Then & Now

by Karen A. Leppert

  “It’s not just him, though I think you’re wrong about him.”

  “Why would you say that?”

  “Seth’s been following me. I know that sounds crazy, but I saw him several times in places he shouldn’t have been.”

  “Why would Seth follow you?”

  “Perhaps he wants to cause trouble with Molly and me, or he wants to make me miserable so I’ll move back home.”

  “I’ve known Seth for a long time. He’s not that guy.”

  “Well, I don’t know what kind of guy he is, but I don’t trust him. I hurt him, and I think he wants to hurt me.”

  “Where has he followed you?”

  “The Laundromat, the park, and the grocery store. The grocery store, Jeff. Why would Seth be in a grocery store, in my neighborhood, in the baked goods aisle? I’m not crazy.”

  “That is strange. Why didn’t you say anything?”

  “Who could I tell?”

  “Me.”

  “Seth’s your friend, and client. I didn’t want to put you in an awkward position. Anyway, it doesn’t matter anymore, and I don’t want you telling anyone that I think he’s followed me. It would only cause more problems, and that’s the last thing I need. I just want to get out of Dodge. I’ll go to school back home.”

  “I thought you liked it here.”

  “I will miss certain things. You and Kathy, of course. Pat and DJ, although I rarely see them anymore. Johnny and Abby. Molly…well maybe not Molly. I’ll feel safer back home. I don’t have any enemies there.” She laughed weakly. “People actually like me, believe it or not.”

  “We’re going to miss you.”

  “I can always visit. That seemed to work out better.”

  “When will you tell everyone?”

  “The sooner the better, I suppose.” She took a deep breath. She had made peace with her decision, but that didn’t make it less painful.

  “I won’t mention this to anyone. I don’t want to be the bearer of bad news.”

  “Oh, I think Molly will be doing the happy dance.”

  “I think you’d be surprised. Molly isn’t so bad; she’s just misunderstood.”

  “Well, I’m through trying to understand her. A long-distance relationship is best for us.”

  “If there’s anything you need…”

  “I know.” She kissed him on the cheek. “You’re like a brother to me. I love you.”

  Jeff swallowed hard. “I love you too, Sarah. I’m going to miss you.”

  “Yeah, well, I’ll be back, hopefully soon…to meet my niece or nephew.”

  “I don’t know about that. We haven’t had much luck in the baby-making department. In fact, we’ve made an appointment with a fertility specialist.”

  “Kathy told me. If there’s anything you need…”

  “We need you to stay.” Jeff held up his hand in surrender. “Just promise me you’ll take your time making a decision.”

  “I promise. Now, I’m off to go shopping with Johnny. I’m buying him a new shirt to replace the one I bled all over.”

  Jeff smirked. “Shopping with Johnny. That should be interesting.”

  Actually, Sarah had fibbed to Jeff. She had already replaced Johnny’s T-shirt with one that bore a Superman decal. He was, after all, her hero. Now, she had to replace Seth’s shirt, and Johnny had agreed to help Sarah pick a new one.

  “Why are you doing this, Sarah?” Johnny asked.

  “I don’t want to owe him a thing!”

  “It’s going to be expensive, and Seth will be furious.”

  “Good,” she said with a wicked smile.

  “Here. This is something like it.” Johnny held up a simple coal black shirt that cost $200. Sarah couldn’t hide her surprise. “I told you.”

  “It’s okay. Really. What size does he take?”

  “I think a large, but get a gift receipt in case I’m wrong.”

  After finding a shirt in the right size, Sarah took it to the counter. The sales clerk winced at the sight of her. Sarah winced back and handed over her credit card.

  “Let’s get out of here before I break something.” She laughed and rushed for the door. “Do you want to grab a bite to eat? My treat if you’ll settle for fast food.”

  She handed Johnny the bag when she dropped him off. “Would you give this to Seth?”

  Johnny snickered. “Aren’t you going to wrap it, and what about a card?”

  “Just give it to him, okay?” she ordered, but she laughed too.

  She left Johnny and ran a few errands before returning to Kathy’s, eager to get Newton and go home. Jeff greeted her at the door, sweaty from playing basketball.

  “Did you win?” she asked.

  “Two out of three. I’m going to take a shower. Will you be here for a while?”

  “No, just picking up Newton.”

  Sarah turned to Kathy and gave her a hug. “I better get going. Newton, here boy.” No response. “Where’s that dog?”

  Sarah went to the back lawn, yelling his name over and over. Still no Newton. Kathy checked the house, opening the doors, thinking he’d gotten stuck in a room. No Newton.

  Jeff ran downstairs, a towel wrapped around his waist. “What’s going on?”

  “We can’t find Newton. He must have gotten out of the house or yard somehow,” Kathy said.

  Sarah doubled over, a jabbing pain piercing her stomach.

  Jeff ran back upstairs yelling, “I’ll get dressed and help look for him. Kathy, get my car keys from the kitchen and pull the car out of the garage.”

  “I’ll canvass the neighborhood. He couldn’t have gone too far.” Sarah bolted for the door and ran down the street yelling like a maniac, darting from one side to another, frantically stumbling around. When she reached the end of the block, she collapsed, curled her body into a tight ball, and cried.

  A wet tongue licked her cheek. Newton stood over her, whimpering. She swallowed him up in her arms.

  “Where have you been? You scared the daylights out of me. Let’s go home.”

  Gripping Newton’s collar, Sarah headed back to Kathy’s house. But Newton refused to budge and looked past her. Sarah followed his gaze; Seth stood a half a block away. His car idled in the middle of the road, both the driver and passenger doors ajar. He must have found Newton and brought him back.

  Sarah brushed the tears from her face and looked at him.

  Seth raised both hands in the air and then dropped them quickly. He turned and walked to his car, closed the passenger door, and then went to the driver’s side.

  “Thank you,” she yelled.

  He leaned into his car, removed the keys from the ignition, and turned toward her again. His eyes pleaded, and her heart melted.

  SETH

  Seth had dropped Jeff off and noticed a scruffy dog sitting on the corner. He looked familiar, and then Seth remembered the picture of Sarah and her dog. What was his name?

  After pulling over to the curb, he opened the passenger door and called, “Here, boy.”

  The dog wouldn’t come. What was his name? It started with an N. Newman? No, Newton!

  “Here, boy. Come on, Newton.”

  Newton sprang to his feet and hopped in the passenger seat. He looked around and then turned to Seth.

  Seth smiled at him. “Let’s take you back to Jeff and Kathy’s. I’m sure she’s worried sick about you. That is, if she even knows you’re gone.”

  She did. Sarah ran down the street, clearly panicked. Suddenly, she dropped to the ground and lay there motionless. His heart went out to her, but he didn’t dare approach her.

  “Sarah,” he yelled, but she didn’t respond.

  He flew out of the car, ran over to the passenger door for Newton, and then ran toward Sarah. Newton barked and sprinted ahead of him. Seth stopped.

  Leave. You’ll just upset her more.

  After wrestling with Newton for a moment, Sarah stood. She seemed to be all right.

  You can go now. She’s safe. At least
this time I’m the good guy.

  He walked to his car with every intention of leaving until he spied the gift bag containing the shirt Sarah had bought him to replace the one ruined the night she fell. Johnny had given it to him at their basketball game. Without thinking, he yanked his keys from the ignition and turned to face Sarah again.

  His anxieties skyrocketed. How do you look at someone you once loved and not melt at the sight of her, not show your desire for her?

  “Sarah, all I ask is five minutes.”

  “You’re asking too much,” she said but her feet remained planted.

  “I’m not going to give up. Five minutes. I promise.”

  “Your promises mean nothing to me.”

  The hatred in her voice stabbed at him, but his resolve won out.

  “I hate that it’s come to this. I’m truly sorry, and I’m worried about you.”

  Sarah shook her head wildly.

  Seth ignored her and continued, the urgency of the situation pressing upon him. “Yes, Sarah. I’m worried you’ll get hurt, running from me all the time. I’m stressed too at the possibility of running into you.”

  “I don’t care if you’re stressed.”

  “I can understand that. I’m just trying to make a point. This isn’t working.”

  “Tell me about it.”

  “Sarah, I want this to work.”

  “And you get whatever you want, don’t you?”

  “You of all people know better than that. I promise I won’t follow you anymore.”

  Her head jerked. “So you admit you followed me?”

  “Yes, I followed you.” His cheeks burned with embarrassment. “I was curious. I know nothing about you…since you left.”

  “I know everything about you. Your life’s an open book.”

  “Well, your life isn’t an open book. It’s closed tight and has a lock on it, and I no longer have the key.”

  “How ironic. I avoid seeing you,” she admitted.

  “Yeah, and I’m following you. I wanted to see what you look like now. It’s been so long.” Keep it up. Don’t stop now. “Sarah, we need to find a balance, to take control of this situation.”

  “We?”

  “Yes, I think you and I should decide what relationship, if any, we’ll have with each other.”

  “That won’t be a problem anymore. I’m moving back home in time for the fall semester. I’d leave now if I hadn’t already signed up for a summer course.”

  An urgency possessed him at this news. “Please hear me out. I’ll have my assistant, Jill, email you my schedule and update you with changes when necessary. You can give her your phone number. I don’t even have to know it…I won’t bother you…I promise. If we happen to cross paths…Sarah, we’ll probably run into each other…I want you to feel comfortable going over to Molly’s and Kathy’s. If I happen to be there…well, we’ll be cordial to one another.”

  “Molly wouldn’t like that.”

  Seth couldn’t tell if Sarah considered that good or bad. “It’s none of Molly’s business. Do you want me to tell her?”

  “No!”

  Don’t lose her now. She’s buying this. “Okay, okay. I won’t say anything. Why don’t we try this until your summer class is over? Can you give me the summer?”

  A long pause followed while Sarah contemplated his offer.

  Seth repeated the proposal. “I won’t follow you. You’ll have my schedule. We’ll be civil if and when we see each other. Come on, Sarah.”

  Sarah shrugged her shoulders and then sighed. “Okay. I’ll see how it goes through the summer.”

  “Great! Who knows, we could end up friends.”

  Sarah laughed wryly. “Wouldn’t Molly hate that? That might be all the reason I need, to spite her.”

  “Yeah, why not?” He laughed nervously. “See, isn’t this better already?”

  “Yes.” She hedged a bit and then looked him square in the eye.

  Seth looked unabashedly upon Sarah’s face. Her hair hadn’t changed, the beautiful auburn shone in the sunlight. Her eyes were as blue as he remembered, piercing through him like the sudden rush a drug gives you. Those lips…his eyes lingered there the longest…just as his lips had lingered there so many times as he whispered to her, kissed her. They were full, tempting him.

  Sarah looked self-conscious in the face of his curiosity. She twisted her lips, and a surge of passion and lust rippled through his body.

  Although he wanted to touch her, just reach out and touch her, Seth knew he couldn’t. Sarah did not belong to him anymore. Instead, he smiled at her and, to his delight, she smiled back.

  She shrugged. “This is much better than running.”

  “It’s a start. That’s all I ask. One step at a time. Do you want a ride back to Kathy’s?”

  “No, I could use the walk.”

  To walk away from Sarah, not knowing if he would see her again, proved agonizing. Fate would have to take over, but he didn’t want to trust fate. Sarah had come back into his life. Maybe not the way he’d envisioned, but it would have to do, for now.

  CRAVINGS

  SETH

  To Seth’s dismay, his plan worked extremely well. He hadn’t seen Sarah since the day he’d left her at Kathy’s house. So far, he had kept his promise and hadn’t tried to “run into” her by chance, though he almost relapsed on his birthday. He’d never gotten to celebrate his birthday with Sarah when they’d dated, so the temptation to see her on his birthday now was almost too much to bear. But he did because the risk of losing her again was too great.

  A consolation of sorts came from a surprise visit from Mom, who gave him a precious birthday present.

  “It’s your father’s wedding ring. We’ll put it on your right hand for the time being.” She smiled through tears and squeezed his hand.

  Seth brushed her tears away. “Mom, I don’t embody the commitment this ring symbolizes.”

  “Then it’ll remind you of what you should strive for. It wasn’t easy for your father in the beginning, but he proved to be a deserving man to wear it. You will too someday. I’ve seen that you can love someone completely.”

  “What about Derrick and Keith? It doesn’t seem fair…”

  “I wanted you to have it. You and your father were most alike.”

  “I’ll wear it with honor and try to make both of you proud when I wear it on my left hand one day.”

  With Mom’s departure and a lack of work, Seth had time to think, and the hunger to see Sarah grew to epic proportions. He had so many questions to ask her, so many things he wanted to tell her, but the opportunity escaped him.

  Until today when Johnny called. “Hey, where are you?”

  “Driving. I just met with my trainer. Why?”

  “Well, you can’t come over. Sarah’s here.”

  “Oh, okay. Thanks for the warning.” I’ll be right over.

  “Sorry, Seth.”

  “No problem. Thanks for calling. I’ll talk to you soon.” Sooner than you think.

  While it would’ve been nice to go home and take a shower, Seth didn’t want to risk Sarah leaving and hoped the sweaty, rugged look appealed to her.

  To his delight, Sarah’s car sat in the driveway, along with Molly’s and Pat’s.

  Perfect.

  Seth let himself in and followed loud music and voices coming from the backyard. Molly stood on the patio with Pat, their backs to him. Seth snuck up behind them and peered over their shoulders.

  He smiled and then melted. Keep your composure.

  DJ giggled out of control while Sarah and Johnny danced around him. The little boy tried to keep up with them, spinning himself into a dizzying frenzy and falling down, only to get up and start over again.

  Sarah danced with her hands in the air and her hips swinging. Certainly not as provocatively as Seth remembered, yet the memories came flooding back, nevertheless, and with them that all-too-frequent ache that brought tears, which he brushed away as he regained his composure. This was,
after all, an attempt to prove he and Sarah were comfortable with one another.

  And now, he had to prove just that. Molly’s and Pat’s attention remained on the dancing threesome, so Seth stood beside them. Eventually, they had to notice him. Right? Wrong. They didn’t, but Sarah did. She came to a dead stop, and Seth could tell her instincts told her to run. He shook his head slightly and pleaded with his eyes for her to stay put.

  “Look who’s here.” Sarah pointed in his direction.

  Seth smiled brightly and headed down the steps. “Hey, little man.”

  Johnny looked at him with a mixture of surprise and anger. He could only imagine what Molly and Pat looked like. DJ ran to him, dragging Sarah along.

  “I thought Johnny called you,” Sarah said through clenched teeth.

  “He did. I thought this would be a great opportunity to show them how well we’re getting along.”

  Johnny approached. “We did talk this morning, right?”

  “We did, and I said I’d talk to you soon.”

  “I didn’t think it’d be in person.” Johnny looked toward the patio.

  “So, what’s the verdict?” Seth asked, his curiosity killing him. He looked at Sarah. “Can you see them?”

  Sarah winced. “I can’t look. Johnny?”

  “Molly’s pissed, that’s for sure. Damn, Seth, now I feel like running. Sarah, what do you say we make a break for it on three?”

  Sarah nodded enthusiastically. Johnny grabbed her by the arm and dashed toward the house with DJ following close behind.

  Seth laughed and walked toward the enemy. “Hey, girls. I’m going to get a beer. Can I get you something?” He didn’t give them time to stop him, but he felt them on his heels.

  Johnny, Sarah, and DJ were nowhere in sight. Damn. Seth worried Sarah had left. He wanted to talk to her, both to make an impression on Molly and Pat and to satisfy his burning desire to be near her.

  “Where do you think you’re going?” Molly asked when he headed for the game room.

  “Downstairs.”

  “You know Sarah’s down there.”

  “I do. I thought I’d challenge Johnny to a game of pool, if you don’t mind.”

  “Not at all.” Molly went to the steps. “Sarah, get up here, now!”

  “Why?” Sarah yelled back.