She splayed her hands over my shoulders, sliding them in front of my body. She rested them over my heart, pressing her cheek against my bare back. “Yes.” I stopped moving, not wanting to break her hold. Not wanting her to let go. But then she did, and she slid her hand under the water. “Perfect. You coming in, too?”
I cocked a brow. “You have to ask?”
She laughed. “Guess not.” She stepped into the shower and smiled at me. “This is weird. I’ve never showered with someone else.”
“Well, it’s another first for you then.” I joined her and pulled her into my arms. Her naked body pressed against mine, making my cock harden again, but I wouldn’t touch her. Not tonight. She needed rest. “I want to be all your firsts from now on.”
She laid her head against my chest, directly over my heart. Did she know she owned it yet? “Sounds like a plan.”
I grabbed her hair and got it damp, watching the water cascade down her bare back, only to roll down her ass. After clearing my throat, and mentally slapping myself in the face for being a perv, I reached for the shampoo. As I washed her hair, her eyes drifted shut and she let out a happy sigh.
I rinsed out the suds, watching her face as I did so. She looked so peaceful and innocent. “Sorry, I only have men’s shampoo.”
“That’s okay.” Her lids drifted up. “I’ll smell like you.”
I made a mental note to buy her some girly shampoo in the morning. And a toothbrush. If I had my way, she’d be spending a lot more time here with me from now on. “Next time, you’ll have something better.”
Her eyes drifted shut again and she yawned. I made quick work of washing her body, pausing at the blood smeared between her legs. I’d done that. Taken her innocence. The fact that she’d chosen me, trusted me, was enough to make me want to scream. Soon, she would hate me. Soon, she would regret this.
I rinsed her off, and then quickly washed my own body. She leaned against the tile wall, her eyes devouring me. “Can I do you?”
I bit back a groan. “I don’t think that’s a good idea. I already want you again, but you can’t handle that. Your body needs rest.”
She licked her lips. “Are you so sure of that?”
“Yes.” Fuck my fucking conscience. “Positive as a proton.”
Her eyes went wide, then she let out a nervous laugh. “You heard that?”
“I did,” I admitted, shooting her a sheepish grin.
“Oh God.” She dropped her forehead onto her palm. “How embarrassing.”
“You mean adorable?”
“Nope,” she quipped.
I turned off the water and grabbed two towels. As we dried off, my eyes never left her. She was so gorgeous. Her pale skin contrasted fantastically with the smattering of red curls between her legs. She had a few freckles across her body, but for the most part, she was all ivory skin and temptation. I dropped my towel and cupped her face, tilting her it up to mine.
I ran my fingers over the line of freckles that ran across her cheeks and over her nose. “I love these little freckles. You know that?”
“I hate them.”
“They’re perfect, just like you.”
I kissed her, making sure I kept it light. I swung her in my arms and carried her to the bed. After I gently set her in the middle of it, I reached down to the foot of the bed and lifted the covers over her bare body. She lay on her side, her hands folded under her cheek, watching me. I pulled my phone out of my pocket and quickly let her father know she was safe and sound.
I just neglected to mention she was safe and sound in my bed.
When I crawled under the blanket with her, she smiled and ran her fingers through my damp hair. Something that had nothing to do with lust rolled over me, like a tidal wave. She nibbled on her lower lip and tugged the blanket higher. The pink tinge in her cheeks hinted at her vulnerability.
“Stay the night with me?” I asked.
She gave me a small smile. “Do I really have a choice? You already tucked me in.”
“Not really.” I pulled her into my arms. “I was simply pretending to be a democracy.”
She snorted, but burrowed closer. “Fine, but are you going to wake up and then curse and apologize in the morning?”
“Nope.” My arms tightened around her. “I’m done fighting.”
She smiled up at me, her eyes shining. “Really?”
“Really.”
She smoothed a piece of my hair off my forehead. “So, uh, are we still just friends? Or…?”
I laughed and hauled her against my body. “Some friends might do that, but not me. We’re more than friends now, Ginger.”
“Do we have a name?” she asked, her voice soft.
Yeah. Mine was liar. Hers would be mad.
The guilt I’d been expecting had arrived right on schedule.
But for one simple night, I didn’t want to think about anything. Didn’t want to think about repercussions, or what her dad would say when he found out I hadn’t followed the rules. Even worse? What my dad would say. Would my actions ruin Dad’s chances at getting the big retirement pension?
No, I couldn’t let it. I’d find a way to fix this, but it started with telling Carrie the truth.
“I’m not sure yet, but I know this changed everything,” I said, kissing the top of her head. “Every fucking thing.”
Her fingers closed around my shoulders, holding on tight. She yawned loudly. “You don’t exactly sound happy about that.”
“I’m happy.” I swallowed all of my fears and doubts, trying to drown them out with a bright smile. “I have you. What more could I need?”
“How was drill?”
“Boring and utterly exhausting.” I hesitated, then added, “And I missed you.”
“I missed you, too.” She smiled and snuggled into the crook of my elbow. “Can you wake me up at seven for class?”
“Yep.”
I reached out and switched off the light. I lay there, holding her close, and tried to come up with the best way to tell her what I was. Tried to come up with a gentle way of breaking the news. Bad thing was? There wasn’t one. No matter how I said it, she would hate me.
Her breathing evened out almost immediately, but the weight of my lies pressed me down into the mattress until I couldn’t breathe anymore. How was I supposed to sleep when I could think of nothing but what I’d done?
And what I had to do. I had to tell her.
“You awake?” I whispered.
She mumbled something and scooted closer to me, letting off a soft snore. I wanted to wake her up and spill my guts, but I forced myself to lie still.
Tomorrow. Tomorrow I would tell her the truth.
This afternoon class was never going to end. I sat back in my seat and eyed the clock. Only three more minutes until my class was over, and then I could see Finn. He’d promised to meet me at the dorm afterward, and I couldn’t wait to see him again. Couldn’t wait to kiss him and hold him and hug him. And, well, more.
I fanned my cheeks with my notebook as I recalled exactly what we’d done last night, and how amazing it had made me feel. How amazing I’d made him feel. I wanted more. Lots more. I’d known sex brought pleasure. Known I would enjoy it. But with Finn, it far surpassed pleasurable. As a matter of fact, what he did to me just might tip the Richter scale.
Cory elbowed me and tipped his head toward the professor. The professor, meanwhile, was looking at me. No. Scratch that. The whole class was watching me. I sat up straight in my seat and smoothed my hair. Why were they all staring at me?
Professor Hanabee turned red and shoved his hands in his pockets. “Would you be answering my question anytime soon, Carrie?”
“Uh,” I said, looking to Cory for some help. He didn’t even look at me. Just stared at the fro
nt of the classroom. “What was the question again?”
The professor rolled his eyes. “Cory?”
Cory gave the answer easily.
I looked down at my notebook. All I’d done was draw squiggles and a few random words like bilateral and hemorrhage. I thought I saw Finn’s name in there too, but I could be wrong.
Professor Hanabee gave me one last, piercing look, then turned back to the class. “There will be a quiz tomorrow. You may go now.”
While everyone else got up, I kept my head lowered. My cheeks were on fire, but I knew that I had no one to blame but myself. I’d always been at the head of my class. Straight A’s. Eye on the end game. What the heck did I think I was doing, neglecting my academic obligations to daydream about a guy? I slammed my book shut and stood. After collecting the rest of my stuff, I started down the steps.
“A moment, please?” Professor Hanabee called out.
“Yes?” I climbed the rest of the way down and stood in front of his desk.
He wore one of those god-awful professor jackets with the patches on the elbow, and his glasses kept sliding down his nose. He jammed them back up with a short, stubby finger. “Did I mention I’m friends with your father? He calls for updates every so often. I’d hate to give him a bad answer.”
I swallowed hard to stop the scathing reply trying to escape. Of course Dad would have friends on staff. He had spies everywhere. “Yes, sir.”
I headed for the door, mentally figuring out how much time I would need to cram a day’s worth of missed lesson into my head. Would there still be time for my fun evening with Finn? Could I do both? Cory waited at the door for me, his sandy blond hair perfectly in place like usual. The complete opposite of Finn’s messy curls. He leaned against the wall, phone in his hand.
When I came to his side, he lifted his head. “Hey.”
“Hey.” I scanned the crowd for Finn. “Sorry about today.”
He followed my gaze. “Looking for someone?”
“Yeah,” I answered distractedly. “Finn.”
“Marie said you didn’t come back to the room last night.” Cory shoved his phone in his pocket and gave me a look. A look that said he had his suspicions where I had been, and what I’d been doing. “Where were you?”
I stiffened. “I don’t see how that’s any of your business.”
“I thought that we had something going between us, so, yeah, it kind of is.”
Cory yanked on the collar of his polo. His pink-and-yellow striped polo, buttoned all the way up to his neck. Did he ever let loose? Wear a T-shirt that didn’t come from a brand name store, or stop thinking so much about what everyone would think about him if he did?
“We’re just friends. I like you a lot, and you’re a great guy. Excellent, really. Any girl would be lucky to have you.” I sighed. God, I sucked at this stuff. “But I’m kind of with someone else right now.”
He stiffened. “The surfer?”
“Yeah.” I swallowed back my arguments that Finn was more than a surfer. More than what Cory decided to label him as. He was smart, funny, handsome, brave…
Cory chuckled and his shoulders relaxed. “Good.”
I blinked at him. “Good?”
“Yeah.” He stared at his impeccable nails. “It won’t last, and when it falls apart, you’ll come back to me.”
“That’s a really shitty thing to say,” I snapped, heading toward the doors. “He’s a great guy.”
Cory’s mouth pressed tight. “He can be great all he wants, but it still won’t work. You aren’t the same type of people.”
“You’re wrong.” I stopped walking. “You don’t know him like I do.”
“No, I’m not wrong,” he said, his face red. I opened my mouth to slam his opinions to the dirt, but he didn’t give me a chance. “You’ve got plans in your life that don’t include a surfer boy who has no immediate goals in his life besides when he should catch his next wave.”
“He has a great job. He’s a Marine.” I took a breath. “How dare you pretend that’s not a career.”
Cory rubbed his temples. “He’s got nothing to offer you, really. Can’t help you study. Has no knowledge of what you’ll be doing with your life. Won’t get along with your father. He’s a rebellious stage in your life. Nothing more.”
“I don’t need him to help me study. I’m fine on my own.”
“Sure you are,” Cory agreed, nodding. “But that’s not the biggest problem. The biggest problem is that you two have nothing in common. The things you like about him now? The stuff you think you admire most because he’s so different?” Cory leaned in, latching gazes with me. “That’s the stuff that will make you hate him later.”
Could he be right? Would I eventually hate Finn’s laid-back lifestyle? His quest for fun? The way he laughed as he surfed, his eyes lit up and his laugh blending with the sounds of the waves crashing on the shore? “You’re wrong.”
“No, I’m not. I learned it in psychology.” He nodded his head toward the dorms. “Speaking of the devil…”
Finn came up to my side and cleared his throat. He wore a light yellow shirt with a surfboard on it and plaid shorts. His shades were firmly in place, and his short curls were a little messy. Not messy enough, though, due to his haircut. “I was starting to think you forgot about me.”
“No. No, of course not. I’m just a little bit late because I got in trouble.”
“You?” Finn raised a brow. “How could you have gotten in trouble?”
“We’ll talk about it later.” I knew I should get ready for the quiz tomorrow, but I didn’t want to give up time with Finn. I could make time for both. “Come on.”
Finn took my hand and nodded at Cory. “Later, Cody.”
“My name’s Cory,” Cory said, his voice hard. “But you already know that, don’t you?”
“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” Finn said, his tone completely innocent.
Even I believed him…almost.
Cory grabbed my arm as we passed, and Finn stiffened next to me at the touch. “Are you going to study?” Cory asked.
“Yeah. Later.”
Cory flexed his jaw and let go of me. “Fine. See you later.”
“What was that all about?” Finn steered me toward his bike.
“Nothing. We have a quiz coming up. I’ll study later tonight.”
He stopped walking and looked over his shoulder at Cory. “Are you sure? Your grades come first. Maybe you should go with Golden Boy.”
Golden Boy. Why did that name ring a bell? I shook my head, shaking away the niggling sensation that I’d heard those words before. “No, I’ll be fine. You promised me cheeseburgers and milkshakes, and I intend to collect.”
He wrapped his arms around me and tugged me close. “First, you need to pay up.”
He lowered his mouth to mine, giving me a passionate kiss that quite literally knocked the breath out of me. I curled my hands into his shirt, trying to urge him closer, and he moaned before breaking off the kiss. Before I could so much as blink, he slid the helmet over my head and reached for his.
“I’ve got a surprise for you.”
I bit down on my lower lip. “Oh? What is it?”
He sat down on the bike and looked straight ahead before slamming on his own helmet. “You’ll just have to wait and see.”
I pulled the bike up to the curb and closed my eyes, relishing the way her arms felt around me. Loving the fact that I could show how much I liked it when she clung to me, now that we were together. Now that she knew how I felt about her. I tore my helmet off, and then picked her up, setting her on my lap.
She shrieked at the sudden movement and flung her arms around my neck. Her sweet ass pressed down on me, making my cock hard, but I wasn’t looking for that right now.
I just needed to hold her because I fucking could. “Hey, babe.”
I gently removed her helmet and set it aside. The way she looked at me…
I loved it.
I could get used to seeing that same light shining in her eyes for the rest of my goddamned life. And that’s what I wanted. Not a short period of her life. I wanted forever. Even though I knew, subjectively, that we were doomed from the start. I’d started this relationship with lies, and it would end the second the full truth came out.
And even if I hadn’t lied to her, she was too young to even contemplate forever. A baby, practically. When I’d been nineteen, the furthest thing from my mind had been love or settling down with someone. To her, this was nothing more than the obligatory college fling.
“Why are you looking at me like that?” she asked breathlessly.
I snapped myself out of whatever unicorn land I’d been stuck in. “Like what?”
“Like I bit you or something.”
I snorted. “You can bite me anytime you want, babe.”
She slapped my arm, but I barely even felt it. She was like a mosquito bite on my arm. “Keep it up, and I just might. And I bite really hard.”
“I hope that’s a promise.”
She rolled her eyes. “So is this the surprise? I already knew you had an apartment.”
I chuckled and nuzzled her neck. “That’s not the surprise.”
“Then what is?”
She arched her neck to allow me better access. Nice. I nibbled some more. “You’ll have to go in and find out.”
She hopped off my lap and practically ran up to the door. Note to self: she likes surprises. I followed her more slowly, grinning at her exuberance. When she turned to me impatiently, her hand out, I set the key in her hand. She burst inside the door—and then stopped.
She scanned the room, looking for any signs of something different. Turning to me, she cocked a brow. “Uh, where’s the surprise?”
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