Begin Again (Saint Lakes #5): A M/M Fantasy Romance about Shifters and Vampires

by April Kelley

  Maybe she didn’t intend for the meeting at all, but it had just happened. If Josh were harassing Kristin, he’d have a problem with Ramsey.

  “I’m tired, Josh. You’ve made me tired with this whole fucked up thing. Aren’t you sick of the back and forth we do with each other.” Kristin sighed and shook her head. Her shoulders came up to her ears, and she moved her arms lower, hugging herself around the middle. “Just go back to your daddy and leave me alone. That’s what you want, right? Permission from me to do what you’re going to anyway. So just go.”

  “That’s not why I’m here.” Josh tried to reach out of Kristin, but she took a step to the side.

  She glared at him, and he lowered his hand. “Don’t touch me, Josh. I mean it.”

  Josh hung his head. “Sorry.”

  Kristin folded her arms over her chest and her eyes narrowed. “I haven’t needed you since the day you rejected me, so back the fuck off, Josh.”

  Josh sighed. “Stubborn woman.”

  Those two words would set Kristin off like a rocket, and she’d say things she didn’t mean. Of all Ramsey’s siblings, Kristin was the strongest, and she was also the most vocal when someone hurt her feelings as Josh obviously had a long time ago.

  Ramsey would bet money on them being mates.

  Ramsey came up to the surface of the water with a splash, gaining their attention. He shifted even before he was out of the water. The frigid weather penetrated his human skin, sending shockwaves through him. Goosebumps sprung out on his skin.

  Kristin and Josh both followed his movements as he stood on the bank of the lake.

  “You here for a reason?” Ramsey met Kristin’s gaze when he spoke.

  She visibly relaxed. Her arms fell to her sides, and her shoulders lowered. She smiled and took a step in his direction. “Yeah. Garridan sent me to come get you.”

  Ramsey looked at Josh and then back at his sister, silently asking her if she needed help. She shook her head, indicating she didn’t want to talk about it, which was the response he expected. Ramsey wouldn’t butt his nose into the situation any more than eavesdropping already had, so he just nodded.

  “Follow me inside, Kristin.” Ramsey didn’t wait for Kristin to follow or Josh to leave. The drops of water clinging to his skin drove the cold into his muscles quicker than it normally would have. The familiarity of the feeling drove him to seek the warmth of his cabin. “Go home, Josh.”

  “Kristin.” Josh’s voice held a pleading quality to it. Ramsey didn’t have a mate and didn’t understand how the physical and hormonal changes felt. Maybe the utter defeat in Josh’s voice had something to do with the mating hormones, or maybe Kristin really was being unreasonable. Ramsey didn’t know the history of their relationship, mostly because Kristin kept the hard situations of her life to herself and always had.

  The second he opened the door to his cabin the warmth washed over him, and he sighed. He heard Kristin behind him. Clothing rustled around, and her shoes hit the rubber mat right inside the door. Ramsey went to the bedroom and quickly dressed.

  “Thanks for sending him away. He was starting to piss me off.” Kristin was close by, probably standing right outside the door with her back against the wall, giving him some semblance of privacy while still needing the emotional closeness.

  “He doesn’t know you very well.” Calling her stubborn was a bad move. Anyone who knew Kristin knew that. The word did fit her well, though.

  If Ramsey’s memory served him, Vaughan had been the last person to say it to her. She had nearly sent his balls up into his throat, and not one of their brothers called her that again.

  “How much of the conversation did you hear?”

  “Enough.”

  “What will you do about it?”

  Ramsey pulled on a pair of jeans and then poked his head out of the room. He found Kristin with her back against the wall. She turned, meeting his gaze. “Do?”

  “You’re Alpha, Ramsey.”

  Ramsey shook his head and went back into the room. He went to his closet and pulled a sweater off a hanger. “Whatever’s between you and Josh—”

  “Nothing because he’s an asshole.”

  Ramsey rolled his eyes. “…or isn’t between you, is your business. I won’t step in unless it’s needed.”

  “Okay.” Kristin followed him across the room to the kitchen. She leaned against the counter. “Because I don’t want anything from him.”

  Ramsey lifted the tea kettle off the stove and took it to the sink’s faucet for a fill-up. His back was to Kristin, so she didn’t see the slight smile on his face. “Of course you don’t.”

  “Shut up.”

  Ramsey put the kettle on the stovetop and turned the knob. The thing puffed to life and an orange and blue flame appeared underneath. Ramsey turned and smiled. He leaned against the cabinets closest to him. “I agreed with you.”

  “Sarcastic agreement doesn’t count.”

  “In this case, it should.” He gave her a knowing look.

  “Okay. But you don’t know how it feels. He’s my true mate, Ramsey. He rejected me first and had never said why. That’s an asshole move. Right?” She looked at Ramsey expectantly.

  Ramsey nodded.

  “See. I didn’t start the turmoil, he did, and now he’s acting like I’m the one who’s being unreasonable.” She deflated like a balloon. Her shoulders sagged, and her chin wobbled. Ramsey knew better than to comfort her. She hated crying and wouldn’t appreciate the kindness. Better to let her come to him if she needed it. “I’ve known since high school. High school, Ramsey. Years. And I’m so close to caving. I think he knows it. Maybe. I don’t know.”

  “He just started coming back around?”

  “Yeah.”

  “And you think he can sense you giving in to him?” Ramsey didn’t get the impression Kristin was giving in at all, but then he had always had difficulty reading her.

  Kristin shrugged. “I wish I had the words to describe how it feels inside but nothing I say would do it justice. My body is rebelling against staying away. Every primitive instinct I have pushes me toward him. I even shift to my eagle and fly over his farm just to get a glimpse and you know I’m the last Somerset alive who would stalk a person, much less admit it.”

  Yeah, Ramsey did know that about her. Kristin had always given off the air of not needing anyone for anything. Maybe she learned that from their mother. After all, Mom did raise a bunch of children by herself. That sort of spunk and independence had to rub off on Kristin to some degree. Being the only female in a house full of males also may have played a part. She wasn’t the soft princess type and hated when someone treated her like one.

  “Maybe something else is pushing him. The same instincts you have?”

  “He has them. I know that. I think we both got used to the ache. I know I did. He hasn’t let it push him before.”

  “When did he start coming around?”

  “Couple months ago. And can we talk about something else? Like the fact that Garridan needs to talk to you. Shawn found something I guess. About the humans knowing about paranormals.”

  Ramsey conceded, not pushing anymore. “You want to stay here for a while?”

  Kristin nodded and wiped her cheeks clean of tears. “You’re coming back after your meeting, right?”

  Ramsey smiled and nodded. “Spare bedroom still has some of your clothes in it from the last time.”

  Kristin stood and walked around the center kitchen island. She hugged him around the middle. Ramsey returned the hug. “I’m sorry you’ve been hurting, Sis.”

  “Thanks. I knew you’d try to do something. It’s why I’ve never told you before now.”

  “I could kick his ass like a good brother would…” He wanted to demand Josh mate with her and struggled against the instinct. His water monster didn’t like that she was hurting at all.

  “…but then you’re the Alpha.”

  Ramsey chuckled at the way she finished his sentence. “Exactly.�
�

  “We could ask Bennett.” Ramsey couldn’t see her face because she had it pressed against his chest but he could hear the smile in her voice.

  “Hell, if we’re going to do that, we might as well just ask Lucas to freeze him with his witch mojo.”

  Kristin laughed but sobered quickly. She turned her head, so her other cheek pressed against his chest. “Why does he have to be so difficult?”

  If the anguish in Kristin’s voice was any indication of what being mated felt like, Ramsey wasn’t sure he ever wanted a mate.

  When Ramsey walked into the back door of his mother’s house, Garridan and Shawn sat at the kitchen table. The light over the stove glowed throughout the room, casting shadows in the corners and on each of their faces.

  They both looked up when they heard the sliding glass door open. “Sorry. I know it’s early.” Garridan’s voice came to him on a whisper.

  Ramsey just nodded. “Was Kristin already up when you sent her over?”

  “Yes. Why? Is she okay?”

  “She’s fine. Just asking, is all.” Ramsey nodded to the closed office door right off the kitchen and started to it without a word.

  He didn’t wait to see if they followed. They both would but for different reasons. Shawn would follow because he gave a silent order and would follow what his Alpha told him to do. Plus, Shawn looked like he was about ready to jump out of his skin, what with the way he clutched papers in both of his hands as if he held the key to the universe and was excited about it.

  Garridan would follow because he wanted to grill Ramsey on his emotional state. Garridan was better at reading Ramsey than anyone else, including his mom. Ramsey wondered if it had something to do with Garridan being feral at one point, so he knew what it felt like to fight against his most primitive instincts. Garridan also had a parental instinct that rivaled his mother, and he didn’t care that Ramsey was the Alpha.

  Ramsey flicked on the office light when he walked in the room, sitting on the couch. Shawn immediately handed him papers, which he took.

  Sitting down on the coffee table in front of Ramsey, Shawn’s leg shook, which irritated Ramsey enough that he reached out and put a hand over his knee, stilling the shaking.

  “Sorry.” Shawn looked as if he hadn’t slept in at least twenty-four hours.

  “Where’s Gabriel?” Ramsey wondered if Gabriel knew Shawn’s current state. Ramsey doubted it.

  Shawn’s eyebrows drew together. “Sleeping. Why?”

  “Does he know you’re doing computer research at all hours of the night?”

  “No. But you can tell him after you look at those papers.” Shawn grinned and wiggled his eyebrows. “He’ll take me to bed and keep me there. Large chance of getting lucky.”

  Ramsey chuckled. “Well, then why don’t you tell me what’s in the papers? The sooner you get to it, the sooner you can get some sleep.”

  Shawn leaned forward and pointed to a logo at the top of the page. “Okay. Well, that website is one of those conspiracy theory ones who wants to believe in vampires and werewolves.” Shawn winced when Ramsey’s eyebrows went up. “Sorry. Shifters. In my defense they call all you guys werewolves, so it’s their word, not mine. Anyway, they don’t have evidence other than the forum. The forum is basically just a bunch of humans who give eyewitness accounts. I’d say it’s a fifty-fifty mix of truth versus lie.”

  “Did you read through them all?”

  “Almost all. There’s nothing about Saint Lakes, although people have reported giant birds in the sky near us more than once.”

  “So why is this important? It’s not evidence for our existence. It sounds like it’s one human, not a whole government of them.”

  “Right. But the human who set up that website is named Wesley Swenson. As far as I can tell, Wesley is the assistant of a senator. Or at least I think he is. I know for a fact there is a guy named that working for a senator and the senator is a strong supporter of scientific research using animals.” Shawn bit his lip and scowled.

  “What’s wrong?”

  “It’s just that I’m not very good at all this research stuff. I’m average at best, so I’m not positive I got the right information on this Wesley guy.” Ramsey started to tell Shawn what he thought of Shawn’s skills, but Shawn held up a hand. “I am, Ramsey. I love that you trust me enough to help out with all this, but my knowledge is limited.”

  He’d think about getting Shawn a good teacher another day.

  Ramsey smiled. “It’s somewhere to start. I’ll send Magnus to dig a little further.”

  “You want me to go get him?” Shawn was practically asleep on his feet.

  “I want you to get some sleep. I’ll talk to Magnus myself.”

  Garridan scowled at him. Well, that was Garridan’s natural facial expression, but it deepened for some reason unknown to Ramsey. Garridan sat in the chair next to the couch. “Go to your mate, Shawn. No more working for at least twenty-four hours.”

  Shawn sighed and stood without a word. He was halfway across the room when Garridan spoke again. “Good job, little human.”

  Shawn turned and smiled. “Thanks, giant dragon shifter.”

  Garridan gave Shawn a slight smile. “Go.”

  Shawn saluted Garridan and left the room.

  As soon as he was gone, Garridan turned to Ramsey. He didn’t speak but just glared at Ramsey.

  “What?”

  “You’re not sleeping either.”

  “Got a lot on my mind.”

  “And not sleeping will change things around here? Things with Stavros will heat up whether you sleep or not.” Garridan was the only one who ever put Ramsey in his place. They both knew it was needed from time to time, but that didn’t make it any less annoying.

  Ramsey rolled his eyes. “I know that. It’s not like I want to stay awake all night.”

  “Is there something one of us could do?”

  Ramsey smirked. “You be Alpha, instead of me.”

  Garridan growled. It was an old argument. “Stop. No one is taking the Alpha position from you.”

  “Yeah, well. Sometimes I wish you would.” He wasn’t cut out for the Alpha position for a lot of different reason. At some point, they would realize that and stop burying their heads in the sand about it, Ramsey included.

  “I know that. It won’t happen, though.” Garridan nodded to the papers in Ramsey’s hands. “Let’s talk about that instead.”

  Gladly. “Sending Magnus won’t be enough. We need more information. Information Shawn can’t find.”

  “Magnus might be able to get us this Wesley guy.”

  Ramsey raised his eyebrows. “Kidnapping?”

  Garridan’s scowl deepened again. “Maybe. We at least need to talk to him.” Garridan tapped his fingers on the arm of the chair. “I’ll look into getting Shawn some help. Need to think about that for a bit, but I might have a solution to that problem. I’ll get back to you about it after I make a few calls.”

  Ramsey stood. He’d look at the papers later. “I’ll go talk to Magnus. I’ll send him to find that Wesley guy.”

  “Are you staying at your cabin?”

  “Yeah. Kristin’s with me. Probably for a couple of nights.”

  Garridan scowled. “Is she okay?”

  Ramsey nodded. “Yeah. She will be.”

  “Does she need Mother Estelle or me?”

  “Probably but she won’t ask for it.”

  Garridan nodded, and that was all it took for Ramsey to know Garridan would be visiting Kristin at his cabin later that day when the sun finally came up.

  Chapter Two

  Ramsey walked into the diner and stood just inside for a few seconds, letting his body adjust to the temperature difference. He shook off the cold and the few snowflakes still brave enough to cling to the heavy material of his coat and the stocking cap covering his head.

  Ramsey’s human form longed for a beach on a tropical island where the weather was warm but not hot. He'd also like one of those umbrella
drinks and a sexy little cabana boy fanning him with a big green leaf as he lounged on a beach chair taking in the warm rays of the sun.

  Ramsey sighed. His water monster preferred the cold but his human side was ready for a change in season. Winter had gone on long enough.

  He wouldn’t get it, though, so he vowed to shift and go for a swim after he finished his lunch and listened to his clan members’ problems.

  He shook the last remnants of cold from his body and began making his way to his usual booth at the back. He passed the counter and winked at Sage, who smiled. "You want the usual, Alpha. But with water, right?"

  Ramsey stopped and lifted his eyebrows. It was like Sage read his mind and knew he drank one too many cups of coffee at home during breakfast.

  Sage smiled. "I saw you drink some at home this morning. Figured you'd need to flush out Ladon's sludge."

  Normally, Ramsey could drink coffee all day long but not when his brother, Ladon, made it. Lately, that kid had been up first and the rule was the first one awake made the coffee, whether they drank it or not. Ladon made the stuff so strong Ramsey couldn't drink more than two cups and even then he had to do something to burn off all that caffeine.

  Ramsey nodded. "Find out what he's doing up so early in the morning, will ya?"

  Sage bit his bottom lip, and his eyes sparkled with determination. "I'm on it, Alpha."

  Ramsey chuckled.

  Sage would recruit Shawn on his new mission, and the two would sneak around spying on Ladon, which might cause some drama around the house if Ladon caught them but it would also cultivate the friendship between Shawn and Sage.

  The two were exact opposites in personality but in all the ways that proved helpful to each other. Shawn was a feisty little thing that didn't take shit from anyone, and Ramsey had noticed that particular trait of Shawn's had drawn Sage out of his shell a bit over the past few months. Sage’s quiet, contemplative nature had improved Shawn's tendency to say the first thing on his mind, making him realize there's benefit to choosing his words wisely instead of spouting off the first thing that enters the mind.