So, my decision was made. I leaned over the precipice and let myself fall into the abyss. “Please, Jax… let me go.”
He said nothing, but I hadn’t left him anything more to say. I turned and rushed out of the private dining room, out of the restaurant, and out of his life.
JAX
What the fuck just happened?
I wanted to go after her. I wanted to shake her until she saw reason. I wanted her to be wrong.
She wasn’t wrong. She was completely right about me. At least, she was right about everything I had shown her up to that point.
When I watched her walk out the door, something changed in me. I realized I had reached a point of no return. Perla had gone from being this beautiful woman with a delicious, fuckable body and the face of an angel, to being a complex, real, and vulnerable person. Now she was more than an object to use for my own selfish pleasures, and she was slipping through my fingers.
From the moment we met, she had incited this need inside me to protect her. Tonight, those instincts had grown a step further, and suddenly I felt the need to shield her from her fears and protect her heart from breaking.
How could I do that? How could I protect her from myself? I was far from noble, and I knew what a loathsome bastard I was when it came to women.
And what do I deserve, someone like you? Her words rang through my ears. She didn’t deserve me. She deserved a hell of a lot better than me, but so help me, I wasn’t good enough of a man to just let her go.
I didn’t know what to say or do when she walked out on me tonight. It killed me to watch her leave while I just stood there like a fool.
Keep that in mind when you get the urge to run screaming in the other direction. I didn’t fail to see the irony in her words.
I would give her time, I thought. I let her walk out the door, but I wasn’t about to just let her go.
Not a chance.
ELEVEN
New Responsibilities
JAX
“Any messages, Norma?” I asked, coming out of my office for the first time since I had arrived that day. It was two in the afternoon, and I had worked straight through the lunch hour.
“Yes, sir. Your father called. He said you needed to call him back as soon as possible,” Norma replied as she handed me the memo with Walter’s message.
“No one else?” I questioned, looking at her expectantly.
“No other messages, sir,” she answered, looking up at me through her wire-rimmed glasses from behind her desk.
“Thanks,” I mumbled, before stepping back into the solitary confines of my office.
I crumpled the note with my father’s number and tossed it into the trash bin next to my desk. I had the old man’s number. I just didn’t ever use it.
I removed the phone from my inner coat pocket and pressed the button that brought it to life. I navigated to the text messaging app to check it for the hundredth time that day, clicking on the thread labeled Perla.
Monday 9:08 p.m.
Jax: Are you okay?
…
Tuesday 3:05 p.m.
Jax: Feel better today?
…
Tuesday 7:09 p.m.
Jax: Perla, can we talk?
…
Wednesday 9:00 p.m.
Jax: Talk to me, beautiful.
…
Thursday 11:11 a.m.
Jax: Still thinking of you. Call me.
…
Several days had passed since the night we had gone to dinner. I was trying to give her some time, trying not to push the issue, but not hearing anything back from her was driving me out of my mind.
I dialed my father to see what he wanted, because if he was calling, he definitely wanted something. He never called just for the pleasure of my company, or visited for that matter. I got his voicemail and I hung up without leaving a message.
I looked down at my watch. I had twenty minutes before a video conference with a business associate out of Napa. We would be negotiating a contract to bring his company on as a supplier for a new restaurant business venture.
The problem was, I needed a clear head for the meeting, but thoughts of Perla kept intruding, commandeering all of my focus.
I had to figure out how to win her over, and all my usual tactics had failed miserably. Of course they had, I thought. She was different from all the other women I had relations with.
But did I really think I wanted something deep and meaningful with someone? Hell, who was I kidding? I was completely out of my element. All I knew for sure was that I couldn’t rule it out at this point. I was a goddamned wreck for the past four days. That alone spoke volumes.
That, and the fact that I had been deflecting advances from Miranda all week.
I needed a strategy, and I had an idea of where to begin. I dialed my phone once again, and this time I got an answer.
“Jax, buddy, what’s up?” Ezra said as he picked up.
“Are you still seeing Jada?” I asked, getting straight to the point.
“We’ve been talking. I’m planning to take her out this weekend. Why?” he questioned.
“Don’t fuck it up,” I warned him. “You and I need to start planning that trip to New Zealand.”
PERLA
It had been a long week, but the day was finally crawling to a close, bringing me into another drab weekend. It was Friday afternoon, and I had been questioning my sanity all week after my abrupt departure from the restaurant Monday night.
Maybe it had been the right thing to do, but I couldn’t help feeling awful for the way I had gone about doing it.
Getting through the work week at Maddox Tower had my nerves on edge, worrying that I might run into Jax. I panicked every time I waited for the elevator or walked across the first floor atrium. When I hadn’t run into him, I wasn’t sure if I was relieved or disappointed.
Seeing his texts that had come in over the past few days had given me an undeserving thrill. I shouldn’t have wanted him to keep trying, but each time he had was like a bittersweet pill. Still, I wouldn’t allow myself to respond, though I’d be lying if I said I hadn’t typed out a thousand responses that I didn’t ever send.
“Perla, can I see you in my office, please?” Vandergild requested as he walked past my desk.
“Sure,” I answered, standing to follow him and wondering what this was about. Once inside his office, I closed the door and took a seat in the chair facing him sitting at his desk.
“How are you feeling, Perla? Do you think you’re ready for a little more responsibility around here?” Vandergild had a knowing smile on his face, and he held a file with a name I didn’t recognize.
At the mention of being offered more responsibility, my heart leapt in excitement. “Yes! I would be honored,” I blurted. “What do you have in mind?”
I scooted to the edge of my seat, eager to see and hear what he would have me doing.
“We’ve been hired to handle a high profile case.” He passed the file across the desk and I opened it to look it over.
He continued. “You’ve probably seen this case in the media lately. Social services became involved with the grandchildren of our clients when one of the children was found dead in the basement of a house on the same street the parents lived on. The child had been missing for several days when they found her, and the residents of the home had been named as babysitters of the child.”
I gasped in astonishment. My heart fell at the mention of the child’s death and I was repulsed and horrified by the thought. I quickly regained control of my reactions in an effort to appear neutral.
Vandergild went on. “My clients are suing for custody of the remaining three children. The Beasleys had been estranged from their daughter, the mother of the children in question, for some time.”
“I see,” I said as I began to wonder what my role would be in this case. I had a feeling it was going to be an interesting case to work on, no matter what.
“There will also be a criminal
trial in the coming weeks on the children’s mother. The part I am going to need your help on is getting the court transcripts from that trial and reviewing those for relevant evidence.” Vandergild watched me closely, and I tried not to give away any emotions, but I was almost feeling a little disappointed.
Was that it? That didn’t seem like more responsibility than what I had already been doing, but I didn’t want to say so. I sat quietly, my spirits sinking by the second, waiting for him to finish.
“I also want you to help me present the evidence in court,” he added with a knowing smile.
“Sir, thank you! I can’t believe it. This is great!”
I was so excited at his last words that I could hardly contain myself in my chair. I thought I was going to burst up into the air and squeal like a teenage girl who had just been asked out by the boy she liked. Luckily, I was able to minimize it to just bouncing my legs up and down as I gripped the files in my hand like a lifeline.
This was just the opportunity I had been waiting for. It was finally putting me on the path to having the experience I would need when I finally got the opportunity to go back to Law School.
It also meant that Vandergild was seeing me as a competent and long-term fixture in the firm now if he trusted me with this responsibility.
As soon as I left Vandergild’s office, I rushed over to tell Amelie my thrilling news. She cheered, congratulating me, and shared in my excitement.
Thank goodness I had something to focus my time and attention on. It was just the distraction I needed to take my mind off of Jax.
TWO WEEKS LATER
Perla: Running late at work. Will you grab my luggage and meet me at the airport?
Jada: Are you kidding me? Alright, you better not miss our flight. I’m so not kidding.
Perla: Don’t forget my carry-on bag. It’s all right there together. Sorry Jada Lou.
Jada: Ezra said he will pick me up. We’ll see you there.
I still had some things to wrap up at work before leaving for the day in preparation for being out. I felt guilty for taking time off when I had only just started here a little over a month ago.
Vandergild said he didn’t mind, but things were just starting to get interesting with the Beasley case, and timing just wasn’t ideal for me to be out for three days.
Still, I was pretty excited about the trip to New Zealand, and we already had one of the four tickets going to waste. I couldn’t let a second one go unused, too, and I let that ease my conscience. I decided I would let myself enjoy the getaway, even if I was going to be a third wheel the whole trip. I could ski, see the sights, and do the tourist thing to see what Queenstown, New Zealand, had to offer.
I was happy for my sister and Ezra. They had been seeing each other for the past few weeks now, and it was starting to get pretty serious between them. Jada was always one who tended to jump in feet first, but I couldn’t deny they seemed great for each other.
Ezra had certainly spent a lot of time at our apartment over the past weeks, which, for me, was a bit of a sting, since he was another huge reminder of Jax.
I hadn’t heard from Jax in almost a couple of weeks now, and I guessed he had finally moved on. It hadn’t taken him long, either, not that I expected it would have. Still, even though it had been my choice to drive him away, I felt an irrational sadness that things couldn’t have gone differently. I was trying not to dwell on it, which was no easy task with Jada and Ezra making out like high school kids on my living room couch every night. They just seemed so happy. Would I ever find that for myself?
I got things squared away on all the cases I was working on for Vandergild and called a cab to come pick me up before I took the elevator down to leave. I knew I’d be cutting it close, so taking the bus was not a good idea.
Once I got to the airport, all I had to do was go through the security check, since Jada had already checked my luggage and we had checked in for our flights online the night before. My passport had already been stuffed in my purse, alongside the romance novels I planned to read on the twenty-two hour plane ride.
It seemed like the checkpoint line was barely moving through the Dallas airport, and I was growing impatient, feeling rushed but still at the mercy of the two hundred or so people in line ahead of me. I breathed a sigh of relief when I made it through the x-ray machines with a few minutes to spare.
I got to the gate as the last few people were boarding. Once I boarded the plane, I found Jada and Ezra in the first class seats we were riding in for the first leg of our trip, Dallas to Los Angeles.
I noticed as I sat in my own seat that someone’s belongings were sitting in the seat next to mine, which would have been reserved for the fourth person in our group that should have been vacant.
“Perly-girl, you made it! I have to admit, I had my doubts,” Jada admitted as she stood and hugged me before sitting back in her seat.
I greeted Ezra, and he handed me my carry-on bag.
“Thanks, Ezra. You’re the best,” I told him.
I took my seat and settled in for the long flight. We had a short layover in L.A. and another one in Sydney, Australia, but it was definitely going to be a long ride. I leaned my seat back, took my book out, and laid it over my face to rest my eyes for a little bit before we took off.
I heard the flight attendants close the door in the distance and begin to go through their pre-flight safety speech. It was nearly time for take-off.
I felt someone rustle by me and sit in the seat next to mine. I paid them no mind, though the proximity somehow raised the goose flesh on my arms. I figured the airline had given the seat away since it was being unused. I crossed my arms over me, thinking I must have gotten a chill. My eyes remained closed.
“Don’t you hate it when you’re stuck next to some irritating person on a long plane ride?” a deep, familiar voice said next to me.
I tensed, and my heart caught in my throat. My eyes shot open wide, staring at the pages of my book still covering my face. I reached to grab it and sat up.
“Jax? What are you doing here?” I asked in surprise.
“It’s nice to see you, too, Ms. Fae,” he purred in a seductive, masculine tone.
My jaw dropped as I searched his face, nearly not believing what I was seeing. I looked over at Jada and Ezra who were staring at me as if waiting to see my reaction.
I looked back to Jax. “Are you serious right now? What are you doing here?” I kept my voice quiet, trying not to draw too much attention.
“Just hear me out,” he said as the plane taxied to the runway.
TWELVE
The Getaway
“I’m listening,” I told him. It wasn’t like I could go anywhere. I was a little stuck at the moment, which I was sure they had planned. I would have bet they were all in on this, judging by the looks on their faces.
Jax turned in his seat to face me and took both of my hands in his, sending the neurotransmitters firing throughout my body. It had been so long since I had felt his touch. I knew I shouldn’t have enjoyed it this much.
“Perla, this is all new to me, feeling… well, feelings. I can’t promise I won’t break your heart, but I can tell you that I don’t want to walk away without seeing where this could go.” He paused for a moment, reaching a hand up to brush the side of my face. “All I’m asking for is a chance to see.”
It was hard to think, looking into his beautiful face and the unending depths of his eyes. His strong, muscular arms and defined chest, both of which were testing the boundaries of his designer, cotton shirt, didn’t help matters either.
I still wasn’t sure about this, and I was starting to feel increasingly resentful toward Jada and her damned impulsive optimism for setting me up like this. There was nowhere to run, which was exactly what I felt the urge to do at that moment. Business Class was spacious, but not that spacious.
Still, I couldn’t help but feel somewhat flattered about Jax going to so much trouble to be here with me. It obviously took some plannin
g to get away from work, not to mention coordinating all of this with my sister, even if it had been behind my back.
Mostly, though, I was worried how this would all work out in the long run if I were to let myself give in and accept his advances. What would happen once we got back to the real world, with our real lives and outside demands?
I still didn’t trust him. I wasn’t delusional enough to think that he didn’t still have a line of other women knocking on his door whom he entertained from time to time. I wasn’t willing to be one among many.
Yes, it was certainly a precarious situation I had been thrown into. I really only had two choices. Choice one: I could see how things went and let myself enjoy him while it lasted, knowing I’d be setting myself up for future heartache. Choice two: I could keep pushing him away and make things awkward for everyone concerned on what was supposed to have been a fun, happy, and relaxing vacation.
As I sat there staring at his furrowed brow and stunningly attractive features staring back at me, I could see his expectant and hopeful expression awaiting my response. I was painfully aware of his hands still holding mine, making me want so much to give in and let this happen. I couldn’t think straight.
“You know, I really feel put on the spot here. Could you just give me some time to let this all sink in and think about it?” I requested.
I could see him visibly relax, as though he had tensed himself expecting a negative response. “Take your time, Angel. I’ve got all day,” he said with a laugh.
JAX
I had the next twenty two hours to figure out how to put Perla at ease. This little kitten couldn’t run away when she was trapped in a cage. I knew I was taking a huge risk, dropping in on her like this, but like any good businessman knew, high risk means high reward.
Tragedy and Desire: An Adult Romance Page 12