Three Hundred Words

by Cross, Adelaide

  The other girls had already set up their towels and were sunbathing, headphones plugged in and eyes shut. Mr. Lane was sat, in a t-shirt and shorts, a few metres away. I lamented and shared a disappointed expression with Millie. There was still time.

  I peeled off my sundress, still stood up, and Mr. Lane stared outright. I really tried to keep my expression under control, sitting down and reaching my arms behind my head without giving him a second glance.

  It was probably a good thing he was wearing his shorts judging by glint I’d seen in his eyes.

  Millie had done the same and I didn’t check to see whether he’d ogled her, too. I wouldn’t have blamed him for doing.

  “Well, I feel like he owes us to strip off after watching that. He couldn’t get enough of you.”

  I rolled my eyes. “I’m sure. We’ll just have to bide our time, he’s bound to want to go swimming eventually.” Doing this was fun. Getting to admit that I fancied him without any of the angst that would have come with discussing our actual relationship. Millie was nice and I had fun with her. Emma would have liked her, too.

  I managed to relax after that, my body getting used to the temperature and my music sending me into a sleepy daze. I hadn’t realised how much I apparently needed a beach holiday. I wished I’d brought a book with me – now was the perfect time to get lost in someone else’s story.

  After an hour, the sea was calling to me. I’d never been somewhere on the Mediterranean before and I was dying to know whether it was as pleasant as people claimed. The cold English seas weren’t much to write home about.

  Only when I sat up, I realised Mr. Lane had just started walking towards the water, shirtless. I jabbed Millie in the side. It was almost showing off to her, even if she didn’t realise he was mine.

  She made a noise of approval. “Better than I expected.”

  “Yeah, I’m definitely a fan of that. You don’t think it looks weird if I go and swim now, do you? I really was just about to.”

  “Nah. He’s the only teacher here, anyway, so it wouldn’t matter if it did, would it?” Our coach was absent, probably sorting something actually related to the tournament.

  “That’s good enough for me.” I stood up and brushed off the sand which had inevitably covered some of my skin. I might have felt self-conscious wearing this before, but Mr. Lane worshipped my body so much that it made it difficult not to feel confident in myself.

  The tide was in, so it wasn’t a very long walk down to the waves. When I got half way there, Mr. Lane submerged himself in the water and began to swim. After a few moments he stopped and treaded water, watching my approach to the water. My body became flushed under his gaze and I found myself glancing over my shoulder, checking we were far enough away that people couldn’t pick out the expressions on our faces. They definitely wouldn’t be able to hear us talk.

  “It’s warm,” Mr. Lane assured me as I approached the edge of the sea, tiny waves brushing against the golden shore. “Although I’m quite happy for you to stay standing with your boobs out of the water.”

  I grinned, dipping in my toe. “Wow, that’s so weird. The sea has only ever been cold for me.”

  “I’ve been to the Mediterranean before. I love it. Come on, get into the water so I can talk to you properly.” He was doing the quietest shout possible now and I was struggling to hear a few of his words.

  I strolled in easily, welcoming the warm water lapping against my bare skin. It wasn’t boiling, just a comfortable temperature that didn’t make you flinch like the Atlantic did. I kicked off into breast stroke when I got to my hips and made sure to stay a reasonable distance from Mr. Lane. As much as I wanted his fingers on my body, our figures were easily visible from where my teammates were sitting. “It’s really good.”

  Our conversation stopped for a moment so that we could both do some actual swimming, but I didn’t go very far out. I loved swimming in the sea, but I always got a little bit nervous when I got to the point where I couldn’t stand up. I’d heard far too many horror stories about strong currents.

  When I started to worry that I was going to wear out my muscles before the competition started, I swam back to somewhere I could just stand up. The lack of seaweed was definitely my favourite thing about this beach. I knew it was harmless, but I was completely squeamish about it touching my feet.

  Mr. Lane stopped as well, a fair distance away so it didn’t look suspicious. “I wish we could spend more time together.”

  There’d only been a week between the national and commonwealth tournaments, so we’d definitely not spoken outside of school time. “Me too. It sucks, but I really have been busy practising this week. Coach even got us out of some lessons to make us practise more.”

  “That’s true. Maybe there’ll be some room for celebration sex when this tournament is over. I’ve always fancied having sex in the sea.”

  My cheeks burned, even though we both knew it was an impossible thing. The image alone of Mr. Lane’s hands encasing me right now was more than enough to get me riled up. “That would definitely be nice.” Even if it couldn’t happen this time – maybe there’d be some time in the future when a summer holiday and sea sex was on the cards.

  “How is everything with you?” It had to be asked eventually. Mr. Lane was looking out for me and that was enough to counteract the sadness of the topic.

  “My dad’s moving out,” I averted my gaze. “I didn’t ask where he’s going. I’m kind of assuming he’s moving in with that girl he’s been sleeping with, but I’ve really got no idea. He’s carrying on paying the mortgage on our house because my mum can’t afford it.”

  “That’s good of him, letting you have the house.”

  “I don’t know enough about divorce law to know whether he’s getting a good deal doing it that way or not. It works for my mum, anyway, so I guess that’s really all that matters.”

  “And you’re holding up all right? Even if you can’t see me, you can always ring me or Skype me you know. I’m around most of the time. Even just text me or something.”

  I’d been avoiding it. I didn’t want to get on his nerves. Mr. Lane didn’t seem to have any problems and I was always burdening him with mine. I didn’t want to become a whiny child he was having to deal with.

  This conversation reassured me slightly. “Okay, I will do.”

  “And how are you feeling about the final?”

  “I’m really just glad to be here. I don’t have high hopes, obviously, but even getting to this kind of thing is insane, right?”

  “It definitely is. I’ve never worked at a school that’s achieved much of anything sporting wise. This is very insane.”

  We grinned at each other and my stomach tightened. “I’m glad you volunteered to be our chaperone. It wouldn’t have been anywhere near as fun without you. I probably wouldn’t have even gotten through the last tournament.”

  “Any time. I’m glad I’ve come, too. Your badminton outfit is my favourite thing.”

  It was when I noticed the other girls getting up and making their own way to the water that I swam off, firing him one more seductive look before I went.

  When summer came, we were going to have so much fun.

  Chapter Eleven

  Emma was positively buzzing when I skyped with her that evening. “You won’t believe what I did today.”

  I raised an eyebrow, crossing my legs and pulling my jumper down over them. It was kind of chilly outside by this time. “Tell me.”

  “I went on a date with the guy I was telling you about! It was so great, and he’s so nice, and we had this cute little kiss when he walked me home.”

  I resisted the urge to joke that she should have been the one walking him home. I really couldn’t afford to comment on age gaps. “That’s really great. Where did you go?”

  “Just to some amateur gymnastic competition, but it was honestly the cutest thing.” She practically squeaked and I had to laugh. Emma had never had a relationship before – I never knew it
was going to be so adorable when it did happen.

  “That’s nice. I’m really happy for you.”

  She grinned so wide her cheeks must have hurt. “And so how are you and Mr. Lane?” She waggled her eyebrows with a smirk and I glared.

  “Shut up, I’m sat like in the hotel gardens, I can’t talk about it. But… pretty good.” I shot her my own smile. For the first time, I was genuinely happy in my relationship and I’d told Emma all about it, probably far more than she cared to hear about. “Has anything else been happening back there?”

  Emma paused, obviously debating something. I narrowed my eyes at her. Whatever she was considering not telling me, I’d rather just have it out there. “Well… I ran into your dad the other day. Well, he didn’t know I was there, but I just kind of was.”

  My face fell and so did Emma’s. “And what exactly was he doing?”

  “Look, I may have heard wrong or something, but they were out having coffee and I was sitting in the booth behind them so I really don’t think I did. She’s pregnant, that girl he’s with.”

  I didn’t know what to say. “What the fuck,” was just about all I could manage. “He’s nearly fifty.”

  Emma shrugged helplessly. “I had to tell you, I’m sorry. Maybe I misunderstood something, you’ll have to ask him.”

  “I don’t want to speak to him. My parents aren’t even divorced yet.”

  “I know you’re angry, I don’t blame you for being. Hopefully it’ll all settle down soon.”

  “I’m not sure I can even afford to be angry, can you? I’m a mess, about everything.” I wanted to scream. It was so conflicting, wanting to be angry and hurt and hating myself all at once. I couldn’t deal with it. “I think I’m going to go, but I’ll talk to you tomorrow. Thanks for telling me.”

  “Wait-” I cut her off, turning off my phone just to make sure I wouldn’t have to talk to anyone for the rest of the night, and started off on a stroll across the beach. There was a harbour in the distance that looked like it might be cool. The sea looked fantastic in the dark and there were even less lights over there.

  A nice walk in the now relatively cool weather was definitely what I needed.

  I wrapped my arms around my middle and tried to imagine myself meeting his new girlfriend, holding his new baby. The thought made me sick. My dad had been a dick, but if my parents had both been single, I could have maybe dealt with it. Instead, he was moving straight on to a new woman and I loathed that.

  It was exactly what I’d done with Mr. Lane and I felt like I couldn’t afford to judge anything.

  But I was still so horribly angry about it all.

  I stamped my feet harder as I walked and wished it would all just go away.

  Someone fell into step with me when I was halfway to the harbour and I scowled. “What are you doing? Someone might see you.”

  “It was actually just a coincidence. I was walking back along the beach when I saw you. I probably shouldn’t allow you to walk around a foreign country unescorted, anyway. Where are you headed?”

  “To the harbour.” I really struggled to respond to him. When I was in this mood, talking to Mr. Lane was the last thing I wanted to do. My relationship with him made everything so much harder – how could I stay mad at my dad without hating everything I’d done, too. And hating that meant regretting being with Mr. Lane.

  “What’s happened?”

  “My dad’s new girlfriend is pregnant, apparently.”

  Mr. Lane was silent for a moment. “Oh, right. I’m sorry.”

  “It’s fine. I’m sure I’ll get over it eventually.” That was a bit of an overstatement, but I didn’t have the momentum to say anything else. I wanted to kill the conversation before Mr. Lane started trying to offer me comfort, or tell me that everything was going to be fine.

  “I’m sure you will, but if there’s anything I can do to help now, just let me know.”

  I nodded once, picking up my pace as we approached the harbour. It was just as beautiful as I’d suspected. There was a hotel right next to it, but the lights weren’t that bright – they actually made it prettier, reflecting off the black sea. I walked, right beside the wall so I could always be looking over.

  “Are you sure you don’t want to talk about it?”

  “You don’t want to hear about it,” I dismissed, regretting my words immediately. They were bitchy and unnecessary and it wasn’t even what I’d really meant. “I mean, no, I really don’t. There’s nothing to say.”

  “Clearly there is.” We came to a standstill and I stood on my tiptoes to get a good view across the ocean. Part of me hoped it would rain whilst we were here, swimming in the rain was probably a lot of fun. Mr. Lane rested a hand on my lower back and I sighed.

  I really didn’t want to.

  “I can’t hate him, can I? After what I did?”

  It must have been obvious what I’d been thinking, but Mr. Lane still didn’t have an answer for me. “Of course you can hate him, if that’s what you feel. You can’t stop your emotions, Lily.”

  That wasn’t really the answer I’d wanted. “I don’t have the right to hate him, then. I basically did exactly the same as what he’s done. I should be empathising with him or something, not wanting to shout in his face for hurting my mum like that. I did that to Luke.”

  “I don’t think you hate him, anyway. He’s still your dad. You’re just angry at him, like you were angry at yourself. Of course you can forgive him eventually and you have the right to feel whatever you want. Have you forgiven yourself, for cheating?”

  “Of course not. I did the worst thing someone can do in a relationship. I don’t know if I’ll ever forgive myself for it.”

  Mr. Lane pondered this with a frown. “Do you think it’s going to affect our relationship?”

  I’d dealt with Millie admiring him today with a pang of jealousy, but jokes on my lips. I didn’t know what I’d do if Mr. Lane was actually talking and laughing with a woman, though. Nothing, I hoped. A little bit of jealousy was probably natural, but the paranoia I dreaded wasn’t. “I don’t know. I hope not. Don’t you think you’d worry that I’d do it again? To you?”

  Mr. Lane shrugged, averting his eyes uncomfortably. “I can’t say that I wouldn’t ever think about it, but I don’t think it would make our relationship bad, or unbearable or anything. It’s just something we’d have to deal with, right? Everyone has to deal with some problems.”

  That was probably far more optimistic than either of us were feeling, but I nodded. “And I’m sure we will.”

  Mr. Lane was pushing his luck again, wrapping his arms around me from behind and pressing a kiss to the back of my head. “I really like you, so I’m willing to go the distance to make sure our summer is as good as possible.”

  I grinned, sinking back into his grip with a small smile. I didn’t know how he managed this, to calm me down so completely. “Me too.”

  “Lily! You stop that right now, young lady, you, you-”

  I jerked back at the sound of my mother’s voice, shoving Mr. Lane so hard he almost fell over. He turned around in the darkness, hoping that by some miracle she hadn’t seen his face. It was no use. “What are you doing, mum?”

  She’s dragged him back around to stare into his face, anger burning all over her expression. “You piece of shit,” she jabbed in the chest with a quivering finger. “Using my daughter. Get out of my sight, right now, and start looking for another job. When we’re off this stupid island you’re going to be in a world of shit.”

  The tears had already gathered in my eyes as I watched Mr. Lane leave. There was no point in stopping him. I had to be the one to sway my mother that this wasn’t what it looked like. “Mum, please,” I scrunched my fists into my jumper so tight I heard a stitch rip. “He isn’t using me at all. You have to let me explain.”

  “There is nothing to explain Lily. He’s your teacher, he’s supposed to be looking after you, there’s a reason he’d get fired for it.” She was shaking too,
her own tears streaming down her face as she tried to maintain eye contact. “He’s taking advantage of you.”

  “No, he isn’t. I just really like him, it’s just unfortunate that he’s my teacher. If he wasn’t teaching me there wouldn’t be a single problem, how is that fair?” My voice caught on the last word, and I dipped my gaze.

  He was going to be fired, because of me. Because I’d been selfish enough to require his company tonight. A sob gathered in my chest and struggled, desperately, to keep it down.

  “I’m sorry, but I have to tell the head teacher about this. It’s unacceptable and it’s wrong. He must be ten years older than you, you can’t see him again.”