“I know you didn’t, Eric,” Krista said as she smiled up at him weakly, tears still in her eyes. “It’s not your fault.”
“Just do yourself a favor, bro,” Damien said, “and read about it on the internet or something. You could have really, really hurt her.”
“It wasn’t his fault Damien,” Krista said. “Don’t be so hard on him.”
“Sorry man,” Damien said. “I just… I don’t know…”
“It’s cool,” Eric said, walking towards the door. “If I had a girl like her, I would probably be irrational too.”
“Call us in a few days, okay?” Krista asked. “I still owe you a rematch.”
“Uh-uh, no way,” Eric said. “I called dibs to be on your team at the bar.”
“And here I thought you wanted another chance to tackle me,” Krista said, with a laugh.
“I’ll see you later,” Eric said as he opened the door and walked out.
“Baby, I’m so sorry,” Damien said as, he turned her face up to his and brushed her hair out of the way. “It’s my fault.”
“It’s no one’s fault,” Krista said. “I’m sorry I reacted like that. It just hurt so bad for a second, I swear the room went black. But I’m okay now, honestly.”
“Whatever,” Damien said. “I think we’re done for awhile. Let’s just sit and watch a movie or something.”
Damien stood with her in his arms and walked over to the couch. He sat Krista gently on the couch and grabbed the afghan, pulling it around her.
“No clothes?” Krista asked.
“I said awhile,” Damien said walking over to the DVDs, “not indefinitely.”
“Harry Potter much?” Damien asked, when he noticed that she had all of the movies. “I bet you have all the books too.”
“I know it’s silly,” Krista said, “but I read the first book and fell in love with it. You can’t help but feel sorry for him and then as he starts to grow up, you get all involved with the conflict between him and Voldemort.”
“Just stop right there,” Damien said. “I’ll take your word for it.”
“I should make you watch them with me, beginning to end,” Krista said. “But you would probably die. How about the new Sherlock Holmes movie, with Robert Downey Jr.?”
“Actually, I haven’t seen it yet,” Damien said. “I loved the first one though.”
“Yeah me too,” Krista said. “Let’s watch that one.”
Damien put the movie into Krista’s DVD player and grabbed the afghan off the back of the recliner. He curled up on the couch with her, arranging the afghan so she wouldn’t be cold.
“You know, it was really sweet,” Krista said, “the way you got all freaked out about me with that whole Eric thing.”
“I guess,” Damien said. “You don’t know what it was like to carry your body into the emergency room. So when Eric hurt you like that, I was so angry with him. He should have been more careful with you.”
“It wasn’t his fault,” Krista said. “He didn’t know. And you aren’t so very careful with me either at least not until it’s over.”
“That’s not actually true,” Damien said. “I am very, very careful with you. It just seems as if I’m not. I have used the equipment, the toys and the implements for years, plus I know your body. I would never do anything that would actually hurt you, Krista.”
“But you are always so hard, so abrasive,” Krista said. “Don’t get me wrong, I love it, but it’s hard to believe that you’re thinking of me and what I want the whole time.”
“To tell you the truth, there’s a lot more to me than what you’ve seen. I have other sides, but I was determined to show you that the darkness in me matches what’s in you. The harshness and cruelty serve my purpose, but that’s not all that I am. One day, you will see that the light shines just as brightly as the dark, not just for me, but for you too. For now, though, this is all new for you and it’s fun to play in the dark.”
“So what’s the difference between the light and the dark?” Krista asked.
“The light is filled with love,” Damien said, “the dark – only sex.”
“I don’t know,” Krista said introspectively. “Maybe there is love in the dark too. Maybe it’s possible to love someone by embracing their dark side.”
“I guess that’s possible,” Damien said, “but it wouldn’t be the kind of happy go lucky ‘love’ you are always hearing about.”
“Of course not,” Krista replied,” but that’s not real love anyway, at least I don’t think so. Real love means accepting everything about a person. You have to love all the pieces of their personality that make them who they are, even the dark parts. Real love is sacrifice. It means being willing to touch the dirty, grimy parts of someone’s soul and love them anyway, not just the sticky sweet things they keep on the surface.”
Damien thought about what Krista had said as they sat and watched the movie. It made sense, and he had never thought of it like that. He hadn’t thought that by indulging the dark side of another that you can show your love for them. That’s exactly what he was doing with her though. Even the act of sharing her could be boiled down into accepting a part of her dark side.
Chapter 27
Damien’s phone rang half way through the movie. As Krista paused the DVD player, Damien answered his phone.
“She’s gone,” Tyler said.
“What are you talking about?” Damien asked. “Who’s gone? Your mom left the hospital? Where’d she go?”
“No, I mean she’s gone,” Tyler said. “Forever. She didn’t make it Damien.”
“I swear to god,” Damien said, tears pricking his eyes, “if this is some kind of joke, I will fucking kill you.”
“I wish it was,” Tyler said.
“Tyler seriously,” Damien yelled into the phone, blinking his eyes rapidly as he looked up at the ceiling. “Stop playing around, man.”
“What is it?” Krista asked, concerned.
“Give me a minute,” Damien replied.
“I’m sorry brother,” Tyler said, his voice full of anguish.
“How?” Damien asked quietly, trying to hold it together. Judith had been more of a mom to him than his own for at least the last twenty years. He never would have made it to adulthood if it weren’t for her. She was the only one that had ever believed in him, stood by him. She just couldn’t be dead.
“When she fell,” Tyler said, “her hip broke and a piece of it perforated her intestines. You know her system was already weak from everything she’s been dealing with. Her body turned septic and it was just too much. Her organs quit and they couldn’t revive her.”
“That’s bullshit,” Damien yelled into the phone. “I can’t believe you would pull this kind of trick. You are a stupid fuck!”
Damien dropped the phone and sat down on the floor. His head fell into his hands as silent sobs racked his body. Krista picked up the phone, figuring it might be easier to try to talk to Tyler. She took the phone to the kitchen.
“What’s going on Tyler?” Krista asked, softly. “What’s the matter with Damien?”
“My mom died,” Tyler said. “She and Damien were really close. He’s been like a brother to me since we were about eight and my mom was a big part of his life. I guess he’s taking it pretty hard.”
“Oh my god, Tyler,” Krista said. “I’m so sorry. Are you okay?”
“Not really,” Tyler said. “But I will be. My mom’s been telling me for awhile that something like this was a possibility.”
“Why not Damien too, if they’re so close?” Krista asked.
“My mom probably didn’t want him to worry,” Tyler said. “Damien’s already lost his whole family. We were the only ones he had left.”
“I didn’t know,” Krista said.
“Yeah well, he keeps that kind of stuff bottled up,” Tyler said.
“He doesn’t seem to be,” Krista replied in a whisper. “He damn near took your head off through the phone and now he’s crying on the livi
ng room.”
“I’ve got some paperwork I have to fill out here,” Tyler said, “but I’ll be back as soon as I can. Just try to keep him calm. Okay?”
“Well, yeah,” Krista said. “Of course.”
“Krista,” Tyler said seriously, “if he starts to freak out, just leave okay? I know that he would never hurt you on purpose, but he might not mean to. His control isn’t so good during intense situations. You understand what I’m saying right?”
“Yeah,” Krista said. “I hear you. But I can’t leave him like this. Just hurry okay. We’ll be fine.”
Krista closed the phone and walked back to the living room.
“Damien?” she said softly.
There was no response. Krista sat down on the floor in front of him, laying a gentle hand on his arm. Before she even realized it, she felt him crushing his face into her chest. He held her so tightly, she could barely breathe. Giving him what comfort she could, she wrapped her arms around him, calm sounds coming from her throat.
“It’s okay, baby,” Krista said, stroking his head soothingly. “I’m here and Tyler will be back soon. Okay?”
Damien pushed her away from him, shoving her so hard she almost fell over.
“You keep that lying fuck away from me,” Damien said as he stood up, tear stains drying on his cheeks. “He told me I should go with him. Then he made this up to fuck with me when I wanted to stay with you. She’s fine. Judith’s alive and this is just a stupid joke.”
“Just calm down,” Krista said as she stood up. “Okay? Everything’s going to be fine.”
“I will NOT CALM DOWN!” Damien yelled, punching his hand into the wall. “She took me in when she didn’t have to, taught me values, loved me. As a single mom she did that. It was hard enough raising her own son by herself, but she didn’t even blink an eye at doing it all for me too while my mom boozed herself to death after my father died. I loved her.”
“I know you did,” Krista said, wrapping her arms around him. “I know you still do, Damien. You always will. That kind of love will never die.”
Krista leaned her head against Damien’s forehead and held him tightly.
“Please,” Damien said, his lips hovering above hers as he grasped the hair on each side of her head. “I need you.”
Krista tilted her head up to meet his mouth as it descended. Damien kissed her with a rawness she had never felt before. With every touch, every caress, he was pouring his sorrow into her and she was drowning in it. She’d never felt so much emotion before from one person, didn’t know it was possible to carry around that much. She was going to break under the weight of it.
Krista knew her lips were bruised when Damien pulled away. His eyes were frightening in their intensity, but he needed her and Krista couldn’t deny him. If this would help, then she would do it. As he pushed her to the floor, he ripped the clothes from his body, tearing them in his haste.
Krista screamed as he thrust into her without warning. She reached out, trying to comfort him, but he slammed her hands the floor, holding them in place. This wasn’t about love. It wasn’t even about sex. This was him trying to stop the pain. Damien slammed into her, harder than she’d ever been fucked before. She cried out over and over, loud enough to block the sound of the door opening.
“Please,” Damien begged, thrusting fiercely, “I need this, please. Don’t leave me alone.”
“I won’t leave you,” Krista said as she lifted her hips, adjusting the angle to better take him. She would be sore tomorrow, but she wouldn’t abandon him. With him pounding into her hard enough to draw her own tears, Krista felt her heart rip open. It swallowed all the emotion he poured into her, creating a place deep inside her that belonged to him.
“I love you,” Krista whispered, as her eyes overflowed, the pain, sorrow, and love too much to bear. She kept giving though, giving him everything she had, everything she was, if only he’d feel better.
“I love you too,” Damien said as he thrust deep inside her, forcing a final scream from her throat as his orgasm crashed over him and he collapsed on top of her.
Tyler felt his heart break for the second time that day while he watched them. It didn’t seem fair that he would lose his mom and his girl all in one day. The party was ages away, but that didn’t matter. Krista loved Damien. She had given herself so completely to him just now, trying to patch his wounded heart. He’d never seen anyone give so much, sacrificing everything to help the other and taking nothing in return. It was selfless. It was love. It was real.
She had made her choice and it wasn’t him. Damien had her heart, probably her very soul, if their coupling was any indication. Tyler turned around, walked out of the apartment and shut the door softly behind him. He would go to his mother’s house, be close to the only woman who had ever loved him one last time.
Thankfully, he didn’t have to spend his time making funeral arrangements and calling the rest of the family. Aunt Ellen, his mother’s sister had said she’d take care of everything. Tyler turned his phone off. Between Krista and his mom, he just couldn’t deal with anything else.
Chapter 28
“I don’t know where he is,” Damien said harshly, “and I don’t care.”
“You’ve known him since you were eight, Damien,” Krista said, exasperated. “He’s your best friend and he needs you. He needs us!”
“Yeah, he used to be my best friend,” Damien said, “but that was before.”
“Before what?” Krista asked.
“I don’t want to talk about it, okay,” Damien said. “I’m sure he’s fine. He’s grieving. Maybe he wants to do it in private.”
“He said he was on his way here last night,” Krista said. “Something’s happened or he would be here. I know it.”
“What does it matter?” Damien asked, trying to pull Krista into his arms. “You told me you love me last night. Forget about him.”
Krista thought about how she had been feeling all morning as she pushed away from Damien. Worried did not even begin to cover her feelings for Tyler. She knew he wouldn’t have gone somewhere else, not after the way he had acted on the phone. She was terrified that he had been in a car accident or something terrible. That was the only thing she could think of that would have kept him from coming back. Her heart skipped a beat as she realized she loved both of them.
“You think just because I love you that I don’t care about Tyler?” Krista asked.
“I’m sure you care about him,” Damien said, “but I’m the one you love. I’m the one you want.”
“I love you both,” Krista said. “I want you both.”
“Look I shared you with him so I could show you that I can be what you need, but I won’t share you with him forever. Anyone else but not him. You told me you loved me. You belong to me.”
“You are a selfish jerk,” Krista said. “I can’t believe you would abandon him. And I am not a piece of property. You don’t own me. Just go. I can’t stand to be around you right now.”
“You don’t mean that,” Damien said. “You’re upset.”
“DON’T tell me what I feel,” Krista said, pushing Damien towards the door. “If you aren’t going to do anything to help me find him, then go.”
“His phone’s off,” Damien said. “What more can I do? Krista stop pushing me!”
“You are so full of shit, Damien,” Krista said as she opened the door. “You won’t even try to help me. Just get OUT!”
“Baby, please,” Damien said as he stood in the doorway. “I need you. You said you wouldn’t leave.”
“I’m not,” Krista said, pushing him out the door. “You are.”
Krista threw her phone against the couch. She didn’t want to turn it off because Tyler might call, but this was getting ridiculous. There were thirty eight missed calls from Damien and fifty two text messages. He was in a bad place right now, and her heart broke to do this to him. But she just couldn’t believe he wouldn’t at least try to find Tyler.
Krista had cal
led all of the hospitals and gone by his house. When neither of those ideas panned out, she’d staked out his club, also to no avail. Finally, she’d called the police, but they said they had investigated it and he was fine. It was as if he didn’t exist. And the only person she could think of that might know where he would go or what he would do, wasn’t talking.
There was only one thing she could think of. It was a last ditch effort, though, and if it didn’t work, she might never recover. Krista sent Damien a text message.
I love you, Damien. But I love Tyler, too. I need you both to be happy and will not be forced to choose between you. It will kill me to lose you, but it’s all or nothing. Please help me find him.
That had been almost a month ago. Krista hadn’t heard from Damien since. And Tyler hadn’t called either or answered any of her calls. She couldn’t understand what had happened. It must have something to do with the grief of losing his mother. But it hurt, more than she could stand.
Harder still was fighting the urge to go back on her word and call Damien. Krista knew her happily ever after was almost within reach and she wasn’t going to settle for anything less. Now she was trying to explain the whole situation to Heather while they sat on her back porch drinking wine.
“I just don’t understand,” Heather said, “how he could call you, warn you that Damien might accidentally hurt you, say he would hurry back and then you never hear from him again. I mean it doesn’t make any sense.”
“I know,” Krista said, refilling her wine glass. “The whole thing is crazy. Even if he had come back though, clearly Damien wasn’t willing to share me with him indefinitely and that’s what I want. I want it so bad!”
“Some things just aren’t meant to be,” Heather said. “I mean it’s been almost a month and you haven’t heard from either of them.”
Chained (When Bondage Meets Innocence) Page 23