Hawk: A Rough Romance

by Piper Stone

  Goddamn it. I wasn’t equipped to handle an emotional woman. That had never been my forte. I rubbed my forehead, taking several shallow breaths.

  “Wait.” The word was damn difficult to say.

  “Why? So you can berate me a while longer? I’m not interested.”

  I moved closer, as usual finding words difficult. “I’m sorry, Bryce. The last few days have been difficult, more so that I am able to admit to myself. I’m angry. Enraged. And yes, I feel guilty for leaving. At this point, I don’t know what the fuck I’m supposed to do. I have a little girl who will need to depend on me, a ranch that requires someone who gives a damn about it, and a military life that might be in the shit shack. So yes, I have every right to be angry.”

  She shifted out onto the deck, staring up at the night sky.

  I studied her in the darkness; the way the light breeze shifted her long strands back and forth across her back and the way the bright moon highlighted her face. She had the ability to make me feel humble, embarrassed at my rants. No one, including my commanding officer, had been as effective.

  “I can’t imagine what you’ve gone through, the horror of learning about your brother. I certainly have no clue what you’ve experienced serving our country, but you are right that this place and that little girl need you more than the Marines do. I wish I could help you feel better, but you’re not the kind of man who will allow anyone in. Then again, I’m not the kind of girl who usually cares. You confuse and frustrate the hell out of me. I don’t know what to say or not say, or how to express any emotions around you and I don’t like that. You just...” Her words trailed off, her shoulders sagging. “I have no idea what I’m saying.”

  I walked closer, flanking her side and leaning over the railing. “You’re right and everything you said is true, but that doesn’t make it easy. That’s all I can say to you. I don’t allow people in. It’s been a hell of a lot easier to close myself off. Right or wrong, that’s worked for me. What I can tell you is that you’ve given me a few moments of peace, even joy during this bullshit. I will forever appreciate that. You are one infuriating woman, but right now, I’m glad you’re here. Truth is, I could use your help.”

  “For?” she chided, her tone caustic.

  There was something about the twinkling stars tonight that drew my attention. “Facing whatever happened to Drake. Trying to accept what I’m going to face with Ashley. I’ll completely understand if you don’t want to. We certainly aren’t in a relationship.”

  I could feel her bristle, my words almost as caustic as hers.

  “Nope. We’re not, Hawk. I’m just someone you spanked and fucked a couple of times. I’ll be happy to help. Then I’ll be out of your hair. For good.” She jerked away from the railing, the sound of her angst like a dull echo that I knew would never leave.

  Fuck. I was a damn asshole. I grabbed her arm, yanking her toward me, my chest heaving as breathing became difficult.

  “Just let me go, Hawk. This is all one big mistake. I promise that I won’t try to break into your house. I will do everything I can to keep Drake’s name out of the limelight as well.” She shoved her small fist against my chest, although there was no pressure, no real attempt to get away.

  “Lady, I’m not going to let you go. I might be an asshole, but you make me crazy with desire. I’ve never wanted another woman this way. You’re not leaving. Period.” I cupped her face as a roar of fire licked through my veins.

  “You’re not good for me,” she insisted, a single moan floating between us.

  “Yeah? Tell me something I don’t know.” The woman was stubborn, far too much for her own good. If it was the last thing I would do, I’d keep her safe.

  Even if it meant losing her in the end.

  Her gaze in the moonlight was another harsh jab, daggers to my heart. The more she fought me, the more I craved her. I was overrun with the feelings of possession, the unbridled thoughts shifting everything else aside. “Woman, you belong to me. Don’t forget that.”

  “I already told you. You can’t handle me.” Her chiding was followed with a sly smile as well as a single drag of her tongue across my lips. This time, she shoved her hands against me, able to pull out of my grasp.

  “Not so fast, sunshine.” I snagged her arm once again, the force I used smacking her body against my chest. As I crushed her mouth with mine, she slipped her hand around my neck, the sharpness of her nails digging into my skin.

  I thrust my tongue inside, my entire body aching, but soon after, we both stiffened.

  Within a few seconds, the passion slowly dissipated. Perhaps the threat weighed heavily on our minds. I knew all I wanted to do was hunt down and kill the bastard, no matter the consequences.

  I brushed my hand through her hair, trying to regroup, to figure out a plan. “As you said before, I need to find out what’s in the box.”

  “Yeah, you do,” she stated quietly. “I think I’ll hang around, if you don’t mind. I’m not going to use whatever you find in some six o’clock news piece.”

  I gave her a slight smile, thankful that she was able to put up with me. The burden of not knowing was increasing. “You know what happens if you do.”

  She offered a slight smile as she pushed me toward the door. “Go. Get this over with.”

  My feet felt heavy as I walked back inside. There were several tee shirts in the box and after pushing them aside, I noticed a group of pictures that had obviously been taped to Drake’s locker. The photograph on top created a wave of despair, crippling and numbing.

  “What is it?” Bryce asked as she moved closer.

  “A reminder of one of the best days of my life.” I closed my eyes, remembering the gorgeous afternoon, the family dinner one of the few I’d deemed it okay to come to. My brother’s high school graduation. My dad couldn’t have been prouder, especially since I’d almost flunked out twice. My brother? Top of the class. “Drake felt like he could take on the world.”

  “It seems like he did. That’s a wonderful photograph. Is there a story?”

  “We’d just come back from a ride, something he loved to do more than anything. We weren’t fighting as a family that day, something very unusual. Even my dad was in a good mood, taking off work for the day.” I forced myself to take another look, the smiles on our faces depicting a shared moment of happiness. If only I could go back to that moment in time. Shit. I’d been a jackass for a brother.

  “It’s obvious that you loved each other very much.” She placed her hand on my shoulder, the action forcing another round of tension.

  “Love is a funny thing in a family.”

  She huffed, rolling her eyes. “That much I do know. What else is in the box?”

  Hissing, I barely glanced at the other photographs before pushing them aside, although there were two of Jaime, several of Ashley. What remained in the box were things that could be tossed including toiletry items. There were no papers of any kind, no indication that Drake had either been investigating any entities or had found something on any of the fires.

  Including Jaime’s.

  Then I found an envelope nestled under a sweatshirt. While there was no indication of what might be inside, my initials were clearly marked on the corner. However, where it had once been sealed, the flap had been ripped open at some point. What the hell? “Drake meant for me to find this.”

  “Jesus. Someone tampered with it.”

  When I pulled the envelope into my hand, another instinctual flash floated into my mind. Whatever Drake had left had been sealed on purpose. And someone had violated his privacy.

  Bryce peered over my shoulder as I yanked out two pieces of paper. The contents? Test results that allowed him to work with the fire department.

  “That’s it? Examination reports? That doesn’t make any sense,” she offered.

  “Nope. It certainly doesn’t.” Fuming, I had no doubt that there’s been more inside the envelope at some point. Even both pieces of paper had been folded crudely, not the way
my brother would have placed something obviously important to him. He was far too neat and tidy. The paperwork had been placed inside almost as if an afterthought. Why bother?

  My hackles were now on full alert.

  I tossed the items into the box and dropped my head. What in the hell was actually going on?

  “What are you thinking?” she asked as she pulled one of the papers into her hand.

  “That there was more inside that envelope. That Drake had kept some information he didn’t want anyone to see. Maybe on the fire that killed his wife. Maybe on the recent fires. I know my brother far too well. He was meticulous with everything. There’s nothing in this house that indicates what he might have been onto.”

  “Did Drake have a computer?”

  Sighing, I nodded as I thought about his office. “Yeah, but if he has his computer protected with a password, there could be a number of combinations. How the fuck am I supposed to know what it is?”

  She smiled, her eyes flickering. “Show me.”

  I gave her a look before rising to my feet. What the hell. She was already involved, whether I liked it or not. Maybe she could actually help me find some kind of evidence. I headed into his office, flipping on the light.

  “Your brother ran his company from here?” she asked as she moved toward the desk, fingering the laptop.

  “That’s what I’m guessing.”

  “That way he could stay close to his little girl.”

  As she sat down, pulling the laptop closer, I moved toward one of the bookshelves. The man had read every business book it seemed not only in the industry but from others, including how to become wealthy. It would seem that Drake’s drive and resolve had been formidable. I admired the guy more than I could even put into words. He’d built an amazing life for his little girl.

  “It is password protected. Any idea?”

  “As I told you, none.”

  She wrinkled her nose. “Birthdays?”

  I gave her a few combinations, none of which worked.

  “What about Ashley’s birthday?”

  “Yeah, I guess it’s worth a shot. Let me see if it’s in the file.” Everything about this was becoming more unnerving, a puzzle I wasn’t certain I wanted to know the answers to.

  I hesitated before walking into the kitchen, glaring down at the file on the counter. When I lifted Ashley’s picture into my hand, the same stabbing at my heart rushed into my system. I fingered the photograph as I’d done before, now wanting nothing more than to hold her in my arms. Perhaps I needed her as much as she needed me. Seeing her birthdate created another wave of anxiety.

  The beautiful little girl with the golden curls had been born on my mother’s birthday. Hissing, I stormed back into the office, my breathing ragged. “Six-twelve-two-thousand-fifteen.”

  Bryce offered a slight smile before punching in the code, her intense exhale acknowledgment that she’d been right. “We’re in.”

  I watched as she typed furiously, her face pinched. When she sat back a couple of minutes later, shaking her head, I was just as angry as before. “Let me guess. There isn’t anything of use.”

  “There are dozens of pictures on his computer, including several of the ranch, but nothing else and I do mean nothing. The computer was wiped clean. Who the fuck would do that?”

  Narrowing my eyes, I thought about what she was saying before walking around the side of the desk. “What are you talking about?”

  “If your brother ran his entire operation from this computer, then he’s been hacked. There is literally nothing on his computer. No files. No extra drives. I’m no cyber expert, but it had to have been professionally done.”

  “What the fuck?”

  “If I had to venture a guess, I’d say that someone wiped out everything on this computer for a reason. Maybe Drake had found something.” She lifted her head, worry encasing her expression. “Are you certain this was his business computer?”

  “Not completely, but there isn’t another one in the house that I’ve found.”

  “Have you checked Ashley’s room?”

  I looked away. “Not yet.”

  “Don’t you think it’s time that you do?” When I didn’t answer immediately, she continued. “Hawk. Whatever is going on, my guess is that your brother knew you’d figure it out. Don’t you understand how important you were to him or how much he believed in you? If you think the hat that the chief mentioned he wore all the time isn’t an indication, you’re blind and stupid. While Ashley is an innocent girl, she’s now your responsibility.”

  I didn’t need the cold, harsh words to remind me of what I had to do in my life. I also couldn’t stand the fact that she seemed to know me better than I knew myself. Acceptance wasn’t an option. “You’re right. I’m not going to figure out what happened to Drake unless I put all the pieces together. That much I will give to my niece.”

  “Then start by going inside her bedroom,” Bryce said quietly.

  I nodded, backing out and heading toward the stairs, immediately placing my hand on the knob. As I walked into the room, I had an immediate sense of being closer to Drake. While everything was girlish, including the white canopy bed, there were subtle but obvious touches, including a duplicate of a teddy bear that I remembered from childhood. Drake had obviously tried very hard to assume the role of mother and father. Dozens of books were in the matching bookshelves, more toys and stuffed animals than I could count.

  Her closet was almost full, but there were no signs of a computer. This was simply a room for a little girl to enjoy growing up around her mommy and daddy.

  I closed my eyes, my chest heaving as I tried to breathe. Cut the shit, soldier. You have work to do.

  I moved toward her miniature vanity, a purple velvet cushion covering the small bench-style seat, the edges covered in gold rope. A settee fit for a princess. Seeing the little jewelry box, I couldn’t help but open the lid. As music started playing to the dancing ballerina, a lump formed in my throat. Inside were beautiful baubles as well as a handwritten note, the writing I’d recognize anywhere.

  Remember always that Daddy loves you.

  There were no words to describe the heaviness in my heart or the weight that would remain for some time to come.

  The loss was tremendous.

  Oh, God. I closed my eyes, refusing to allow the tears to fall. I’d yet to shed a single one after hearing about my brother. I had nothing inside that would allow me to unravel the guilt that was so tightly woven around my heart.

  As the song continued, I felt Bryce’s presence behind me, the comfort of knowing she was there unexpected. She had a distinct way of peeling back the layers one by one, forcing me to accept that there was something else to life other than work and anger. Sadly, I wasn’t certain I liked the man being unearthed. He was definitely not someone I was used to dealing with.

  “I thought you might need some company,” Bryce breathed.

  I rubbed my eyes, another round of anger trying to mix in with the sadness. Drake shouldn’t have been the one who died. “You have no idea.”

  “Find anything?”

  “Heartache,” I answered.

  “I understand more than you know. She’s lucky to have you.”

  “Yeah? I guess we’ll see about that,” I managed, able to see Bryce’s reflection in the mirror as I stared at the spinning dancer.

  She inched closer, reaching around me to lower the lid. “Stop doubting yourself, Hawk. There is no need to. Being a good parent is all about love. The rest will come with time.”

  “Wise words, but I’m not a patient man.”

  “Then you need to learn how to be.”

  I chuckled, more out of exasperation than anything. “I just don’t know what I’m going to do.”

  “You take it a day at a time.” She rubbed her hand down my arm, sending a series of sensations down my legs. “When are you going to bring her home?”

  I snorted as I thought about the question. “I’m not certain it’s
a good idea right now. I need to find out what happened to Drake and I won’t put her in harm’s way.”

  “Understandable, but you need to develop the relationship with her, Hawk. Start slowly. She’s lost her entire world.”

  “And her voice.”

  “What?” she asked, inching closer.

  “She hasn’t spoken since she was told about her father.”

  “That’s horrible. I’m so sorry.” Her whisper was strangled. “This might sound strange but are you certain she was told what really happened or just told her father wouldn’t be coming home?”

  I gave her a quizzical look. “Why?”

  “While she might not understand what heaven means, at least she knows that the reason Daddy is gone isn’t about her.”

  I closed my eyes, still trying to grapple with the entire situation. “That’s a damn good question and one I don’t have the answer to, but I will find out.”

  “Good. And bring her a teddy bear. Little girls always need special treats from the men who care about them.”

  “I guess that’s something I need to keep in mind,” I said in a teasing tone.

  She blushed immediately, lowering her eyes as if embarrassed. Then she smiled, the kind that lit up the entire room.

  Everything about Bryce was unexpected, a breath of fresh air. My desire roared to the surface, hot and aching but the feeling was entirely different. I didn’t just want her to stay.

  I needed her to.

  She suddenly felt like the only fuel that would get me through this, a solid tether to keep me from the various demons clawing their way into my psyche. I could see confusion in her eyes, although she tried to hide it. She was entirely right. She didn’t know me, only that I was explosive and opinionated, refusing to take no for an answer.

  I could tell I terrified her.

  Words were needed, soft and inviting, dragging me all the way out of my comfort zone, but as I took her into my arms, they refused to come. Just like they had before.