Spurt

by Chris Miles

  Jack scraped his feet nervously against the asphalt as the Year 7 girls approached. Each of them cradled a smoothie cup as though it were a crystal ball.

  Jack lowered his voice. ‘So? Did you find anything out?’

  ‘We have searched,’ said the first girl.

  ‘We have found,’ said the second.

  ‘We have your answer,’ said the third.

  ‘Okay …’ said Jack.

  The girls shared secretive glances and silently sucked on their smoothies. Finally the first girl lowered her cup and held Jack’s gaze. ‘The username “ModLSkillz” belongs to … someone at this school,’ she said.

  Jack felt suddenly nervous.

  ‘The person who has this username … is someone you know,’ said the second girl.

  ‘No way,’ whispered Jack.

  The third girl nodded. ‘The person with the username “ModLSkillz” is … Oliver Sampson.’

  Jack nodded dumbly, processing the information. He wasn’t completely shocked. In fact, now that he thought about it, he wasn’t shocked at all. Sampson had basically gone from teasing Jack in the changing rooms to teasing him online. But it still didn’t make sense that Sampson would have made an account on the Bigwigs forum two years ago.

  ‘There’s something else,’ said the first girl.

  Jack looked up. ‘What do you mean?’

  ‘Something else about Sampson,’ said the second girl.

  As the other two girls sucked on their smoothies and traded conspiratorial glances, the third girl fixed Jack with her most serious and most beady stare.

  ‘Something you definitely, definitely need to know.’

  The bell rang for lunch. Jack thought about grabbing some hot chips or a pie from the canteen, but then he remembered something about revenge being a dish best served cold, and got a ham and salad roll instead.

  He headed for the quadrangle and found the others already at the table. Sampson was there too. For once, Jack was actually pleased to see him.

  Vivi and Darylyn looked on as Reese jammed his earbuds into a protesting Sampson’s ears. At first Sampson pulled a ‘What the – ?’ face. But after a few moments of having his ears invaded by rocksteady Martian doo-wop or whatever other weirdness Reese had queued up for him, Sampson’s face lit up with a ‘My life is changed!’ glow.

  Vivi looked up as Jack approached. ‘So did you decide already? Because I really don’t want to be sitting next to you for the next double if you’re going to be as spaced out as you were this morning.’ She turned to the others. ‘Mr Jacobs had to call his name out three times in home room.’

  Jack nodded and looked at Sampson, who handed the earbuds back to Reese. ‘Actually, yeah. I have decided.’ He imagined Sampson at his keyboard, hammering out insults about Jack and sending his bitterness out into the world for everyone to see. Because it all made sense now.

  Jack shrugged. ‘It’s a no-brainer, really.’

  Reese wound the earbuds back around his MP3 player. ‘I told you, dude. It’s the right call.’

  ‘Agreed,’ said Vivi. She poked Jack in the arm. ‘Obviously I should be the centre of attention right now that I’m officially in the running for Mayor –’

  ‘I’m doing it,’ said Jack.

  Reese nearly dropped his MP3 player. A flicker of shock passed across Vivi’s face. Darylyn raised an eyebrow.

  ‘I genuinely did not expect that,’ she said.

  But there was only one reaction Jack cared about. He kept his eyes fixed on Sampson.

  Oliver Sampson. Applicant for Bigwigs season two.

  Application rejected.

  It was almost too good to be true. But the Year 7 girls had solid sources: they knew people who knew people who had older cousins who’d done work experience in the Bigwigs production office. Somehow, they’d traced the ‘ModLSkillz’ tag to an application from Oliver Sampson. And for whatever reason, Sampson had been rejected. Jack didn’t care why. All he knew was that he had the upper hand for once.

  Sampson went quiet for a moment. ‘You’re going to be on Bigwigs again?’ he said, finally.

  ‘It’s a reunion special,’ said Jack. ‘Me and the other past contestants. It’s weird, you know – in some ways, you never really stop being a Bigwig. It probably seems weird to someone who’s never actually been a Bigwig themselves –’

  ‘Well, it’s pretty brave of you,’ Sampson butted in.

  Everyone turned to look at him.

  ‘Brave?’ said Jack, frowning. ‘Why?’

  ‘I mean, it’s not like you’ve actually changed at all, Sprigley. Everyone’s going to think there’s something wrong with you.’ With that, Sampson forced his way past Jack and took the closest exit from the quadrangle – nearly knocking over a couple of Year 10s on the way.

  ‘We’ll see,’ Jack called after him, trying to sound more confident than he felt. He’d already texted his mum. She was probably emailing the producers as he spoke. It was basically a done deal.

  He turned to the others and shrugged. ‘I think people might be surprised. They might not even recognise me.’

  Vivi gave Jack a look. ‘What do you mean “might”?’

  Jack’s bed sat at an awkward angle in the middle of the bungalow. Boxes full of books and magazines and comics were stacked against the wall near the doorway to the tiny ensuite.

  ‘So where do you think the bed should go?’ Jack asked Philo.

  Philo appeared to be deep in thought. ‘On the floor,’ he concluded.

  Jack sighed and threw himself onto the bed. ‘It doesn’t matter, I’ll decide later. At least all the big stuff’s shifted in now. Thanks heaps for helping me, Philo.’

  Philo sat at the foot the bed. He was supposed to be manning the Sultana World stand at the Upland Tourist Information Centre, but apparently he’d persuaded his parents to let him have a rare Saturday off. ‘It’s no bother, Jack. I could do this all day!’

  Lucky, thought Jack. They’d been moving furniture since eight in the morning.

  First, they’d moved all of his gran’s things out of the bungalow and piled them up in the back room of the house. There were still a few things to move out of Jack’s room – garbage bags full of his clothes, his schoolbag and a few miscellaneous oddities from under his bed – before they could start moving Marlene’s things in.

  They’d already shifted so many boxes and moved so many pieces of furniture that Jack’s arms and legs were throbbing in places he doubted he’d even grown muscles yet. Philo, though, showed no sign of flagging. He seemed able to lift heavy objects with the power of cheerfulness alone. He hadn’t even complained when Jack had dropped a chest of drawers on his toe. (Jack suspected that he hadn’t actually noticed.)

  ‘It’s a bummer that Vivi and the others couldn’t help. We could’ve had everyone pitching in together!’

  ‘Yeah …’ said Jack. He hadn’t actually told them about his plan to move into the bungalow. ‘They’re being kind of immature about it, to be honest. They don’t really get the whole “keeping up with the other Bigwigs” thing.’

  ‘Oh, so all the other Bigwigs are moving into their own apartments?’

  ‘Not all of them,’ said Jack. ‘Just Piers Blain.’

  ‘But not you?’

  ‘Yes, me! What do you think we’re doing right now?’

  ‘But this isn’t an apartment. It’s a granny flat.’

  ‘Bachelor pad.’

  ‘Right. So where are the other Bigwigs moving to?’

  ‘Nowhere! But they’ve got other stuff going on. Amit Gondra’s got a totally hot girlfriend who’s older than him. Girlfriends, boyfriends, internet addictions, belly button piercings … they’ve all changed in, like, really obvious ways.’

  Philo gave him a solemn look. ‘Jack, I really don’t think you should get your belly button pierced.’

  ‘Come on, Philo. I’m clearly not going to get my belly button pierced. That would look ridiculous.’ (He decided he’d probably just get a tattoo
.) ‘Come on,’ he said, ‘we’d better finish moving Gran’s stuff.’

  Philo followed Jack out of the bungalow and into the midday heat. A badly timed taste of summer was blowing through Upland. Jack wished it had come on a day when he wasn’t shifting heavy furniture around. He opened the sliding door into the back room of the house, where they were met by the sight of Hallie, fresh from the shower, surveying the pile of Marlene’s belongings with a pained look on her face.

  ‘What’s all this crap still doing here? No offence, Gran.’

  Marlene, who’d found a corner of the back room where she could escape the mess, glanced up from her phone. ‘Hmm?’

  ‘I said, Jack still hasn’t moved your stuff.’

  Marlene rolled her eyes. ‘Tell me about it, dear.’

  ‘We’ve just got a few more things to move out of my room,’ said Jack.

  ‘I can’t believe this is even happening,’ said Hallie. She called out to Adele, who was busy unloading some supermarket shopping in the kitchen. ‘I said, I can’t believe this is even happening!’ She turned back to Jack. ‘But then, why should I be surprised? You always get special treatment. I just didn’t think she’d actually let you kick Gran out of her flat.’

  ‘I didn’t kick her out. It was an agreement. Wasn’t it, Gran?’

  ‘Y–yes,’ said Marlene. ‘Something like that.’

  In fact, Marlene had been totally against the idea at first. ‘But Jack, I’d lose all my privacy!’ she’d complained. Which had immediately got Jack thinking about how strange she’d been acting when he’d dropped off her prescription, and how she’d been furtively checking her phone all week. He had no idea why she was being so secretive. All that had mattered to Jack was that he had a bargaining position. He’d felt his Bigwigs mojo coming back to him.

  ‘I see …’ he’d said, narrowing his eyes and rubbing his chin. ‘Interesting.’

  ‘What is, dear?’

  ‘Your reason for not wanting to swap rooms. Privacy. Very interesting.’ He’d paused, keeping her in suspense. ‘It almost suggests there’s something you’re doing you don’t want anyone to know about …’

  That was all it had taken. Suddenly the bungalow was Jack’s. Frankly, even Jack was surprised at how easy it had been. She couldn’t have minded the switch too much.

  Hallie shook her head. ‘So unfair.’

  ‘It’s just for this Bigwigs thing,’ said Jack.

  ‘I know,’ said Hallie, looking at him darkly. ‘Everything’s about Bigwigs. You don’t need to remind me.’

  Adele had finished unloading the groceries. ‘What’s all the shouting about? Oh! You’re still here, Philo.’

  ‘Hello again, Mrs Sprigley,’ said Philo.

  Adele glanced meaningfully at Jack and Hallie. ‘Maybe we could avoid having an argument while there’s a Dawson in the house?’

  ‘There wouldn’t be a Dawson in the house if you hadn’t let Jack move into Gran’s bungalow! Now the whole house is a disaster zone, and I’ve got people coming over in, like, ten minutes!’

  ‘What? Who’s coming over?’ said Jack.

  ‘She’s going to the pool with Natsumi Distagio,’ said his mum. ‘Aren’t you, Hallie?’

  Hallie groaned. ‘Great. It’s not enough that Jack gets everything he wants. Now he’s going to stand around ogling my friends.’

  ‘I’m not a pervert,’ said Jack.

  ‘Oh, so you’ll actually keep your grubby little hands out of your pockets this time?’

  ‘It wasn’t what it looked like,’ Jack muttered.

  The doorbell rang.

  Jack turned to Philo. Meeting Nats in the flesh was a chance for Jack to show everyone that he wasn’t a pervert or a weirdo, despite certain evidence to the contrary. But there was no way he could risk the Philo factor. The potential for embarrassment was too great. ‘Hey Philo, I was thinking maybe you could start clearing the rest of the stuff out of my room?’

  ‘Sure thing, Jack!’

  Philo zipped off down the hallway.

  ‘You know what?’ Hallie grabbed her tote bag and beach towel from the kitchen bench. ‘I don’t want Jack humiliating me. I’m not even going to let them insi–’

  ‘It’s open!’ shouted Adele.

  Jack heard the sound of heels on the slate tiles in the foyer.

  ‘Hello? Hals?’ came a voice.

  And there she was, standing in the space between the foyer and the kitchen. High-heeled sandals, loose white dress over her bikini, hair impossibly golden.

  Natsumi Distagio.

  Adele welcomed her in.

  ‘It’s Natsumi, isn’t it? I’m Adele, Hallie’s mum.’ She paused. ‘And since Hallie’s obviously not going to make the introductions, that’s my mother, Marlene … and this is Jack. Jack Sprigley. Obviously,’ she added.

  Nats smiled at Adele and Marlene. Then she turned to Jack, and a look of recognition passed across her face. She frowned and tilted her head to one side. ‘I’m sure I’ve seen you somewhere recently. You look really familiar …’

  Jack realised she was probably thinking of the spectacle he’d made of himself at the Mayor for a Week information session. He had to act fast.

  ‘Maybe you just recognise me from TV?’ he said nervously.

  ‘Oh, were you in one of those Sultana World ads?’

  Jack shook his head. ‘No, not Sultana World.’

  ‘Avocado World?’

  ‘Jack was on national TV,’ said Adele. ‘He was on Bigwigs. You know, that reality show? And he’s about to go on it again, aren’t you Jack?’

  Jack tried to ignore Hallie’s sharp intake of breath. Nats looked at him in awe. ‘National TV? Really?’

  He shrugged nonchalantly.

  Nats nudged Hallie. ‘Hals, you didn’t tell me your brother was a TV star!’ Her eyes grew wide as she said ‘TV star’.

  ‘That’s because he’s not. It was just a dumb reality show for kids.’

  ‘I really want to be on TV one day,’ said Nats.

  ‘Really?’ said Jack. ‘Because if there’s anything you want to know –’

  ‘I want to know everything!’ said Nats.

  Jack realised what a momentous occasion this was. His first meeting with Natsumi Distagio – and straight away it seemed they had so much in common. He’d been on TV, she wanted to be on TV …

  ‘What’s it like?’ Nats asked.

  Jack stared back at her. ‘It’s like … being in a dream.’

  He realised he wasn’t just describing what it was like being on TV – it was also how he felt being appraised by those soft, brown eyes. It didn’t seem possible this could be happening to him.

  ‘Maybe I could go on one of those supermodel shows,’ said Nats.

  ‘Yeah, definitely,’ said Jack. ‘I mean, you’ve got the body for it.’

  Adele cleared her throat nervously. Marlene glanced up from her phone. Hallie shot him a look of icy censure.

  ‘A body,’ said Jack. ‘You’ve got a complete body. N-not that people with less than the usual number of body parts can’t be models. I think you’d probably win one of those supermodel shows even with a bunch of limbs missing.’

  ‘Oh god,’ said Hallie.

  ‘Limbs missing?’ said Nats.

  Hallie stepped between Nats and Jack, trying to usher Nats out of the house.

  ‘This is why I wanted to just meet you guys at the pool. I told you it was a mistake to come here.’

  ‘But I wanted to!’ Nats turned to Adele. ‘My parents say that family is the most important thing in the world, and I truly believe that.’

  Hallie glanced warily at Nats. ‘Well, just don’t hold it against me?’

  ‘Hals, what are you talking about? Your brother was on TV! That’s a major plus!’

  Hallie rolled her eyes. ‘Maybe we should get going?’

  Nats seemed to shake herself free of the spell that Jack’s fame had cast over her. She rattled her car keys in her hand. ‘Yeah, I guess we should make a mo
ve. Yaz and Stace are waiting.’

  Just then, Philo wandered into the back room from the hallway, wearing a querying look on his face.

  ‘Jack, I tripped over your schoolbag and found this.’

  Jack looked at what Philo was holding. Not that he was really holding it so much as waving it in the air.

  Marlene and Adele squinted, trying to work out what exactly they were looking at. Nats frowned. Hallie looked faint.

  Philo held the merkin up and looked at it, like a ventriloquist exchanging dialogue with his puppet. ‘I wasn’t sure if you wanted it in with your jocks and socks or –’

  Jack thought fast. He needed to divert attention from the question of why he’d been keeping a bundle of pubes in his room, without giving anything else away – like, for instance, the fact that they were the only pubes he had at all. ‘How …’ He made a show of seeming confused, looking down at his shorts and then at the merkin, as if the latter were a bundle of his own actual pubes that had somehow escaped and made a run for it. He looked up at Nats and the others with a ‘What the – ?’ expression. ‘H-how did they … how did my … how did those get over there?’

  ‘Oh god,’ said Hallie. ‘Oh god.’

  Just then, Adele’s mobile buzzed. Jack took the opportunity to shove Philo back down the hallway. Hallie was already dragging Nats out of the house, apparently trying to get as much distance from Jack as possible. Nats waved a quick goodbye over her shoulder.

  Meanwhile, Adele listened to the voice at the other end of the phone. She nodded and made ‘Mmm-hmm’ noises, then glanced up at Jack and mouthed ‘Bigwigs’. She nodded some more, then said, ‘Great. Tomorrow morning. We’ll see you then!’

  Tomorrow morning? thought Jack. The bungalow was only halfway to becoming a proper bachelor pad. He had a long way to go to catch up to the other Bigwigs. But on the plus side, he could roll into school on Monday and tell Sampson he’d already spent a whole day in front of the Bigwigs cameras.

  As for catching up to the other Bigwigs, maybe it wasn’t going to be as hard as he thought. Amit Gondra may have had Jessica Grouth, but Jack, completely unexpectedly, had just managed to lay down some pretty impressive groundwork with Natsumi freaking Distagio.