Lex and Lu

by J Santiago

  Willa and Sky had identical reactions. They both sat back in their chairs, obviously touched. Then, Willa being Willa, she said, “That’s fucking brilliant. She could be the perfect criminal.”

  Although Sky had thought the exact same thing, she could tell that it was really bothering Lu, so she chose the high road. This time. Reaching out, she grabbed Lu’s hand. “That must have been tough.”

  Willa’s eyes widened. When Lu looked into the swirls of wine in her glass, Willa met Sky’s eyes and gave her a questioning look. Sky merely shrugged.

  “How did Lex take it?” Willa asked.

  “Actually, he did pretty well.” She met Willa’s gaze. “I don’t want you to think I’m being soft on him, OK?” she asked. At Willa’s nod, she continued. “He came over and admitted that he was having a hard time finding his way with Nina. I think it’s the first time Lex has had to work at a relationship with anyone. He doesn’t know how to be her father. And he feels bad trying to when they barely know each other.”

  “Well, perhaps he should have thought of all of this before he forced you to move over there.” Willa’s anger over all things Pellitteri wrapped itself around her like a cloak.

  “We both should have.” Stopping to fortify herself with a sip of wine before bringing this up with Willa, she finally bit the bullet. “I can see now why you wanted me to fight.”

  Willa, not used to anyone conceding anything to her when it wasn’t in a court of law, didn’t quite know what to do. Her opinions were often so resolute that people couldn’t even share the tones of gray in her black-and-white world.

  “Look, I should have stood up for Nina and I. I should have fought him. Maybe if I had fought him she wouldn’t be peddling his memorabilia for cash.”

  “Is he worth that much?” Sky asked, doubtful.

  “Over there he is. It’s like a different planet.”

  “You did what you thought was right,” Sky said, supporting Lu again tonight with her sister.

  “You should have fought him,” Willa concurred, “but it’s too late now. At this point, you have to find a way to make it work. Over there.”

  “Yeah. I’m kind of locked in right now. Tentatively, if things don’t improve or she fails to thrive, we’ll move back here for the start of middle school. That will be two years which I think is an honest attempt.”

  “Have you discussed that with Lex?” Sky asked.

  “Well, are you Miss Sympathetic tonight,” Willa said snidely.

  Sky merely smiled at her and rubbed Lu’s arm, sarcastically bestowing her support.

  “No. Our one and only conversation with each other happened on Thursday, during the Nina brouhaha.”

  “That must have been fun.”

  “Oh my Jesus,” Willa erupted. “Will you can it?”

  Lu laughed, Sky feigned innocence, and Willa continued to stew.

  “You really need to get laid,” Sky said to Willa. “You are severely uptight.”

  “Good segue. What are you going to do when Pete arrives this weekend?” Lu asked sweetly.

  “Ignore him like the plague,” Willa said.

  Lu, who thought she had gotten through to Willa during Thanksgiving, felt her face fall. “Really?” she asked.

  “I don’t know, Lu. I’m going to keep an open mind.”

  “Really?” Lu said again, happy that Willa might let Pete make headway with her.

  “I’m not promising anything, but I heard you last time we talked. I’m mulling it all over.” Annoyed that she felt she needed to let Lu know that she wasn’t completely anti-Pete, she stood up to get another bottle of wine.

  “Drink up, ladies. We have some celebrating to do.”

  They should have stayed home. There was little doubt, as they paid the cab fare and made their way into the bar, that they were doing the big-girl responsible thing. But their voice of reason, Lu, had pulled on her big-girl panties this evening and allowed the three drunken girls to make their way to the strip. In Lu’s mind—her drunken haze, really—Pete and Willa loomed large. If she could just get them together, drunk or sober, she felt certain that they could find their way to each other. Making their way into the bar, Lu spotted Pete waiting for them.

  Flinging herself into his arms, she hugged him hard. “It’s so good to see you,” she said. “Did Lex tell you what Nina did? She’s on her way to being a criminal mastermind.” She rambled all of this into his ear as he hugged her back.

  Laughing, Pete said, “It’s good to see you too. How drunk are you?”

  “I’ve got the big-girl panties on tonight, Petey. We’re celebrating.”

  Meeting Sky’s gaze over Lu’s head, she shrugged. Willa wasn’t ready to make eye contact yet, so she sat at the table and asked, “What are we drinking?”

  Pete, who had been hanging out with a friend of his, stole a chair from another table to accommodate the new arrivals. After he introduced everyone to Andy, he left to get a pitcher of beer. Lu watched him go and noted Willa’s eyes following him across the bar. All inhibitions drowned at this point, Lu kicked her under the table. When Willa looked up, Lu said, “He’s by himself.”

  Willa wanted to roll her eyes at Lu’s antics, but she was just drunk enough that the edge on her mad was dull. Standing up from the table, Willa made her way to Pete.

  Lu, smiling stupidly, pumped her fist. Shit, she thought, I’m drunk.

  Sky took the empty seat next to her and said, “Don’t think we’ll see much of Pete and Willa tonight.”

  “Hopefully not,” Lu said. Feeling bad for excluding Andy, she leaned toward him and asked him how he knew Pete. Engaging him in conversation, Lu lost track of Pete and Willa, which, she decided, was probably best. Andy and Sky started talking business and Lu, suddenly bored, took out her phone. Without thinking about it, she pulled up Lex’s contact.

  We have to stop fighting. She’d texted because she knew it was safe. He’d be sleeping; he’d see it tomorrow and by that time, this impulse would be gone.

  So when her phone buzzed, she pulled it down, under the table so Sky couldn’t see it.

  Is that what we’re doing?

  Puzzled, Lu thought, Of course it is. Knowing drinking and texting was surely not a good thing, she responded.

  Of course it is. What would you call it?

  She was smiling. She could feel it on her face. She and Lex were talking and it made her happy. Looking at the beer in front of her, she took another sip.

  Are you drunk?

  She laughed. Didn’t take him long to figure that out.

  Maybe.

  No maybe about it. Ur drunk.

  Smiling again, Lu felt his pull. She saw him leaning against the wall in her apartment. At the time, she was pissed. He’d looked like he was posing for some Vanity Fair cover. Long lean lines, relaxed pose, scruffy appearance. Enough to make any woman want him. Even her. Again.

  You never answered my question.

  Which one?? Lex responded quickly, as if there weren’t an ocean between them.

  What would you call it, AJ?

  There she was pulling out all the stops. Wanting him to remember who they were to each other.

  Foreplay. Lol!

  She laughed, sidesplitting laughter. She couldn’t believe he remembered. He’d made fun of her all the time. Lu wasn’t frivolous or girlie or into girlie stuff. But her favorite movie had been The Cutting Edge growing up and he’d always ribbed her about it. Saying that the dialogue wasn’t smart enough for her big brain. And that she didn’t even know what that meant. And then he showed her what it meant. That he’d remembered, made everything inside her turn to mush.

  That time, she caused Sky to stop talking to Andy.

  “Whatcha doing over there?” Sky asked.

  “Nothing,” Lu responded, reaching again for her beer.

  “I don’t believe you. Who are you texting?”

  “No one.”

  “Louisa May, are you lying to me?” Sky said, as she made a grab for Lu
’s phone.

  Lu tried to hold on to it but her reflexes were slow. Sky grabbed on and looked at the text conversation.

  Smiling a smile full of I-told-you-so’s, Sky handed the phone back to her. “Oh, Lu,” she singsonged, “you are going to regret that in the morning.”

  “Regret what?” Willa and Pete said, simultaneously as they picked that moment to reappear.

  “Just being drunk the night before I graduate,” Lu covered sweetly.

  Buying it, Pete suggested that they head out. “Speaking of, it’s late. We should probably get you home.”

  Pete pulled his phone out of his pocket and looked down at it, reading an incoming text.

  Make sure she gets home safely.

  Shaking his head, Pete walked over to Lu and helped her stand. “Let’s go, lover girl,” he said, close enough so that no one heard him. “I have orders to make sure you get home safely.”

  29

  Pete was curious but weary of going down the Lex-and-Lu slope. His mission tonight had nothing to do with the two of them. The moment Willa walked with him to the bar, his whole focus shifted. Originally, he had planned to talk to Lu about her relationship with Lex. He’d tried the opposite approach and had taken too many knocks from his brother for comfort. Right now, Lex needed him more than anyone else. He could see Lex withdrawing from everything around him. He could even see it in his play—something he’d never seen diminish. He knew that Lex hardly talked to their mom, and with the death of their father, his knowledge of his brother’s loneliness troubled him. So he’d decided to appeal to Lu—to beg her to reach out to him. The rarity of seeing Lu drunk weighed on his mind, though. And the text from Lex—where had that come from? His thoughts all scattered with one look into Willa’s eyes. She actually smiled at him. So now, he needed to take care of Willa.

  “Let’s go, Sunshine,” Pete said as the cab came to a stop outside of Sky’s three-bedroom bungalow and he pulled Lu up from the seat. It had once been Lu and Nina’s home too, so he was familiar with it and its layout.

  Willa stepped out of his way and let him follow Sky into the house.

  “Where’s Bit?” he asked as he led Lu into her old room.

  “At her friend’s,” Lu managed to get out before falling backward onto the bed. “I am so going to pay for this tomorrow,” she murmured to the wall.

  “I will leave this to you,” Pete said, looking at Sky.

  “I got her,” she said, smiling at Pete. “Go take care of your business.”

  He turned to do just that, but stopped. “Was she texting with Lex?” he asked, his curiosity getting the best of him.

  “Yup. She’s going to regret that in the morning,” Sky said ruefully.

  “I didn’t realize they were talking,” he commented, more to himself than to Sky. But she caught it.

  “Oh, so you haven’t heard about your niece, huh?”

  He cocked his head, a watered-down version of Lex.

  Sky laughed. “Ask Willa,” she said and nodded her head, trying to tell him to take advantage of his opportunity.

  He smiled and left the room. No one had to tell him twice.

  Pete thought about asking Willa to relay the tale of Nina, but he knew that would put them exactly where they didn’t need to be—in the middle of his brother’s family—and he needed them to be in the middle of their family. So he didn’t say a word. He walked to the door of the room where Willa had disappeared and knocked softly.

  “Come in,” she said, just as softly, as if the tenuous spell between them would be shattered by any loud noise or sudden movement.

  Pete slowly turned the knob, briefly resting his head on the door before pushing it gently open. He prayed silently, Don’t let me fuck this up, before, he stepped over the threshold. He walked into the room, breathing a sigh of relief. He could hear the sink running. He sank into the decorative chair in the corner of the room, next to the table that held the TV. He tried to collect his thoughts, wondering what he might do to blow this. He couldn’t help it. Suddenly with all of the turmoil of the last several months, he’d become a pessimist. He felt the bulk of everyone’s expectations grinding his natural optimism into little smatterings of dirt that could hardly fill a dustpan. His father’s death, his brother’s withdrawal, Lu’s departure to London, his mother’s grief, Willa’s rejection. It had all beaten him down.

  Now, on the threshold of a breakthrough with Willa, he felt fear. And it pulled at the fabric of his confidence. How could he make it OK with her? Because he knew if he made it work with Willa, the rest of it would fade to the screensaver of his life, there but not forever present. Before he could form a plan or calculate what to say, the door to the bathroom opened.

  Willa walked out, face scrubbed, shorts and tank top on. She knew he was there, so she took a few steps into the room and sat on the edge of the bed, perpendicular to him. Not facing him but not looking away.

  “Lu OK?” she asked.

  “I don’t know. I left her in Sky’s care.”

  She nodded her head, acknowledging that. “Can I be nosy?”

  He glanced at her. “O … K,” he said, slowly.

  Willa didn’t fluster—ever. So to see her seem nervous, even embarrassed, intrigued him.

  “What was the text you got at the bar?”

  Looking confused, Pete pulled his phone out his back pocket. Looking at his messages, he balked. He so didn’t want to talk about this now. Knowing where this was going to go, he put his phone on the table next to him and got up to put himself directly in front of her.

  “I don’t want to talk about the text,” he said, then he took her hands gently and pulled her up. With their hands interlocked, he stepped closer to her so that the tips of their toes were touching. Easing his hands out of hers, he placed them on her hip bones, fingers on her back and thumbs in front. He pulled her closer. “I don’t want to talk about the text, Will, because I’ve been waiting virtually my whole life to be with you.” He kissed her briefly but hard, so she’d know he’d been there. Then he released her hips and brought both of his hands up to her face. Her blue eyes stared at him, the inner battle reflected there. Ugh, he thought, she wants to know.

  Gently laying his forehead against hers, he closed his eyes. “It was Lex. He wanted me to make sure that Lu got home OK.”

  He felt her eyes fly open and her draw back, not away, but back. “How did Lex know that Lu needed to get home OK?”

  Dropping his hands, Pete stepped all the way back. “Best guess? Lu was drunk texting him.”

  “What?!” she said, shattering the gentle din of the conversation.

  Pete rubbed his hands over his face. “It’s always going to be like this, isn’t it?” he said, resigned.

  Willa had never been a fairy-tale kind of girl. If she let herself remember, she’d note that Lu hadn’t been one either. They’d both kind of scoffed at the princess-waiting-to-be-rescued-by-her-prince genre. And that attitude had everything to do with their mother. You’d have thought their mother was a radical lesbian rather than a married mother of two girls. Her views on feminism and women’s roles didn’t include mothers’ sacrificing their careers for their children. As an adult, knowing Amber’s views, Willa had to admit that she was sometimes surprised that she and her sister had been born. Standing in front of Pete, Willa thought of all of this and knew that she had been throwing Lex and Lu’s situation in between her and Pete. Perhaps she could blame it on fear of giving up any piece of herself for a man. Or maybe, after twenty-eight years, she wasn’t sure how to give up anything for anyone.

  Willa had always been the eat-’em-up-and-spit-’em-out girl. She’d spent some time thinking about what Lu had said to her during her visit. She could admit that Lu’s experience had dictated her course, because at nineteen Willa knew there was no way any man was going to leave her loving him more than he loved her. At the funeral, she’d imagined spending a couple of nights with Pete and moving forward. Maybe if she had simply explained that she
just wanted to fuck him, this would have all been so much easier.

  When Willa overheard his conversation with Lu, though, she felt herself fall. There was no other way to describe it. It was as if the earth all around her had crumbled away, but she managed to remain right where she was in this more amazing place. And that had scared the shit out of her.

  Looking at Pete now, she could see the exasperation in his eyes. In all her memories of Pete, she didn’t have any with him wearing the expression currently adhered to his face. He was all patience, understanding, and optimism. He saw the fertile ground under the dog shit she saw. For Pete, this wouldn’t be quick and easy—it would be long, passionate, and easy. And although she didn’t want to think about the consequences, she didn’t think their families could handle any more trauma. But she was tired of thinking about things. His hands drifted to his side, and while he studied her he started to slowly shake his head as if he was trying to talk himself out of something. All Willa could think was Fuck it.

  Her hands crossed in front of her. Grabbing the bottom of her tank top, she pulled it over her head. Pete tried—she could tell he was trying to keep his eyes glued to hers—but they slipped and took in the view. While he did that, she pushed her shorts down and let them pool at her ankles. Stepping over them, she walked over to Pete and placed her arms around his neck, clasping her hands in back. She left some space between them. She needed him to give.

  “I don’t think we have anything else to talk about,” she said.

  Pulling her to him, he smiled—one of those smiles that lit the room and she felt down to her toes. “I don’t think I can do much talking with you naked,” he quipped.

  “Moaning?” she asked impishly.

  “Hmm, yes, let’s see about moaning,” he said as he kissed his way down her neck and pulled her more snugly against him.

  Her giggle quickly turned into a moan as he nipped at her neck.

  “I think I won that round,” he teased, pushing her back toward the bed until she hit it.