KL04 - Katy's Decision

by Kim Vogel Sawyer

  Katy’s chest tightened. While she loved that Annika wanted to celebrate on such a grand scale, a party to recognize her accomplishment could be perceived as bragging. “Oh, but —,” she started.

  “I think that’s a wonderful idea,” Mrs. Gehring said over the top of Katy’s protest. “We’ll have plenty of time to get it organized, and I haven’t heard of any other Friday parties this week, so we won’t be interfering with someone else’s plans.” She gave Katy’s shoulder a squeeze and smiled. “Katy, you will have the chance to enlighten people to our way of living our faith. Do you realize your articles might eliminate incorrect assumptions and help people see beyond our simple lifestyle to our hearts?”

  Tears glittered in Mrs. Gehring’s eyes, bringing a sting behind Katy’s nose. She gulped. “I — I hadn’t really thought of it that way.” She’d only seen the newspaper job as a means to fulfill her dream of becoming a writer. But Mrs. Gehring’s comments gave her a lot to consider. Drawing in a deep breath, she made a silent vow not to squander the opportunity she’d been given but to use it wisely.

  Annika walked Katy to the door. “Be here Friday at seven. I’ll invite all our friends, and you invite your family.” She gave Katy another hug. “It’ll be a wonderful party, Katy — wait and see!”

  Dad wasn’t home when the girls arrived, so Katy and Shelby told Rosemary about Katy’s new job and the party the Gehrings wanted to throw in her honor. Rosemary expressed exuberant congratulations and then said, “As much as I’d like to host the party myself, it might be better if the Gehrings do it. Then it won’t be seen as self-promotion.”

  While they talked, Shelby sat at the kitchen table and chopped tomatoes, cucumbers, and green onions straight from the Lambrights’ large garden to add to the lettuce Katy tore into bite-size pieces for a salad. Rosemary spooned homemade ham spread on toast and peeked at the girls over her shoulder. “After lunch, why don’t you go to town to let your grandparents and uncle and aunt know. I’m sure Ben and Ruthie will want to come, and I hope they’ll bring the children, even if Rebecca isn’t up to it.”

  The reminder of Aunt Rebecca’s battle cast a pall over Katy’s excitement. Her hands stilled in their task. “How many more chemo treatments will Aunt Rebecca have?”

  Rosemary shrugged, bunching her black ribbons against her shoulders. “I believe they plan on eight treatments. Then they’ll run some tests. If things look good, they’ll stop, but if they still have concerns, she may need more.” She shook her head and released a sigh. “She still has a ways to go, I’m afraid. I wish the treatments weren’t so hard on her.”

  Shelby scooped chopped tomatoes into the salad bowl. “But what about Katy and school? I mean, if her aunt is still sick when school starts, is there somebody else who can run the fabric shop? Or will Rebecca just close it until she’s ready to go back to work?”

  Rosemary turned from the counter and shot a startled look in Shelby’s direction. “School?”

  Shelby nodded, her puzzled gaze flicking between Katy and Rosemary. “Well, yeah. Katy’s not done yet. I mean, she hasn’t graduated. So I wondered …” Her face turned bright pink. She ducked her head and started hacking at a cucumber. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have asked.”

  Rosemary slowly approached the table, her face troubled. “No, I’m glad you asked. We’ve been so caught up thinking about Rebecca …” She placed her hand on Katy’s shoulder. “We’ve kind of forgotten about school. But we need to think about it.”

  Katy went back to tearing lettuce. If Rosemary didn’t believe a knife would bruise the tender leaves, Katy would be done already. “I know they can’t just close the shop,” she explained to Shelby. “Uncle Albert had a bad fever when he was a boy. It weakened his heart. That’s why Dad took over Grampa’s dairy. Uncle Albert works part-time as a clerk for the hardware store, but they rely mostly on Aunt Rebecca’s income from the fabric shop to support their family.” She turned to Rosemary again. “We’ll figure something out. Don’t worry.”

  Rosemary squeezed Katy’s shoulder and moved back to the counter. She picked up another slice of toast. “Your dad and I will certainly discuss this, Katy. I think you’re right that the shop needs to stay open if at all possible, but maybe …” She sighed and offered a smile. “Well, no need to worry about it right now. We’ll find a workable solution. I promise.”

  But no one else knows what goes on at the fabric shop. And we’re running out of time. Katy’s hands shook as she tore the last leaves and dropped the pieces into the bowl. Her thoughts turned into a prayer. God, I want to help my family, but does it have to mean letting go of my dreams?

  After the girls went to Schellberg to share the good news of Katy’s writing job with her family, they returned to the farm and Shelby spent the remainder of the afternoon textmessaging with friends from Salina while Katy worked on her first article for the Free Bee. By the time Dad and Caleb finished milking, Katy was satisfied with the introductory article. She promised to read it aloud to Shelby before bed, and the girls went down to supper.

  Rosemary had prepared an extra-special dinner — roast beef with new potatoes, whole baby onions, and sweet carrots — instead of their customary weeknight casserole, and they ate in the dining room rather than at the kitchen table, adding to the festivity. Dad asked the blessing for the food, and then he added, “Our Father, we thank You for the opportunity Katy’s been given to share her faith with others through her writing. Please give her words that will bring glory and honor to You. Amen.”

  Katy’s heart expanded so much she wondered if her chest would be able to hold it. How wonderful to have Dad’s support for her writing venture. She took a crusty roll from the bowl and passed them on to Shelby before reaching for the meat platter.

  “Everything looks so good,” Shelby said.

  “Since Katy’s big party isn’t until Friday,” Rosemary said, scooping potatoes onto her plate, “I wanted to do a little something right away. She’s earned a special dinner.”

  The warmth of Rosemary’s kindness washed over Katy, and she finally found the courage to do what she’d often felt since the woman became her stepmother. Bouncing out of her chair, she rounded the table and hugged Rosemary. “Thank you for being so sweet to me. I really appreciate you.”

  Rosemary clung to Katy, and she sniffed, letting Katy know the gesture had touched her deeply. Then she gave her a pat and set her aside. She pointed to Katy’s empty chair and said, half-crying, half-laughing, “Go sit down now and let me eat. I already salted these vegetables enough.”

  Katy laughed and slipped back into her chair. As soon as their plates were filled, she turned to Dad. “Annika told me Caleb asked permission to go to high school. Did you know about it?”

  Dad paused midbite. “Yes, the elders informed me he’d asked about going.” He put the piece of roast in his mouth.

  “So will they let him go?” Katy asked.

  Dad swallowed and pinned Katy with a firm look. “That isn’t our business, Katy.”

  Caleb’s going would change so many things for Katy. Didn’t that make it her business? But she knew better than to argue with Dad. Instead, she turned her attention to her plate. Her enjoyment of the meal chased away questions about Caleb. When they’d finished, Rosemary brought out a tray holding four bowls of shortcakes and fresh strawberries buried beneath mounds of sweet whipped cream.

  Shelby groaned. “Oh, that looks fantastic. But I’m so full, I don’t think I can eat it.”

  Rosemary laughed and set the tray on the table. “It’ll keep for a little while if you want to let your dinner settle.” She passed the bowls around. “And maybe while we eat dessert, we can come up with some ideas about the managing of Rebecca’s fabric shop.”

  Dad dipped his spoon into the dessert. “We can sure talk about it, but —” He blew out a big breath. “Katy, I don’t want you to get your hopes too high. Aunt Rebecca needs you. She trusts you. You know how important the shop is for Albert and Rebecca, but just as imp
ortant right now is Rebecca’s peace of mind. With her being so weak and sick, we don’t want to give her extra reason to worry.”

  Katy nodded. “The last thing I want to do is worry Aunt Rebecca.” And she meant it. She licked a bit of whipped cream from her thumb and said, “I honestly don’t want to abandon her, Dad. I just need to know …”

  Longing rose up, nearly strangling her. She wanted to go to school. She wanted to keep learning. Why did God give her this thirst for knowledge if she wasn’t meant to quench it? She swallowed hard, trying to push the wave of emotion back down before it emerged in tears. This wasn’t a time for tears.

  “… how long I’ll be running the shop on my own. Because school starts in mid-August. If I’m not going back, I — I’d just like to know. So I can …” She wanted to say, “Prepare myself emotionally,” but she didn’t think Dad would understand. So she kept the final words inside.

  Rosemary fixed Katy with a serious look. “Which of your friends might be interested in taking on a part-time job?”

  Katy lifted her shoulders in a shrug. “So many of them already have jobs. Annika’s the only one who’s finished with school but not working for someone. She just helps her mom with their housework.” Her heart pattered with hope. Would Mr. and Mrs. Gehring release Annika to take a job in town? With so many younger siblings, they depended on Annika quite a bit.

  Dad put down his spoon and cupped his hand over Katy’s wrist. Very gently, he said, “Katy, unless we can locate someone immediately who is willing to learn to run the shop and who meets your aunt’s approval, you’ll have to accept the possibility that you won’t be going to school this fall.”

  Katy sucked in a sharp breath. Even though she’d suspected Dad would say something similar, it was a lot harder hearing it out loud than she’d imagined.

  “After all,” Dad went on quietly, “taking care of Aunt Rebecca is more important, isn’t it?”

  Katy couldn’t deny the importance of caring for her aunt. Her family was dear to her; she didn’t want to disappoint them. But school was important too. Couldn’t someone understand that? Her heart hurt. She offered a weak nod of agreement.

  Dad released Katy’s hand. “Here’s what I’ll do … I’ll visit with Uncle Albert and Aunt Rebecca. I’ll suggest Annika as a possible employee, and I’ll also ask for their suggestions on anyone who might be able to help. After we explore a little bit, we’ll know for sure about sending you back to school. All right?”

  Even though Katy preferred knowing right now, she couldn’t argue. Dad wasn’t a magician — he couldn’t produce a manager for the shop any more than he could make Aunt Rebecca’s cancer disappear. “All right, Dad.”

  Rosemary said, “And of course your dad and I will be praying for God’s will.”

  “Me too,” Shelby put in. “You can count on it.”

  Katy smiled her thanks.

  Rosemary sent a bright smile and wink across the table. “Everything will work for the best, Katy. You’ll see.”

  Katy wished she had Rosemary’s confidence. She started to thank them for their support, but someone knocked on the front door. In unison, Dad, Rosemary, Shelby, and Katy jerked their heads to look in the direction of the sound. Then Dad, Rosemary, and Shelby all looked at Katy.

  Dad smirked. “I wonder who that could be?”

  Shelby snickered. “Betcha I know.”

  Rosemary dabbed her mouth with her napkin and rose. “I’ll prepare another bowl of strawberry shortcake. Katy, why don’t you answer the door?”

  Chapter Eighteen

  Katy’s hand trembled as it connected with the doorknob and she gave it a twist. The door creaked open, and Jonathan stood on the porch. She could tell by the beaming smile on his face he’d already heard the news.

  He reached out and caught both of her hands, squeezing hard. “Congratulations!”

  He’s holding my hands. If any other boy had been so bold — so open — with her, she’d have fallen over in shock. But holding Jonathan’s hands felt natural. Right. The wonder of the moment made Katy giddy. She hunched her shoulders and giggled. “Thank you.” They stood for several seconds — her inside, him out — with their linked hands creating a bridge across the threshold and their eyes locked on each other.

  “Katy?” Dad’s voice interrupted. “Is it Jonathan?”

  “Yes, Dad,” Katy called. Reluctantly, she pulled her hands free of Jonathan’s.

  “Well, bring him in.” Dad sounded amused.

  Katy wished she could pinch her father. But of course she couldn’t. So she said very politely, “Won’t you come in, Jonathan? We’re having strawberry shortcake.”

  Jonathan snatched his bill cap from his head as he stepped over the threshold. Katy closed the door then gestured for Jonathan to follow her to the dining room. They reached the table just as Rosemary hurried in from the kitchen with a fresh bowl of dessert. She sent Jonathan a beaming smile.

  “Welcome! Have a seat there by Katy.” She put the bowl, a spoon, and a napkin at the open spot and then returned to her own chair.

  Jonathan greeted everyone before looping his hat on the chair’s back. But instead of sitting, he held his hand to Katy’s chair. Her ears heated with pleasure. “Th-thank you,” she said. She slipped into her chair. Only then did Jonathan seat himself. The sweet scent of the strawberry shortcake beckoned to her, but she couldn’t eat. Having Jonathan so close made her stomach feel too full to hold anything else.

  He dug into his dessert, though, and ate every bit while Katy told him about the interview at the newspaper. Then he visited with Dad about horses, the differences between Schellberg and his fellowship in Pennsylvania, and cars. Katy listened, intrigued not so much by the topics but by Jonathan’s communication skills. He was articulate and confident, seemingly comfortable talking to Dad even though they were a generation apart in age and he wasn’t a member of the fellowship. Her admiration for him grew greater by the minute.

  Suddenly he turned and looked at her. “I understand there’s a party at the Gehrings on Friday night to congratulate you on your new job.”

  Up close, his eyes were piercingly blue. Katy gulped.

  “Th-that’s right. It was Annika’s idea.” She hoped Jonathan wouldn’t think she’d asked for the party. Several months ago, she’d heard that some of the Schellberg boys considered her self-important because she enjoyed using an extensive vocabulary and attended public high school. If Jonathan ever thought her conceited, it would break her heart.

  His smile remained. “I plan to be there — Yvonne and I were invited. And then …” His lips quivered, as if fighting a battle not to frown. “On Saturday, Dan and Sandra will take me to the bus station in Salina and send me back to Pennsylvania.”

  Shelby burst out, “What? Already?”

  Jonathan nodded. Disappointment dimmed his eyes. “I came to help with the corn harvest. And it’ll be done by the end of the week. So …”

  Katy’s chest tightened. She couldn’t draw a breath. Without air, she couldn’t speak. She sat in silence, battling tears. Why did his leaving bother her so much?

  Rosemary said, “I’m sorry to see you go, Jonathan. We’ve enjoyed your company these past weeks.”

  Jonathan’s Adam’s apple bobbed in a swallow. “I’ve enjoyed being in Schellberg. It’s a great town.” He chuckled, ducking his head for a moment. “At first I liked it because I could drive. Driving a car is very different than driving a buggy. But I guess that’s a pretty selfish reason for liking a place.”

  Katy remembered thinking the same thing when Yvonne mentioned Jonathan’s enjoyment of driving. But that was before she’d met him. Now that she knew him, she knew he wasn’t selfish. Not at all.

  “But now that I know the people,” Jonathan continued, as if reading Katy’s thoughts, “I like Schellberg for a completely different reason.” He shifted his head to look directly into Katy’s face. “It’ll be hard to leave.”

  Katy stared silently into his eyes. A lump
filled her throat. She didn’t want him to go.

  Dad cleared his throat.

  Both Jonathan and Katy jumped. They looked at Dad.

  The amused glint Dad seemed to acquire every time Jonathan came around returned. “Maybe we should combine Katy’s congratulatory party into a going-away party too.”

  “Oh, no!” Katy exclaimed then clamped her lips shut. She hadn’t meant to holler the thought aloud, but how could she combine a happy event with a sad one and enjoy the evening? She didn’t want to even think about Jonathan leaving, let alone attend a party commemorating his departure.

  Dad gave her a funny look, and she knew he thought she wanted the attention for herself. She needed to clarify, but how could she say something so personal with Jonathan sitting right there? It would have to wait until later. She scrambled for a reason for her outburst.

  “It — it wouldn’t be fair to Jonathan. He — It —” She stammered to a halt. Why did she lose her ability to speak clearly in this boy’s presence?

  Jonathan offered a sympathetic smile. “It’s okay, Katy. I really don’t want a going-away party. Because …” He drew in a deep breath and faced Dad. “When I get back to Lancaster County, I intend to talk to my folks about changing fellowships and moving to Schellberg for good.”

  Shelby let out a little shriek. “Really?”

  Jonathan’s broad grin returned. “Really. Dan and Sandra said I could live with them until I found a place of my own. Mr. Penner said he could use me at his furniture shop. I’ve never built furniture, but I’ve helped my brothers build buggies, so I know how to use all the tools. He’s willing to give me a try.”

  “But,” Shelby interrupted, “you don’t want to be a furniture-maker, you want to be a —” She stopped, looking from Jonathan to Katy as if afraid she’d almost divulged a secret.