inch and turns his face toward me.

  “Stop being so sweet,” I whisper. It makes my heart shatter into tiny pieces I’m not sure I can puzzle back together again.

  He tugs his bottom lip into his mouth, still staring at me. The way he looks at me, as if I’m his world, makes me wonder if he regrets the girl he took home. I want to ask him, but deep down, I know it doesn’t matter if he regrets her or not. He still hooked up with her out of anger, and I could never trust him not to do it again when things got tough between us.

  “You can’t stay mad at me forever, cupcake. I really did mean it when I said I wanted to visit you. I just couldn’t.”

  “I’m not mad about that. Hurt a little, but not mad.”

  He throws me a signature one-sided grin, and it mends the ache in my heart a little. “I’ll make it up to you, I promise.”

  No, he won’t. He’ll never have the chance. “We need to talk.”

  He leans back on his knees, hands still on my leg. “About?”

  I stare at him, not blinking. My emotions are like a nuclear reactor on meltdown. “Us.”

  His eyes sharpen, and the smile falls away. “Okay. What about us?”

  His hair hangs in his eyes, and I push it aside, wanting to see his blue eyes and read the emotion behind them as I speak. I know it’s not kind, but part of me wants him to be as torn up about the end of our relationship as I am. Even a tiny hint of emotion will go a long way in making me feel as though I’m not the only one wrapped up in this thing. I don’t want to be the only one who’s sad to see it end.

  “I’m getting in over my head with you, Tyler.” I say it quickly, afraid if I take my time finding the perfect words, it’ll come out wrong.

  At first, Tyler’s forehead furrows as though he doesn’t understand what I’m saying, but he perks up quickly, his eyes clearing. “Wait. What?” He shakes his head, the creases on his brow releasing. “What does that mean? Like, you’re falling for me?”

  I nod. I guess I should add that I want to end our relationship, but for completely selfish reasons, I don’t. I want to know how he’ll react; will learning I have feelings for him horrify him? He jumps up and straddles my thighs. His shin brushes the snakebite, and I moan from pain, my body tensing.

  “Shit! Sorry, Cassie.” He widens his legs, grasps my shoulders to steady himself, and stares at my injured calf. “Are you okay?”

  “Fine,” I squeak in a strained voice that betrays my lie. After a few shallow breaths, the ache subsides. “I’m fine.” My tone is more relaxed as my pain-stiffened muscles unlock.

  His fingers hook over my shoulders, and he squeezes gently. “Do you have any idea how much I’ve wanted to hear that?”

  “That I’m okay or”—this is so hard to say—“that I’m falling for you?”

  He smiles so wide, it seems to crack his face open with light. “What do you think?”

  I wet my bottom lip with my tongue. “That I’m falling for you.”

  “Hell, yes.” He looks lighter, his shoulders less strained, and his face is full of blue skies and sunshine and everything nice about a summer day. “I’m drowning in you, cupcake. I can’t believe you haven’t figured that out already.”

  I bring my finger up and trace the curve of his cheek down to his mouth. If I’d known how much joy it would have brought him, I’d have texted my feelings without a second thought when I was laid up in the hospital. “You want me.” That had always been a possibility in the back of my mind. He’d done so many things to make me wonder, but obviously I had major doubts. I’m completely blown away by his happiness.

  “You couldn’t tell?” he says, catching my wrist and planting a delicate kiss on the inside.

  I guess I thought it was too crazy to be true. I mean, shouldn’t the world cease to exist right now?

  “You didn’t know,” he whispers. “How could you be so dense?”

  “You’re calling me stupid?”

  “No. God, no. You’re one of the smartest people I know. You might even be smarter than me…” He smiles his cocky grin, but there’s an edge of orneriness to it. “But I doubt it.”

  I jerk my hand from him and slap his shoulder. “I’m totally smarter than you.”

  His smile never breaks, and his dimples grow deeper. “Yeah, I know. That’s one of the reasons I like you so much. You see straight through my shit.”

  I see through everything with him, straight through his arrogant façade to the sweet guy underneath. Oh, God, why am I smiling at him like a lunatic? This conversation is only headed in one direction, and it doesn’t involve a heart-to-heart and gushy feelings. We’re having the moment I dreamed about in the hospital when I was ready to open my heart to him, and now that it’s happening, it means nothing. I shake my head. “I can’t believe this.”

  “Okay, I take it back. You’re totally not smarter than me. How could you have not known? You’ve turned me into a freakin’ girl. All I want is to spend time with you. Do you know how many times I went to the hospital and tried to talk myself into going in? At least a dozen. I wanted to see you so badly…”

  “But it wasn’t enough.” Not enough to make him visit me. Not enough to keep him out of another girl’s arms.

  His smile dims a little but not enough to remotely erase it. “Trust me, I feel like a failure. If you’re ever in the hospital again, I’ll have Josh knock me out and carry me up to your room.”

  I go quiet, retreating into myself while I try to figure this out. He wants to be with me. He’s grinning like a fool, and he’s telling me he cares about me. I can’t speak; my emotions are all over the place. Happy. Sad. Exultant. Hurt.

  “Say something, cupcake.”

  His eyes are so blue, so full of promise and revelations. And this is a revelation, these feelings we share. Maybe he can be mine. Maybe these feelings he has for me didn’t grow gradually. Maybe they were as much a shock to him as they were to me. I hadn’t known how deep my emotions ran for Tyler until Mr. Westbrook kissed me. Maybe he didn’t know how much I meant to him until some outside force—like a snake—made him acknowledge it.

  My stomach folds in on itself as I clutch my comforter. I’m so scared to ask him. What if he doesn’t answer right? I don’t want to lose him, but this is my last hope of keeping him.

  “When did you know you cared for me?” I take a shaky breath, praying he understands what I’m asking. “When did you realize you wanted to be with me?”

  Tears pool at the corners of my eyes. Please tell me you didn’t know until I was bitten by the snake. You realized you couldn’t bear to live without me. You realized you were falling for me the same way I’m falling for you. Please let that be the truth.

  Chapter 25

  Tyler’s smile slowly disappears as if he realizes something serious is going on, and this moment isn’t all about sweet declarations of love. “Why are you crying?” He wipes my tears with his fingers.

  “Answer me.” My fists are clenched so tight, my nails bite through the comforter and into my sk
in.

  “I don’t know, Cassie.” He trails a fingertip over my cheek and stares at me as if he’s trying to deduce what I want to hear. “ Sometimes I think I’ve felt this way forever.”

  “But when did you know for sure?”

  He moistens his bottom lip. “The first time we made love.”

  The way he says it sounds so sweet. I can almost pretend it’s the right answer. We hadn’t fucked; we’d made love. He’d felt it too. So why did he have to screw this up irreparably?

  He presses his forehead to mine. The heat of his breath whispers across my lips. “Do you have any idea how long I’ve waited for you to tell me you’re falling for me? Three months is a long time, cupcake.”

  Tears cascade down my cheeks.

  He must think I’m crying out of happiness because he keeps going, even though he’s only driving the knife deeper. “I worked my ass off trying to make you forget Wyatt. I wasn’t even sure if we’d get past your stupid rules. Then we seemed to be making some headway, and you went ballistic on me for following you to the lake. Do you know how many times I nearly gave up? But I couldn’t, cupcake. You’re the best thing that’s happened to me in… well, ever.”

  He bridges the inch between our mouths and kisses me. I feel his eyelashes flutter as he closes his eyes and surrenders to a moment that’s a sweet union for him. His hands thread through my hair, tilting my head so that our lips meet at the perfect angle. His mouth moves softly against mine, not hesitant but not aggressive. It’s a perfect kiss for what should be a perfect moment, but my eyes are open, and my lips are hard and firm against his. My mouth refuses to move and take what he’s offering.

  He stops kissing me, and his eyes open, showing a depth of confusion that twists my gut. How can he think this is okay? He’s hiding a truth to get what he wants. My tears have stopped, my emotions hijacked by an anger that’s only possible when you know just how much you’ve lost.