There Goes My Bailey

by LL Dahlin

  “You taste pretty good, Scotty.”

  Now it was his turn to get himself back together and it was hard to even fuss at him about the use of the name he hated so much. Bailey stood up and got himself back together and Scott did the same. Then they both stood against the stall walls staring at each other.

  “We are going to have to eat quick if you’re hungry. I’m sure our breaks are over,” Bailey said, pushing off the wall and pulling Scott to him. “I’m sure your wannabe boyfriend will wrap it up to go.”

  “Jealous much?” Scott wanted to lighten the mood and knew that Bailey wouldn’t ever cop to something so emotional as jealousy.

  “Not typically, but lately…yes.”

  Scott was shocked when he turned his gaze to Bailey. “You aren’t the Bailey I remember.”

  “Good. I hope I’m better than he was.”

  Chapter 17

  It had been two weeks of fun, laughs and fucking. Well, no actual penetration, but for whatever reason it seemed like Scott was either saving that for something special or he wasn’t that into it. It didn’t matter since the two of them worked together, slept together and stayed together most of the time. There was no more of Scott running from him or looking like he was going to drown in guilt every time they’d had a sexual encounter so all was right in his world.

  “Gimmie the regular.” One of the customers that was here every day Bailey was here said.

  “Sure thing. You want me to open up a tab?” Bailey knew the man did, but he asked him every time. Who knew maybe the answer would be different.

  “That’s a great idea.” The man said that every time too, like it was a novel idea.

  Bailey was settling in and he didn’t remember being this content at any other point in his life.

  “Give me what he’s having.”

  Bailey turned to the familiar voice and found Ollie sitting on the stool in front of him. The smile that spread over his face was contagious and he moved around the bar to give him a big hug.

  “What are you doing here?” Bailey made a drink with scotch and soda before passing the glass over to him.

  “Well, when I talk to Scott it seems like the two of you are here most nights so if I want to see either of you, I guess this is the place to be.” Ollie picked up his drink and took a swig.

  Bailey shrugged. They’d been picking up a good number of hours, but they were home more than they were here. He wasn’t sure why Scott was giving Ollie the impression they worked so much. “So you wanted to see us or did you have something special to say?”

  “I do, but it looks like a few people are in need of a refill. I don’t mind waiting. It’ll be like the time you worked at the soda shop, I hung around there so much I should have gotten paid.” Ollie looked around the bar like he was taking in the place and Bailey was getting the feeling something wasn’t right. He tried to put his finger on it before he got back in front of Ollie, but he couldn’t figure it out.

  “Do you want another?” Bailey asked Ollie.

  “Sure. Keep them coming.”

  Bailey turned to get another drink and Scott came around the corner looking like he was going to pull Bailey into a corner or a back room.

  “Let me steal you away for a bit,” Scott said in a low sexy voice. Although they’d been having fun finding new places to get frisky, he thought the man may want to know his brother was there.

  “Say hello to your brother, and then you can take me where ever you want.” Bailey went to lean down to give Scott a quick kiss and the man moved out of his arms so quickly it was hard to remember he’s been almost in his arms.

  “Hey Ollie, what’s up?” Scott’s voice was tense as was his demeanor. Bailey moved up close to his back to get in Scott’s space and to hear what Ollie was going to say. He made the drink and set it in front of Ollie before settling into Scott, who seemed to bristle a little.

  “Not much. I was just telling Bailey since you guys are here practically every night I’m going to come and visit with you here. Looks like a lively place.” Ollie smiled and took another look around the room.

  “It doesn’t bother you that you’ll be sitting in a gay bar while you do it?” Bailey had to ask because it would bother him if he didn’t get that question answered.

  “Not at all. You’re straight and comfortable here so I can be too.”

  “Well, I—” Bailey wanted to get this out in the open so bad, but there hadn’t been a time and he didn’t think Bailey wanted a lot of his business out in the open. He seemed to be a very private person when it came to his brother.

  “Yeah, Bailey holds his own in here. They won’t bother you unless you want it. Right, Bailey?” Scott looked up at him and he could see the pleading in his eyes and it fucking crushed his heart. So in the club they were okay, in the house they were okay, but now that he thought about it there was no time they were in public. Maybe Scott was embarrassed by him. He backed away from Scott, but nodded the answer to the question and went to make more drinks while the brothers talked.

  Bailey didn’t even want to go back there but figured it would be weird if he didn’t and for all the “experience” he’d gotten from Scott he didn’t want to out their relationship…or whatever it was to his brother. He got back to the couple and Ollie had a sly smile on his face.

  “Remember, you talked to me about forgiving Honey?”

  Bailey shrugged and tried to put on an interested face, but he wanted nothing more than to figure out what the hell was going on when they were around Ollie.

  “Well, we’ve made friends. I’ll admit that I wasn’t planning to go as far as I did, but I heard her side and we’ve both missed each other so I stopped being a stubborn asshole.” Ollie held his cup up like they were going to toast although he was the only one with a drink.

  “I’m glad, man,” Bailey said quietly. “No one needs to live their life for someone else you should do what you want to do. The chips have to fall where they may.” Bailey avoided Scott’s gaze even though the man was doing any and everything to get his attention.

  “Oh, look,” Scott waved someone over who was near the offices. Bailey just wanted to go home. It was too bad that it was only one o’clock and he had a few more hours to work. “It’s Mark. He owns this dump. Mark, this is my brother Ollie,” Scott said happily and sounded like he was happy Mark had saved him from certain fate… like Bailey.

  Ollie turned toward Mark and froze. He didn’t say a thing and his face turned a pink flush. Did he know this guy? Ollie cleared his throat and took a few gulps of the strong drink like it was water. “Ummm, good to meet you.”

  “Ollie, huh? That fit’s you,” Mark said with a knowing smirk he directed to the man on the stool next to him.

  “Oooookay,” Scott said slowly and tried to again look at Bailey. “Mark, could you keep Ollie company for a few minutes, I need to talk to Bailey about something really quickly.”

  “You sure he’s safe with me?” Mark was smiling, but there was something so off about how both he and Ollie were acting. Ollie had definitely met Mark before, but where and what had happened? It wasn’t the time or place to get into it since Bailey’s whole happy situation seemed to be cracking under pressure.

  “We don’t need to talk now,” Bailey said. “I’ll stay here with Ollie.”

  “I’m a big boy,” Ollie joked, although the words and the tone were good there was a look of something in his eyes. It wasn’t quite panic, but it felt just as erratic. “I think I can sit at a bar for a few minutes by myself. What could happen?”

  Bailey smiled at Ollie remembering how many times they’d said that. It basically was their code for ‘Let it happen, it’s okay’.

  “Then we will return shortly.” Bailey had another reason he’d not wanted to go. He was pissed at Scott and didn’t want to have the argument at a place he’d have to monitor his tone. Following behind Scott blindly Bailey knew what had to be done and damn it he didn’t think it would have come down like this.

&
nbsp; The room Scott had chosen was Mark’s office. Bailey looked around the room at the awards and the newspaper write ups on the walls. Doing anything to calm himself down, but it wasn’t working. “You brought me back here for something so say what you need to say.”

  “I’m sorry,” Scott’s voice was soft. Bailey turned to see where he was and the man was standing right behind him, but looked a bit nervous about what to do next.

  “Yeah, I’m sure, but here’s the thing—we’ve been doing something for the last few weeks. I’m thinking I’m learning my new partner and you were still offering an experience. Weren’t you?”

  Scott looked puzzled and damn if that didn’t piss Bailey off more.

  “You don’t mind us making out around here or at the house, but I’ve noticed how hard you try not to let things get too hot and heavy. We fuck around, but we don’t fuck. I thought you were waiting for me to be ready, but the truth is that wasn’t ever going to happen. The look on your face when you thought your brother knew about us told the whole story. I was ready to tell your brother about us, hell, I was ready to tell the world.”

  Scott opened his mouth and stepped forward with his hand up like he was going to touch him, but Bailey waved him off and moved further away.

  “I’m done with this, Scott. You’ve had a long time to figure out if the crush you had on me so long ago could be moved to something more. I’ve had the same amount of time. There wasn’t a day that I didn’t think about you and what I thought I threw away.” Bailey didn’t want to look at Scott but he let his gaze pass over him quickly. He looked beat, tired and worn. It was like Scott was the personation of all the things Bailey felt inside.

  “There are reasons I don’t want to tell Ollie,” Scott’s words trailed off and Bailey turned to him willing and wanting to hear something that would make sense of this.

  “Okay. What are they?”

  Scott cleared his throat. “He doesn’t want me to be with you. When you left, he was mad at everyone for taking his best friend, the one he had all the plans with, the one he loved like a brother and he was in a very dark place.”

  “I’m sorry that things happened the way they did.”

  “No. I’m not finished.” Scott moved closer, but Bailey and he stood his ground, but made sure the man knew he was in no mood to be touched. “I promised that I wouldn’t be with you. Every time I’m with you I feel like I’m betraying him, but you’re hard to resist.”

  “When your brother is there I’m quite resistible.” Bailey couldn’t believe that it was just this that was keeping them apart. “I’ll tell him that I started it. It’s true and it takes you off the hook.”

  “Ollie didn’t talk to me for five months after I drove you away. I don’t think he’s talked to Honey at all since then. If he has then it’s only harsh words and anger he gives her. I don’t have any other family beside him and my mother and I don’t want to go down that road again.”

  “So to appease your brother you’ll slink around in the shadows with me, but nothing more?” Bailey was thinking of this closeted existence and it sounded so stifling. He took a deep breath and then let it out. “I respect what you’re saying about your brother.”

  The deep breath from across the room sounded like he’d held it for a while, Bailey looked at him and wondered how he’d be able to make it without him after learning so much about himself and his desires with him.

  “But I won’t live like that. I appreciate all the experience, but now I guess I’m on my own to actually live life.” Bailey walked toward the door. “I’ll make sure to keep your secret from your brother, because we sure as fuck wouldn’t want him to know we could have been really happy together.”

  Chapter 18

  Scott felt like all the air left the room when Bailey walked out. He was standing in the middle of the room wondering what he was going to do. Bailey was pissed and he’d not seen that anger directed at him ever. It wasn’t the hot anger that led to heated debates and resolution it was the cold slap of anger that came with being done. He didn’t blame him. Who wanted to be someone’s secret? No one.

  Walking back out onto the bar floor everything seemed tainted. The jovial mood of the place was grating on his nerves. He was used to looking at Bailey across the crowded room and sharing a knowing smile or a heated glance, that shit made his whole day. One glimpse at Bailey and he knew that shit was over. He stood by Mark and Ollie listening to them, but he could see the tenseness of his shoulders.

  “There he is…” Ollie said when he noticed Scott edging around the perimeter of their group. “I was just thinking we should all get together.”

  “All meaning who, exactly?” Scott kept his eyes on Bailey, who was looking everywhere but at him.

  “I was thinking me, you, Bailey, Honey and…and Mark if he wants to come. We haven’t done anything in a long time.” Ollie had been drinking quite a bit from the flush on his face and the drunk happy volume of his voice.

  “When did you start talking to Honey?” Scott asked as he sat on the bench.

  “Just recently. Bailey convinced me that I’ve been an ass and I’ve drawn this out way too long.” Ollie looked at all of them, but when his eyes landed on Mark they were decidedly… warm?

  Was it him or was Ollie making goo-goo eyes at Mark? He must be more delirious than he thought.

  “Also the room I had for you has cleared out. My makeshift family went back to her ex-boyfriend and it’s ready for you if you want it,” Ollie said to Bailey.

  “I thought you and she had a thing and I thought her boyfriend was abusive.” Bailey was cleaning glasses as he spoke and Scott wanted to get his attention and beg him not to take the space, if only the man would look at him.

  “Sort of and he was…probably still is but that is what she wanted. You can’t choose who you love, I guess. I wish her nothing but the best.” Ollie took a deep breath, drank down the rest of his drink and set it back on the counter. “So, you in or are you too comfortable with my little bro to leave? Not an issue if you are. I know how you like to plant yourself and stay.”

  “No,” Bailey glanced over at Scott then. “I think that would work well.”

  “Wait!” Everyone near them turned and Scott realized how loud that came out. Bailey stopped cleaning the glasses and stood up.

  “What, Scott?”

  “Don’t you want to think this through?” Scott had always wanted to pay his brother back. The times he’d saved him in school and made him feel safe and included at home meant so much to him, and he didn’t want to let him down. His brother had asked for one thing and he’d pretty much fucked it up. Now he was fucking it up with Bailey too.

  “What’s to think through? Your brother would love to have me stay with him and don’t we all want what will make Ollie happy?”

  Scott looked over to what his brother would think of that and noticed he was paying more attention to Mark than to their conversation. “Come on, Bailey.”

  With only the lift of one eyebrow Bailey told him how ridiculous the man thought he was. “I’m trying to do what’s best for everyone.” Bailey acknowledged someone at the end of the bar who needed a drink and left to take care of it. Scott followed him down to the other side.

  “Staying with me would be best for everyone,” Scott said when he got to the spot Bailey was pouring a drink.

  “I’m keeping secrets for you, living out Ollie’s post-high school dreams of living together and eating my own fucking heart out. I don’t know what you want from me. I’m not the guy you built up in your mind. I’m just a dude who fell for his best friend’s little brother and apparently I’m the one who has to suck it up.”

  “I’m going to tell him one day soon. If he thinks his thing with Honey is long overdue, maybe he’ll forget about the promise he made me commit to.” Scott was hopeful Bailey would like that idea but one look at his stormy face said it wasn’t enough.

  “The fact that you don’t want to tell him says a lot to me. I don’t want to
get in between you and your brother but I also don’t want to be with a guy who won’t fight for us. Your brother isn’t going to be our toughest challenge, I wouldn’t think, but if we’re going nowhere if there’s no trust and there’s no confidence in each other.” Bailey walked away to deliver his drink to the customer and stopped on his way back. “I think we should just stop for now. I’m tired, you’re frazzled and this was something you thought was going to be short term and I’m making a mountain of a mole hill.”

  “That’s not true. I’ve loved you all my life. I’ve wanted nothing more than what we shared these last few weeks. You don’t get to degrade my feelings for you because I don’t want to go against my word.” Scott stood up and walked down to the end of the bar where his brother was and watched Bailey slowly make his way down to where the odd couple of Mark and Ollie sat.

  “Ollie I have to say something.”

  “Okay,” Ollie said, turning toward Scott.

  “I’ve had a thing for Bailey for most of my life.”

  Ollie put up his hand in the universal sign of stop. “I know this, Scott.”

  “I know you know this, but that didn’t stop you from making me promise not to ever get involved with him. I love you and when you thought I’d driven your best friend away you couldn’t have made me feel any worse than I did. I made a promise that I didn’t think through.”

  Ollie looked at Bailey. “I was an asshole when you left, man. I was so angry at you for leaving that I took it out on everyone. In all the years you’d been gone, I thought I’d gotten over it, but I didn’t really realize what I’d done to myself or others with all this anger until I really sat down and talked to Honey.”