Completely Captivated
Page 18
“Baby, open the door. It’s me,” I told her before I knocked softly. I waited, my lungs burning from the breath held in my chest. Waiting to see if she’d actually let me in.
After a few anxious seconds, the lock turned, and I waited to see her beautiful face. The door slowly opened, and she stepped back with it. Then she motioned for me to enter with a slight nod of her head. Once I was well inside the room, she closed the door, walking slowly with it to keep her back toward me. She was freshly showered—her hair was still wet, and the sweet aroma of her bath gel was still strong. She wore a T-shirt that swallowed her whole, giving me a peek of her toned legs sticking out from underneath.
Not being able to see her face was killing me. She intentionally kept it hidden from me. I didn’t move from my spot, giving her time to adjust to my being there with her again. I’d put her through hell, and I’d been through my own tour of duty in hell without her.
“Baby, are you all right?” I couldn’t hide the concern for her in my voice. She was too quiet, and I was too impatient. All I wanted was a second chance. All I wanted was to be hers forever.
Christa turned and raised her eyes to mine. They were red-rimmed, bloodshot, and puffy from a deficit of sleep and an abundance of crying. All because of me. The second our eyes collided, she flew across the room and straight into my waiting arms. No longer able to resist, unable to take another second of not being able to touch each other, the consequences and regrets of tomorrow be damned. We were together, and that was all we needed to know.
My arms folded around her, crushing her small frame to me as I buried my face in her hair. Her scent stayed with me, taunting me, creating a void nothing and no one else would ever be able to fill. I went from ice-cold to scorching hot in a millisecond, and my arms wrapped under her ass and pulled her up, sliding her body against mine. Her legs automatically encircled my waist. Her mouth searched for mine, kissing along my jaw before finding my lips then moving along the other side. I carried her, kissing her neck and pulling her earlobe between my teeth, to her bedroom without asking permission. There was no doubt she wanted me as much as I wanted her.
There was so much I wanted to say, so much I needed to explain. But taking a chance on words right then was not a risk I was willing to take. I’d make her feel my love through my every touch. We reached her bed, and I gently set her down before removing her oversized T-shirt. Noting it was actually my shirt she wore gave me a glimmer of hope. I quickly shed my clothes as she watched, her eyes raking over me and silently calling me to her.
The moonlight shone directly through her bedroom window, casting its silvery light across her naked body. Her eyes glistened with unshed tears that she quickly blinked back. My hands reached out to her and cupped her face to kiss her deeply. I tasted the faint sweetness of alcohol. With my intensity increased, I poured every bit of my love into the kiss, willing her to feel it and take her fill of it. I gently pushed on her shoulders, silently instructing her to sit, and then I helped her move up to the head of the bed.
I started at her feet, kissing, licking, sucking, and nipping my way up and down each leg. I took my time loving her, worshiping her entire body, and pouring my whole heart into her. Then I worked my way back up her leg, stopping momentarily at her core to meet her gaze. My chest clenched at her expression. It was a mixture of the worst pain, the purest bliss, and the deepest love I’d ever seen. That expression would haunt me—later. I’d berate myself for causing her so much pain and confusion, but for as long as she’d let me stay, my sole focus was to make her feel better.
I dipped my head and sucked her clit into my mouth. She gasped and grasped my hair in her fingers. Intermittently, I sucked on it lightly then gently ran my tongue over, under, and around it repeatedly. I moved slowly at first, savoring her natural flavor and every sound of approval she made. The intensity inside her was building to massive levels. She was so close but not quite there yet—but she would be there many times before I was done.
“I fucking love how you taste. And the sounds you make. The way your tiny fists pull my hair just before you come. Your breathy voice when you scream my name.” Her body melted under my touch, my words only adding to her need for more.
I increased the suction on her clit then scraped my teeth across it. Her hips bucked upward involuntarily. Her grip on my hair increased, slightly tugging on it and pulling me closer to her at the same time. Her hungry moans were sexy enough to push me over the edge before she even touched me, but I retrained my focus on her pleasure.
I wrapped my arms under and around her legs and pulled her core to my mouth, and I hungrily lapped her up. After a quick dart of my tongue in and out of her pussy before rolling it inside her, she almost sat straight up from the intensity. When she fell back against the pillows, I continued assaulting all her senses. My hot, wet tongue found her nub once again before my lips closed around it and my finger thrust into her waiting entrance.
As I pushed it in, her moans became louder and her grip became tighter. I deliberately moved my finger in and out of her at a leisurely pace. The need to see her almost matched my need to have her, so I raised my eyes to watch her. Her neck was arched back, her eyes welded shut, and her mouth was agape, with her sexy moans involuntarily escaping at my ministrations. With an added second finger filling and stretching her, I increased the pressure and crooked them to catch the spot that sent her over the edge.
“Aaron,” she screamed, and it was the sweetest music.
I pressed on until she rode the last wave of her orgasm and soaked my hand. When I pulled my fingers out of her, she opened her eyes in time to see me put them in my mouth and lick her essence off them. Her lips parted and her eyes widened. The pulse in her neck jumped in time with her pounding heart. She tried to pull me to her, but I gently nudged her back down, silently shaking my head side to side.
Her responding grumble made me smile against her skin as I continued licking, nipping, and sucking my way up her stomach and ribs until I reached her breasts. The stubble of my unshaven jaw rubbed against her soft skin, leaving light red abrasions like they were my own personal branding iron. My possessive side appreciated the fact that her skin held my mark. She was mine, after all, and I was determined to win her back. When I reached her breasts, I took one into my mouth, sucking and biting on her nipple while my hand kneaded her other breast. My thumb and middle finger closed around the taut peak of her nipple, and I continued my double assault on her. Her fingers gripped my shoulders and back, her nails dug into my skin in response to the powerful sensations.
“Aaron,” she panted.
I raised my head to meet her eyes, yet I was afraid to speak the words that were on the tip of my tongue. Afraid the words would break the spell, and she’d tell me to leave. That she’d realize this wasn’t just a dream she’d later wake up from and instantly regret her middle-of-the-night phone call.
“Aaron, if you don’t take me now, I will leave and find someone else who will!”
Her words struck a chord in the hidden chasms of my mind. I knew her declaration was part bluff and all frustration, but that very thought had tormented me countless times every night. The thought spurred me to speak my mind, my response leaving no room for discussion or argument.
“The. Hell. You. Will. You are mine, Christa. For better or for worse. Till death do us part. And it’ll be over my dead fucking body that any other man touches you–or it’ll be his fucking death.” I meant every word of it.
Her eyes widened in surprise, studying my face and partly losing the glazed look of desire. I sensed my fear was about to come true—she was on the verge of realizing our rendezvous was a huge mistake and making me leave. So I decided to finish what she asked me to start. I aligned the head of my cock at the entrance of her wet core then slowly pushed into her, giving her body time to adjust to my size.
Once I’d pushed in to the hilt, burying myself fully inside her, I curled my hips and thrust slightly harder into her. I straightened my a
rms and looked directly into her eyes, holding hers captive. The glazed look returned to her eyes, and her hands moved to my chest, gripping, holding, and stroking me as I thrust into her harder and harder.
When she closed her eyes, I immediately issued an order. “Open your eyes and look at me. See me, Christa. You were made for me and only me. You are like a finely tuned violin, custom-made to be played only by my hands. Your body wraps around and fits me perfectly. I know every sound you make, when your breathing changes, and only I can give you what your body craves. I am the only man who can answer its call. You. Belong. To. Me. And I belong to you.” I kept my voice low and let it flow across the air between us. Her inner walls quivered and squeezed me as her body shuddered at my words.
I pulled her legs up, wrapped my arms behind her knees, and increased the angle and depth of my penetration. Christa grasped at the sheets, writhing beneath me in sheer ecstasy. Harder and harder, I thrust into her over and over until her orgasm completely took her over the edge. When she screamed out my name again, I felt her tightness squeezing around me, holding me inside her and milking me for everything I have. I gladly gave it to her, emptying myself deep inside her and groaning with complete satisfaction as I said, “You have all of me.”
I lovingly and slowly placed kisses all over her face and neck, reveling in her taste and smell as long as I could. My body still covered hers, but I held my weight off her to avoid crushing her petite body. I was still buried deep inside her and couldn’t bring myself to pull out, to feel that emptiness again. Whatever it took to win her back, I silently vowed I would do it. I didn’t want to push her, but I’d never just back off and leave our fate to chance.
The realization of what just happened between us crept into her eyes. I steeled myself against what she might do or say next. Would she regret it? Would she tell me to leave? Or would she admit she loved me and wanted to be with me? The questions flew through my mind at a mile a minute as I searched her eyes for the answers.
“Don’t.” I lowered my head and whispered the command softly in her ear.
“Don’t, what?” she whispered back.
“Don’t worry about tomorrow. Stay right here—with me, right now.”
“Okay.” Her reply was unsure, but I’d take it. At least I had a brief shot at convincing her I was sorry. That I loved her. That I wanted our marriage, our life.
I reluctantly rolled off her and aligned our bodies, turning so that her back was to my front, and my arm was draped over her protectively. I pulled her as close to me as possible. After a couple of minutes, she couldn’t stop her body from shaking or her tears from falling. Her sniffles killed me, because I knew I caused them.
“Talk to me, baby. What are you thinking?” My lips were against her neck, and her hair was fanned out on the pillow above her head, giving me full access to her sensitive skin. Placing light kisses along the back of her neck and shoulders, I hoped my touch helped her relax and talk to me.
She wiped her eyes and took a deep breath before speaking. “I’m thinking about how much I’ve missed you, Aaron.”
“I’ve missed you, too, baby. So fucking much, you have no idea.” But the fact that she admitted she missed me made my heart soar. “What else are you thinking?”
She hesitated a little longer than I was comfortable with, so I rose up on my elbow to see her face. She rolled over onto her back and met my gaze before she answered.
“I’m really trying to stay in the now for tonight, Aaron. I don’t want to talk about the rest…yet.”
A Date at Court
Aaron
I knew I shouldn’t have pushed. I should’ve taken what she was willing to give and not questioned her. But the part of me that desperately wanted to claim her as mine, and hear her say she was, refused to let our relationship stabilize naturally.
So I pushed.
She retreated.
Then when she felt cornered, she unleashed on me with both barrels.
“What am I thinking?” Her tone dripped with pain and anger. “I’m thinking about all the pictures and news clips I had to watch with barely clothed models hanging all over you. Then to hear the entertainment news talk about your relationship with those girls—but we both know what they meant by that, don’t we?
“Add to that how you and your brother ambushed me with divorce papers in his office. If none of that is enough to explain my hesitation, throw in how pathetic I am for calling you tonight, knowing everything I know, after everything you’ve done to me.”
The more she ranted, the madder she became, and she eventually told me to leave, despite my pleas to hear me out. Despite my reassurances those models were no one to me and nothing happened. Despite my explanation of holding the model’s hand in mine was only to keep her hands off me.
She said just looking at me hurt her too much. She said she couldn’t let me go, but she couldn’t stay with me either.
Rather than get arrested, I left. Slowly. Dejected. Disappointed.
But not defeated.
That was a week ago, but she still loved me. She wanted to be with me, but she was afraid to give her heart to me again. She wanted to forgive me, but her pride was in the way.
The thing was, when it came to her, I had no pride. Because without her, my chance of ever being happy again was slim to none. My text to her that day was simply to tell her what she meant to me.
“I’m sorry I pushed you when you weren’t ready. I only wanted to love you, but I hurt you instead. So I want you to know, nothing matters without you. My heart still beats in your chest. My love still flows through your veins. How do I know? Because I still feel you when you’re not here. I love you, Christa.”
I hit send and watched like a stalker until the “read” status showed underneath my message. She didn’t reply, but I didn’t expect to hear from her yet. We’d both been silent for the past week, and I hoped I’d given her time to decompress after our emotional night.
After I finished writing my next letter to her, I made the drive to my former office. It was time. It was past time, actually, and I was so looking forward to writing “the end” on that chapter of my life.
I strolled into Lance’s office with a smile on my face. The fact that that day was the first time I’d genuinely smiled when showing up at my own business wasn’t lost on me.
I smiled because it was officially my last day. Lance was buying out my half of the business by converting our privately owned company to a publicly traded company. The faithful, high-performing employees would receive stock options as a retention incentive. I was happy for Lance, and I was happy for Rivers Forte. It would make the company stronger. Most of all, I was happy for me. I was finally stepping out from my brother’s shadow—and from underneath his thumb.
“Aaron. How have you been?” Lance approached me and shook my hand. The way he looked at me was new—almost as if he was seeing me for the first time.
“I’m okay. I’ve started building plans for my next venture. I’m trying to win my wife back. Getting my life and priorities in order.”
“First order of business, just sign a few papers, and I’ll have the money wired into your account. You’ll be free and clear of all agent duties for Rivers Forte.”
“Music to my ears. Thank you, Lance. I appreciate everything you’ve done to make this happen.”
He nodded, but the serious expression didn’t leave his face. “Have a seat.” He motioned toward a chair, then sat in the one next to me instead of behind his huge oak desk. “Years ago, I believed you needed me to take charge and tell you which direction to take. You were lost after the accident, and Mom, Dad, and I were afraid we’d lose you forever.”
The mere mention of that time in my life was almost enough to send me back into a tailspin I wouldn’t recover from. A few mere months ago, the memories of it would have consumed me. The guilt would’ve eaten me alive. The blow to my self-esteem would have negated all the accomplishments I’d made since then.
But no
t anymore.
“I did need your guidance then, there’s no doubt. But I’ve realized I outgrew the need for your help a long time ago. I’ve kept the peace, but every time I’ve tried to make my own way, you throw that back up at me. And put me right back in my place.
“No more. It was a long time ago, and I’m not that same young man anymore. I’m grown. I’m making all new mistakes, but they’re mine. My choices. My life. My decisions.”
“You’re right. You’re exactly right, and I’m sorry. I know that doesn’t make up for the shit I’ve put you through, but know everything I’ve ever done has been to help and support you. Even if I executed my actions poorly.”
“Wow. What is becoming of Lance Rivers? You keep surprising me.”
He laughed and shook his head. “I met someone. And she has turned my world upside down. Plus, she calls me out on my shit and makes me see the error of my ways.”
“I am speechless. My brother is in love.”
“Yeah, well, she helped me understand what Christa means to you. I want to help you save your marriage.”
“I’m all ears.”
“The hearing is in a couple of weeks now, Aaron. From what I read, they’re pushing for it based on your medical condition at the time of the ceremony. They allege you weren’t of sound mind at the time. With your concussion and subsequent amnesia diagnosis, the judge could grant it.
“Annulments are still very rare, regardless of what anyone says. I wouldn’t have taken the case myself because the chance of winning is very low. I want to help make sure there’s no chance in hell it’ll be awarded.”
“Tell me what you need.”
“We need proof you knew what you were doing at the time vows were exchanged. Do you remember the ceremony yet?”
“Only bits and pieces of my memory have returned. But I have a packet at home that includes a DVD of our ceremony and a bazillion pictures we had made immediately afterward. The DVD clearly shows I was of sound mind and elated over our wedding. I recited my own vows.”