Between Darkness & Light

by Theresa Van Spankeren

  I shook my head. “He called me by my given name. He said it in English. There’s no way he could have known it.”

  “Julia, I do not know what to tell you. Maybe he was just guessing.”

  “Could Matthew have told him?”

  She violently shook her head. “No. Matthew wouldn’t trust Hunters. He will not talk with them for any reason.”

  I nodded. “How do Hunters track us? Are they psychic and sense us? Or is it something else?”

  Mary Anne looked up again and stared at me. “Samuel never told you? Of course not. They were not the threat at the time,” she muttered. “Most Hunters are like any other mortal. They do not sense us telepathically. They are taught to recognize our habits.”

  “Our habits?” I echoed.

  “A large number of unusual killings attract their attention most of the time. When they arrive in an area, they watch the people – look for vampires feeding, using abnormal strength or speed. For women who look out of place alone at night.”

  I winced slightly as I heard the sudden disdain in her voice. “How did the meeting go last night?” I asked, changing the subject.

  Mary Anne frowned at me. She dropped her gaze back to the paper she held. “Not well,” she admitted. “Matthew did show up. I think that was the upside to the whole thing.”

  I leaned against the wall. “What happened?”

  She clutched the paper tighter. “I really should not get into that now.”

  I sighed. “You mean you shouldn’t tell me.”

  She nodded and looked away.

  “Mary Anne, please. Something must have upset you at the meeting and I highly doubt it’s anything discussed about Hunters. You can tell me. It’s not like I’m going to take the information to the first non-Resistance vampire I see.”

  She chewed her lower lip for a moment, debating. Finally, she said, “No, it’s not about the Hunters. It’s about Samuel.”

  “What about him?” I asked sharply.

  “The others aren’t sure he’s – well enough – to lead. They’re afraid he will not be able to handle an emergency in the state he’s been in. They want someone else to take over . . . at least for now.”

  I was very still. “And what do you think?”

  “I hate to say it, but I agree. Samuel is in no condition to handle any problem right now and this particular band of Hunters, whoever they are, is becoming trouble.” Mary Anne looked back at me. “Of course if someone else is to take over, they must be chosen. At one time you were the logical choice, Julia, but now . . .” She shook her head ruefully. “Now most of them do not trust you.”

  “I’m well aware of the hostility. You can take over for now. You’ve practically done that anyway, Mary Anne. There are no hard feelings from me about it. I’ve accepted that I have a long way to go before I’m forgiven in the Resistance. It takes a long time to rebuild trust, believe me, I know.”

  She looked back at me. “Only how do I tell Samuel? I don’t know what he’ll think.”

  “He might think it’s a great idea. After all, he’s been telling you to run the meetings anyway.”

  “Yes, but he’s always had the authority to overrule me if he didn’t agree with my decisions. Now though, that authority would go to me, if the others agree, or to someone else. And honestly, I do not know how he’ll handle it.”

  “Do what you have to, Mary Anne. You need to protect everyone else too.”

  “Yes, you’re right. Jesu, I cannot believe we’ve gotten to this

  point . . . I kept hoping he would pull out of this. I better go talk to him.”

  “Good luck, Mary Anne.”

  “Thanks. I’ll probably need it,” she said as she got up and headed for the library.

  I also left the room and walked into my own. I decided not to hang around downstairs to find out how her conversation with Samuel went. I’m sure I’ll find out soon enough.

  Instead, I sat on the bed, took out my piece of wood, and slashed my arm a few times. This time, I did it mostly out of frustration at my inability to make someone understand, to change the downward spiral the ka-tet was on. Fear that the nightmares would return. I stared at the blood that trickled down my left arm before stashing the wood under my bed. My terror that I would see my daughter die in my dreams again was so great that I restlessly paced my room instead of getting ready for bed. I was determined not to fall asleep, even when dawn came.

  I had been walking for the better part of an hour when the young woman appeared to me again, this time on my bed. I stopped and looked at her uncertainly. I did not scream. It would do me no good. Dozens of questions raced through my head. Is my sanity slipping again? Why am I seeing the same lady? Should I tell Mary Anne about this? Kali? Would Mary Anne banish me if she knew? Shouldn’t I be more afraid?

  The apparition was wearing the same white gown as before. She patted the bed and half- smiled at me. She glanced in the direction that the sun would come up in a short while. Before I could ask her my questions, she vanished again.

  I stared at the spot she had sat in, mystified. A moment later I realized she wanted me to go to bed before sunrise. Why would she want me to sleep? Should I listen to the unspoken message? Maybe she wanted me to dream?

  I sighed as I remembered that the last time this young lady had appeared, I did not dream. My sleep had been peaceful despite my fears that night. If the pattern continued, I would get some rest. Eventually, I got ready for bed.

  Chapter 3

  The next night I dressed in a black sottana with sleeves that were slit slightly so the light blue of the underdress showed. The tighter-fitting sleeves hid the scars from the cutting. Although I hadn’t had any nightmares, I still felt tired. I suppose that it was to be expected considering I was bloodletting myself and not feeding as often as I should.

  As I finished lacing up the gown, I was hit with an unexpected wave of anxiety – that was about Samuel. I had a strong sense that something was wrong, but I couldn’t explain the feeling. It almost reminded me of the dreams I used to have about the future, except I was awake.

  With a frown, I hurried downstairs. “Jeffrey, where’s Samuel?” I called when I saw him standing at the bottom of the stairs.

  He turned around, startled. “I would think he’s in the library. Where else would he be? Matthew did not come over so they cannot be out drinking. Besides, the door is closed.”

  “Thanks,” I muttered and brushed past him.

  “Julia, are you feeling all right? Your skin looks ashen,” he asked from behind me.

  At his question, I hesitated with my hand on the doorknob. “Fine,” I whispered and walked into the room. Only to find no one in there. Stopping, I looked around uncertainly.

  “Samuel?” I asked, even though I knew from the ka-tet that he wasn’t here. I walked further into the room and looked at the table next to the chair he usually sat in. It just had an empty whiskey bottle on top of it. That offered no clues to where he might be. I turned to leave the room when a flash of a metallic object on the fireplace mantel caught my eye.

  I walked over and drew in a sharp breath as I saw a gold chain etched with the name Alessandra. It was the necklace that Samuel usually wore, the one that had been originally intended for his sister. He never took it off as far as I knew. I carefully picked it up and fastened it around my own neck for the time being.

  I spun and left the library. “Mary Anne?”

  “I’m in the kitchen.”

  I hurried to the door. Mary Anne dumped several vegetables into a pot and stirred it. “He’s gone, Mary Anne. Do you know where Matthew is living? He may be the only one who knows where Samuel went.”

  She glanced up, looking taken aback. “Samuel’s gone? I thought he was in the library.”

  I nodded, although I wondered why the other two did not notice his absence in the ka-tet. “That’s what he wanted you to think. He’s not here. Where’s Matthew living?” I repeated. “Maybe Samuel talked to him or stopped by.”<
br />
  “I – I do not know. We never found out where he was staying. He always came here to see Samuel.”

  “I’ll find him. Here’s hoping Samuel has just gone over to his place, but I doubt it. It didn’t seem as if Matthew let on to where he’s staying so I doubt he’s there.”

  Mary Anne frowned at me. “Julia, do you think he is in trouble? That he might have run into the Hunters?”

  “I’m worried . . . but I do not think the threat is from the Hunters. I think it’s from Samuel himself. I think he’s going to hurt himself; I don’t think anyone else will.”

  “How do you know?”

  “Just a feeling,” I sighed and left the house. Once outside, I used the ka-tet’s power to try to locate both Matthew and Samuel. It took me a moment to hone in on their presences, especially since they were both shielded from me. Samuel was nowhere around. I could barely sense him and I couldn’t figure out where he was, except that he was pretty far. Matthew, however, was only several streets away.

  I rushed to where I had tracked him and found myself outside of a large villa guarded by several human men who watched me suspiciously. I curled my lip in amusement. He must be visiting someone because I doubt he would be living so close to where I am, and if it was truly his house, it was even more ironic that none of us had figured it out. Curiosity gnawed at me. Would Matthew still have that aloofness when he sees me or will I finally get a different reaction from him?

  I shook my head and knocked on the door. While waiting for someone to answer, I admired the part of the estate I could see. It was at least twice the size of our own place and beautifully landscaped with vines and plants. I brought my attention back to the door when it was opened by a plainly dressed older woman. She was also human and gaped at me.

  With a flash of embarrassment, I realized why the woman was staring at me oddly. I was dressed in almost all black, my hair was unpinned, and I had no escort. I had completely forgotten the fact that Matthew could have been in the company of mortals. I did my best to look non-threatening, but desperate, frightened, as if I had no choice but to come here as I did.

  “Is Mister Matteo here?” I inquired, pronouncing his name in Italian.

  The woman nodded. “Master Medici, someone’s here for one of your guests,” she called, looking back into the house.

  The reply was said so fast that I couldn’t understand what was said. The woman turned back to me. “May I have your name and the reason for your visit?”

  I exhaled impatiently. “Giuliana and it’s an emergency. Something terrible has happened at home. I need to speak to Matteo.”

  “Hold on a moment,” she replied and closed the door.

  I paced the porch several times waiting for the door to open again, aware of several guards’ eyes on me. I was hoping Matthew was curious enough about why I was here to come to the door to talk. Otherwise, I was going to have to force my way in and wouldn’t that produce even more of a stir than I had already caused?

  I was about to knock again when the door re-opened. Matthew stood in the doorway, looking angry and confused. “This better be good, Julia. How did you find me? What the hell are you doing here?” he asked in almost inaudible English.

  Well, I guess he can feel other emotions toward me after all. I almost miss the indifference, I thought to myself and took a shaky breath. Did he seriously just ask how I found him . . . oh. I guess from his point of view it looks a little strange. “Through the ka-tet,” I answered.

  He frowned. “How? You haven’t found me in five years. Why now?”

  I hesitated, almost thought about lying. Instead I sighed. If what Kali had told me was true, I was not going to gain his trust doing that. “Honestly, Matthew, until now I have never tried to find you.”

  His eyes widened before his expression changed, became more guarded. “Why are you here?”

  “I need your help.”

  Someone walked past him in the doorway. “Perché dovrci aiutario?” he asked coldly.

  The transition back into Italian was so quick that I had to take a moment to translate the question. ‘Why should I help you?’

  I replied in Italian, “Poiché penso Samuel é nella difficolta. Sapete dovè lui è Matthew?”

  After the person walked away again, Matthew shook his head. “How do you know he’s in trouble? And why are you asking me where he is?”

  I darted a quick glance around. “Because I found this,” I said, gently pulling out the necklace. “You do know what this is, don’t you? I was hoping you knew where he was.”

  “I know what it is.” His expression transformed into one of hostility. “What did you do, Julia? He never takes it off and leaves it.”

  I stared at him in confusion as his brown eyes suddenly glinted amber, like a flicker of a lantern or candle was reflected in them. There wasn’t one close enough to produce the effect. I backed up a step apprehensively as I realized what he was asking. He believed I had harmed Samuel.

  “I did not do anything. I found the necklace in the library. Samuel was already gone by the time I woke up. You can ask any of the others. Mary Anne, Jeffrey, Kali . . .”

  Matthew glared at me. Upon hearing Kali’s name, however, his expression softened, if only slightly. It made me wonder if he had talked to her recently. “Why isn’t Mary Anne here?”

  I answered without hesitation. “Neither she nor Jeffrey realized Samuel was gone until I asked. Besides, I think she has other duties to attend to right now.”

  Matthew scowled at me. “You shouldn’t know about that.”

  I shrugged. He stepped into the villa for a few moments, and then came back outside. “Matthew, I’m worried. Do you know where he is?”

  “No, but I have an idea. I’ll go look for him.” He turned to leave.

  “Don’t go alone!” I cried in alarm.

  “For God’s sake, Julia! You’ve done enough!”

  I reached out and grabbed his arm. “Please do not go by yourself! Let me go with you. It won’t be safe to go alone with Hunters around!”

  Matthew angrily pulled his arm away. “You are not coming with me. I would be safer on my own anyway.”

  “Do not be stupid! You need to have someone with you! After all, it was you who said Hunters work in groups.”

  He continued down the stairs. “I’ll find another Resistance member to go with me. Someone I can depend on.”

  As I watched him walk away, I desperately pulled out what I knew to be my trump card. “What if you cannot find him? Samuel is cloaked and I was the only one at the house who even realized he was gone. If the rest of the ka-tet was fooled, there is no hope of anyone else sensing him if you cannot either.”

  “And why should I trust you, Julia?” he hissed. “For all I know you’ll just betray me to the Hunters. How do I know you really care about Samuel?”

  “Because if I didn’t, I would not be here asking for your help. I do care about him!”

  Matthew stood still. “Like you ‘cared’ about us a few years ago?” he asked sarcastically. His back was turned to me.

  “Matthew, I’m sorry,” I said helplessly.

  “Sorry?! Is that all you have to say?”

  “I wish it hadn’t happened. I never meant to hurt any of you. Please, give me an opportunity to try to make things right. Give me a chance to explain myself.” I hesitated, then whispered, “Matthew, can we put aside our differences to find Samuel? To make sure he’s all right?”

  For a few minutes the only sound I heard was his light quick breathing. I remained where I was on the stairs and waited. I couldn’t force him to let me accompany him. It had to be his choice.

  Finally, I heard a soft sigh. “I suppose you have a point, Julia. With Hunters around it would be – unwise – to go after Samuel alone.” He turned his head to stare at me as a myriad of emotions crossed his face. Some I expected to see, such as anger, concern, and fear. Others such as resignation and a hint of hope confused me. “I can sense him, but not well. You are th
e only other person who can. I guess you’re coming with me. But I swear, if you so much as think of double-crossing me this time, I will kill you without a second thought. Do you understand?”

  “Yes,” I said, nodding. His words probably should have terrified me. There was no doubt he meant it. Instead, I found them almost comforting. Dealing with Samuel the last few years had been nothing but confusion. There was no misperception, no uncertainty in dealing with Matthew. If I screwed up, he would kill me. Simple.

  He nodded to the guards as we passed and headed down the street. “I should get some supplies from the house,” I said.

  “I would reconsider that idea. Mary Anne has people over who are possibly less happy to see you than I am.”

  I was quiet as I processed his statement. He had spoken telepathically to Mary Anne, most likely to verify my story about Samuel. “There’s someone who hates me more than you?” I asked in surprise.

  I expected another comment but there was none. Instead, he led the way to an area of upper-class Florence that I had never seen. He stopped outside of a house and I realized this has to be where he’s been living the past several years.

  A second later he confirmed my suspicion. “I’m going inside for a minute or two. I thought that if we’re going to go after Samuel, we better be prepared.” He walked into the house. I followed him. Matthew glanced back at me. “Do come in,” he said drily.

  “Thanks for thinking of me,” I replied sweetly.

  Matthew shook his head and walked to a storeroom. He opened the door and yanked out two blankets. He shut the door and walked farther down the hall. He pulled out a few outfits; one shirt and trousers outfit was actually small enough to fit me. The fact that he had anything that could fit me intrigued me but I wisely kept silent about it. Sometimes, it’s better that way.

  We walked to the doorway of another room. It was a weapons room that held everything from swords to quarterstaffs. He took a sword and crossbow, then looked back at me. “Do you have any weapons on you?”