Mystery on the Seine

by Terry McGhee

  Jake showed Barb the plain white card. “Well, I guess we’ve met the first character in this sleuthing gig I’ve agreed to participate in. I’d say he is playing his role perfectly. It seems clear he has been keeping tabs on us since we checked in. I look forward to our secret chats back at the hotel and on our cruise ship. I’m guessing that he has been activated because our Clyde and Ella Couletti have kept their booking on The Grand Queen. Let the sleuthing begin.”

  Chapter 7

  It was their last evening at the luxury hotel Four Seasons on Av George V. Jake and Barb had seated themselves at an isolated table in a corner of the lounge. The Earl Klugh Trio was just getting set up so the lounge was almost empty. Jake hoped that detective Bernard would appear and bring them up to speed.

  The young waiter, Kent, was beginning to straighten out the chairs and placing small bowls of snacks on each table along with fancy paper napkins with the hotel logo embossed on them. “Good evening Mr. and Mrs. Vincent. Are you enjoying your stay?”

  Barb smiled. “Yes Kent, and we look forward to boarding the Grand Queen tomorrow at noon. This entire cruise up to Normandy sounds quite exciting.”

  “I think you can pretty much count on it being exciting,” Kent replied.

  ***

  The muted sounds from the Earl Klugh Trio filled the lounge. Early patrons softly clapped as a signal that the performance was anticipated and very welcome. They each had been presented with a complimentary glass of the hotel’s ‘Chardonnay of the Month.’ Jake made an ostentatious show of mimicking a professional wine taster as he swirled the wine; stuck his nose deep in the glass before taking a sip, and nodding his head in approval as he pretended to take notes about bouquet and body. “Knock it off Jake you’re attracting attention, and I’m not impressed.”

  “OK I got the message. If the hotel wine steward was watching, I wanted him to know I approved of his choice. I thought of showing a grimace at the taste of his selection, and spitting out the sample.”

  “That act would result in you being locked out of our room. I suppose you could have slept in one of the lounge love seats. Knock off the comedy routines Jake.”

  ***

  Louie Bernard and his small companion, Lola, walked into the lounge moments later. Louie did a quick spin; spotted Jake and Barb, and said, “Aha…Lola there are our new friends. Bonsoir Madame, Monsieur, may we join you?”

  With a modest bow, he plopped Lola in an empty chair where she quickly curled up as if this was routine for her. “Well, this is a remote and quiet spot. Can we chat some about our approaching activity,” he asked in a quiet whisper.

  “By all means Louie. What do you want to know?”

  “Well, Sam has filled me in about the escapades in your town in Northern California. I know that you are simply to observe our targets, and offer any suggestions to me that might help uncover any developments. I am a Chief Inspector in the French National Police. My operations generally cover criminal activities of interest outside of Paris. I will, for the most part, keep to myself. I am, after all, simply on a holiday with Lola. The pretense of being a Gay traveler should help to keep other guests at their distance…unless of course another…well let’s hope that does not happen.

  “I will be in almost daily telephone contact with Sam to report on the status of our targets. You have my mobile number if you need to talk.

  “By the way, our criminal Ponzi couple, the Coulettis, have checked into the hotel. As we suspected they have changed their names…they are now Fred and Patsy Johnson.”

  Jake shook his head. “Sheesh, you’d think they could have been more creative. And the dumbest thing they did is keep this Seine River Cruise booking. Talk about the hunted exposing oneself to the hunter.”

  “Hey Jake, no one ever has proven that criminals are the smartest breed of Homosapiens!”

  “Anyway, I have the same photo documentation that Sam sent to you, and it is evident that some changes have been made to their appearance. Clyde has lost a bunch of weight, and I have not seen him smoking a cigarette, let alone a cigar. He also no longer is wearing the thick mustache and goatee. The wife, Ella, has lost the stark platinum hair, and is wearing it in a short cut. She is now a brunette. I also detect a post-surgery changed look to the nose, mouth and eyes. She has had breast-reduction surgery, and looks nothing like her photo.”

  Barbara gave Jake a glare, and said, “Oh darn.”

  Lola stood up in her lounge chair and did a big stretch with her tail wagging. She had turned toward the Gallerie Lounge entry and her ears stood up on alert. Louie turned in his seat, and whispered, “Speaking of the devil, er target.”

  “Oh Fred, look at the cute little dog.” Ella Couletti walked over to our table. “I just love dogs.” She scratched Lola’s head. “Aren’t you just too cute with such a beautiful coat of tight, little gray curls. Did you have a perm sweetheart?” Lola lifted her head enjoying a little under-the-chin scratch. “I’m so sorry for my rudeness. I am Patsy Johnson, and this is my husband Fred.” Fred had that tense look on his face, and sported the ‘five o’clock shadow look’ that was stylish in younger men. The gray bristles just made Fred look like on old geezer that forgot to shave.

  We all stood as Louie did the introductions. The waiter, Kent was placing several bowls of snacks and napkins on the glass top. “Welcome to the Gallerie, my name is Kent.” A slight head bow to the newly arrived couple seemed to establish that we now were all friends. Or all hotel-mates, and soon to be ship-mates I thought.

  Fred did an audible ‘harrumpf,’ and said, “Well, it was nice meeting you all.” He grabbed Ella’s…now Patsy’s elbow and directed her to a table on the other side of the lounge. They were ordering from Kent, when Lola suddenly jumped down; trotted to their table and jumped into Patsy’s lap.

  Louie, visibly embarrassed, walked over and said, “Well, Mrs. Johnson, it seems you have made a friend. Lola can sometimes be a nuisance.”

  “Oh she is not a nuisance, and is welcome to sit in my lap at any time…assuming you will allow it of course.”

  “It is not a problem Madame. If you grow tired of her overly friendly manner, just say ‘Lola, down, ‘and she will vacate her lap perch and begin looking for me.”

  Louie and Lola returned to the seating alcove with Barb and Jake. He spoke in a quiet voice. “Lola and I are going to bed. If I don’t see you tomorrow morning before we board the Grand Queen, I will connect with you at the Captain’s cocktail party.” He stood and nodded to the Johnsons; waved his hand and more loudly bid everyone ‘Bonne nuit.’

  Chapter 8

  “Welcome aboard the Grand Queen,” announced Captain Favre with the aid of a bull horn. Our captain was a tall man with blond hair and a commanding voice. He was nattily dressed in his bright white uniform complete with gold braids on his shoulders. His small mustache and goatee were closely trimmed, and also almost white. White Buckskin shoes…shades of Pat Boone…completed the attire. Jake thought he would have to don his sun glasses if he were to have a conversation with Captain Favre on the deck in the bright sun.

  The captain shook the hand of all boarding passengers as his Cruise Service Director handed out a flower to all the ladies.

  We made our way to the cabin assigned to us. Our luggage had already been delivered. A bottle of chilled champagne sat on the room sideboard next to a single red flower in a bud vase. Two beautifully gold-rimmed glasses were waiting to be filled. Barbara picked up the embossed envelope and withdrew a single sheet of parchment. “We all are personally invited by the Captain to a welcoming cocktail party in the ship’s dining room at 5:00 p.m.; Informal, but casual attire is recommended.”

  “Does that cover shorts, sandals, and a T shirt?” Barb could see that Jake did not want to change.

  “I don’t think so Sherlock. Try slacks and a sports shirt; no tie Mr. ‘Top Fashion Male Model of the Year’. I never know when you are joking Jake.” Barb was shuffling through Jake’s suitcase and pulling out her selection
for him.

  ***

  The buzz of dozens of conversations filled the dining room. Passengers were introducing themselves to each other. A lot of hand-shaking and the sound of clinking wine glasses filled the room. The tables and chairs had all been removed which, as intended, forced people to stand and encouraged mingling. Louie and Lola moved about as he introduced himself and his small Yorkie-Poodle. A lot of ‘Ohs and Ahs ‘were heard as the women passengers fawned over the miniature pooch. Lola recognized Patsy Johnson, and eagerly allowed Patsy to administer a lot of cuddling. Louie commented, “Well, now we know Lola and you are fast friends.” Patsy’s husband remained silent, looking around the room and seemed obviously overt in his effort to avoid any close contact with Louie and the dog. He silently wished he could wander out on deck and enjoy one of his favorite stogies.

  Patsy continued chatting with Louie, ignoring Fred. “Lola can sit in my lap, and she will not be a nuisance. Isn’t that right sweetheart?” Jake was watching as Lola gave Patsy a big face-lick and nose to nose bump.

  Jaked poked Barb and nodded for her to check out the scene. “Sheesh, I’m not sure I would be kissing a dog that wanders around checking out things on the floor. One never knows where that nose and tongue have been.”

  “Oh knock it off Jake; I’m sure Louie keeps Lola as clean as a whistle. Besides, it’s common practice in Europe for pets to be admitted with their owners almost everywhere we humans are.”

  “I’m just sayin,” replied Jake. Dog noses, tongues and lips will never touch mine, except our Murph’s of course. By the way, do you get the impression that our targets just do not really like each other?”

  “I do have that feeling. Maybe now that they believe their criminal past is not following them, they are staying together for the time being just to keep tabs on each other. I believe that Fred thinks that Patsy may be a loose cannon, and needs a leash.”

  ***

  The pre-cruise welcoming party was breaking up as passengers sought out their rooms. Dinner would be served in two hours, and sometime during the meal, the Grand Queen’s engines would rumble to life as the magnificent ship would start to creep up the Seine and begin the journey north toward the Normandy Region. The first stop the next morning would be Giverny where Claude Monet lived and worked from 1883 until his death in 1926.

  ***

  Passengers were finishing their first evening meal, and discussing the excellent beef tenderloin wrapped in bacon, roasted red potatoes with a pasta side dish. The selection of wine was voted as ‘magnifique.’

  Louie returned to our table having checked to see how Lola was enjoying her Beef Tenderloin back in their cabin. He announced, “Lola also approves of our meal, and I’ll be taking her for a deck stroll before bed.”

  Patsy Johnson frowned and pursed her lips. “Mr. Bernard, I am going to the ship’s library to finish my book. Could Lola come with me for a few minutes after her walk? I will return her directly to your room within the hour, or sooner if she no longer wants to be with me.”

  “Of course madame. As long as I know where she is, I think she would enjoy your company.”

  Everyone said their good-nights. Some moved to the bar adjacent to the lounge, while others drifted toward the dance floor where the music of the Earl Klugh Trio was playing. Barbara poked Jake and commented, “Let’s show the folks our dance moves Jake.”

  Patsy had curled up with her book in a high back, winged chair in the ship’s library. A cup of hot tea sat on the small side table by her chair. Fred bid her goodnight, and headed for their cabin. “I want to check out my camera gear. I plan to take my own photo tour of the Gothic Notre Dame Cathedral in Rouen. It’s the one often painted by Claude Monet.”

  “Ugh! I’ll pass on that.”

  Lola trotted into the library ahead of Louie and sat looking up at Patsy, her new best friend. Louie said, “She wants you to give a nod if she can jump up on your lap.”

  Patsy nodded and patted her lap. Lola jumped, and was curled up in a split second. “I want to inspect our floating hotel, but I’ll be back in about thirty minutes to see how you both are doing. Just call my mobile phone if you think my tiny friend needs me.”

  ***

  Jake and Barbara were hitting their dance stride with the lively brass ensemble that was spelling for Earl Klugh. “Well Sherlock, I see you haven’t slowed down too much since college.”

  “Elementary my dear Watson. Dancing is like riding a bike.”

  Just then Jake’s mobile began vibrating in his jacket pocket. One of the strongly worded admonitions to all passengers when they first boarded was that cell phones must have the ringers turned off. All having a cell phone must sign an acknowledgement that they agreed, and would comply with this request. The rumor jokingly floating among passengers was that one would be keel-hauled should their phone ringer ever emit the very annoying custom ring or music that phone owners created. A violation of this ship rule would invite a visit by the noise police. The lecture could be quite nasty, and a definite embarrassment for rule-violators. He quickly extracted the phone and put it to his ear.

  “Jake, its Louie, can you casually come right now to the library?”

  Jake pushed open the heavy glass door to the small library. Louie was standing next to Patsy who was sitting in her chair with her book open on her lap. Lola was standing next to Louie. “Jake, this woman is dead!” Patsy’s head was slightly tipped forward with her eyes closed. “I found Lola outside the library obviously looking for me. Anyone peeking in here would have just thought the occupant was dozing. Do we reveal who the Johnsons really are?”

  “I’ve notified our Captain who is on his way with the ship’s doctor. No one else knows as yet. I did not call her husband. Captain Favre has to make that call. By the way I’m still undercover, and you’re just a coincidental passer-by. The Captain will make an announcement that no one can leave the ship until they do a passenger count. If this is a homicide, our murderer could be long gone by now.”

  Jake said, “You’ve got to call the FBI right away. My gut feeling tells me we leave our target’s real identity hidden for the moment. Damn, I knew this whole charade would blow up.”

  Jake leaned in close and sniffed. “Nothing smells peculiar, and I don’t see any blood or bruising, but the doc most likely will have to arrange for an examination, and maybe an autopsy. How did Lola get out of this room? No way could she could have pushed open the heavy door. Was someone else in here? This is one hell of a start for this vacation cruise.” Louie was nodding his head in agreement while he was dictating his personal observations into a small digital recorder.

  Louie whispered to Jake. “You should insist the police be called immediately, and this cup of partially consumed cup of tea be secured for analysis.”

  “Damn! I don’t want any part of this. Louie, you’re the point man for the FBI. You should call Sam immediately to get his take. Her husband, for sure, isn’t going anywhere now.”

  Captain Favre and the doctor rushed into the room. Jake and Louie stepped aside to permit the doctor to observe what clearly was a corpse. The doctor was already leaning in to check for a heartbeat and taking our victim’s temperature with a quick swipe of a thermometer across her forehead. “I declare that this person, Mrs. Patsy Johnson, is most definitely deceased. And Captain, you need to know that her death must have occurred within the past hour. As to a cause, this will take some time to determine. If it was a poison, it acted very quickly.” OK, so much for the obvious, thought Jake. He handed the doctor a folded up Kleenex. I found these on the carpet. If I’m not mistaken these are most likely dog cookie crumbs.

  Jake’s wife, Barbara, had just joined the group, and stood with hands on hips scowling at Jake. “What’s going on, I”…Jake pulled her into the room and did a quick explanation. “Oh my God. She whispered, “Does Sam Know?”

  Chapter 9

  Jake and Captain Favre escorted Fred Johnson to the library. He was wringing his hands while the doctor e
xplained that his wife had passed quickly, but until a full examination was done, the cause was unknown. Jake observed that Patsy’s husband did not appear overly distraught. Barbara quietly agreed with him. “Mr. and Mrs. Vincent, could you please wait outside the library while we talk to Mr. Johnson?”

  The Captain called the Paris office of the National Police, and was told an officer would be boarding the Grand Queen to examine the scene before the victim was moved to a nearby morgue on shore near the town of Giverny. Louie spoke to the Captain, “May Lola and I wait in the cabin? The excitement has upset her. I can assure you I was just returning to fetch Lola, and found Mrs. Johnson exactly as she now appears.” The Captain nodded an OK. On the way out Louie whispered to Jake and Barb that a police officer would arrive any moment, and he had to stay out of sight. “At some point we will be meeting with this police officer that will know who I am. If we can huddle privately, I can explain our situation to protect my identity.”

  “Hold on Louie.” Jake stepped close to Louie and said, “I suspect Sam will be calling you, as I am going to our cabin and talk to him right now just to touch base and give him my input. If you talk to him later, let’s huddle up and review.”

  “Say Hi to Sam for me Jake. I’m going to the Grand Lounge with some of the Ladies. Don’t be too long, I’m bushed, and to have someone die mysteriously on our first cruise night is a fun-killer. I wonder if we all might be danger.”