The Big D

by Brittany Crowley

  “Cute. You guys better be careful when you’re in public.”

  “Mich, that’s exactly why I called this meeting. This has gone on far too long. It’s not my baby and I want nothing to do with it. You need to figure what you’re gonna tell the press when I come clean.”

  “Yeah, that doesn’t really work for me.”

  “Don’t try to fight me. After we broke up I went along with everything after your little “spa” visit. I even kept my mouth shut like a good little boy when you got yourself knocked up. No more. The lies are done. You should be thanking me for coming to you instead of outing you to the tabloids.”

  “Oh Grant. Sweet, naïve Grant. This was your best feature because I could get away with murder around you.” She smiles. “But, I’m afraid you have no say in the matter.” She massages her swollen belly. It makes me wonder how far along she is.

  “And I don’t give a fuck how you feel. Get it done Mich.”

  He’s starting to get aggravated so I try rubbing his back over his shirt. I feel him melt a little into my touch a little.

  “Jim.” She puts her hand out and a guy I’m assuming is Jim places a document in it.

  “I didn’t want it to come to this, but you left me no choice. Remember the NDA you signed right after we broke up?”

  “I do.”

  “Well, what you don’t know is I had a special section added to it. Just in case something like this were to pop up.”

  In an instant, I’m sitting in the seat by myself and Grants on his feet. “What the hell are you playing at Michelle?”

  “Your hands are tied, you can’t go to the tabloids. Until this baby is born, you’re to play the part of a doting boyfriend and thrilled dad to be.”

  He walks up and rips the paper from her hands. After reading it over the air in the room changes and I feel like I’m about to witness a nuclear meltdown.

  “What the fuck is wrong with you?” He roars across the room.

  “I assure you it’s all top notch. My lawyer worked on this bad boy for quite some time to get it just right. I’m not willing to lose my career over this baby nonsense.”

  “You’ll be hearing from my lawyer.”

  Grant walks over to me, grabs my hand and pulls me towards the elevator. He quickly presses the elevator button while his chest’s heaving and I’m feeling all kinds of uncomfortable. After we’re safely inside and the doors about to close Michelle stops it.

  “Just remember pumpkin, no PDA.” She winks and lets the doors close.

  Then all hell breaks loose and my Vegas trip comes to an end.

  I’M YOUR WHAT?

  “I’m sorry, this just isn’t going to work out Agnes.” My boss Sherry gives me a sympathetic smile.

  “What am I supposed to do? I still have bills no matter how many photographers want to stalk me.”

  “You can ask your wealthy boyfriend.” She snickers.

  “You know what? Mr. Roger’s would be ashamed of the person you’ve become.”

  Adrenaline’s rushing through my veins after storming out of the office and I don’t stop until I get to the sidewalk. Bending over, hands on knees, I breathe steadily to get my breathing under control.

  “I can’t believe I just got fired.” I whisper to myself.

  This is all going so wrong. The paparazzi are ruining my life! They’re everywhere, including in front of me taking pictures of my mental breakdown.

  How the hell am I going to pay my bills? I think for the hundredth time today. You know what? I may not know how, but I’ll get it done. I need a secret job where people don’t know I work, then the bloodhounds can’t show up. Yeah, maybe a phone operator or a clown. I can be one of the characters in Disney World!

  My phone starts ringing when visions of me as I gigantic mouse float through my head and I notice it’s Grant. I’m surprised because once we returned from Vegas a few days ago I haven’t seen much of him. He’s been meeting with his lawyers trying to figure out this contract he signed without his knowing.

  “Hello.”

  “Hey baby. Where are you?”

  “Oh, you know, standing on the sidewalk being photographed in all my humiliating glory.”

  “Humiliated how? I thought you were working tonight?” He sounds on edge.

  “How about I meet you? I’ll start walking now.” I take a few steps.

  “Nothing to see here folks, just taking a lovely stroll on this fine day talking to absolutely no one of importance.”

  Grant chuckles through the phone. “Hang left Aggie and walk straight for the road.”

  I do as I’m told and find a black car waiting at the curb. If these people followed me the whole walk, I would have pulled a Britney and umbrellaed someone.

  After shutting the door, I realize I’m by myself with Grant for the first time in days.

  His hands come to my hips after I launch myself across the car at him and start running my fingers through his hair. “I missed you.”

  “Missed me or my Big D?” He’s sporting a giant grin but his eyes are tired. It lets me know this mess is taking a toll on him.

  “You silly.” Then I bury my head in his neck and take a deep breath. His masculine scent calms me immediately.

  “What’s the matter Aggie?”

  “I’m gonna be homeless.” I mumble against his skin.

  “Word is you have an extremely wealthy boyfriend who might be feeling generous.” He waggles his brows.

  “Ha Ha. This is serious. And technically we’re not a couple.” I shrug my shoulders. This little situation has bugged the hell out of me, but what can you do?

  “Don’t say that.” He growls. “We’re in a relationship Aggie, I don’t care what anyone says.”

  “Anything new?”

  “Not much. But we did receive a list of demands from Madame Cunt.”

  I gasp. “Don’t say that word!” My hand covers his mouth to stop him.

  He removes my hand from his mouth, kisses my palm and places it on his chest. “She is baby, just calling it like I see it.”

  “So, a list of demands?” He cringes slightly making me nervous.

  “She wants me to make an official statement saying we’re not together, you and me.”

  “And…”

  “Say the reason why we’re on the cover of all the tabloids making out is because you’re a crazed fan who attacked me.”

  “What?” I shriek. “I’ve never attacked anyone in my whole life! Let alone with my mouth!”

  “Calm down baby, I’m not going to do it. Me and my lawyer have come up with a plausible story. And it’s fantastic because it’ll explain why we’ll be together all the time until I figure this clusterfuck out.”

  “Don’t keep me in suspense Mr. Donovan.”

  He groans. “You know how much I love that.”

  His hands find my breasts and squeeze through my shirt. My back arches pushing them further into his hands.

  “Tell Me. I breathily plead.

  “You’re my new Personal Assistant.” He kisses his way down my neck until he gets to my collar bone. But I stop him by shoving him backwards.

  “I’m your what?”

  “You’re my new PA. You’ll be on the books and everything so no one can question it. But before you argue…”

  I smash my lips to his, stealing a toe curling kiss. “I’ll take it!”

  “That was easy.” He leans forward for another kiss but I pull back.

  “I got canned today, twice. I’m unemployed and soon to be homeless. It’d be stupid to let this opportunity pass me by.”

  “You got fired?” He growls.

  “The paparazzi were causing problems so they had to let me go. But don’t worry, I gave them a good talking to before I left. What about your other assistant? Nadia?”

  “Natalie will be dealing less with me and more with my restaurants for the time being. She’s thrilled. Apparently, I can be a pain in the ass.” He shrugs then gets serious. “Who fired you at Hence
?”

  “Sherry, and before you say you’re gonna fire her. Don’t. This is the real world and I have to deal with the consequences.”

  “The consequences of dating me.”

  “Yup. I can hack it.” I wink at him.

  “My badass.” His hands move around my hips to cup my ass.

  “The baddest.” I breathe into his mouth once he presses them together.

  Grant hikes my skirt until my ass is exposed. Glancing around, I notice the partition in the car isn’t closed.

  “Close it.”

  “What happened to my little badass?”

  Then I get an idea, if he wants a sexy little minx, he’s about to get one. As his hand is grazing above my pussy, I pull back and get to my knees.

  The need in his gorgeous brown eyes shines through when I unbuckle his dress pants, lower the zipper and pull the fabric of his pants and boxer briefs over his hips.

  He reaches for the button to close the partition and I scratch my nails down his thighs in warning. His head whips back and I know it’s now or never. Dick in hand, I lick from base to tip at an agonizingly slow pace.

  “Christ!” He groans while bucking his hips.

  It’s insane to me that I can make this man, Grant Donovan wealthy restaurateur, go crazy for me. With just one lick.

  “Aggie…” He moans when I take his cock in my mouth. Grant’s much larger than what I’ve experienced, so there’s a learning curve here.

  His little noises make me go crazy. I’m sucking like a porn star and cupping his balls like I’m trying to find the perfect ripened tomatoes.

  Grant’s trying to keep his voice down because of his driver, but he’s not stupid. There’s no way he doesn’t know what’s going on.

  “I’m gonna come…” He growls and it confirms the fact that the driver knows a little hanky panky’s going on in the back seat.

  Get your head in the game Aggie! The man’s coming!

  I take him to the back of my throat and hollow my cheeks. The gag reflex is strong with this one, that’s for sure. But I hold it back while trying to smile.

  You’ve never heard of that? You suppress gagging with smiling! I saw it on one of those forensic shows on TV a while back. Works like a charm.

  When he’s done, he lets go of my hair that I didn’t realize he’s been tugging on for leverage, leaving my scalp feeling tender.

  “Just when I think I have you figured out Miss Fletcher.”

  I wipe my mouth. That’s right, no time to pull back. Down the hatch. I need to pay attention next time. I know it’s extremely erotic for a man to see, but gross. You’re lying if you say you like it. If you walked into a bar and they were serving shots of jizz… sorry I got lost there for a second.

  Once we get back to his condo, we decide to get ourselves a glass of wine to discuss this Michelle fiasco some more.

  The end result is I’m now his very trustworthy and accomplished PA. Even though I have no idea what I’m supposed to do. Deliver coffee and pick up dry cleaning, right? Easy as pie.

  “Let’s discuss salary.”

  I stare seriously at him. “Lets.”

  The number he throws out at me has me falling backwards off the couch. Thank god I finished my wine and the glass is safely on the coffee table.

  “Shit Aggie, what’s the matter?”

  See, I literally fell off the couch because I’ve never dreamt of making that much money in my life. Well, I guess I’ve dreamt it, but it was a wish. Never an attainable goal.

  I could get a better apartment, help Mimi with her bills and get a new cell phone! This is life changing.

  “Are you seriously serious?”

  “I’m seriously serious baby.”

  I start mermaid dancing as Fat Amy calls it and kick my legs all over the place. “Oh my god!”

  Grant falls to the ground next to me with great exaggeration causing me to laugh.

  “You Grant Donovan, have just changed my life. In all seriousness, I knew there was something about you the second I laid eyes on you.”

  “Aw, you’re going all soft on me Aggie. Keep going.”

  I laugh. “Nope, that’s all you’ll get. But honestly, thank you, you’re being far too generous.”

  “You fell off the couch before I could tell you the perks.”

  “Perks? You’ve done more than enough already. No more. If I were more righteous I’d tell you to pay me less.”

  “The salary’s non-negotiable. But you also get a housing allowance, and what do you know? A condo in this building just opened up.”

  “I can’t afford to live here!”

  “You can, because I own them. We’ll call it a girlfriend discount. Free.”

  “PA’s discount on the books. And I’m paying.”

  “Aggie, it’s called a housing allowance for a reason.”

  “We’ll negotiate.”

  “You also get a company car…”

  “That just won’t work.” I smile knowing I’ll win this one.

  “Stop fighting with me baby, just take it.”

  “I’d gladly take it, but I don’t have my license.”

  “How can you not have your driver’s license?”

  “Um… it never came up. I live in the city.” I shrug my shoulders.

  “Tomorrow.”

  “Um… tomorrow?”

  “Tomorrow. Let’s head to bed Aggie.”

  “But I’m not tired. Matter of fact, I’m wired! I can finally get Mimi that new TV she’s been wanting. She’s gonna freak having Pat Sajak in HD the size of us!”

  He looks at me with soft eyes and pushes a stray hair out of my face. “This is why you deserve all of this Agnes. I’d give you the world if I could.”

  “I don’t deserve you.” I whisper.

  “That’s not remotely true. I’m constantly trying to figure out how to impress you because my money doesn’t do it.”

  “It doesn’t. Just this.” I place my hand on his heart and his eyes get dark. Then I move my hand lower over his dick. “And this.”

  He hoists me over his shoulder and marches towards his bedroom.

  Just a few short months ago I was Agnes Fletcher working two jobs, barely scraping by. Now I’m a PA making bank for my wealthy boyfriend.

  Please don’t wake me up from this dream.

  WHY ARE YOU BLUSHING AGGIE?

  How do you like your coffee?

  What do you eat for lunch?

  I’m making a list of questions to ask Grant so I can impress people. You know, my new co-workers. I don’t want anyone thinking I was handed this job and no doubt they’ve all seen the tabloids.

  I’ve just gotten out of the shower and I’m in the kitchen wrapped in a towel trying to figure out what to eat for breakfast. Does this guy ever eat? He owns restaurants, but wouldn’t he have food in the house?

  There’s a slight chill in the air and I’m reprimanding myself for not throwing Grant’s robe on.

  That’s right. Me, Agnes Fletcher. Walking around the house practically in my birthday suit. When I leave the kitchen after grabbing some juice, I plan to go throw some clothes on because really, I’m Agnes Fletcher and I need freaking clothes. I stop dead in my tracks and scream when I see two strangers staring at me from the front door.

  “Well hello gorgeous!”

  “Holy Jesus!” I jump back into the kitchen and dive behind the island. If I didn’t have bad luck I’d have zero luck because when I dive the counter stool catches my towel and I find myself sitting on the floor in all my naked glory.

  “Now that’s a way to be welcomed. More people can learn from you Agnes.”

  “Who the hell are you and how do you know my name?”

  “Feisty, I like it.” I’m not sure which of the two’s talking because I’m fully behind a cabinet. I pop my head up so that I can see them. “I’m Rylan and this is Trevor. We’re…”

  “What the fucks going on?” I hear Grant stomping his way to the kitchen. “Hey guys, I didn’
t know you were back.” I hear footsteps and what I assume are bro hugs.

  “We just landed a few hours ago and decided to raid your fridge before we ran into your girl.”

  “What the fuck are you talking about Ry? Where’s Aggie?”

  They point in unison towards where I’m hiding as I pop my head up. Grants looks at me skeptically unsure of what I’m doing.

  “Grade A tits and ass. You’re a lucky guy.” Rylan slaps him on the back.

  “There’s no way you saw my tits!” I dive back behind the cabinets afraid they can see my boobs.

  “Shut the fuck up.” Grant growls from the doorway of the kitchen and starts making his way over towards me. When he gets to where I am he growls and turns towards his brothers. “Were you just gonna stand there and continue to make her feel uncomfortable? What the fucks wrong with you two?”

  The duo backs out of the room and leaves. But not before Trevor winks at me. Rylan might do most of the talking but I have a feeling Trevor is a lady killer.

  “Here baby.” Grant takes off his tee shirt and throws it over my head.

  “How embarrassing. At least I shaved in the shower this morning.”

  “If they know you’re shaved we’re gonna have a big fucking problem. Sorry Aggie, my brothers are morons.”

  “It’s no one’s fault. I already made a mental note to always have clothes on when I’m here.”

  “Fuck that! They’ll be banned from coming here again.”

  I giggle and let him usher me towards his bedroom. Once I’m all dressed and my essentials are covered, I make my way to the living room with Grant. He insisted on escorting me to the bedroom and giving me a proper good morning kiss. And boy did he!

  When we look around the apartment we don’t see his brothers. They must have decided to come back at a more reasonable time… when it’s not seven in the morning.

  I decide to invite them over for dinner later and start figuring out what the game plan for today is.

  “You’re thinking awfully hard at 7am Aggie.” He bends down next to me placing a kiss on my forehead. Forehead kisses are the best kind of kisses.

  “Are they?”

  “I said that out loud, didn’t I?”