Thirty-Two Going On Spinster (The Spinster Series Book 1)

by Becky Monson

  “I could do that,” she says, clearly intrigued by the Jared story.

  “Okay, good. See you soon,” I say and end the call.

  I pick up speed to get back to my place. I’m trying not to get ahead of myself, but hopefully being able to hang out with Anna and talk to her about everything will be the tiny silver lining to this pretty crappy day.

  ~*~

  “You’re kidding me, right?” Anna says exasperated after I fill her in on what happened with Jared. “He used you for gossip and then got you fired?”

  “Yep,” I say, nodding my head. It’s so great to tell her all the details, especially right before I meet up with him because it’ll get me all pumped up and mad again. I really need to stick up for myself, and telling Anna the whole story is giving me the gumption to do just that. Bring on the confrontation. I’m ready.

  “So, what happened after that?” she asks as she goes to my refrigerator and grabs a soda.

  “So after that, I got a job at a bakery on Sixteenth Street.”

  “Yeah, Dad told me about that. How do you like it?” She takes a hefty swig of her soda and hiccups from the bubbles.

  “I love it. Seriously, love it. But I found out today the owner is going to sell it,” I say, remembering my conversation with Beth, and my stomach immediately starts to ball up again. I go to the fridge and grab a soda, hoping the bubbles might soothe it.

  “That sucks.” She frowns slightly. “So, why are you seeing Jared tonight then?” she asks, obviously confused.

  “Oh yeah, forgot to tell you that part of the story. So, Brown told him where I was working after the layoffs.”

  “Brown told him? Why’d she do that?” Her eyes widen with disbelief.

  “I still don’t really know. I guess he was pestering her for my number, and she thought telling him where I worked was a better idea. She was wrong. At least I could’ve ignored his calls. Instead, he showed up at the bakery one morning.”

  “And?” Anna leans toward me in her seat, needing all the details. I can’t even say out loud how much I’m enjoying this right now because it’ll put us in that cheesy category again. But I’m so happy to have her back in my life.

  “So, he showed up and told me he wanted to go to dinner so he could explain. And I told him no way, that there was nothing to explain. Then he said he’d come back to the bakery every day to get me to agree to go out with him. I didn’t believe him at first, but then he did. He’s showed up every day for practically two weeks,” I say and exhale deeply, letting my shoulders sag. So. Much. Drama.

  “Wow. So, I take it you caved, then?” She gives me a little smirk.

  “No! Well, yes, I guess I did. But I was sort of forced into it by my coworkers at the bakery. They seem to have this crazy romantic notion of Jared, and so they did some psychological reversal Jedi-mind trick thingy. Whatever, it’s fine. It needed to happen. I just need to let him explain himself, and then he can get it all off his chest and feel better about himself or whatever else he needs to do so I can be rid of him for good.”

  “Hmmm,” Anna says contemplating. “That’s interesting.”

  “I know, isn’t it?” I agree.

  “No, I mean it’s interesting because guys don’t really care about getting things off their chest or having some sort of closure. That’s a girl thing.”

  “What are you saying?” I ask, confused.

  “I’m saying it’s not closure for him, Julia. He wouldn’t go through all that trouble just to make sure you didn’t hate him so he could feel better about himself.” She shrugs her shoulders, displaying confidence in her knowledge of men and what they do and don’t do.

  “Then, why’d he go through the trouble?” I scowl slightly.

  “The only reason he’d do that is because he cares about you. Maybe he even looooves you.” She raises her eyebrows slightly as she looks at me.

  “Oh, geez. No way,” I say, shaking my head. “He doesn’t care about me, not like you’re insinuating. And he certainly doesn’t love me. He just cares that he hurt me and wants me to forgive him. That’s all.”

  “Um, yeah. Guys don’t do that,” she says and raises her eyebrows at me.

  I shake my head. She’s wrong. Whatever guys do, Jared must be the exception to the rule. He’s just having some guilty thing going on that he really needs to repent for, and that’s it.

  “Well, I guess we’ll find out tonight won’t we?” I say, and then take a drink of my soda. “Anyway, it really doesn’t matter if he cares for me. Nothing he can say will make up for what he did.”

  “We shall see,” she says in a little sing-song voice, clearly not believing me.

  “I’m serious. There’s nothing he can say. Nothing.” Why is no one on my side? It’s getting super annoying. “Anyway, so tell me what happened with you after I let my big mouth run off.”

  “Yeah, thanks again for that.” She smiles slightly and sarcastically. “It’s not surprising what happened there. Mom and Dad confronted me, and I admitted to them it was true.”

  “So, you told them about using Mom’s info to get the credit cards, then?”

  “Yep. I told them.” She nods her head.

  “What happened? Did they flip?” I ask, eyes bugging out of my head. I thought she would pull an Anna and conveniently leave that part out when she told them.

  “Oh yeah, totally. They flipped out big time.”

  “So, what did they do?”

  “Well, it’s not like they could ground me or anything. I’m sure they wanted to kick me out, but that would’ve been no use because what I really needed was to have a place to live cheap enough so I could earn money and pay everything off quickly. So, I’m working at Dad’s firm.” She takes a drink of soda.

  “Dad told me you were working for him. How do you like it?”

  “It’s okay, not the highlight of my day.” She shrugs. “But the pay is good and, of course, Dad put me on a super crazy budget schedule to get the debt all paid off quickly. It sucks, really. I can’t shop at all.” She frowns.

  “So, aren’t you supposed to be at work right now?” I nod my head toward the clock which says four-thirty.

  “I took a half day today. I had things to do like open up my very own bank account.”

  “Well look at you, all grown up,” I say and smile slightly.

  “I know, it’s kind of annoying.” She turns her head to stare out the window. We sit in silence for a moment and then she turns to me and smiles. “You know what we need to do?” She nods her head conspiratorially. “We need to get you all dolled up for your date tonight!”

  “It’s not a date,” I say emphatically.

  She rolls her eyes. “Well, whatever it is, you need to look hot. Nothing says revenge like totally looking like a hottie,” she says and gets up from her chair.

  “This is not about revenge, it’s about closure.” I point my finger at her, correcting her.

  “Fine. You still need to look hot. Let him see what he’s really losing.” She grabs my hand, pulls me to standing, and heads toward the bathroom. “Come on, let’s find you something to wear.”

  I don’t argue because when Anna gets that look in her eyes, there’s no reason to try. Plus, she sort of has a point. I should look good. It’ll give me an edge of confidence I really need to have.

  Anna goes to work, back in her element like she was when she would take me shopping for clothes. I take a shower while she goes through my closet finding me something to wear. After my shower, she plucks my eyebrows and does my makeup. I insist that I not look like a hussy, and she pouts a little at that. Her definition of made-up is a little on the hussy side to me, so she has to tame it down. Plus, I don’t want Jared to think I tried too hard, like meeting him tonight all dolled up means something more to me than it does.

  Once she’s satisfied with the makeup, I get dressed in the outfit she picked out—a basic black skirt with a short sleeve, soft pink, cashmere sweater. She quickly does my hair, blowing it out w
ith a round brush so it falls simply and softly on my shoulders. She then takes me to the full length mirror in my room and puts me in front of it.

  “Now, see how pretty you can be when you just make a little effort,” she says in a smart-aleck way.

  “Gee, thanks,” I say as flatly as I can. I turn from side to side to get different angles. Okay, I do look good. She might be right, but I won’t be telling her that.

  I let out a big exhale.

  “Nervous?” she asks as she flattens down my sweater in the back and does a little tweaking on my hair.

  “A little, I guess.” I look at myself in the mirror. “I’m just nervous about what I’ll say. My mouth gets all tongue-tied at stuff like this, and I’d just really like to say what I want to say.”

  “You’ll be fine.” She smiles slightly at me.

  “Thanks,” I say, then turn and give her a hug. It’s a little awkward. Anna and I aren’t really huggers, but I don’t care. I’m just so glad to have her here, and it’s the best way to say it without actually saying it.

  “Okay, it’s just past six,” she says, pulling away and pointing at the clock by my bed. “You better go.”

  “You’ll wait here until I get back so I can tell you what happened?” I ask, a slight unintended begging tone to my voice.

  “Um, yeah, duh. I’ve been cut off from shopping, remember? What else is there to do?” She gives me a half-smile.

  “I won’t be too long, promise.” I walk toward the door and grab my purse.

  “Good luck!” She opens the door and ushers me out.

  I walk out the door and down the hall to the elevators. As I walk through the lobby and open the door to the street, the light breeze hits me just so, and I get a little chill. I’m a big ball of nerves right now. But at least when I get home tonight, it will be finally done.

  ~*~

  When I arrive at the Paramount Café, it’s just past six thirty. I look around the room a little to see if Jared is there yet. The hostess sees me looking and asks me if I’m Julia. I confirm, and she takes me to the back of the restaurant, to a more secluded area I’ve never seen before. She guides me to a half-circle corner booth where Jared is sitting, waiting for me.

  I see him smile slightly at me as she ushers me toward the booth. He stands up as I take a seat on the opposite side, as far away from him as possible. I’m quite sure he smells good, and I don’t want that to detour my thoughts.

  “Hi,” he says simply as I take a seat. He looks me over, not even trying to conceal it. “You look really pretty.” His smile brightens more. “Thanks for finally agreeing to dinner.”

  “Yeah, well, I was sort of forced into it, now wasn’t I?” I give him a sarcastic look, the best I can muster. How times have changed. Just a few months ago, I would’ve been oozing lust and hanging on his every word, thrilled for the chance to spend time with him. Now, I just want to get this night over with.

  The waiter approaches our table, tells us about the specials, and takes our drink orders. He leaves to get our drinks and give us time to look over our menus. Honestly, I have no intention of eating dinner. First of all, I want this night to be short. And secondly, I don’t really think with all the emotions and nerves I’m feeling right now that there’s any room in my stomach for food.

  I pretend to look at the menu for a moment, and then I put it down on the table. “Okay, I came tonight to hear you out, so let’s hear it,” I say coarsely, ready to get started.

  He shuts his menu and sets it down on the table, running his finger along the crease of it, deepening the fold. “Okay, yes… good.” He looks up at me, his eyes meeting mine. “First of all, I want to tell you I’m really sorry. I didn’t expect things to turn out the way they did.”

  I scoff at that. “You mean, you didn’t expect me to find out who you really were.” I roll my eyes.

  “No, I didn’t want you to find out the way you did.” He moves his head trying to get my eyes back on his, but I look away. “I was going to tell you.”

  “And how do you think I would’ve taken it, even if it came from you? ‘Gee, Julia, remember how I pretended to gossip with you and that you were my friend. That was all a lie!’” I say, doing a pretty bad impression of a man.

  He shakes his head. “It’s not like that.”

  “Oh really, what’s it like then? Because that’s the way it sure seemed to me.” I meet his eyes this time so he can see the disdain in mine. I’m feeling pretty good about myself right now, at least at how I’ve handled things so far, no tongue-tying whatsoever.

  We sit in silence as the waiter drops off our drinks and, taking a cue from the obvious tension, he walks away without taking our order.

  Jared runs his hands through his hair, frustrated. “Just let me explain, okay?”

  I give him a slight nod with my head, “Let’s hear it then.”

  “Yes, I was consulting for Spectraltech. The board hired me to clean house because they needed to find ways to cut spending.” I flinch a little at the “clean house” comment. It’s such a harsh way to talk about employees that give the better part of their life to an establishment. Like we’re crumbs on a counter, wiped away with a blue envelope. “The consulting firm is my design.” He continues, “As far as I know, I’m the only one who does things this way.”

  “Go on,” I say, not impressed.

  “Anyway, I come into a company under the guise of a new hire. There are many statistics showing that productivity goes down greatly when employees know consultants are there. This way, the way I do things, people aren’t nervous, aren’t so scared that anything they say and do will get them fired. Then, I can see them actually at work, not putting on some show like they would if they knew who I really was.”

  “So, then you find people who know what’s going on within the company and use them for info. Got it.” I fold my arms.

  He shakes his head at me. “It’s true, I do need to know what’s going on in the company I’m consulting for, and it’s also true that there are certain people who tend to know these things—gossips. There are some in every company.”

  “So, then people like Brown and I basically do your job for you.” I frown, annoyed that there are people like us in every company. How unoriginal of us.

  “Not really. I can’t take what I hear as gospel. I have to check it out myself, but it helps me get on the right path,” he says, leaning back against the booth.

  Suddenly, a flash of relief washes over me. I’d been beating myself up for so long now, thinking Jared had taken everything Brown and I said literally, instead of as speculation, which is a lot of what gossip is. I had so much guilt that I might have inadvertently gotten someone laid off who shouldn’t have been. All of a sudden, I feel lighter, my shoulders a little less tense. It doesn’t change the fact that he lied to me and used me for information, though. That part is still the same.

  “So,” Jared says bringing my attention back to him, “once I have a list of people I think are redundant, I present the list to the board. They go over it as well and once they all come to an agreement, they do the layoffs, including me in the mix. Then, no one is the wiser.” He looks down at his hands.

  “Okay, got it. Thanks for the explanation,” I say, starting to edge out from my seat.

  “Julia, wait. We aren’t done,” he says, frustrated.

  “I don’t really know what else you can tell me,” I say, scowling at him.

  “Don’t you want to know why you were on the list?” he asks.

  “What’s the point?” I shrug my shoulders.

  “Just… just hear me out, okay?” He puts his hand through his hair again. “My gosh, you’re so frustrating.” He shakes his head, closing his eyes briefly.

  “Fine. Go ahead,” I say, and exhale deeply. What could he possibly say that will make me change my mind about him? There’s really nothing.

  “So, after a while, after spending time with you, I started to feel bad about everything, about not being totally ho
nest with you. I guess … I don’t know. It’s never happened before. I didn’t feel bad about Brown. I couldn’t care less what she thinks about me. But you, for some reason I cared what you thought.” He pauses letting the words sink in, and they do. I try to shake them off, but I’m finding it difficult.

  “So then, if you cared what I thought, then why did you put me on the list of layoffs?” I ask, bringing myself back to where I need to be—mad.

  Jared looks down at his hands. “When I made the list, I was up all night going over everything.” He looks up, making contact with my eyes. “You kept going through my head. Calhoun had told me that due to everything going on with Nguyen, they were going to revamp that department. He wanted to keep you on, though, but put you in another department. I assume it had something to do with your baked goods.” He flashes me a small smile, and then quickly a serious look comes back to his face. “But I talked him out of it.”

  “Why? Why did you talk him out of it?” I ask, anger rising in my face.

  “Because you’re better than that place, Julia. You are. You deserve better,” he says, looking me in the eyes.

  “Who are you to decide what I deserve?” I ask, incensed.

  “Well, I guess I don’t have any right to decide what you deserve.” He shrugs his shoulders slightly. “But let me ask you, are you happier now? Are you happier away from Spectraltech? Do you miss it?” He looks me in the eyes, searching.

  I look away from him, down at my hands sitting in my lap. I don’t even have to contemplate his questions. I am happier. I’ve never been happier with a job than I am now. I don’t miss Spectraltech, not even remotely. In fact, if they asked me to go back right now I’d give them a big resounding no.

  “You’re happier now. I know you are. I’ve seen you at the bakery. You’re in your element there.” I look up at him and meet his eyes.

  I sigh. “Okay, fine. I’m happier at the bakery.” His eyes brighten, hearing me admit it. “But that still doesn’t mean you had any right to make those kinds of decisions for me.”