by J. A. Owenby
Avery tilted her head, waiting for me to weigh in.
My palms suddenly grew clammy, and I rubbed them on my flannel pajama bottoms. “Avery, I can’t explain everything to you. I promise I will in time, but apparently I need to get a little bit ahead of the situation.”
She folded her hands in her lap, her gaze unwavering.
I inhaled a shaky breath. “I’m Victoria. My birth name was Victoria Alison Benton. When I left Arkansas, I needed to leave that girl behind, the one who had been used and tossed away. In order for me to be true to myself and start a new life, I became Tensley Alison Bennett.”
“Holy shit.”
A pregnant pause filled the air, and it was my turn to wait for a response. The silence was killing me, so I continued. “I’m sorry I withheld that from you, but I never expected to run into anyone from my past here.”
Avery nodded, pulling her bottom lip between her teeth. “I’ve always known there’s more to you than you allow me to see, and that’s okay. I think we all have a piece of us we protect at all costs. I’m just trying to wrap my mind around the idea that life could be so devastating, you didn’t even want to keep your name. That shit was so bad, you needed to separate yourself by distance and change your name in order to feel safe. I think my heart just broke, and at the same time, I have even more respect for you. And now all I want to do is protect you from whatever is going on. Ten, you’re not just my best friend, you’re my family, my sister.”
I inwardly heaved a major sigh of relief. “You’re not pissed at me?” Between Benji and Avery, it was Avery I’d been the most concerned about.
“I’m disappointed, but maybe I would have done the exact same thing. And the bottom line? It’s not about what I think right now. It’s about what is going to make you happy. So whatever is haunting you, please know I’m here, day or night, to help in any way I can. It’s what sisters do for each other.”
Relief flooded me as though someone had just opened the dam. I hopped off my barstool and wrapped my arms around her.
“I love you.” I laid my head on her shoulder and counted my blessings.
“Right back atcha.”
“You look hot tonight,” Benji said, beaming at me from the driver’s seat. “Did Avery help dress you?” He snickered at his slight dig.
I smoothed my plum-colored blouse and tucked a stray hair behind my ear. I’d paired the top with boyfriend jeans and black boots. “I realize you think I can’t doll up all on my own, but I’ll have you know”—I directed my hand from my face down my body—“this was all me.” I winked at him and laughed as he pulled into the comedy club parking lot.
“Shit. Do you see any available spaces? I can’t believe it’s this packed.” He leaned forward in his seat, scouring the area for a vacant spot.
“No. I wonder if it’s so busy due to the track meet coming up?”
“Yeah. I have no clue, but this is completely unacceptable.” He blew out a sigh, and his attention cut toward me. “Are you okay walking a little bit? We can see if there’s any availability near the back of the building. People park in the alley all the time.”
“We’ve parked there before. Go for it.” One thing I didn’t mind was walking. When I was younger, I would walk for miles in the middle of the night if I couldn’t sleep. There was something about it I found soothing. Maybe it was the fact that I could get one over on whatever foster parents I was with for the week, or maybe I was most comfortable when the darkness concealed me.
Once Benji parked, he hurried out of the car and around to my side. He looked terrific, but Benji never had a bad day when it came to his looks. His clothing style leaned toward metro, and he adored loud colors. That night, he’d opted for a bright-red button-down tucked into his designer jeans, which were rolled up at his ankles.
“Ma’am,” he said, opening the door and extending his hand to me.
“Ah, you’re so sweet.” I put my fingers in his and stood, grinning. Maybe it was silly, but Benji was the only guy who made me feel special. Valuable.
He locked up, turned, and held out his arm to me. I looped mine through his and we hurried toward the club.
Every time I saw the redbrick building, it reminded me of home. I was astonished by the lack of brick homes in Spokane, but they rarely had a tornado there. I grew up in tornado alley, so not only did people need a solid home, but most houses included a basement.
Benji pulled me through the entrance, then he came to an abrupt halt. “Shit,” he muttered. “Thomas is already performing.”
I bounced on my tiptoes and attempted to peek over him, but there were too many people for me to see the stage clearly. “What? I thought he wasn’t on until later.”
“So did I.” Benji’s eyes darted around the crowded room then grabbed my hand and pulled me toward the farthest wall. There was standing space only.
I gave Benji’s hand a reassuring squeeze. “Thomas has a bright spotlight on him, so he probably can’t see people very well in the audience. Maybe he doesn’t realize you’re late.”
I leaned against the wall, and my thoughts fell on Thomas as he continued to entertain the room. His hair was teased into a long afro, and although I didn’t care much for him, Thomas was handsome. His short-sleeved yellow shirt showcased his well-sculpted arms, but I had no clue why he thought burgundy skinny jeans worked well with such a bright-colored top. But what do I know? I relied on my roomies to dress me most of the time.
The crowd roared with laughter, breaking my thoughts. I peeked at Benji, who was mindlessly fiddling with a hangnail on his thumb. He was stressed, and my heart ached for him. I wasn’t sure why Benji couldn’t walk away from Thomas after the guy had cheated on him, but there was some kind of unhealthy pull in their relationship. I never talked to Benji about it because I was in no way qualified to give dating advice.
The room thundered with loud applause as Thomas bowed to the audience, his eyes landing on us in the back. The announcer jumped on the stage and began to introduce the next comic.
Thomas hopped off the platform and made his way over to us. “You made it,” he said to Benji, practically ignoring my existence. He leaned over and gave Benji a quick peck on the mouth. “Hello, Tensley.”
My lips pursed together with a curt greeting. “Thomas.” I offered him the best fake smile I could. “You were great tonight.” And that was all it took, a stroke to the male ego, for his walls to melt faster than butter in a hot cast-iron skillet. I stopped myself before I made a gagging sound.
“Yeah?” Thomas asked, taking Benji’s hand in his and threading their fingers together. “I think it went over well. I wrote all new jokes this week.”
“You brought the house down,” Benji said. “I’m so proud of you.”
“Too bad you missed the first half.” Thomas’s eyes narrowed slightly while he pinned Benji with his unforgiving gaze.
I cringed slightly at Thomas’s steely tone. “It was my fault.” It wasn’t, but I didn’t want an argument to start.
“It won’t happen again. Promise.” Benji’s expression pleaded with his piece-of-shit boyfriend while fury boiled in the pit of my stomach.
After all the years of pretending to feel differently than I’d portrayed, something inside me snapped for the first time. I grabbed Thomas’s arm and whirled him around toward me. I didn’t miss the horrified expression on my best friend’s face, but it was too late. My anger was accelerating full speed ahead.
Jabbing my pointer finger into Thomas’s chest, I unloaded on him. “You listen to me, you entitled asshole. Benji loves you, and you’ve done nothing but treat him like shit. You cheated on him—not once, but twice—then have the audacity to get pissed because he’s late? Who do you think you are? He’s the most loyal person you’ll ever find, so I highly recommend you get your shit together before he tells you to fuck off. He’s too damned good for you.”
A gasp escaped Benji as his hands flew over his mouth. Dammit, I’d fucked up. I never spoke to people
like that, but something inside me had broken, and I wasn’t sure it would ever be fixed. Maybe I’d finally crossed the threshold on my bullshit-and-disrespect meter.
“I’m sorry, Benji. You deserve someone who treats you better.” Shit, I sure did pick a great time to share with Benji how I really felt.
Thomas’s deep-brown eyes flashed with anger, but he didn’t say a word to me. I wasn’t sure if it was because he was shocked or if he thought better of it in public.
“Benji, I’ll be outside waiting for you.” I whirled around on my heel and elbowed my way through the throng of people and out the front door. Shit, shit, shit. I had inserted myself where I didn’t belong, and an alien creature had taken over my mouth. One thing I was skilled at was keeping my trap shut and hiding.
I barked out a laugh and leaned against the building near the entrance. Allowing the cool night air to calm my anger, I recalled the last time I’d lost my shit and stood up to someone. Chloe Sullivan’s sneer and giggle rang through my mind as I recalled one of the many times she’d targeted me during lunch our senior year.
She’d purposefully run into me in the cafeteria, her shoulder smacking mine. My milk teetered off my tray and landed with a loud splat on the tile floor and my food followed. Milk exploded in every direction, soaking my worn tennis shoes. I’d just loaded my tray with as much food as the cafeteria workers had allowed me to. Not only was it my meal for the day, but I tried to save the apple or orange for the younger foster kids wherever I was staying. Now it was scattered across the surrounding area, and the only place it would go to was the trash.
Chloe’s words taunted me. I never saw you there. Guess you’re just see-through.
Every pair of eyes in the cafeteria was trained on us. My temper had traveled from zero to sixty when my plastic tray had clattered to the floor. Chloe’s cackle rang throughout the room. She obviously thought it was funny, but I couldn’t get any more food for the day. Then I grew some balls and approached my nemesis. I was sick and tired of being targeted by her and Layne. Fuck them. Someone needed to put them in their place, and I had officially volunteered.
As we stood toe to toe, a mixture of hate and disgust twisted Chloe’s grin into a sneer. Her jaw clenched while I leaned near her until my face was only inches away from hers. I insisted she buy me another lunch, and of course, she declined. Chloe’s brown eyes narrowed as she grabbed a handful of my hair and yanked. A yelp escaped me before I could stop it. I reached up, attempting to pry her cat claws away from me.
A deep voice from behind me yelled her name. My gaze cut sideways. Great, my second tormentor, Layne, was approaching us. He casually strolled over to her while he assessed the situation. Layne reached for Chloe’s hand and coaxed her into letting me go. She whined as Layne assured her they would deal with me later.
But before I had walked away, I’d made it clear to both of them that the situation wasn’t over by a long shot.
The comedy club door burst open, pulling me away from the haunting high school incident. A tipsy group of guys stumbled across the parking lot while they slapped each other on the backs, hooting and hollering about a party later that night. A girl’s name was tossed back and forth between them, along with more catcalls. I secretly hoped whoever she was had some mace. From the way they were discussing her intimately, I could tell they were assholes.
I shook my head in disgust while my thoughts returned to Chloe and Layne. This wasn’t the first time I’d wondered if things would have gone differently had I just walked away, if I hadn’t lost my shit and told Chloe it wasn’t over. And I’d been right. It hadn’t been over, not by a long shot.
A chill traveled down my spine, and I rubbed my arms, warding off the continued thoughts of my bullies. The front door burst open again, and Benji tentatively stepped outside into the dark parking lot.
“Benji!” I moved out of the safe shadow of the building. “I’m so sorry.”
His faced morphed into relief when he saw me. He pulled me to him and wrapped me up in a warm hug. “I wasn’t sure where you went,” he whispered against my hair.
“Just out here. I was afraid I’d say something else. I don’t know what came over me.” I broke our hug and stepped back, glancing up at him. Pain and anger flickered across his face, and I traced his cheek with my fingertips. “Are you okay?”
“Yeah, but we’re done. I’m done. Thomas doesn’t deserve me. I can’t really explain it, but watching you … Listening to you stand up for me brought some clarity. I mean, here we are in public, and he’s chastising me like I’m a child. Mmm, no. It was like a bolt of lightning that traveled through me, and I saw the situation differently. I saw Thomas differently.”
“Yes!” I yelped and performed a happy dance in the parking lot.
“I’m a free man!” he shouted into the star-filled sky.
“Oh, maybe you’ll run into that guy from the bar last night.” I wiggled my eyebrows at him, giggling. “Ya know, the hottie with the ball cap?”
Benji’s shoulders sagged, and he draped his arm over my shoulder. “Thank you for sticking up for me.” He began to walk slowly toward the car. “I should have stood up to him myself, but dammit, he’s got a magic stick like no other.”
I snickered. Benji and I didn’t discuss his sex life in great depth, but he’d shared a few times how well-endowed or not a partner was. We rounded the corner of the building in silence while my heart swelled with pride. I knew Benji had struggled to stand up to Thomas, but he’d finally done it. That called for a celebration.
“It’s still early. Do you want to go clubbing?” Benji twirled a strand of my hair around his finger. “Maybe we can find us both a plaything after all.”
“Ha. No, thanks. But ya know, dancing sounds like fun—only if you allow me to buy you a few shots, though.”
A wide grin played across his lips. “Deal.”
“Are you sure you’re okay about Thomas?” I asked.
Before he could answer, a clammy hand slipped around me, covered my mouth, and ripped me away from Benji.
5
My eyes widened in terror while a dark-haired, sturdy guy grabbed Benji’s arms and pinned them behind his back. A shorter blond approached him and immediately swung his fist into Benji’s gut, doubling him over.
I squirmed against the body that confined me, but the man was too strong. Tears stung my eyes as Benji’s cries rang through the alley. My heart pounded wildly against my ribs as I lifted both my legs off the ground and threw my weight forward, sending myself and my captor to the ground. I rolled over and attempted to scramble across the asphalt, but he was too quick and he crawled on top of me. Then he flipped me over on my back and immobilized my wrists over my head.
“Aren’t you a hot little piece of ass?” He palmed my breast through my shirt and ground his hips against me. His knee forcefully parted my legs as a scream ripped from my throat. In seconds, he had my jeans undone and his cold fingers against my lower abdomen.
The pain of sharp pebbles cut into the back of my hands and brought some clarity to my muddled brain.
“You stupid fuck.” I picked my head up off the ground and spit in his face. Most of it landed in his eyes. Thank God I have good aim. My cousins had taught me to hock a hell of a loogie when we were young, but I never figured I would need it as a weapon. Maybe Arkansas had served a small purpose in my life after all.
“Bitch,” he growled, wiping off my saliva with his shirt.
I bucked my hips off the ground, sending him sideways and onto the unforgiving asphalt. My eyes landed on Benji, and bile swam up to my throat. Benji’s eye was quickly swelling shut, and blood poured from what I assumed was a broken nose.
“Benji!” Dammit, someone had to be nearby. “Help!” My desperate cry was only met with strong fingers wrapping around my ankle and tugging me toward the asshole who wanted in my pants. He slammed his hand over my mouth and rolled me over to my back again.
I chastised myself for cutting my nails short. I w
ould have loved to claw the fucker’s eyes out. Squirming, I fought with everything inside me, but the guy still managed to get my pants down past my hips. My nostrils flared with red-hot anger, and I stilled. I mentally surveyed as much about him as I could. I would hunt him down the rest of his life if he raped me. Reddish brown hair, broad shoulders, five o’clock stubble on his round face. Brown T-shirt, black jeans, crooked front teeth.
The sound of his zipper rang in my ears, and I attempted to bite the hand that held my mouth closed. A loud thud caught my attention, and the bastard was pulled off me, his arms flailing as he landed ass first on the ground.
I scrambled to my feet as another guy slammed his fist into the asshole’s face. Not wasting any time, I adjusted and buttoned my jeans, then hurried toward Benji, who was curled into a ball and lying motionless. I jumped on the back of the blond-haired assailant who was kicking Benji over and over in the ribs. I pulled his hair and attempted to claw his face with my short nails, forcing him to stop assaulting my best friend. The dark-haired guy whirled around and pinned me with a hateful glare, but I kept going.
Before I realized what was happening, the dark-headed asshole dropped to the ground. He held on to his side and whined like the little bitch he really was as a booted foot made contact with his gut. He rolled away and scrambled to stand. His fist balled up and he swung wide, clipping the jaw of whoever had joined us. I couldn’t see who my hero was, but if we got out of this alive, he would forever have my gratitude.
Losing my balance, I hopped off the back of number one and stumbled backward. He turned toward me, and for the first time, I saw his face. I’d done some damage, and blood was trickling into his right eye. But I hadn’t done enough.
In one fell swoop, the guy jerked me into a standing position by my blouse, ripping the thin material open and sending the buttons pinging off the ground. “You’ll pay for that, bitch. You and your faggot friend shouldn’t be out in public.”