Her easy acquiescence did nothing to soothe my temper. I needed a fight. Needed to make her see how stupid she’d been in storming off like that. “If I hadn’t been there—”
“But you were,” she said quietly.
“But if I wasn’t.” I tightened my arms around her, picturing all the horrible things that could have happened to her. All the gruesome things men liked to do to defenseless women like her. “Do you have any idea what it would do to me if you were hurt? I can’t even imagine—”
She lifted her head and kissed me, shutting me up quite effectively. For once, I didn’t want to fight her off. Didn’t want to give a damn about my duties or expectations. Didn’t give a damn what kind of contract I’d signed that said I wasn’t allowed to touch her. For once, I…
Didn’t want to stop.
I held on to Finn as tight as I could, kissing him for as long as he would let me. At any minute, he would push me away and curse, but I didn’t care right now. After the scare in the street, and his even more impressive saving of my stupid butt, I couldn’t stop thinking about how it had felt with that knife to my throat. I hadn’t been as scared for myself as I had been for Finn when he went for that guy. I’d been terrified he would get hurt trying to save me.
Frightened he would get stabbed or worse…die.
All because I had to go and be a stubborn idiot who refused to leave with him. I knew better than to walk off into the dark city streets. Knew not to storm off in a huff when danger lurked nearby. My actions had put myself, and consequently, Finn, in danger. If he had been injured trying to save me, I never would have forgiven myself.
I strained to get closer, but his hold on me didn’t allow me to move. He broke off the kiss and dropped his forehead on mine, taking a shaky breath. “I don’t want to stop, babe. I swear it. But you could be in shock…”
“I’m not,” I said quickly, grabbing his hand and holding it to my cheek. “I’m fine. I want you so bad it hurts.”
His jaw flexed, but I could see his answering need in his eyes. “I shouldn’t.”
“You should.”
“Carrie…” He closed his fingers on my hips, lifting me up and lowering me on his lap so I straddled him.
“Oh my God.” His erection pressed against my core, making me moan. I entwined my hands behind his neck, the cool metal of his dog tags digging in to my skin. He hadn’t even taken them off before seeking me out. “You really should, Finn.”
He made a long sound, half groan and half agreement. “I can’t fight this anymore. I don’t even want to.”
And with that, he buried his hands in my hair and tugged me down, his mouth seeking mine. For that brief second, the time that our mouths hovered close to each other, I knew I hadn’t made a mistake in falling for him. I had fallen hard, and there was no going back.
His lips touched mine and all thought fled. All I knew was Finn was kissing me, and things finally felt right. And this time when he kissed me, he held nothing back. I knew it from the way his lips moved over mine. His mouth devoured mine hungrily, and he arched up against me, letting his erection rub where I needed him most. I dug my fingernails into his shoulders, holding him closer.
Begging him not to leave with my actions instead of my words. If he pulled away now, I didn’t think I would recover. If he stopped now, I just might break. But he didn’t. Instead, he stood up and cupped my butt, holding me in place as he headed toward the bedroom. Slowly, he lowered me to his bed, never breaking off the kiss.
My head spun as his lips worked mine, making everything but him disappear from my mind. The way he kissed me. How amazing his hands felt on my body. The feel of the soft bed underneath my back, contrasting with his hard body on top of mine. Pressing me down and making me want more.
Tentatively, I ran my fingers down his back, sliding them up his shirt when I reached the hem. His hot skin burned my fingers, and the way he moaned into my mouth set me afire. I traced my nails down his spine, growing bolder the lower I went. When I reached the waistband of his shorts, I scraped my nails against his lower back.
He hissed and tore his mouth from mine. “Are you sure you want this?”
Unable to talk, I nodded and reached for him again. He stretched and ripped his shirt off over his head, and then melded his mouth back to mine. His free hand, with the other firmly on my hip, roamed all over. My sides. My stomach. My neck. When he traced the curve of my breast, I gasped into his mouth and arched my back.
He needed to do that again.
Apparently I said that out loud. He chuckled. “I will.”
“Please,” I whimpered.
Slowly, he crept my shirt over my stomach, stopping at the bottom of my bra. I caught my breath, afraid to move. Afraid if I made a sound, he would grow a conscience again and stop doing those magical things to me. He met my eyes, his own hot and unwavering. “Have you kissed Cory again?”
“W-What?” I asked, caught off guard.
“Since you kissed me, have you kissed him?” he asked, his jaw ticking.
I shook my head. “No. Of course not. Just the once.”
“Good.” He lifted my shirt a little bit more, his fingers brushing my bare skin, never dropping my gaze. “You’re mine now. Don’t forget it.”
I swallowed hard at the possessiveness in his tone. I should argue or say I didn’t belong to any man. Assert my independence. But right now? Right here? I was his. One hundred percent his, and perfectly happy to be there. “I won’t. Now kiss me again.”
He took off my shirt the rest of the way and closed his mouth over mine. As he worked his magic with his tongue, his fingers toyed with the strap of my bra, tugging gently. Before I could even blink, he had the strap undone and was lowering the tiny scrap of fabric off my breasts. For a second, I worried he might not like what he saw. Worried I would disappoint him somehow.
But he reared back and looked down at me…and I was lost. He was seeing what no man had ever seen before. I didn’t want to hide from him. Didn’t want to deny him a single thing. Not tonight. I let my hands fall to my sides. He swallowed so hard I could see it, and then traced a finger over my bare stomach, creeping closer and closer to my left breast.
“You’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen,” he uttered, almost as if he didn’t realize he said it out loud.
Before I could respond, or even decide if I should respond, he lowered his head to my breast, flicking his tongue over my sensitive nipple. “Finn,” I cried out. I gripped his head, urging him closer. Needing him closer.
His slid his hands under my back, arching my back for me. I bent one leg, spreading my thighs to let him in. Knowing instinctively that he needed to be there to ease the ache building inside me, begging for release. He moved into the crook of my thighs, but didn’t press his erection against me. Instead, he scraped his teeth against my nipple and sucked harder.
“I-I need you.” I licked my lips and added, “Please.”
His hands trembled as he let go of me and undid my pants. I lifted my hips, letting him undress me, and didn’t so much as flinch as he lowered them down my legs. When he reached for my panties, I grabbed his hand and swallowed the nervous bubble of laughter threatening to escape me.
I might be a virgin, but I knew what came next. And before I was completely naked, things needed to get taken care of. “Do you have protection?”
He pushed off the bed and opened the nightstand next to it, pulling out a purple foil package. He tossed it onto the bed and made quick work of removing his shorts. When he ripped off his boxers, I didn’t drop my gaze from his body. If he saw my shyness and my uncertainty, he might back down. As it was, he surely thought I was more experienced than I was.
I knew if he knew I was a virgin, this wouldn’t be happening.
As he stepped out of the last piece of clothing he
wore, I feasted my eyes on him. Tattoos covered his upper arms and shoulders. That I already knew. But his lower half was devoid of any ink. In a way, I was glad. The perfection of his body was an artwork all by itself, and I couldn’t help but think any more ink would detract from the muscle and flawlessness I saw right now.
When my gaze dropped to his penis, I practically choked on the deep breath I took. No matter how many romance books I read, I hadn’t been expecting that much length. Holy crap. No romance book could ever have prepared me for this. He was magnificent.
He approached me, his steps sure. When he lowered his body over mine, I stopped trying to do calculations on the likelihood of him fitting all the way inside of me without tearing something vital. I wasn’t a fool. Women had been doing this since the beginning of time, and I was no different than any of them.
Though Finn might just be bigger than all the other men.
He sucked my other nipple into his mouth, ripping open the condom as he did so. After a few quick movements, his hands were back on my skin, burning paths everywhere he touched. My blood heated, and my stomach clenched tight, building a pressure that I was powerless to stop. Powerless to control.
When he kissed a path down my stomach, taking little bites as he went, I went mad with desire. Tossing my head back and forth on the pillow, I moaned and cried out and dug my nails into his skin. He flicked his tongue over my clitoris before taking that into his mouth too.
Oh, holy mother of freaking God. That felt way too good to ever stop. I would make him stay down there forever. He could take breaks for water and food, but that was it. I dug my heels into the mattress, letting out a whimper that didn’t even remotely sound like me.
He groaned and adjusted his hold on me. I, in turn, tightened my legs on his head, refusing to let him move until he gave me what I needed. Until I found the release I knew his mouth could give me. “Don’t stop,” I demanded, panting for air.
He ran his hands up my calves, then down my thighs. When he reached my hips, he lifted me higher. Something in the changed position must have made for optimal pleasure, because my whole body tingled and went weak. I clung to his hands, needing to hold on to something secure before I let go of all control.
And when I did, letting the pleasure wash over me, all of the pressure that had been building inside of me burst into a million pieces. As my whole body went limp with gratification, he dropped my hips and settled in between my legs. He rubbed against me, exactly where his mouth had just been, and another wave of intense pleasure crashed over me.
Capturing my face in between both of his hands, he kissed me gently. As his mouth played over mine, I could taste the familiar flavor of Finn I’d come to know and also myself on his tongue, making for an intoxicating combination that made me even more eager for him to come inside me. More desperate for him to fill me completely.
“Carrie,” he gritted out, his hold on my hips tight. “I can’t go slow or be gentle.”
I opened my mouth to warn him about the technicality of me still being a virgin, but it was too late. He thrust inside of me with one quick movement, and the pain of him ripping through me blended with the satisfaction at having him buried deep inside of me, where I’d wanted him for weeks.
Having Carrie in my arms was more than I could bear. Better than I’d imagined. Nothing could describe the way she made me feel, so I wouldn’t even bother to try. I fused my mouth with hers before surging into her, unable to believe how fucking amazing she made me feel. How she could bring me to my knees with a simple touch. Make me want to stay there too, I’d bet. I’d had sex with a good amount of women during the years, but I’d never done this.
Never made love before.
But then I crashed through the resistance I’d suspected might be there. I reared back, looking down at her with concern. “Are you okay?” Then, realizing I should act surprised, I added, “Wait. You’re a virgin?”
“Y-Yes.” I started to pull out of her. She closed her legs around my waist, blinking back tears even as she tried to keep me inside of her. But I was hurting her. “No. Don’t stop. I want…I need…”
She rolled her hips up tentatively, more than likely experimenting with the sensation of having me inside her. I gritted my teeth and forced myself to remain still, letting her test out the waters, so to speak. “You should have told me.”
“I was afraid you’d stop,” she said, running her fingers lightly over my back. “Please don’t stop. Don’t let go.”
“I’ve got you,” I promised, nibbling on her ear. I knew I should stop. Should end this right here and now, but she kept moving underneath of me, and letting out tiny breathy moans that drove me fucking wild. I couldn’t stop. Not ever. “And I won’t.”
She thrust her hips up again, and a sheen of sweat formed on my forehead. Her tight pussy gripped me more closely than I could ever have imagined, and my cock screamed at me to move inside of her. To finish what I started.
She dug her heels into my ass, urging me closer. “It doesn’t hurt anymore. Move inside me.”
I pulled almost all the way out of her, then slowly drove back in. I groaned at the pleasure she gave me, unable to bite it back. Her body fit mine like a glove. It was as if she was made for me and me alone. My arms trembled from the strength I exerted to hold myself back. To not hurt her. I kept my weight on them, not wanting to crush her. “That okay?”
She nodded and lifted her head. “Kiss me and move faster.”
The control I’d had over my motions snapped, and I crashed my mouth down on hers. I moved inside of her, hesitantly at first, but growing more and more sure as I went. She moaned and squirmed beneath me, begging for more. Once I was certain I wasn’t hurting her, I lifted her hips in my hands and drove deeper. She cried out and scratched her nails down my back, probably drawing blood and waking up the neighbors.
I didn’t even give a flying fuck.
I needed her too badly. It had all started with an immediate attraction, but now it was more. So much more. As I grew closer and closer to the precipice, I tried to focus on her. The way her eyes were slit, barely letting me see the bright blue sapphire. The way she let out tiny puffs of air through her swollen lips. But most of all, the way she moaned my name as I brought her higher and higher, refusing to stop until I made her come again.
When she finally tensed and bowed against me, frozen in time, I let myself go. I thrust one more time inside of her, going as deep as I could possibly go, and cried out, “Carrie.”
As the strongest orgasm I’d ever had rushed through my veins, I collapsed on top of her, keeping my weight on my elbows. She tightened her legs around me, seeming to not want to let me go, and hugged me close, her own breathing as ragged as mine. If she didn’t want to let me go, that was fine by me. I could happily lie here as long as she wanted me to.
I buried my face in her neck, closed my eyes, and waited for the regrets and the guilt to come. Waited for cold, hard reality to come crashing over me once I remembered all the reasons I shouldn’t have done this. And even more terrifying? Knowing she would hate me for taking her virginity while lying to her. When she knew what I really was—who I really was—she would never forgive me for taking her under false pretenses. And I would never forgive myself either.
I needed to find a way to fix this.
I lifted myself on my elbows and looked down at her, sweeping her sweaty hair off her face. I knew I should be feeling that suffocating guilt right about now, but it wasn’t coming. She smiled, her eyes warm and soft and on me. “Wow.”
“Yeah.” I grinned at the wonder in her voice, despite myself. “You okay, Ginger?”
She nodded and arched a brow. “Are you okay?”
I laughed. “I think so.” I slowly withdrew from her, watching her for any signs of pain. She flinched when I pulled out of her completely, but besides that
she seemed fine. “You really should have told me, though.”
She didn’t even pretend to misunderstand me. She was a smart girl, my Carrie. “Would it have made a difference?”
I thought about it, but I already knew the answer. I wouldn’t have stopped. I’d been lost in her the second she walked out on that beach more than a month ago, demanding for whoever was hiding in the shadows to show themselves. I’d been lost this whole time, but I’d been fighting it. I was done fighting her. From now on, I would fight for her.
For us.
“No, it wouldn’t have. I couldn’t have stopped any more than you could have,” I admitted. “But now I need to take care of you.”
I brushed my lips over hers before sliding off the bed. As I walked to the trash can to remove the condom, I took a deep breath. This obviously changed everything between us. I couldn’t ignore my need to be with her any more than I could ignore the pressing need to admit my real identity to her before it was too late.
She would be angry with me at first, but if I came clean on my own—without her finding out when I wasn’t there—then maybe she would understand. Maybe she could find it in her heart to forgive me and allow us to continue on as we had been, only without any lies between us. Yeah, and maybe some pigs would fly by wearing Wonder Woman costumes too.
Actually…that might be more likely.
I turned around and crossed the room to my bed. She let out a squeal when I picked her up and carried her into the bathroom. “I can walk, you know.”
“You can, but I want to carry you.” I kissed the tip of her nose before I set her down in front of the shower. “And you like making me happy, so you’ll let me.”
She huffed. “So, that’s how you’re gonna play this, huh?”
“Uh-huh.” I turned on the shower, grinning the whole time. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d felt so happy. Probably never. “Is it working?”
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