Collecting Smiles

by Melody Burris

  Chapter Five

  I went inside to clean up and to call my mom. The medical news was easy enough to report because once she knew I was fine she moved onto my date. I was surprised I didn’t get busted for not telling her all the medical details, so I let her pump me for Andy info.

  Eventually she dragged everything out of me, down to his holding my hand on Sunday. Saying it all out loud had just made it so much more real. It was forty-five minutes later when I convinced her that I needed to eat and do some homework. She was pleased that I was going out with Andy again but I carefully didn't promise a report.

  I cried myself quietly to sleep that night. It was often like this for me when the worry and stress were over. At least I wouldn’t have to deal with it for another year.

  When I had first been diagnosed, it was scary, but I had so many people around me all the time that I never had much time to worry. The doctors were always so optimistic and my friends were always cheering me up. It was a new experience not to have anyone around to talk to about this kind of stuff. I missed Spencer and I started to feel lonely. Maybe I should tell someone here. Now that it was over, they wouldn’t have to be worried for me, right?

  Friday Andy picked me up in his spotless car again. We drove downtown and he led me to a lowly lit back dining room. Each table was draped with a white table cloth and each had a glowing candle in the center. On one side of the room, there was a balcony with wrought iron railing. I could see there were four more tables up there.

  Shadows moved on the walls as the candles flickered in the slight breeze we made as we passed. “Upstairs, please.” Andy said placing a strong emphasis on the please. The hostess sighed and held her hand out to the rod iron staircase that led to the balcony. “Thanks.” Andy said as he grabbed my hand and led the way to our table.

  From the balcony, I could see only the far side of the room and it was much quieter. The soft music being piped into the room didn't quite reach us. “This is so beautiful,” I said impressed. “You work here?”

  “Yep, were lucky to get the balcony. It's a bit of a pain to wait on the tables up here so the hostess tries to avoid them.”

  “The whole room is beautiful. I don't mind sitting downstairs if it's easier.”

  “It’s fine,” he assured me. “I know the waiter who has this station, we're friends. Besides I'll just leave him a big tip; he’ll love me. I like how quiet it is up here, don't you?”

  He was still holding my hand and I felt self-conscious as he gazed into my eyes. I pulled my hand and my eyes away so that I could focus on the menu.

  “Everything looks so good. What's their specialty?”

  “That's difficult to say but I would definitely try their enchiladas, if I were you; they're incredible.”

  “That sounds perfect.” I looked around at the stucco white walls dancing with the glow of the candle flames. “It even smells good in here.”

  “Yea, I try not to come to work hungry. It's torture.”

  “I would never have even known this place was here. It's hidden from the main streets.”

  “I think that adds to its charm. It feels secluded.”

  Max the waiter came tromping up the steps to take our order and I had to laugh at his expression when he saw Andy. He leaned in and whispered something into Andy's ear and Andy grinned. “Don't worry, I'll make it up to you. This is Megan,” he said, gesturing to me.

  “Hello, Megan. Don't let this guy give you a hard time. I get off at 8 if you need a ride home.” He winked at me and I giggled at the flirting attempt, mostly because of the expression on Andy’s face.

  “I don't think that will be necessary,” Andy said through gritted teeth. I laughed even harder. “And your tip is getting smaller, even as we speak.” Max took our order and excused himself making a loud show of clomping down the stairs.

  The food was heavenly and there was so much of it. I ate until I could eat no more, declining dessert. Andy seemed in no hurry to leave, so we talked and finished our sodas. I even picked at the food on my plate a little despite being full, it was just too good.

  I was expecting the night to end when we left the restaurant but Andy drove towards the Canyon. It was such a beautiful night and I was enjoying our conversation. The canyon was dark but I could occasionally see the outline of the rocks and trees. “Okay, I give up. Where are we going?”

  “I know a great place for dessert in Heber.”

  “Ice cream?”

  “Yep, I figure dinner should be settled by the time we get there.”

  “You're crazy, but I'm up for the adventure. Let's go.”

  He reached across and patted my knee. “I knew you would be. That is one of the great things about you, Megan. You are always up for an adventure.”

  “Within reason,” I teased. “I don't think getting ice cream in Yellowstone would be a good idea tonight.”

  “Oh, no! You guessed my surprise for next week. Can we go out again next week?”

  I thought about that for a minute. I really liked Andy. He was so much fun. “Rebekah will be here next weekend. I’m not sure what we will be doing but you can come with us.

  “Oh,” he sounded disappointed, “I have plans to avoid Rebekah while she is here remember?”

  “Oh, that’s right. Well, it’s your loss. We will be having a great time.”

  “Thanks for rubbing that in.”

  I woke up the next morning with a sore throat and a stuffy nose. At least with conference, I wouldn’t have to change my plans because I was sick. It would be a good day to stay in my pajamas. I set my computer up for a live stream and climbed back in bed just as my phone was ringing.

  “Come over and watch conference with us. We've got snacks.” Nathan said.

  “Thanks, but I'm sick.” I sneezed for emphasis.

  “Bummer. I was looking forward to some entertainment.”

  “You don't need entertainment. Conference is on,” I reminded him.

  “Well yeah, but it never hurts,” he admitted. “See you later. Maybe you’ll be better tomorrow.”

  I hung up my phone and closed my eyes trying not to focus on the pressure in my head. A moment later, my phone rang again. I moaned and answered it.

  “You're sick? Can I do anything?” It was Andy.

  “No, I'm just going to rest thanks.”

  “Feel better. If you need anything don’t hesitate to call me. I will be home all day except during priesthood session.”

  “Thanks.”

  I considered turning my phone all the way off but there was no reason anyone else would call. The rest of the day was sort of a blur. I woke to the sound of the organ music coming from my computer. Conference was starting. I sat up pulling my knees to my chest in an attempt to stay awake. My face felt heavy and so did my eyelids.

  Once the talks began, I was able to concentrate if I focused on the screen really hard. There was a beautiful talk about prayer and I enjoyed the combined choir from the SLC area. I did make it through the entire two hours without falling asleep but not much after that.

  My nose was running so much that the box of tissues by my bed was getting plenty of use. My face and head hurt making it hard to sleep but I kept trying.

  I could hear occasional sounds as I tossed and turned. Jackie must have come in our room at least once because I heard her rummage through her closet. I think I heard the doorbell or maybe it was someone’s phone.

  It was starting to get darker in my room when I woke up. My clock said it was after four. I moaned trying to clear my throat. I couldn’t believe I had slept through the afternoon session. It was way past time to get out of bed today. I needed to at least drink something or have some food, though nothing sounded good. I pulled on some sweats and a t-shirt and grabbed my wild hair back into a ponytail with a scrunchie.

  I felt so weak and tired as I dragged myself down the hallway. It was very disorienting to wake up with the late afternoon light coming through the windows. Kristen was in the kitchen c
ooking. I think my zombie like appearance startled her because she jumped just a little as I entered.

  “Megan, are you feeling any better? We didn't even know you were sick but then Andy came by and you were asleep.”

  “Andy came by?”

  She smiled and gestured toward the fridge. “He brought you some chicken soup. It looks homemade.”

  “I'm not surprised, Andy's a great cook.” I uncovered the pot and attempted a sniff. My sense of smell was gone and the soup didn’t look too appetizing all cold and congealed.

  “Do you want me to heat it up for you?”

  “No thanks. I think I can do it.” I took the small pot and placed it onto the stove. The microwave would be faster but it was already in the pot. I still didn’t feel like eating but he had gone to so much trouble. When the steam started rising I took a tentative bite. I couldn’t vouch for the taste but the warm broth felt good on my throat and the steam opened my sinuses a bit. I ate two bowls of it before going back to bed.

  The next morning I decided to clear my head with a hot shower before conference. Today, I would dress and sit in the living room with everyone else around Kristen's laptop. Then at least if I fell asleep someone would wake me up.

  The shower did wonders for my symptoms. I could smell that someone had just popped popcorn. I padded down the hall in my fuzzy slippers and my favorite comfortable sweats.

  The living room was full of roommates and friends. Tony was sitting by Kristen and Jackie had invited over the girls from next door. Melissa must be the one popping popcorn. I was looking for a place to sit when there was a knock at the door. It was Andy.

  “I was hoping you might be feeling well enough to have some company today.”

  “I do feel a little better. Thanks for the soup.”

  He smiled. “Can I come in and watch with you?” I opened the door wider and gestured for him to enter. He looked at the crowd gathered around the laptop and seemed to change his plans. “Do you think we could bundle you up and take you over to my place? You could rest and there's more room.”

  I sighed but nodded. “Give me a minute.” I walked down the hall and got my comforter. I wrapped it around myself and over my wet hair. Then we walked over to his apartment. Mark and Nathan were the only ones in the living room preparing for the start of the session. Andy took one look around the place and kicked them off the couch. “I can take the floor,” I insisted.

  “Not hardly,” Mark said, moving to the floor. Both he and Andy gave Nathan a look. Nathan brushed the couch cushion for me as he stood and saluted.

  “Mark's right, you get the couch,” Andy seconded. He frowned when I sat up and offered the rest to him. He was hesitating when John walked in the door with Emily and Andy had no choice but to sit beside me leaving the rest of the couch for someone else.

  “Wow, Megan, you look terrible,” Emily said.

  “She's sick,” Mark, Nathan and Andy all said together.

  “I've looked worse, I'm sure,” I said, smiling. John and Emily, who were holding hands, sat on the floor. Nathan stood and walked over to the couch, making me move down a space so that he couldn’t see them. Andy started to protest and I shook my head. He sighed but didn’t say anything. With everyone in place, conference began.

  Mark handed me a glass of water and during the talks would raise an eyebrow at me if I hadn’t taken a drink in a while. He refilled it twice before the session ended. I made it through the session but all that water made it necessary to run home and use the bathroom.

  While I was home in my apartment, I considered taking a nap but I knew the guys would wonder where I was. Instead, I printed a short baby name list I had found on the internet and headed back.

  We spent the time between sessions throwing around names for Andy's doodle. Some of the names had such crazy meanings. I was surprised. We ate leftover chicken soup and again it hit the spot. It felt good having friends with me and I was having fun despite the aching sinuses.

  By the time, conference began again my throat and head were hurting from laughing so much. We’d narrowed the name choice down to three: Spike, Bronson, and Petri. I was partial to Petri, because of its foreign feel. Andy said it sounded sissy. He seemed to like Spike but I thought that was too tough. Bronson was a sort of compromise. How did anyone ever agree on names for their children? I wondered how many people out there were walking around with a tie breaker name.

  As soon as the closing prayer was said, I made my excuses. It wasn’t that hard, I barely had a voice. Andy insisted on escorting me back. Though there wasn’t much he could do, the gentle pressure of his hand on my back was comforting. He gave me a quick hug and sent me in out of the wind.

  Monday morning I chose to attend classes. I was still stuffy and weak enough that I called into work. I wasn't sure I should be handling other people's food. I took another long nap in the late afternoon, skipping dinner and family home evening. I apologized to Jackie who was our FHE mom. She seemed disappointed that I wouldn't be there but I promised to help with next week’s activity if she needed me.

  I kept my routine very simple: classes, sleep, and repeat. Wednesday I was able to add work back into my schedule. All that rest was paying off and I was feeling better every day. By Thursday, I was all ready for Rebekah’s visit.

  After my class, I called Mark. I wasn’t sure what time we were leaving for Salt Lake. Andy answered, “Megan, how are you feeling? I’ve been wanted to see you all week but I wanted you to rest too.”

  “I’m better, thanks. It must have been all the well wishes and the chicken soup. What are you doing with Mark’s phone?

  “He’s sleeping. I told him I would get your call.”

  “He’s sleeping? Aren’t we supposed to be going soon?”

  “Yeah, it’s about time for him to wake up. I think he wants to leave at three.”

  “He isn’t sick is he?” It would be terrible if I’d made him sick for his sister’s visit.

  “No, he just worked a graveyard shift last night so that he would have the day off to get Rebekah. Wait, I’ll wake him up.”

  “Actually, I’ll just come by in a about half an hour. I haven’t had lunch yet.”

  “That’s good. He’ll need to get ready.”

  I hung up and made a quick sandwich. I was still a little stuffy so I jumped in the steamy shower for a few minutes. I was done and dressed by 2:45, so I walked over to see if Mark was ready yet.

  Mark was up, but he looked really sleepy. When his hair was wet it seemed more curly. His shower hadn’t woken him up enough. “Oh you’re here, good. Megan, do you think you can drive?”

  “I think I should.” I said looking at his puffy eyes. “Oh, but I can’t drive a stick.”

  “No problem,” Andy spoke up. He walked to the counter and tossed me his keys. “Take my car. I just filled it up.”

  “Thanks.” Mark said, giving his friend a very weak and sleepy punch in the arm.

  I motioned toward the door and then waved goodbye to Andy. He returned my wave and added a “drive safe.” There was also a big flirty smile that I added to my total.

  “We will.”

  We walked to Andy’s car that was just a few spaces away. “Wait here.” Mark said and he ran down to his truck that was at the end of the lot. I played with the seat adjustment while I waited.

  He returned a few minutes later with his arms full. “What’s all that?”

  “Map to Dad's hotel, Rebekah’s favorite candy bar in case she is hungry on the way back, a bottle of water, and some tissues.” He handed the last two items to me. “You’ve been sick, hydrate.”

  I smiled, opened the bottle dutifully, and took a drink. “You think of everything.”

  “Yeah, except for how tired I would be. Thanks for driving.”

  “I can read road signs and maps, you should sleep.”

  “Are you sure?”

  “Absolutely, I’ll just turn the radio on softly. If that won’t bother you?

  “N
ope.” He leaned the seat back a bit and closed his eyes. It was kind of fun to drive again, it had been almost two months. We were about to the Interstate when I heard a faint snore. I bit my lip so that I wouldn’t laugh out loud. He sounded so much like George. I’m sure with my stuffy nose I had been making all kinds of noise in my sleep lately too. At least he was getting some sleep; it was going to be a busy weekend.

  Just as we were entering the Salt Lake Valley, he woke up. “We have a while. You can sleep more.”

  “Can’t sleep anymore. I’m getting too excited.” He put the seat back up and his legs started to bounce up and down nervously. He looked at me and said, “It’s silly, I know. My parents keep telling me I need a life outside of the family. That’s one reason why they encouraged me to go to school here.”

  “I think it’s nice that you think about your family so much. I used to spend a lot of time with my brother, George.”

  “Not anymore?”

  “No, he’s engaged now. He didn’t even bother to call me to tell he was getting married.”

  “Oh, too busy huh?”

  “Something like that.”

  We sat a few minutes in silence while I tried to find my way through the maze of freeways. When I was sure I was heading in the right direction, I said, “I can't believe I'm doing this, but can I tell you something?” It was something I had been thinking of this week. I surprised myself because it wasn’t until this moment that I knew I was going to tell and whom I would tell. It just seemed right to have someone know my secret and I knew Mark would get it.

  “Sure, you can tell me.” Then he hesitated, “It isn't about Andy is it?”

  I smiled. “Nope.”

  He sat up straighter. “Shoot.”

  “Remember when you asked me if there was something wrong a couple of weeks ago?”

  “Yes.”

  “Well it was time for my annual cancer follow up and I really hate those appointments.”

  Mark sat stunned for a moment. “Go on.”

  “I was diagnosed when I was 16. It was kind of a big deal, but it's over and I wish I could just forget it, you know?”

  “But you have to be checked every year and it just brings everything up again.” He nodded as if he understood and I did feel better. “Did the check go well?”

  “Yes, mostly. There was a little scare, but the tests came back clean.”

  “Why didn't you say anything? We could have helped you through it.”

  “I didn't want anyone to get down because of me. I make my mom worried enough. Besides the less people who know the easier it is to forget it.”

  “I'm glad you told me, but why did you, if you feel that way about it?”

  “I'm not sure, I guess I just needed one friend who I could talk about it with. My friend Spencer is normally the one I talk to about this stuff, but he’s on his mission now. Anyway, enough of that, I think the hotel is on this street. Help me watch for the address.”

  Mark grabbed the paper from the space between us, allowing me to change the subject without comment. “Yeah, it looks like the next block is it. Wait, I see it. Pull in up there.” He pointed to the small two story hotel on the left just a half a block away. I changed lanes and drove into the parking lot. The traffic had been hectic but I was used to traffic. Even though I had just confessed my secret, I didn’t feel weird, just less lonely. Mark's enthusiasm was showing again as we made our way through the parking lot.

  “Where should I park?”

  “Drive around and I will look for my dad's car. There, see the white land barge; that's it.” I laughed at the description.

  “Don't laugh. Trust me, my dad needs the space. When I was little I used to try to climb him, pretending to be Spiderman.”

  “Big?”

  “Building big, but soft as a teddy bear.”

  “He sounds nice.” I pulled into a space just two cars down from the barge.

  “We need their room number, but I want to surprise them.

  “Maybe we can get it from the front desk?”

  “I will, but before I go…” He reached across and grabbed my hand. “…thanks for trusting me.” He squeezed it and then let it go. I sat stunned for a minute, then undid my seatbelt so that I could go with him. “You don't have to come. I won't be long.”

  “I don't mind, then we can go straight to the room, unless you wanted to see them alone?”

  “No. I want you to meet them. Everyone should get a chance to be hugged by my dad. Come on.”