Abandoned Child

by Neale, Kitty

Still, Lorna thought, stacking plates and tidying them away, Penny’s actual mother had been about as far from the motherly type as you could imagine, and yet the girl seemed to have managed so far. She’d got through years at that school – Lorna almost sobbed aloud at the memory of the day the child had been sent there, so small in her stiff uniform, her lip wobbling but with no other trace of her emotions. She’d been good at concealing them, when she had to.

  Plates stacked, glasses polished, Lorna had run out of things to put away, and so she turned on the radio, hoping to catch an absorbing drama, or, even better, a comedy to drive away the dark fears. But it was the news headlines. Clutching the nearest chair, Lorna felt herself go freezing cold all over at the words: ‘Reports are reaching us of a fire at King’s Cross Station …’

  Smoke. Smoke, and heat.

  There was no denying it. Penny had been trying to tell herself that this was just another thing to get used to now she was a Londoner. But now everyone was beginning to panic, turning around, twisting to see what was happening, pushing, heading for the way out. She realised it must be really bad when passengers actually started to speak to each other. Screwing up her courage she asked a woman next to her, ‘What’s going on?’

  ‘Dunno,’ said the woman, her voice shaky. ‘Never seen anything like it. Never smelt anything like it either,’ she added, trying to inject humour into the situation.

  ‘Where’s the way out?’ Penny gasped. ‘Are we going the right way? I’ve never been here before.’ Her voice caught on her final words.

  ‘Not really sure,’ admitted the woman. ‘Silly, isn’t it? I come this way all the time but now I can’t think straight.’

  ‘Oh,’ said Penny, thinking that didn’t sound good. But then the woman was swept away from her and, though they’d only exchanged a few sentences, she felt suddenly even more alone.

  Someone behind her started to cry. Somebody else murmured, ‘I don’t want to die. Not here, not now.’

  Die? It had never occurred to Penny that she might die. Now she glanced about and the terrifying thought struck her that this might be it. A wave of utter panic hit her and she very nearly fell, her legs turning to jelly, her blood running cold even as her forehead was bathed in sweat. She remembered Lorna’s face as she said goodbye and an overwhelming feeling of regret filled her, for things she’d never said, all the gratitude and love and overwhelming longing to see her again.

  Then something else took hold of Penny – a fierce determination that this would not be the end. ‘Get a grip,’ she growled silently. ‘Don’t start giving up. There’s a world out there and you’re going to take it by storm, not abandon hope and choke in some stinking underground tunnel.’ Fuelled by a new energy, she grabbed the arm of the crying woman. ‘Save your breath,’ she hissed, as she made out a dull illuminated sign through the smoke-filled air. ‘We’re going towards that light. See it?’

  The woman made a noise which might have been a ‘yes’, and took hold of one of the rucksack straps, making it ten times heavier and more awkward than ever. All the while the heat increased.

  Driven with an urgency she had never known before, Penny kept moving forwards, gasping, coughing, her eyes streaming from the smuts and fumes.

  ‘Maureen,’ gulped Lorna, her clammy hand barely able to grasp the receiver, ‘is that you? Maureen, can you hear me?’

  ‘Good God, Lorna, whatever’s the matter?’ came the familiar voice. ‘Sounds like you’re in a right state.’

  ‘Can I speak to Penny? Is she there yet?’

  ‘Blimey, you’ve only been apart for a couple of hours,’ groaned Maureen. ‘You’re not going to be like this all the time, are you? Give the girl a chance. And no, she’s not here yet.’

  ‘But she should be, she should be!’ cried Lorna. ‘Something’s happened. She wouldn’t be anywhere near King’s Cross, would she?’

  ‘Wouldn’t have thought so,’ said Maureen, keen to placate her cousin, but slightly irritated none the less. ‘Look, I’ve got to pop to the show to make sure one of my new girls does her routine right. She’s having dreadful problems with her fan.’

  ‘What about Penny?’

  ‘I’m sticking the key under the mat and a note on the door. She can read, can’t she? She is a grown-up now, right?’

  ‘No, no, you don’t understand,’ Lorna moaned. ‘The news said there is a major fire at King’s Cross. She might have got lost – she won’t know where she is. It’s my fault, it’s all my fault, I should have given her the fare for a taxi, but she wanted to do it by herself. Maureen, go and find her. Please? I won’t bother you all the time, I promise, but go and find her. Find my little girl.’ She could say no more.

  ‘Hold your horses,’ sighed Maureen, thinking, not for the first time, that her cousin was extremely overprotective. ‘I suppose the show will go on without me and if the fan gets dropped then they all get more than they paid for. I’ll ask Mark to wait in the flat – he does the costumes and will only be hanging around because he doesn’t have anything better to take his sorry self off to. Then if the phone goes while I’m out, he can take a message. Okay? That good enough for you?’

  ‘Thank you, thank you,’ cried Lorna. ‘I’ll never forget this. Just go and bring her home safe.’

  Shrugging into her impractical but glamorous leopard-print jacket, Maureen headed out of her flat, wondering if she’d done the right thing by agreeing to let Penny come to stay.

  Smoke, heat, more smoke, and now noise. A dreadful, crackling, fierce noise, echoing down the corridors and stairwells, combining with the thunderous footsteps of hundreds of tightly packed passengers and their high-pitched cries and shouts.

  Penny did her best to ignore it all, grimly focusing on finding the exit. She’d made it past the first Way Out sign, and was now staggering up what must be an escalator, which was no longer working, though it was hard to make out anything in the gloom. Dully she noticed how the treads were just too far apart to make it easy to climb. If she got out of here, she’d always take the stairs … no, not if. When. Her shoulders were aching from the added weight of the weeping woman, who seemed unable to support herself, and her lungs felt as if they might explode any minute. ‘Worry about that later,’ she told herself. ‘One step, then the next, that’s all you have to think about.’

  Then, the most welcome sight in the world, she could just about distinguish an orange glow above her and a delicious draught of cold air brushed her skin. They were nearly at street level. ‘Come on,’ she growled, every cell of her body desperate to manage the final few steps. ‘We can do it. We’re there.’

  With a final push there they were, being dragged by rescuing arms out onto the pavement. Streetlamps were blazing, sirens blaring, a crowd of people staring. The woman at her side collapsed, making feeble little moans of terror. Penny gazed around, feeling nothing but a sense of unreality as she gulped blessed fresh air into her sore lungs.

  And then, miracle of miracles, she could see a figure waving – a figure with bright red hair. Maureen. Penny didn’t have the energy left to question why she was there. All she knew was, Maureen was there and she was safe.

  Chapter Twenty-Three

  ‘Right, here we are,’ said Maureen, leading an exhausted Penny up a final steep flight of rickety stairs and through a doorway. ‘You’re in here – sorry it’s a bit small but it’ll be easier to heat, look on the bright side. You might want to go in there first, that’s the bathroom.’

  ‘What? Why?’ asked Penny, now totally disorientated. So that would be her room – much, much smaller than in Margate but not so different to the cell-like one she’d had at school.

  ‘I don’t want to cast aspersions or frighten you,’ said Maureen, ‘but you look a right sight. You could do with washing your face at least.’

  Penny pushed open the bathroom door, caught sight of herself in the mirror and screamed. ‘What’s happened to me? Oh my God, I’m covered in something! Ugh, it’s all over me. What is it?’

&
nbsp; ‘Reckon it’s smuts, lovey,’ said Maureen, reaching for the light pull. ‘There you are, see more clearly now, can’t you? You must have been pretty close to that fire, and you got stuff from it on your face and coat. Here, take this flannel and give your face a wash and I’ll get the hot water on so you can have a proper bath in a bit. You come through here when you’re done and we’ll have a drop of tea.’

  Penny did as she was told, brushing her coat as best she could and then splashing water over her face before giving it a good scrub. It was more difficult than she thought as the marks stuck to her, minute flecks of soot on every visible part of her skin. It began to dawn on her just how narrow an escape she’d had, and the combination of that and the strangeness of finally being in London was almost too much for her. To distract herself she looked around the poky bathroom. It had a bare bulb hanging from the ceiling but there were many more lights around the big mirror, which was surrounded by glass shelves covered in pots and tubes. Clearly Maureen was a serious collector of cosmetics. Penny was irresistibly drawn to the eyeliners and mascaras, arranged according to colour, and for a moment she considered trying some on. But then she remembered she would have a bath once the water was hot, and her new landlady would be waiting.

  As she opened the door she could hear Maureen on the phone.

  ‘Of course she is. She’s just a bit shocked, that’s all. We’ll get her tucked up soon as we can and then how about you have a good long chat tomorrow? … Are you bleedin’ joking? Stop frightening yourself by watching the news. She’s fine, I’m telling you. No, we are not going to the hospital just in case. She got out, end of. Now I don’t want to be rude but I got to get the kettle on for my guest. Think she deserves a cuppa after all that … Yes, I was going to anyway. Speak to you then.’

  Penny almost laughed. Nobody else ever talked to Lorna like that, but she was glad Maureen hadn’t passed her the receiver. Hearing Lorna would have tipped Penny over the edge. At least by tomorrow she’d be feeling better, less tired, less strange.

  Following Maureen’s voice Penny found herself in a small living room with a kitchen squeezed off to one side, where she was faced with a stranger.

  ‘There you are,’ said Maureen, turning round, ‘and you’re looking better already. Isn’t she, Mark?’

  The stranger stood up. He was very skinny, with dyed hair that flopped over one eye, while the sides of his head were closely shaven. He had on a fantastically flamboyant shirt, and Penny wondered at the back of her mind if that’s what had brought these two people together – a love of outrageous clothes.

  ‘I wouldn’t know, darling, would I?’ he said. ‘I didn’t see her before. Hello, pleased to meet you, Maureen’s told me all about you. I’m Mark, and I work at the Paradise Club too. Costume design. So if you need any help in that department, I’m the one to call.’ He glanced at Maureen. ‘Or for help in any kind of department, such as flat sitting, tea making, generally keeping the train on the tracks.’ He stopped. ‘Sorry, that wasn’t the best thing to say. Are you all right? What a way to arrive. Take a seat, have some tea.’

  ‘Thanks,’ said Penny, almost tearing up again. ‘That’d be nice.’

  ‘Don’t you mind him,’ fussed Maureen. ‘Always putting his foot in it, he is. But give him his due, he didn’t hesitate to come over here and wait while I was out looking for you, in case you was to arrive before I got back. Give him a proper haircut and he’d be the ideal housekeeper.’

  ‘Never you mind my hair,’ said Mark, sweeping it back from his forehead. ‘I’ll have you know it cost a fortune and you’re only saying that because you’re jealous. Now, when Penny here is ready, I shall take her to the top hairdresser and demand a stunning cut for the best new dancer in town.’ His eyes twinkled. ‘That’s what you’re going to be, isn’t it? We’ll give you a few days to recover and settle in, then I shall whisk you off.’

  ‘I’d like that,’ admitted Penny, though she wasn’t sure about the costing a fortune bit.

  ‘That’s settled, then,’ beamed Mark. ‘And don’t you worry, they’ll do it for me as a favour. Owed many favours by all sorts, I am.’ He stood up. ‘Now I’ve made your acquaintance I shall take my leave. Don’t let Maureen lead you astray.’

  ‘Blimey,’ said Penny when he’d gone. ‘Is he always like that?’ She sipped her tea, which seemed like the only familiar thing in the room. She wasn’t at all sure what to make of the young man.

  ‘Most of the time,’ Maureen replied. ‘He has a heart of gold, but sometimes you got to dig hard to find it. Took a shine to you, though.’

  Penny sniffed, and realised that her clothes smelt of the fire. ‘Oh no, here am I stinking of smoke and you introduce me to your friend. What must he think?’

  ‘He’ll think nothing of it,’ Maureen assured her. ‘He’ll be as glad as the rest of us that you got out of that inferno. Seriously, are you all right? That was Lorna on the phone before, checking you was okay. I haven’t seen the news but she said it was a huge fire, so for once she’s right to be worried sick. Told her you’d speak to her tomorrow and the cheeky mare told me I’d better not forget. As if I would. That water’ll be hot now so shall I run your bath?’

  ‘Please,’ said Penny. Now that she’d had some tea to revive her, she was desperate to get out of the stinking clothes and to wash her hair. ‘Do you think everything in my rucksack will smell as well? What’ll I do?’

  ‘To be honest, yes, it’s out there in the corridor ponging the place out,’ said Maureen. ‘But we’ll sort it out tomorrow. I might not have all Lorna’s mod cons but I do know about looking after clothes. You can have one of my shirts to sleep in and we’ll worry about the rest when we wake up. Which, don’t know about you, won’t be very early. So sleep in as long as you like.’

  She swept out and there came the sound of running water and a strong smell of flower-scented bubble bath noticeable even over the smoke, before she dashed back in with an armful of silky underwear Penny had earlier noticed hanging over the bathtub. ‘Might as well pamper yourself,’ said Maureen. ‘Use my hair stuff, it don’t matter that it says it’s for redheads, henna will be good for you. I’ll leave a shirt on your bed. See you in the morning, okay?’

  Sinking gratefully into the scented bubbles, Penny let her mind go blank. It was all too much to take in. She’d think about it tomorrow.

  In the morning, Penny could hardly remember where she was. Then it all came back to her. Her throat was dry, her eyes stung, and her shoulders ached from carrying the rucksack along with the weight of the struggling woman, but otherwise she seemed to be all right. Her hair smelled of the henna shampoo, which she liked. Slowly, she took stock of her surroundings.

  Light was coming through the gaps around the thick red velvet curtain across the window, and she could make out framed posters for musicals and West End shows. Crammed along one wall were a wardrobe, a dressing table with mirror, and a battered-looking chair with a wicker seat. Someone had hung a dressing gown on a hook on the back of the door.

  There was no sign of the rucksack so she got up and wrapped herself in the dressing gown, which felt wonderfully soft. It was nothing like the practical towelling ones Lorna had bought for her over the years, none of which had a tasselled belt at the waist. She pushed back the curtain some more and posed in front of the mirror, pouting and twirling the cord, but stopped when she heard a voice from the corridor.

  ‘You done me proud,’ Maureen was saying. ‘I won’t forget this, I owe you big time.’ A door shut.

  Cautiously Penny put her head around her own door. ‘Have we got visitors?’ she asked. ‘Because I’ve only got this on …’

  ‘No, no, you’re all right,’ said Maureen, picking up a big bag. ‘Look, here’s your stuff. All clean and sweet-smelling. The rucksack’s still being worked on but the rest of your things are here.’

  ‘God, how late have I slept?’ asked Penny in a panic. ‘How did that all get done so fast? Have I missed a day?’

  �
�Stop it, not so fast,’ laughed Maureen. ‘You’re up in time for a late breakfast or early lunch, depends how you look at it. Fancy some toast?’ She led the way into the tiny kitchen area, and caught Penny looking round. ‘Yes, I know, not much of a kitchen but then I don’t do much cooking. You don’t need to round here, with so many places to go out all hours of the day and night. You can if you want to, but you might need to buy a few things. Marmalade?’ She spread the toast and passed it across.

  ‘Mmm,’ smiled Penny. ‘But did you get up at dawn? I know you don’t like to.’

  ‘Well, only briefly,’ Maureen admitted. ‘Mark came round and took it all. He really does know a lot of people to call on for favours and he reckoned you’d hate to wake up with no clean clothes. So he sorted it out.’

  Penny shook her head in disbelief. ‘But he only just met me, and how would he know that?’

  ‘Well, who would?’ asked Maureen reasonably. ‘First day in new flat, new city, new people to meet, and you’ve got no proper clothes – nightmare! Told you, he’s got a heart of gold. And …’ She stopped and started again, with a very small tremor in her voice. ‘We both heard the news on the radio. More details about what happened last night. People died. So I suppose it’s our way of saying thank God you weren’t one of them.’ She cleared her throat. ‘Anyway, make the most of it, get yerself dressed, and then we’ve got things to do. You got to see where you’ll be practising, because it’ll take a while before you can go on stage, even though you’re good. Then we’re going to the Paradise Club. So look sharp.’

  Penny looked away, all the memories of what had happened underground threatening to swamp her. ‘It was terrible,’ she said. ‘How did I get out and others didn’t? What if some of the people on my train died? I don’t understand …’

  ‘You can’t go round thinking like that,’ said Maureen. ‘Way I look at it, when your number’s up, it’s up. Yours wasn’t yesterday. Sorry if it sounds harsh. But you was put on this earth to dance and live another day, so get your arse in that bedroom and stick on some clothes, and make sure you can move in them. You got any high heels yet?’