Wolf of her Own

by N. J. Walters

  Elise sat, leaned her arms on the counter, rested her chin on the tops of her hands, and did just that.

  Chapter Twenty-Five

  It had been two months since the night Mikhail had first spent with her. Elise could barely believe that the snow had melted, the wind had warmed, and spring had arrived. The time had passed so quickly. She was feeling better than she ever had in her life—stronger, more confident in herself as a woman.

  “Ready,” Mikhail asked. He’d all but moved into her home with her. Most of his clothes hung in her closet and his toothbrush sat next to hers in the bathroom, but they hadn’t made it official.

  The rest of the pack had accepted their relationship, although no one talked about it. She knew her sons felt awkward about having their mother practically living with a man, but to give them credit, they hadn’t objected. They respected her as an adult. That meant a lot to her.

  Still, she knew things couldn’t go on like this forever. The stress was taking a toll on her. Just this morning she’d thrown up after breakfast. Thankfully, Mikhail had already left to join Cole in the workshop, otherwise he’d have hovered and gotten upset.

  She smiled at him now. “Ready.” It was early afternoon, and as had become their habit, they were going out for a run. She watched Mikhail shift. No matter how many times she observed the process, she was always fascinated.

  His limbs reformed, his jaw elongated, and his forehead flattened. Fur pushed out from beneath his skin. He shifted incredibly fast. If she blinked, she’d miss it. His large brown wolf with hints of red in his coat and steaks of gray on the top of its head trotted over to her and nudged her in the shoulder.

  “All right. All right.” She’d left her shoes off, so all she had to do was tug off the long-sleeved wool dress she wore. She dropped it over the limb of a tree and embraced her wolf. She loved the transformation, the surge of power as she gave herself over to the other half of herself.

  Mikhail rubbed his snout against her muzzle and then licked her nose. She growled, gave a playful snap of her teeth, and then took off running. She loved the freedom of the pack land. Yes, they were always on the lookout for stray hikers and trespassing hunters, but they were relatively safe here. Her sons and the rest of the men in the pack had made it so. They patrolled daily, always protecting the women and children.

  Life here was so different than it had been back in Louisiana. It was getting harder and harder to remember that life anymore. And when memories did surface it was more like viewing movies of someone else’s past. She felt detached from it.

  She had her sons and Mikhail to thank for that. Jacque and Louis had given her a home and a pack. Mikhail had given her a reason to leave the past behind.

  She slowed, tipped back her head, and inhaled, drawing in the surrounding scents. She swiveled her head around and caught sight of the two deer calmly grazing about twenty feet away. They suddenly raised their heads, glanced in her direction, and bound off. It would have made a lovely picture, but her camera was home. This time was all about simply being a wolf.

  Mikhail nudged her right flank, pushing her to the left. She wondered where he wanted her to go. They started off again, loping through the trees. The ground was moist beneath her paws as the sun hadn’t yet penetrated this area of the woods. She caught a glimpse of several flashes of color. The early wildflowers were making an appearance. She had to get out for an afternoon with her camera soon. The world around her was waking.

  And so was she.

  Mikhail surged ahead and circled around several large boulders. She trotted behind, eager to see their destination. Usually, they just roamed, but she could tell by his concentration that he had somewhere specific in mind.

  She knew him so well. They’d learned a lot about one another over the past few months. Her biggest lesson had come on a day when Mikhail had come home angry. She could barely even remember what had set him off, but he’d slammed into the house and headed straight to the kitchen for a glass of water.

  Her first instinct had been to cower, to make herself small and quiet enough that he wouldn’t notice her. Her second thought had been one of shame that she’d revert to such behavior.

  She’d crept closer and dared to put her hand on his back and ask him what was wrong. He’d sworn and told her nothing. She knew then that if she let this moment pass, their relationship would eventually shrivel and die. Mikhail couldn’t spend the rest of his life hiding his anger from her, and she couldn’t spend the rest of her life in fear he might lose his temper.

  “Tell me,” she’d challenged him.

  He’d whirled, fury in his eyes, and proceeded to tell her about some disagreement he’d had with Jacque. Both men were strong personalities. It was inevitable they’d clash from time to time. She’d listened, and he’d calmed down. Then he’d kissed her and taken her to bed.

  It was the first time she’d realized that sex could be quite wild after Mikhail had been in a temper. It was a revelation.

  They broke out into the sunshine, leaving the shade of the trees behind. A large, flat rock was covered with a blanket. Mikhail had obviously been here earlier.

  He shifted and peered out over the land. Elise stood by his side and surveyed the area before letting go of her wolf and embracing her human form. Mikhail reached for her, pulling her in front of him and wrapping his arms around her from behind.

  “Are you happy?” he asked.

  She wondered what had brought on such a question. “Yes. Are you?” Maybe that’s why he’d asked. Was he getting frustrated with their relationship?

  “Stop it.” He kissed the top of her head. “I can practically hear your thoughts. I’m happy sharing our lives together.” He turned her so she was facing him. “Is it enough for you?” He grazed his fingers down the curve of her neck where it met her shoulder, touching the old mating mark. “Do you want more?”

  He hadn’t asked her to mate with him for a long, long time. She’d wondered if he was going to stop asking. A part of her was okay with that, while another part of her longed for that permanent connection.

  His green eyes studied her face. She could see the want, the yearning in them, and it touched her soul. Mikhail was the one who wasn’t truly happy. Their relationship wasn’t enough for him, not because he didn’t love her, but because he wanted more.

  She was the one holding out.

  He sighed and pulled her down onto the blanket beside him. Without another word on the subject, he simply hugged her close, and the two of them lay there in silence.

  What did she want? She’d asked herself that question a million times, it seemed.

  “I love you,” she told him.

  “Oh, baby, I know that. I love you, too.” He tightened his arms around her and rocked her gently. “Don’t worry about it. Everything is fine just the way it is.”

  But it wasn’t. She knew enough about male wolves to know that the other men wouldn’t fully accept him into the pack unless she and Mikhail were mated. It wasn’t really fair, but that’s just the way things were. Yes, Mikhail had a stake in the pack because his sister lived here, but the others were waiting to see what happened with his relationship with her. If it went sour, Mikhail might leave. Then he’d be totally on his own, a real lone wolf.

  As romantic as that sounded in books, in reality, it was a horrible situation. Wolves were pack animals and naturally gravitated toward their own kind.

  And how would she feel if he eventually left and mated with another woman. Her wolf growled inside her, and Elise felt she was capable of doing great violence to the unknown, imaginary woman.

  Then what was she waiting for?

  She disengaged herself from Mikhail’s arms, took a deep breath, and faced him. The concern in his eyes almost made her weep. He was the one constantly giving, constantly settling for less than he wanted.

  She knew what she wanted. Only one question remained. Was she wolf enough to take a risk and go for it?

  “Elise?” He reached for her,
but she shook her head. He immediately stopped and dropped his hand back down by his side.

  He really was an incredible man in every way.

  She cupped his face in her hands, leaned forward, and kissed him. He canted his head to one side and deepened the caress, boldly sweeping his tongue into her mouth and claiming whatever she was willing to give.

  Her nipples tightened, and the familiar ache began between her legs.

  “Elise.” This time her name was a whisper of desire, lost on the wind when he palmed her nape and pulled her closer.

  Before she knew it, she was in his lap, facing him. His erection pressed against her stomach, a stark reminder of his seemingly never ending desire for her. She rubbed her taut nipples against his chest and moaned as pleasure shot down from her breasts to between her thighs.

  He roamed his big palms up and down her back, urging her closer. She almost went, almost forgot her purpose.

  She put her hands on his broad shoulders. “No.”

  Mikhail stiffened and slowly released her. He didn’t complain, didn’t ask questions. He simply let her go.

  Trust exploded like a warm hug. This was a man who would never hurt her, would always put her needs first. Now and forever. She moved off his lap and onto the blanket. The rock was hard beneath it, but it would do. Her first mating had been in a bed, behind closed doors. This one would be outside, under the open skies.

  She turned onto her hands and knees and pulled her long hair over one shoulder, exposing the right side of her neck. Mikhail was as still as the stone beneath them. His jaw was taut, and a muscle pulsed beneath his eye.

  She licked her lips, knowing he wouldn’t move unless she said the words. She began to summon up the courage, only to find she didn’t really need it. The words flowed naturally. “Mate with me.”

  …

  Mikhail feared he was dreaming. Elise was on her hands and knees beside him, asking him to mate with her. He’d known she was preoccupied and a little out of sorts today, but never in his wildest imagination could he have conjured such an outcome to their afternoon jaunt.

  He’d hoped to spend time with her, make her smile, and maybe make love in the spring breeze.

  His cock expanded as far as it could stretch, as though trying to reach for her. His wolf was going crazy inside him, howling and growling.

  Mikhail slowly pushed himself up and knelt beside her. “Are you sure?” It was difficult to get the words past the lump in his throat. His chest ached, and his soul cried out for her.

  She nodded, but that wasn’t good enough. “Elise?” He could barely say her name. His wolf was so close to the surface, it was more of a growl.

  “Yes.”

  Mikhail closed his eyes and prayed for control. He shook his head and snarled. Somehow, he was between her legs without even being aware he was moving. He clamped his hands around her hips and simply held her.

  He could smell her arousal. He inhaled, taking the sweet, musky scent into his lungs. After months together, he knew it well. It was untainted by any fear. Her trust hit him with the force of an avalanche.

  He would do nothing to make her regret her choice.

  There was no time for preliminaries. Not time to go slow. Need clawed at him. He’d wanted this for so long and had feared it would never happen.

  He slowly sank his cock into her wet heat. He closed his eyes and savored the slow glide of his shaft as it tunneled into her welcoming warmth. She pushed her bottom toward him, accepting him and silently encouraging him to continue.

  He growled and moved over her, planting his hands on the rock beside hers. His big body covered hers. He would always protect her, always love her.

  He nuzzled her neck and then kissed her back as he worked his hips forward and back. She softened around him, growing wetter. That was what he’d been waiting for, but as he opened his mouth to bite her, he stopped. He didn’t want to dominate her, didn’t want to give her a single second of unease.

  He sat back on his knees and drew her up with him so he was still buried inside her. She sat facing the view of the valley with his cock inside her and his hands cupping her breasts. In this position, she wouldn’t feel closed in or overpowered. Plus, with her strong legs, she could push away from him if she grew frightened.

  It wasn’t exactly what his wolf wanted, but it was more than enough for him. As long as he took her from behind and bit her, she would be his.

  …

  Elise was overwhelmed by the sensations bombarding her. They’d made love many, many times over the past two months, but there was a sense of purpose this time, a destination they’d thought they’d never reach.

  She had one moment of fear when his big body had covered hers, but he hadn’t been pressing her down or hurting her, and it quickly passed. Her body knew his well, and she’d savored every push and retreat of his shaft, knowing it would eventually guide them both to such beautiful pleasure.

  When he sat back, her view of the world changed. She’d gone from peering down at the ground to viewing the majesty of the pack land.

  “Mikhail?” What was he doing?

  He kissed the curve of her neck. “I’m still going to mate with you.” He rubbed his palms over her breasts and the delicious motion made her gasp. Her inner muscles clenched his shaft, making them both moan.

  Mikhail buried his face against her back, and she felt his tongue on her spine. “I don’t want you to feel trapped or overpowered.” His gruff concern for her made her heart beat faster.

  Tears clogged her throat, so she nodded. She was overly emotional, but that was to be expected at a time like this.

  He wrapped his arms around her and hugged her before lifting her a scant inch and pulling her back down onto his cock. She gasped, reached behind her, and clutched at his side. “Do it.”

  His teeth grazed her neck. Shivers raced down her spine, and goose bumps formed on her arms. He dragged his tongue over her former mating mark. Then she felt the sharp bite of fangs.

  Her entire body convulsed with pleasure. This was nothing like the first time. Heat raced from the spot until it covered her entire body. Mikhail shuddered and then withdrew. She didn’t want him to leave, even though she felt the connection forming between them.

  She smelled blood and felt the rough drag of his tongue over the wound. Already her body was healing. They were well and truly mated.

  Elise threw her weight forward, catching herself on her hands. Startled, Mikhail followed until they were in their original position with him covering her. “Finish it,” she told him.

  Mikhail growled and began to power in and out of her core. She dug her fingers into the blanket but could find no purchase on the rocks below. She started to slide forward, but Mikhail caught her around the waist and held her as he hammered into her.

  Heat and tension built. The new mark on her neck pulsed and throbbed. Her channel tightened around his shaft and began to ripple.

  Mikhail threw back his head and howled as he came. The heat from his release flooded her core, pushing her over the edge. Her orgasm slammed into her, overpowering her to the point where everything went dark.

  When the blackness finally receded, she was lying flat on her stomach with Mikhail sprawled over her. They were both panting hard. His weight was making it difficult to breathe. She elbowed him, and he gave a grunt and heaved the bulk of his weight off her.

  “Sorry about that.” He kissed her neck and shoulder. His cock was still buried deep and pulsing hard. She shivered, and he pulled her closer, twisting them until they were on their sides. The rock suddenly felt a lot less forgiving than it had only a short while ago.

  The cool air dried the sweat away from her skin. She inhaled deeply, and the scent of their lovemaking mingled with the scent of moist earth and sharp pine.

  Mikhail made a murmur of pleasure and rolled his hips, driving his shaft deeper. It also pushed his body more fully on top of her.

  Elise’s stomach began to roil. She bucked against him and
fought to find purchase on the rock. She managed to unseat him and scramble away.

  “What the hell? Elise?”

  But she couldn’t answer him. She made it as far as the nearest bush before she lost her lunch. The sickness welled up inside her, and she vomited again.

  “Shit.” She heard Mikhail swear and felt his arm wrap around her. “I’ve got you, baby.” He lightly rubbed her back until they were both sure she was done.

  He scooped her into his arms and placed her on the blanket. “I’ll be right back.” He strode to a small grouping of rocks, reached inside, and pulled out a knapsack. As always, he seemed to be prepared.

  The enormity of what she’d just done washed over her. They’d mated, and she’d thrown up. Not an auspicious beginning to their new life together. “I’m sorry,” she began, but she stopped when he glared at her. He didn’t like that she always felt the need to apologize.

  Then he sighed and sat down next to her. “Hell, I’m the one that’s sorry. I got caught up in mating.” He lightly touched the mark on her shoulder. “You’re mine now. I promise I’ll take good care of you.” He reached into the bag and pulled out a bottle of water. “Rinse your mouth.”

  She took the bottle and did as he suggested. Then she took several sips to settle her stomach. “I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I guess I’ve been worried about things lately.”

  He pulled her onto his lap and flipped up the edge of the blanket so it was covering her. “Are you sorry?”

  She shook her head vehemently. “Never. I wanted this. I wanted you.” She also wanted to kiss him, but that wasn’t happening until she brushed her teeth.

  Mikhail kissed her temple. “Thank you. Thank you for the honor you’ve given me.”

  He honestly saw their mating that way. It was a revelation. “Thank you for having patience and for never stopping loving me.”

  He rocked her lightly. “Forever, Elise.” He kissed her chin and sighed. “I was planning a picnic lunch, but I think we should head back to the house. You need to rest.”