Love Unspoken

by Carole Mortimer

  Beside the fact that Julie tried to have as little as possible to do with Zack there was a second reason she didn’t want him about today. All her clothes were becoming uncomfortable about the waist, the tailored suits she wore to work particularly so, and today she had decided to buy herself more suitable clothing for a pregnant lady. The last thing she needed was Zack at her side.

  Nevertheless she kept giving hounded looks over her shoulder, as if expecting Zack to join her, even though she had lost no time in choosing a gift for Connie and Ben and going on to the other shops, disappearing into the crowd of Saturday shoppers.

  She didn’t choose blatantly maternity dresses, more something in between, nothing that clung or was shaped to her waist but not looking like a bell-tent either. There would be plenty of time for the latter in a few more months!

  Zack didn’t put in an appearance, and it was with some relief that Julie made her way back to her flat, with a beautiful glass lamp for Connie and Ben, and half a dozen new dresses to hide her condition.

  Zack was leaning against the wall outside her flat, and came forward to take the parcels out of her hand. ‘I’m glad I decided to wait here,’ he drawled mockingly.

  Julie unlocked her door, going inside to dispose of all the parcels in her bedroom. ‘I suppose it wouldn’t do any good to ask you to leave?’ she said resignedly.

  He had already settled himself in one of the armchairs, casually dressed in dark blue trousers and a light blue sweater, his hair very dark against the latter. ‘None at all,’ he confirmed lightly.

  ‘I—A cup of tea?’ she offered nervously. ‘I’ll get it.’ He rose agilely to his feet. ‘You look tired.’

  Probably because she was! ‘You don’t know where anything is—’

  ‘Then I’ll find it.’ He gently pushed her down into an armchair and bent to take off her shoes. ‘Put your feet up.’ He placed a stool in front of her.

  She did so, leaning back with her eyes closed as Zack went into the kitchen to make the tea. It was a luxury to have someone wait on her in this way, and she took full advantage of it.

  ‘You look better already.’ Zack came back with a tray of tea, having managed, with his usual efficiency, to find all the necessary equipment. He put the tray down in front of her. ‘You can be mother,’ he grinned as she picked up the teapot.

  It instantly slipped out of her hand, hitting the side of the coffee-table and spilling the boiling liquid all over her and the carpet.

  ‘God!’ Zack grabbed hold of her hand, pulling her into the kitchen to quickly wipe the hot tea from her legs, his expression one of anxiety. ‘Does it hurt?’

  ‘No.’ She couldn’t feel the pain. ‘You can be mother,’ he had said. Lord, he didn’t know how true that was going to be in a few months’ time!

  Just at that moment the telephone began ringing. ‘I’ll get it,’ Zack told her. ‘You finish cleaning yourself up,’ he instructed gravely.

  ‘The carpet—’

  ‘Can wait a while.’ He strode off to answer the telephone, back within seconds. ‘It’s Connie,’ he informed her, looking her over critically. ‘Are you all right?’ he queried softly.

  Julie put the towel down. ‘Yes. Connie, you said,’ she asked agitatedly.

  ‘Mm,’ he grimaced. ‘I’m afraid I’ve aroused her curiosity by answering the call.’

  She had been afraid of that. ‘The carpet—’

  ‘For God’s sake stop fussing about the carpet!’ he snapped. ‘Did you burn yourself?’ He looked down at the slender length of her legs.

  ‘Only a little.’

  ‘Where?’ He was instantly alert.

  Her cheeks flushed bright red. ‘Just on the ankle. I’d better go and talk to Connie.’

  Zack scowled. ‘All right,’ he allowed. ‘But don’t be long. You need to put some cream on those burns.’

  ‘Zack-‘

  ‘Connie,’ he reminded her dryly. ‘By this time she’s probably bursting with curiosity.’

  She was—the questions came thick and fast. ‘Yes, that was Zack,’ Julie sighed confirmation. ‘He just called round. No, Connie,’ she said firmly, blushing at Zack’s taunting look. ‘Next Saturday?’ she frowned.

  ‘You haven’t forgotten Ben and I have an anniversary then?’ Connie was scandalised.

  ‘Of course I haven’t forgotten.’ Julie turned her back on Zack as he began to mop up the tea from the carpet. ‘What time do you want me to be there?’

  ‘Seven will be fine.’

  She frowned. ‘Are you sure you and Ben wouldn’t rather celebrate on your own?”

  ‘Not if you and Zack will join us,’ Connie said mischievously.

  ‘Zack?’ she repeated in a startled voice. ‘Oh, but I-‘

  ‘Tell her I’d love to come,’ he said from behind her in a stage whisper.

  She turned to glare at him. ‘Did you hear that?’ she asked Connie with a sigh.

  ‘Yes,’ her friend said excitedly. ‘Wait until I tell Ben you’re back with Zack!’

  ‘I am not back with Zack!’ she retaliated in a fierce voice.

  ‘Seeing him then,’ Connie corrected. ‘Even that’s an improvement. I’ll see you both next weekend.’

  ‘Yes,’ Julie sighed, and rang off to glare at Zack. ‘She has totally the wrong impression,’ she told him angrily.

  ‘Never mind,’ he dismissed easily. ‘Let me have a look at your legs.’

  Dark colour flooded her cheeks. ‘Leave my legs alone!’ She backed away from him.

  ‘Julie!’ he frowned.

  ‘They—they’re fine,’ she insisted. ‘It doesn’t even sting.’

  ‘Nevertheless—’

  ‘Are you really going next weekend?’ she determinedly interrupted him.

  ‘I was invited,’ he shrugged.

  ‘And so you’re going?’

  His eyes narrowed. ‘Yes, I’m going. Which means you aren’t, hmm?’ he asked shrewdly.

  ‘I have to go,’ she sighed. ‘I told Connie I would.’

  ‘I’ll drive you—’

  ‘I’d rather you didn’t.’

  ‘Well, I’m going to,’ he told her firmly. ‘Don’t worry, Julie, it’s only one night,’ he added harshly. ‘Just one evening you’ll have to spend in my company.’

  Oh dear, how ungrateful she was being! Zack had driven her to the shops, made her a cup of tea, fussed over her when she burnt herself, had even cleaned up the mess, and now she was grudging him a visit to his own brother. And a lift would be appreciated if she would stop being so stubborn; the thought of the long drive when she felt so tired all the time was not really a pleasant one.

  ‘What time will you pick me up?’ she asked briskly.

  Zack looked startled. ‘You want me to drive you there after all?’

  ‘If you wouldn’t mind,’ she nodded. ‘I don’t mind at all.’ He looked pleased with himself. ‘Five-thirty, okay?’

  She nodded again. ‘I’ll make another cup of tea,’ she suggested as a way of escaping the warmth of his grey eyes. He frowned. ‘You still look pale.’

  ‘I’m fine,’ she avoided his eyes. ‘Have dinner with me,’ he said suddenly, his hands clasping hers, his expression intent.

  Julie bit her lip. Another couple of weeks and she was going to be leaving London for good, would probably never see Zack again. She only had another week to work at the Daily Probe, having handed in her notice several weeks ago, much to Doug’s surprise. He had tried to talk her out of it, but she had remained adamant. She didn’t really have any choice!

  Could she give herself this one evening with Zack, a time just for the two of them? She felt she could.

  ‘I’d like to,’ she accepted almost shyly.

  ‘You would?’ His eyes widened in surprise.

  ‘Yes, please.’

  ‘Then forget the tea, I don’t really want any. I’ll pick you up at seven-thirty.’

  Julie could hear the nervous beat of her heart, but she couldn’t back out now. One evenin
g of having Zack to herself, that was all she asked. ‘Lovely,’ she nodded, knowing she would have months, years, for regrets. Tonight was just for the two of them, a final farewell on her part.

  She put on one of the new dresses she had bought on her shopping spree, a bottle-green loose-fitting crepe that darkened the colour of her eyes and highlighted the red of her hair. She felt attractive, and she knew Zack thought the same thing when she opened the door to him later that evening.

  ‘For you.’ He held out a single red rose.

  Colour flooded her cheeks. On their first date together Zack had bought her a similar red rose. ‘Thank you,’ she said huskily, tears suddenly shimmering in her eyes.

  ‘Let me,’ he offered as she fumbled trying to pin it on her dress, his fingers gentle against the firm swell of her breast, his breathing suddenly ragged as he looked up at her. ‘Let’s go,’ he said in a brisk voice, his hand on her elbow as he escorted her outside.

  It was the same restaurant too, a poignant reminder of the many evenings they had spent here when they had been in love and happy together.

  ‘Enjoying yourself?’ Zack looked at her with anxious eyes as she sat quietly opposite him.

  Julie bit her lip to stop it trembling. ‘Why are you doing this? Why this restaurant, Zack?’ She looked up at him with hurt green eyes.

  He frowned. ‘You always used to like it.’

  ‘Yes,’ she sighed. ‘But first the rose, and now the restaurant. Why, Zack?’ she repeated.

  He sat forward to clasp her hand as it rested on the table-top. ‘I wanted to bring back the good times, Julie,’ he told her huskily. ‘Have I ruined things?’

  She pulled her hand out of his. ‘There’s nothing to ruin,’ she said distantly.

  She had been a fool to come out with him tonight. This evening together meant one thing to her, another to Zack. He had seen it as a sign that she was weakening in her decision not to have an affair with him. He hadn’t ruined anything, she had been wanting something that didn’t exist.

  ‘Julie-‘

  ‘Could we order, please?’ she cut across his pleading tone. ‘I’m feeling hungry.’ And surprisingly she was too; her appetite had never been so good as since she had been pregnant.

  Zack drew in a controlling breath, very pale beneath his tan. ‘Of course we can order.’ He signalled the waiter to their table.

  For Julie the evening had been spoilt, and she knew Zack was aware of her disappointment, cutting the evening short to take her home, and insisting on walking her to her door.

  He looked down at her for several long minutes, a pulse beating in the hardness of his jaw. ‘Julie!’ he groaned at last, pulling her into his arms to kiss her with a desperate hunger. ‘God, Julie, I want you. I need you. Let me come inside with you, darling,’ he rested his forehead on hers. ‘Let me show you how good it could be between us.’

  She moved determinedly out of his arms. ‘Do you usually expect to sleep with a woman after one evening together?’ She saw him flinch at the coldness of her tone.

  A ruddy hue crept into the leanness of his cheeks. ‘You’re my wife, Julie.’

  ‘I may be,’ she accepted stiltedly. ‘But that doesn’t entitle you to expect to share my bed.’

  ‘Julie-‘

  ‘I’ll see you on Saturday.’ She ignored his pleading look, unlocking the door to her flat.

  ‘Saturday, Zack,’ she repeated firmly as she closed the door in his face.

  What a fool she had been! You could never bring back the past, could never revive a love that had died…

  Despite the way they had parted Julie half expected to see Zack during the following week, but there was no sign of him. She didn’t know whether to be relieved or upset. Her brain, thinking logically, told her she was relieved, and yet part of her felt disappointed.

  But he arrived promptly at five-thirty on Saturday, looking very handsome in a dark dinner suit, his eyes appreciative as he studied her with slow appraisal.

  Julie was aware of having that certain bloom about her a lot of pregnant women had; the tiredness and morning sickness had begun to recede now, and her skin had a healthy glow, her hair a deep glossy red. The black dress she was wearing, another one of her new ones, fitted over her bust to fall in soft folds to just below her knees. She looked good, and she was beginning to feel it too.

  ‘Ready?’ Zack asked huskily, making no effort to come inside the flat, reminding her all too forcefully that last time she had refused him entrance.

  She nodded, letting him take the gaily coloured parcel out of her hands as they went down the stairs.

  Zack placed the parcel on the back seal beside his own present for the other couple ‘It’s a jade figurine,’ he told Julie at her curious look. ‘Connie collects them.’

  ‘Yes,’ she nodded, feeling awkward with him as she sat primly at his side, leaving London far behind them. He obviously hadn’t forgiven her for the other evening. ‘Have you had a busy week?’ she attempted conversation.

  ‘You sound like a wife!’ he taunted.

  ‘Sorry,’ she flushed. ‘I was only trying to be polite.’

  ‘Were you?’ His tone was cold.

  ‘Yes!’

  Zack sighed. ‘Okay. Yes, I’ve had a busy week. I’ve spent most of it in Italy.’

  ‘The magazine?’ she asked with interest.

  He quirked one dark eyebrow. ‘Are you asking as a reporter or as my wife?’

  She had stopped being the latter long ago, and she had given up being the former yesterday. ‘Neither,’ she replied stiltedly. ‘Not your mistress either,’ she snapped.

  ‘Being polite again, were you?’ He appeared unmoved by her show of temper.

  ‘As it happens, yes!’

  Zack shrugged. ‘There are a few teething troubles with the magazine.’

  ‘That only you could handle.’

  ‘I coped,’ he drawled.

  ‘I’m sure you did!’ This time her sarcasm was unmistakable.

  Zack’s mouth tightened angrily. ‘You wanted to know, Julie. If you aren’t really interested then don’t bother to ask.’

  ‘I was interested,’ her eyes flashed deeply green. ‘You started the sarcasm, don’t forget.’

  ‘So I did,’ he sighed. ‘I’m sorry, Julie. Did you miss me this week?’ he quirked one brow.

  She shrugged. ‘I’ve been too busy to notice your absence.’

  ‘You’re looking better, anyway. Work must agree with you.’ He appeared unperturbed by the way she hadn’t really answered his question.

  ‘It always did,’ she replied tartly. ‘Or have you forgotten?’

  ‘No,’ he said dryly. ‘Are things over between you and Carter now?’

  ‘Steve and I are still friends,’ she answered him without actually lying.

  ‘He’s a fool,’ Zack ground out.

  Julie ignored him, and the rest of the journey was made in an uneasy silence. Connie was very pleased with their presents, although she was even more ecstatic over the fact that Julie and Zack had arrived together.

  Ben had booked a table at a quiet restaurant not too far away, where the relaxed atmosphere was conducive to conversation. The meal was leisurely, although Julie refused the wine, accepting only a small glass of champagne to toast the happy couple on their fourth wedding anniversary.

  ‘I never knew abstinence was one of your good qualities,’ Zack taunted, sitting beside her, opposite the other couple.

  She avoided his sharp gaze. ‘I had a headache earlier and took two aspirins to clear it,’ she invented. T wouldn’t want to pass out on you again.’

  ‘Headache gone now?’ His voice was husky with concern.

  ‘Yes.’ She turned to Connie, finding her friend watching them with avid interest. ‘Did the children settle down all right tonight?’ she changed the subject.

  ‘Fine,’ Connie nodded. ‘Although Nicholas wanted to stay up when he realised his Aunty Julie and Uncle Zack were coming to dinner.’

  J
ulie didn’t like the way that made them sound like a couple again. One thing she and Zack weren’t, and never would be, was back together.

  ‘He was curious to know where his Aunty Teresa was, though,’ Ben put in softly.

  ‘Ben!’ his wife admonished, and from the wince he gave he also received a painful kick under the table.

  He wasn’t deterred, looking challengingly at his brother. ‘Well, where is she?’

  ‘The last I heard she had gone to America for a holiday,’ Zack told him calmly. ‘She’s been there the last few weeks.’

  ‘And Uncle Steve?’ Ben looked mockingly at Julie now.

  ‘At home, I would think,’ she flushed. ‘Connie didn’t include him in the invitation.’

  ‘You aren’t going to tell us, are you?’ Ben sighed his chagrin.

  ‘Tell you what?’ Julie was genuinely puzzled.

  ‘Whether or not the two of you are back together. Connie’s been bursting to know all week ‘

  Julie flushed. ‘We-‘

  ‘We’re thinking about it.’ Zack’s hand covered hers, his expression warning.

  She gave him a resentful look and firmly removed her hand from his. ‘Actually, I’m going away for a while,’ she dropped her bombshell.

  Zack instantly stiffened, his eyes narrowing. ‘For a holiday, you mean?’

  ‘No,’ she replied calmly. ‘I feel like a change of environment, so I’m leaving London for a while.’

  ‘Why?’

  She blinked. ‘I just told you—’

  ‘And your job?’ he rasped. ‘Do you feel like getting away from that too?’

  ‘I’ve already left the Daily Probe.’

  ‘The hell you have!’ Zack’s voice was harsh. ‘When did you decide all this?’

  She shrugged. ‘I’ve been thinking about it for some time.’

  ‘Like hell you have!’ he said tautly. ‘You aren’t going anywhere, Julie, because I won’t let you.’

  ‘You can’t stop me!’

  ‘Try me,’ he threatened.

  ‘Zack-‘

  ‘Stay out of this, Ben,’ he turned on his brother. ‘Julie is my wife—’

  ‘We’re getting a divorce!’ she reminded him heatedly.

  ‘We may be,’ he agreed grimly, ‘but right now we’re still married. And you stay put.’