Then & Now

by Karen A. Leppert

  “That doesn’t mean they can’t be improved.” She wanted to discuss how with him. Silence followed. “Are you there?”

  “Yes.” He hedged. “What do you have in mind?”

  “We have to stop running into one another. You and I are a lethal combination. Well, maybe not you, just me.”

  “That’s not true.”

  “Yes, it is. I’m a sane person when you’re not around. I’m not subject to temper tantrums and tirades. I don’t hurt myself. I rarely cry. I’m quite nice.”

  “You’re not that bad.”

  “You’re being too kind.”

  “I thought last night went well. I enjoyed the pizza and conversation. You and Abby were great.”

  “I was exhausted and had a glass of wine.”

  “Then we’ll just keep you buzzed all the time. Hey, I like to drink a little myself.”

  Why is Seth doing this? What does he want from me?

  “I’ll admit last night went well, but our record stands for itself. I wouldn’t put any money on us.”

  “I would,” he whispered. “Look, I don’t want to stress over running into you.”

  “If we bump into each other…well, I’m okay with that, but let’s try not to.”

  “If you think it’s best…”

  “I do.” A twinge of regret poked at her.

  “You’ve certainly lived up to your end of the bargain.”

  “I want to thank you, Seth. You’ve made my life here much easier.”

  “Good. Mission accomplished.”

  “Well, I guess this is goodbye. Tell Jill I’ll be talking to her soon.”

  “I will. Take care of yourself.”

  “You too.”

  “Goodbye.”

  The phone clicked with such finality Sarah’s heart skipped a beat. Seth had given her what she wanted, what she thought was best for them. She was letting go of him again, but his willingness to let her go tore at her heart.

  SETH

  Mom peered over the brim of her coffee cup. She had invited herself to lunch, which meant she wanted to talk to him.

  “So, were you ever going to tell me Sarah moved here?”

  Seth shrugged. “There’s nothing to discuss. Sarah’s living in LA. End of story.”

  “I understand you’ve seen her?”

  “Yes.”

  “And how was that?”

  “Different.”

  “I see I’m going to have to pull this out of you, unless you really don’t want to talk about it.”

  He felt torn. “It’s probably best we don’t.”

  “Yes, but we don’t always do what’s best for us, do we? Pat told me you followed Sarah. Is this true?”

  “Yes.” He lowered his head in shame.

  “Why?”

  “I was curious to see what she looked like.”

  “I understand. It’s been a long time. So, how did she look?”

  “Ugly!” He laughed.

  Mom smiled. “Good. You’ve spoken to Sarah, right?”

  “Yes.”

  “And…”

  Seth sighed. “We came to an agreement, that’s all. We know it’s best if we not see each other, for our families’ sake.”

  “They want you to be happy. Sarah doesn’t make you happy. I can see that right now.”

  “Well, they don’t have to worry, because Sarah doesn’t want to have anything to do with me either.”

  “Good. You two seem to agree on that.”

  “Yes,” he murmured.

  “Then why are you so miserable?”

  “I have no idea. I know it’s over between Sarah and me. I accepted that a long time ago. I just can’t seem to let go.”

  “I know why.”

  “Then tell me. I’d love to put this behind me.”

  “You never had closure. Sarah left without saying goodbye, without a reason.”

  “She had a reason. She was pregnant with someone else’s baby.”

  “Maybe. If so, you never talked about it.”

  “And I don’t want to talk about it, ever! I don’t want to know who the father is. My imagination has driven me crazy enough. It doesn’t matter anyway.”

  “Doesn’t it? Don’t you want an ending to this story?”

  “No.”

  “Why is that?”

  “Because then it would really be over.” He reeled at the revelation.

  “And you’re not ready for that, even after all these years?”

  “I guess not. Wow! That’s scary.”

  “What do you want from Sarah?”

  “I don’t know.”

  “Do you love her?”

  “I don’t know.”

  “What do you plan to do about this?”

  “I don’t know.” He laughed nervously. “Do you have any advice?”

  Mom thought for a while. “For some reason, you feel the need to be with Sarah. In what capacity, who knows? For what reason, who knows? Why don’t you pursue a friendship with Sarah? If it’s meant to be something else, it will happen. If not, you have another friend, and I suppose a very good one.”

  “You always liked Sarah, didn’t you?”

  Mom smiled. “Yes.”

  “Even though she broke my heart.”

  “I always thought there was more to the story. Sarah just wasn’t that kind of girl…”

  “I didn’t think so either.”

  “People make mistakes, Seth.”

  “You don’t have to tell me.”

  “Do you think you could forgive Sarah?”

  “I already have.”

  “Then I don’t see the problem.”

  “What if I pursue a relationship with Sarah? Suppose I love Sarah and she doesn’t love me?”

  “How could Sarah not love you?”

  “Mom, you’re biased.”

  “I am.”

  “What if Sarah loves me, and I don’t love her? What if this is about the past? What if I only want to be with Sarah to fulfill my fantasies?”

  “So this is about sex?”

  His cheeks burned. “I honestly don’t know.”

  “You know you can’t go back. You have to look at Sarah as she is today.”

  “I know, but sometimes things get cloudy for me. It’s hard not to look at Sarah and remember what she was like.”

  “Is she different today?”

  “I don’t know. The few times I’ve talked to her…well, they haven’t been the friendliest. It’s awkward between us. People have made her wary of me.”

  “You have to give it time.”

  “That’s the problem. Sarah doesn’t want to be around me at all.”

  “Then you have your answer.”

  “I think it’s the wrong answer. I feel compelled to see her, to talk to her. I don’t know why.”

  “How do you expect to get to know Sarah better if she doesn’t want the same?”

  “I have no idea.”

  Mom winked at him. “You’ll just have to find a way.”

  PARTY

  SETH

  Seth had purposely come to the party alone to avoid Sarah hearing a firsthand account of his evening from Johnny or any of the others. His deception wasn’t meant to be. Not only did he see someone, but it was the person he wanted to deceive. One glance from the shadows revealed Sarah moving through the crowd.

  What’s she doing here?

  Seth should have known by Sarah’s clothes: white button-down shirt, black slacks, a black apron, those god-awful skid-proof shoes, and a black tie. A black tie? The classic uniform for a waitress.

  This presented a problem. Sarah would undoubtedly want to leave if she saw him, but he couldn’t let that happen, knowing how much she needed the money. So, he hunkered down for a night in the shadows, like an animal watching his prey, waiting for the right time to make his move.

  Seeing Sarah working so hard made him want to help her. The tray looked heavy and people just took from her, never even looking at her, never saying thank y
ou. This pissed him off. How rude. Sadly, he was just as guilty.

  He reveled in looking at her without having to hide his obvious intrigue. She moved gracefully through the crowd though, at one point, she almost fell into the pool, or rather someone almost pushed her. She maintained her footing and held on to the tray, smiling at her prowess even though it went unnoticed.

  The evening passed in a boring blur. Nancy checked on him occasionally and seemed pleased. Strangers surrounded him, there to smoke weed, not his company. What Nancy didn’t know, wouldn’t hurt her. She was happy; he was happy. End of story.

  The staff began cleaning up around three o’clock in the morning. The party hadn’t ended, but the caterer’s services were no longer needed. Only the bar stayed open. Seth waited until Sarah went into the kitchen before making his move.

  When he turned out of the driveway, a crowd headed down the street, Sarah among them, talking and laughing. Soon, however, she was alone; the others had arrived at their cars. She continued on, placing earphones in her ears and fumbling with her iPod.

  Seth pulled up beside her. “Hey, where are you going?”

  “Buzz off, creep!” She quickened her pace.

  He just couldn’t let her walk to her car alone—and he couldn’t pass up an opportunity to spend time with her—so he drove down the block, parked the car, and headed back in her direction.

  “Sarah,” he yelled and jogged toward her.

  In one swift motion, Sarah turned and pointed something sharp at him.

  “Stay away from me…you…you…pervert.”

  Seth came to a screeching halt and held his arms up.

  Sarah recognized him and slowly lowered her hand. She rolled her eyes and removed her earphones. “What are you doing here?”

  He smiled sheepishly and looked back in the direction of the party.

  “You mean to tell me you were at that party?”

  “All night long.” Seth met her in the middle of the street. “Good save, by the way.”

  She looked puzzled.

  “The pool. I thought you were going to take a dip.”

  She chuckled. “It was close.”

  “Where are you headed?”

  “To my car. I’m not much farther down the road. I’ll be fine.”

  “You don’t actually think I’m going to leave you here?”

  “I do this all the time.” She held up the pocketknife she had wielded at him moments ago. “Anyway, I imagine this neighborhood’s safe. Most of the criminals were at the party.” She pretended to snort coke up her nose.

  “Not me. I’m innocent.”

  “If you say so.”

  “I do.” He pointed to his car. “Let me give you a ride the rest of the way.”

  “That’s not necessary.”

  “Sarah, I’m going to ride beside you if you don’t let me drive you to the car.”

  “Is that a threat, or am I supposed to be flattered?”

  “Both.”

  “How much have you had to drink? I might be safer walking.”

  “Not much. I promise.”

  Her eyes narrowed in an accusing manner. “Can you walk a straight line?”

  “Yes.”

  “Show me.”

  Seth scowled, yet did as she requested.

  She smiled. “Touch your nose with your index finger…you know how the police do it when they pull you over.”

  “Damn, you’re tough.”

  She laughed. “Believe it or not, I have high standards.”

  They stood in the middle of the street, still a good two feet from each other. Seth offered his hand. Sarah, of course, backed up, but smiled.

  “What do you say? Let me drive you to your car.”

  “Okay.” She turned toward the other side of the street.

  Seth ran ahead to open the passenger door. Behave yourself. This is your chance.

  “Always the gentleman,” she chimed when she met him.

  He started to speak, but his attention was diverted to a familiar sound, the clicking of a camera. They were being photographed.

  “Sarah, get in the car and wait for me.”

  “Why? What’s wrong?”

  “Nothing. Just promise me you won’t leave the car.” He took off his jacket and handed it to her. “Keep your head down.”

  “O-okay.”

  He slammed the door shut and looked around. Something shiny in the bushes across the street caught his attention. A camera.

  “Hey, you!”

  The photographer high-tailed it up the street. He was fast, but Seth was faster and caught the man by his shirt.

  “Give me the fucking camera.”

  “No way. This is assault. I’ll file charges,” the man warned.

  “Just give me the camera, and no one will get hurt.”

  “I’m already hurt,” the man squealed.

  “Give me the fucking camera.”

  “I’m just trying to make a living.”

  After a fitful struggle, Seth pried the camera out of the man’s hands and pulled out the film. “Here.” He handed the man the camera and walked away. He had just reached the car when the man laughed.

  “That was my second roll. I’ve got plenty more right here.” He patted his pocket. “Fuck you!” he yelled and got in the car and sped away.

  Seth got in his car, started the engine, and drove away.

  Sarah looked around, panicked. “Wait! My car.”

  “We’ll have to come back tomorrow for it.”

  “No. I need my car.”

  “Sarah, please…” he begged and dialed his cell. “Nancy, I might be in trouble. I assaulted a photographer.”

  Nancy laughed. “Well, I suppose bad publicity is better than no publicity.”

  “This isn’t funny.”

  “Why on earth would you assault a photographer?”

  “I’m with someone.”

  “Again, why on earth would you assault a photographer?”

  “I’ll explain everything later.”

  Nancy mumbled something under her breath. “Meet me at your house. Don’t talk to anyone, not even the police.”

  “I’ll see you at the house.” He hung up the phone. “I’m sorry, Sarah. I promise I’ll take care of this.”

  “It’s not your fault. Where are we going?”

  “My house.”

  “Can’t you drop me off at my house?”

  “We might be followed. I promise to take you home as soon as possible.”

  Matt and Serafina met them at the door, and Seth explained what had happened.

  Nancy followed right on their heels. “Time for damage control. Which one is the girl?” Her eyes darted from Sarah to Serafina.

  Sarah raised her hand slightly.

  “I should have known. We’re going to need your blouse.”

  SARAH

  A soft knock on the door made her jump. “Sarah, it’s me, Seth.”

  She opened the door slightly; Seth’s arm poked through with a shirt in hand.

  “This will have to do…for now.”

  “Thanks.” Sarah took the shirt and memories of the time she fell and broke the eggs all over her chest flooded back. With a heavy heart, Sarah put the shirt on and rushed back to hear Nancy’s plan.

  Nancy held court. “Serafina, do you have a pair of black pants?”

  “Yes.”

  “Go put them on with this shirt and Sarah’s hair band and apron.” Nancy didn’t wait for a reply, but dialed her cell and left the room. She came back moments later, cool and calm. “Everything’s under control.”

  Serafina came back into the room and Nancy addressed her. “Can’t you button your blouse any more than that?”

  “No, my boobs are too big,” Serafina stated proudly.

  Sarah’s shoulders hunched. Here we go again.

  The plan quickly became apparent. Serafina would pose as Sarah. What a stretch, a big stretch.

  Nancy pointed to Seth. “Take off your shirt. We might as
well make this look real.”

  Seth sighed, but did as directed.

  Nancy nodded her approval. “Okay, Seth, you’re going to walk Serafina to the car and open the car door for her. Always the gentleman. And then you’ll engage in deep conversation. Do you have this so far?”

  “Yes,” they both answered.

  “Good. Then you’ll kiss her, and I don’t mean a peck on the cheek. I want one of those big, fat, luscious kisses. Pretend you love this girl. That you’ve just fucked her brains out…you don’t want her to leave…but she must.”

  Seth grumbled. “Nancy, this isn’t a scene from a movie.”

  “No, but it’s just as important. Do you want the tabloids to believe that this girl…this five-foot-nine buxom girl is the same girl from the street?” Nancy pointed to Sarah and Serafina, their differences glaringly obvious.

  “Yes,” Sarah answered.

  Seth sighed again and then nodded.

  “Then kiss her, damn it.” Nancy turned her attention to Serafina. “You will get in the car and Seth will kiss you again. You’ll both laugh and smile adoringly at one another before you drive off. Keep your window down so the photographer can see you.”

  “What photographer?” Serafina asked, excited.

  “Oh, honey, you don’t think we’re going through this trouble for nothing. The whole point is to be seen. I’ve called in a favor. Actually, my guy’s more than happy to get this story. He’ll owe me, in fact.”

  Sarah shook her head. Too many games.

  “Any questions?”

  Sarah spoke up. “Can I please be excused? I need to make a few phone calls.”

  Seth led her to the front living room. “Sarah…I’m…”

  “Seth, don’t say a word. I’m okay, really,” she lied.

  Sarah felt sick to her stomach and exhausted. Dawn loomed on the horizon, and she longed for this nightmarish ordeal to be over with the sunrise. Then she could go home, crawl into bed, and try to forget everything. For now, she had to call Sam so he wouldn’t worry about why she hadn’t come for Newton. She needed to call Abby too. They were supposed to have brunch this morning. She left them both text messages and then took a moment to collect her thoughts and regain her composure.

  The sound of the front door opening brought her back to the crisis. The plan had apparently been set in motion. Sarah peeked out the window and watched the scene as it unfolded. Nancy joined her.

  Seth walked Serafina to the car, his arm around her shoulder and his eyes gazing down on her lovingly. Serafina smiled at him. They reached the car, and Seth opened the door as they had rehearsed. They exchanged a kiss.