by Becky Monson
“You’re good, Jules. You’re good. I am, too,” she says in my ear.
“What do you mean?” I look at her, perplexed.
“I ditched out of the meeting early. I had to make sure. Both of our desks are clear.”
Relief washes over me instantly, and the weight that I didn’t think I was actually carrying lifts off my shoulders. I don’t know what I’d do if I were laid off. I just bought my new place. I can’t afford to lose my job now.
Brown winks at me. “You okay?” she asks, seeing the tension drain from my face.
“Yeah … yes. That was just crazy.”
“See? I told you what was going on. You should always believe me. I know everything.” She smiles confidently at me. “I’d say we should take a break, but under the circumstances …” her words drop off.
“Um, yeah, no we should probably just go back to work.” The crowd thins around us. “Hey, did you ever see Mr. Nguyen in there? Or Jared?”
Brown shakes her head no. “Haven’t seen Nguyen. Although, I wasn’t really looking for him,” she says, looking around to see if anyone is listening to her besides me. We don’t usually gossip in the hallways, if you can call this gossip. “Anyway, I’m sure Jared was busy doing stuff for Calhoun. Maybe he had to hand out the letters.” Of course, that was what he was doing! That makes perfect sense. Poor guy. That must’ve been hard for him.
“Hey, you called me last night—what was going on?”
“Oh, that. Yeah, I just called to tell you Jared kissed me,” I say with as nonchalant a facial expression as I can, but then, despite myself, I smile.
“What? Are you serious?” Her eyes bug out of her head.
“Yep,” I say, the giddiness returning. But then I stop myself quickly. Right now people are finding out they’re losing their jobs, their lives turning upside down. It’s not the best time to be acting like a silly teenager in the hallway.
“I need details,” Brown says, shock still on her face. “Let’s go back to your office.”
The walk back to my office is a gloomy one. Mixed emotions everywhere. Some with the look of relief on their faces, some with the look of total shock, some people even crying. What a sad day at Spectraltech. One I’m sure I won’t forget for a long while.
I glance over at Martha’s desk and see her smiling slightly. Her job must be safe, although of all the employees here, her job should have been the first to go. I guess her relationship with Mr. Calhoun saved her. That’s disturbing and ethically wrong on so many levels, if that is the case. Martha’s job is totally redundant. Everyone knows that. Brown and I will have to discuss.
We reach my office and close the door behind us. “Fill me in, Jules! He kissed you? I need to know everything,” Brown says immediately as the door shuts.
“Okay, okay! I’ll tell you. I …” I let out a tiny gasp as I pull back my chair that was neatly tucked under my desk. Sitting right there, hidden from someone that might just peek in my office, is a crisp, blue envelope.
I pull it out and show it to Brown.
“No!” she says loudly. “No, Jules. That can’t be right. It has to be a mistake.”
Slowly, I open the envelope and pull out the letter, skimming it quickly and seeing with my eyes that I am, in fact, being let go from Spectraltech.
I feel like the wind just got sucked out of me. What a fool I was. Here I was happily coming back to the office, getting ready to tell Brown about what happened with Jared yesterday, and all at once the rug was just ripped out from under me.
“Julia? Are you okay?” Brown’s looking at me like I might faint. I just might.
I clumsily take a seat at the desk and just stare at the letter, wishing it away, not believing this is happening to me.
“I … I’m not sure …” my voice slowly dwindles and I sit there, looking at Brown.
Brown stands up and moves over to me, putting a hand on my shoulder. “Jules? You’re going to be okay, all right? You are. It’s just a set-back. You’ll be fine.”
Tears well in my eyes as the reality sets in. “A set-back? This is total devastation!” I say, louder than I mean to. “What am I going to do, Brown? I just bought a place, I’m supposed to be moving there this weekend. Nearly all my savings went toward it. This is a nightmare!” I bury my face in my hands and try my hardest not to completely blubber like I want to.
I’ve been laid off. I’ve actually lost my job. How could this happen? How is this even possible? Just a moment ago, I was traipsing happily down the hallway to my office, feeling confident about work, thinking about Jared. Now, my whole world has been turned upside down.
I worked. I did my job. That was more than Martha can say. That’s more than many people at this company can say. So, why me? I’m the only person who works for Mr. Nguyen. Who’s going to do my job now?
And what will I do with myself? I don’t even have a current resumé.
“I don’t understand, Brown. I worked. I did what I was asked to.” I look down at the stupid blue envelope.
“Just because you do your job, doesn’t always keep you safe from layoffs, Jules. Sometimes positions just go away.” She takes her hand off my shoulder and goes back to take a seat at the chair in front of my desk.
Jared pops into my head and I decide I don’t care about any inhibitions I might have, I’m going to find him. He’s in HR, maybe he can give me some answers or talk some sense into someone? Yes, I must find Jared.
“I’m going upstairs.” I stand up and head out the door.
“What are you going to do?” Brown asks, looking concerned, like I might go postal or something. She follows me out to the hall.
“I’m gonna go find Jared,” I say as I walk toward the elevator, leaving Brown standing in the hall. She doesn’t try to follow me, and I’m glad she doesn’t. I hate to admit it, but part of me really hates the fact that I just got canned, and here is Brown, still with a job, still in her perfect pretty-princess life. I know it’s rude and awful to think, but I can’t help myself.
I get off the elevator at the sixth floor and go over to the conference room, and the door is locked. Despite the fact that I can’t see any light coming from underneath the door, I knock anyway. Nothing.
“Julia?” Mr. Calhoun peaks out of his office. “Can I help you with something?” There’s such sadness in his eyes that for a second, I forget why I’m here.
“I’m trying to find Jared Moody,” I say with as much resolve as I can muster, remembering my reason for coming up here.
“Jared?” He repeats and looks at me like I’ve lost my mind. Maybe I have.
“Yes. Jared,” I repeat.
“Well, he’s not here. He’s, uh, gone … part of the layoffs. I let him go this morning before the meeting,” he says looking past me and down the hall. I turn my head to see what he’s looking at. No one is there.
“He’s gone?” My eyes dart around, confused.
“Yes,” he says flatly. He looks down at his hands resting on his belly and twiddles his thumbs.
“Can I ask you something, Mr. Calhoun?”
“Yes, of course. Anything,” he says and smiles slightly at me.
“Why me? Why did I get laid off?” I ask timidly, wishing I could scream it at him, but I can’t find it in me.
“Well, it wasn’t my decision to make. For what it’s worth, Julia, I want you to know I fought hard to keep you here at Spectraltech. But the ‘proverbial’ powers that be made all the decisions.”
“Okay, well, thank you, Mr. Calhoun,” I say, defeatedly. I’m pretty sure the only reason he wanted to save my job was for my baked goods.
“Take care of yourself, Julia,” he says as I turn to go to the elevator and back to my office, or what used to be my office.
As I get on the elevator, I turn and give him a small, thin smile. It’s the best I can do under the circumstances.
It doesn’t take me long to clean out my desk and gather all my things to take with me. After ten years of working here
, it’s surprising how little I have.
I’m feeling kind of like a robot, like I’m not really part of my body, and I’m in some sort of dream sequence.
How could this be happening? I’ve lost my job. I’m no longer gainfully employed. And to make matters horribly worse, I‘ve lost contact with Jared. I have no contact information for him other than work. We never exchanged personal numbers or email addresses. Now we’re both jobless, and I have no way of getting ahold of him to see how he’s doing, to see how he’s feeling—about the job, about last night, about everything.
Why did he just leave? Why couldn’t he hang around for the meeting? Did he know I was getting laid off, too? Didn’t he want to talk to me and see how I was doing?
So many questions and thoughts keep running through my head. I’m feeling delirious with everything.
Before I shut down my computer for the last time at Spectraltech, I decide to send out an email to a few of the people I’d like to say goodbye to. As soon as I open my inbox, right there at the top is a message from Jared. The date stamp says it arrived ten minutes ago.
Decided to take my mom on a trip. Will be back in two weeks. Call me then –J
My heart skips a beat. An email from Jared and at the bottom he’s put his cell number. He didn’t just leave me after all. I smile to myself. A silver lining. I lost my job, but I didn’t lose contact with Jared.
I think Brown was right. I’m going to be okay.
CHAPTER 11
I’m sure I’ve heard it before, but I really should’ve had a Plan B, just in case something like this ever happened. You always think to yourself, “Oh yes, that’s a good idea, for other people. That kind of stuff will never happen to me.” But here I am, no Plan B. I have no job, and now I own a new condo filled with my belongings and my new furniture I purchased back when I was footloose and fancy-free. Ah, the good ole days, when I had a job, which was just two days ago. I do enjoy reminiscing about it, though.
I’ve been told moving is one of the worst experiences in life, and I’d say that as far as moves go, this one hasn’t been as bad as I thought it would be. Even though right now, as I sit on the floor with Charlie purring comfortably in my lap and look at the sea of junk I now get the opportunity to go through and find places to put it all, I’m still enjoying it. I guess because, for the first time in my life, I’m on my own in my very own place. I’m free of the shackles of my parents’ basement apartment. Although I never thought of it that way, it really was holding me back.
It’s all very new and exhilarating. If only the gnawing feeling of no job didn’t keep reappearing in my head, then it would be a perfect move.
Although I don’t have a Plan B, I do have a plan. For the rest of the weekend I’ll settle into my new place and come Monday, I’ll start looking for a job. I have ten years of experience and a degree that had nothing to do with said experience, but I’m feeling confident there’ll be something out there for me.
It’s sad how one simple email from Jared lifted my spirits enough to make me not go into a bout of self-despair/self-loathing. So at least I have that; at least there’s still Jared and the thought of talking to him again. If I lost my job and Jared, I think, well, I don’t really want to think about it. And let’s be honest here, I don’t actually have Jared, but the possibility of something—anything—that’s enough for me right now.
I hear a knock at my door that startles Charlie, who jumps out of my lap. I get up from the floor to find out who it is.
“Hello, dear!” my mother says cheerfully as she and my dad come through the door carrying a few odds and ends I must have left in the basement, along with a fresh bouquet of flowers. “These are for you,” she says as she hands me the flowers. “A little something to brighten up your new place.”
“Thanks, Mom,” I say as I hug her.
“Well, honey, we’re just so proud of you.” She smiles brightly at me.
“Yes, your jobless daughter has now moved out of your basement. You should be proud,” I deadpan.
“Oh, you’ll find a job soon. I’m certain of it.” My mom has always been a glass-half-full kind of gal.
“Well, this is a tough economy,” my dad throws out, and my mom darts him an evil glare, “but I’m sure you’ll do just fine,” he adds with a wink.
I smile half-heartedly back. “Thanks for your vote of confidence.”
We small talk about the condo, and I fill them in on my plan to start looking for a job on Monday. They agree that I should take a few days to relax, unpack, and then get back to the daily grind. I hope it’s that simple.
“We have some good news!” my mom announces during a lull in the conversation. “You tell her, Raymond.” She nudges my dad in the shoulder.
“What news?” He looks at her questioningly.
“About Anna,” she says, giving him an incensed look.
“Oh right, that.” He shakes his head. “Your mother is just excited that I was able to give Anna a job answering phones at the firm.” He half-smiles. “But you just say the word and the job is yours, Julie-bear,” he says and winks at me. It’s hard to believe I’m in my thirties and my dad will still sometimes refer to me as “Julie-bear.” I can’t lie, I still love it.
“Thanks, Dad, but answering phones is a little beneath my skill-set. But I’ll definitely keep that in mind,” I say and wink back. “Anyway, I think Anna needs the job more than I do with all the debt she has,” I say without thinking.
“What debt?” my mother quickly asks, confused.
Oh crap, oh crap, oh crap. What the hell did I just do? How can I spin this? How can I make this better? Why am I constantly putting my foot in my mouth? Must lie, must lie, must lie. But there’s no lie to tell. Anna shouldn’t have any debt because my parents have been paying for everything for her for years now.
“Um, well, I’m not really sure. I could be wrong …” I sputter out, averting my eyes away from theirs.
They look at each other and then both back at me. They know I’m a horrible liar; they raised me that way. Damn them and their integrity.
This is not good for Anna, not good at all. What do I say here? How do I smooth things over for her? She’s going to kill me. Maybe they’ll just not say anything to her. She’s an adult. Maybe they’ll just let her take care of herself and not butt in. Yes, just like unicorns are real and pigs fly. There’s no way they’ll let this one go. Anna will hate me for sure.
“Do you know anything about this, Ray?” Mom looks at my dad for answers.
“I’ve never heard anything about it.” He looks at her and shrugs.
I might throw up. I’m sick to my stomach. “Just don’t worry about it. I don’t think it’s that big of a deal. I’m probably wrong.” I give them a fake smile, dying inside.
My dad looks at his watch. “We better get going, Katherine,” he says as he gets up and starts to head for the door, his mind obviously preoccupied with the information I just unthinkingly gave him. I really hate me right now.
“Yes, yes.” My mother shakes her head out of the sudden trance she was under. “We have dinner plans with friends.” She smiles slightly at me.
“Okay,” is all I have to say.
They both smile at me as best they can and say a quick goodbye. They’re out the door before I can even think of something to say—anything to say—that might make them forget what I just told them about Anna. It is a lost cause, though. It’s already out there and can’t be taken back.
I should probably call Anna and give her a heads up. I don’t know if I can do that, though. I don’t know if I can handle the anger she’ll unleash from the other end of the phone. I think maybe I should sleep on it and try to come up with a good way to tell her. I don’t think there’s a good way, but I’ll try to find one.
~*~
The next morning I wake up to my phone ringing. Whoever it is, I’ll kill them. Who calls people at eight in the morning on a Saturday?
Brown, that’s who.
&nb
sp; “Hey, what’s up?” I try to say in less sleepy tones, but I’m pretty sure I failed.
“You awake?” she asks, intensity to her voice.
“I am now,” I say flatly. “What’s going on? Why are you calling me so early on a Saturday?”
“I wanted to call you earlier, but decided you were probably sleeping, so I went for a run instead.” Even through the phone I can tell she sounds fidgety, unsettled.
“Well, I was still sleeping, and I’d like to go back to sleep. So tell me why you’re calling,” I say yawning, my head falling back on my pillow. I was having the best dream, and yes, of course, it included Jared. And no, it was not one of those dreams. Just a good old-fashioned sappy, romantic dream. Sigh.
“Julia, I have gossip,” she says, but not in her sing-song voice she usually uses when she’s excited to tell me something.
“Okay, tell me,” I say, now fully awake and interested. Why is she being so serious?
“Well, first of all, Martha and Calhoun—totally true.”
“What? Oh sick!” I say loudly. “I mean, I guess we knew, but to have it confirmed? Yuck.”
“I know. It’s disgusting. Anyway, the reason I found out this information is because a bunch of us went out last night after work. To sort of celebrate our … still having … jobs.” She says the last part slowly, like she’s trying to ease the sting of the fact that I wasn’t there to celebrate. “Sorry,” she adds quickly.
“It’s fine,” I sigh. “Go on.”
“Okay, so anyway, Martha was there, and of course Mr. Calhoun wasn’t. The reason I found out about her and Calhoun was because Martha got stupid trashed. Like, totally drunk off her butt, and she told me some other things. Things I’m positive she wasn’t supposed to tell me.”
“Go on?” My interest is piqued.
“Well, first of all, as it turns out, Mr. Nguyen was totally stealing money from the company.”
“Yeah, I’d heard something like that,” I say before I can stop myself.
“What? You heard and didn’t tell me?” she asks, sounding extra annoyed.