Fifteen Going on Grown Up

by Stephanie M. Turner

  “He wants to see me now.”

  She stated.

  “But?”

  Mum replied.

  “Mum, I don’t know what I’m going to say to him, or even how to react when I see him.”

  Hally said tears beginning to flow down her cheeks. Mum pulled her into a hug and said.

  “Baby, first you need to be sure that you do want to see him now. The rest you will discover when you do.”

  Hally clung to her mum, quietly sobbing.

  “Do…you… think I should see him?”

  She asked hoping her mum would be able to tell her what to do as she was so unsure.

  “Well, it might be best to get it all sorted out now. You know waiting could just make it harder.”

  Hally nodded into her mum’s shoulder still holding on tightly. There was a bang from behind and both looked up to see Nathan rubbing his elbow.

  “Ouch! Who put that chair there?”

  He exclaimed sulkily. Hally stood back a little ready to let her mother tend to her brother, but mum didn’t let go immediately. Instead she turned her head and said to her son.

  “It has always been there Nathan. You need to be a bit more careful or you’re going to really hurt yourself.”

  Holding out his arm Nathan screwed up his face and looked at mum with wide eyes. Then in his sweetest voice he said.

  “Mummy could you rub it please? It really hurts.”

  Hally’s heart melted, her own problems pushed aside for a moment. Before mum could respond to Nathan Hally moved to her brother and knelt down.

  “Come here Natty, let me rub it.”

  Nathan wasn’t particular about whose attention he was getting so long as someone eased the bump on his elbow, so he leaned into Hally and let her look at the spot where it hurt. A small red mark had appeared that would most likely become a bruise later and Hally gently moved her thumb across it. It only took a few seconds before Nathan was happy again.

  “Sbetter.”

  He beamed hopping onto a chair to wait for his breakfast. Hally’s phone went off again and she saw another one word message.

  well

  Mum raised her eyebrows questioningly. Hally tapped in ‘ok’ and pressed send.

  “I’ve said ok. Do you think that’s right?”

  Mum nodded as she placed a glass of juice in front of Nathan who took no notice of his sister’s and mum’s conversation. Food was the only thing on his mind.

  Wes arrived in record time. Hally was still in her nightwear and both her parents were now in the kitchen. Dad wasn’t too keen on Wes coming round but didn’t voice his opinion too strongly. In his heart he knew Hally had to get a full explanation, but he was very angry with Wes for hurting his daughter. He felt like Wes had betrayed his entire family as they were all very fond of him. It was like a slap in the face. Whilst Hally had gone to the bathroom, mum had told her husband that she felt the same, but that they had to try and stay out of it, that Hally would let them know if she wanted them to get more involved. Reluctantly dad agreed and so he sat quietly when Wes arrived.

  As usual Wes came to the back door and mum let him in. He looked embarrassed and very nervous as he said hello. Mum tried a small smile but dad just nodded without speaking. Hally gave him a pained look and indicated he follow her to the lounge. As they entered the room, Wes tried to put his arms around her but she moved away from him and sat in an armchair. Never before had they sat in the room on separate seats. Wes lowered his arms and his head and dejectedly dropped onto the sofa.

  “Would you sit with me?”

  He asked in a voice that trembled. Hally felt her heart pound but resolved to keep her distance. She didn’t want his charm and strong loving arms to cloud what was inevitably going to be a difficult time, so she shook her head. Wes sighed deeply. Hally sat looking straight at him and was finally able to speak.

  “So how is Ellie?”

  Was all she could say. Wes looked up and replied, his voice still wobbly.

  “She’s out of danger. It wasn’t meningitis, luckily, but she does have a serious virus, so they’re keeping her in. Her temperature has dropped a bit but it’s not back to normal yet. Mum and dad are still at the hospital.”

  Hally felt a degree of strength begin inside and when she spoke her voice was clear and steady.

  “So, shouldn’t you be there too then?”

  Wes placed his hands over his face and then Hally noticed his shoulders were shaking. Then she heard him sobbing and suddenly his whole body was shaking uncontrollably. Hally couldn’t leave him by himself. All the times he had held her through so many painful times, been there to comfort and protect her. Now, whatever happened in their future, she still loved him and he needed her comfort. Quietly she moved to the sofa and sat next to him, pulling him to her. He came without resistance and leaned into her, wrapping his arms tightly around her. She held him as he cried stroking his hair and letting it slide through her fingers.

  Some time went by as they sat in silence, Wes crying in Hally’s arms. Gradually his sobs began to subside and his shaking steadied. He clung to Hally as though he were drowning at sea and she was his life preserver as his tears eased and lessened to occasional sobs. Finally Hally shifted her weight and Wes sat up a little straighter. Hally reached for the box of tissues that was on a nearby side table and handed them to him. Wes pulled a wad from the box and held them to his red and puffy face. He tried not to look at Hally, embarrassment evident in his eyes. She saw his discomfort and spoke for the first time in what seemed like hours.

  “It’s ok to cry Wes.”

  Wes could only nod, his breath coming in odd little gasps as his body recovered from the long spell of tears.

  “I’ll get you some water.”

  She told him standing. He held her hand and shook his head so she lowered herself back to the sofa.

  “It’s..I’m..don’t…go”

  He stuttered. He pressed more tissues to his face and then took a very deep breath.

  “Hally you must hate me.”

  He managed quite clearly. Hally shook her head but he still had his face covered and couldn’t see her. So she said

  “I don’t hate you Wes. I’m hurt and confused and very angry and I don’t know what to say, but I don’t hate you.”

  Wes screwed the tissues into a ball in his hand and looked at her with eyes still gleaming with unshed tears.

  “I so wanted to tell you. A long time ago, but I just couldn’t. I just kept thinking one day soon. Stupidly imagining that you would just smile your beautiful smile and tell me it was fine, so what if I had a daughter? It wouldn’t affect our relationship. God how dumb could I be? I mean of course it would be a shock no matter when I told you. But I had hoped to break it to you in a way that perhaps wouldn’t freak you out and then you would get used to it.”

  Wes was squeezing the ball of tissues in his hand. Hally placed her own hand over his and stilled the fidgeting.

  “Tell me everything now please?”

  She whispered gently. Wes took another deep breath, leaned back against the cushions and closed his eyes for a moment. Then he looked at her and began.

  “I was just sixteen, so was my girlfriend. She was a bit older than me.”

  Wes paused, already struggling to explain. Hally shifted on the sofa.

  “Look, I’m going to get us some drinks and tell my parents that we are going to need some time, ok? So you stay here (she held out her hand) and give me those tissues, and work out how you are going to tell me.”

  Without waiting for a reply Hally stood up and left the room. Mum and dad were still in the kitchen and looked up expectantly when she came in.

  “I’m ok. I’m just getting us some coffee, I’ll tell you everything later. Wes is pretty upset and we have only just got started. I think it’s going to take quite a while.”

  Hally told them busying herself with mugs and coffee. Dad frowned.

  “Huh…he’s upset…”

  “
Colin, leave them to it.”

  Mum told him gently and he didn’t say anymore. Hally gave her father a desperate look and seeing the strain on his daughter’s face he came over and kissed her cheek.

  “Ok angel. I won’t say another word. We will just be here if you need us.”

  Hally smiled gratefully at her dad and poured hot water into the mugs, then carrying them carefully she returned to the lounge.

  Wes was again leaning back against the cushions with his eyes closed. He looked worn out, the puffiness around his eyes mixed with dark circles from lack of sleep made him look ill. Hally set the mugs down and he opened his eyes and gave her a little smile. Tucking her feet under her, Hally sat next to him waiting for him to begin what she knew was going to be long story. Wes reached for his coffee but changed his mind, not wanting even the simple act of drinking to delay what he had to tell her. So instead he turned to face her and began.

  “We had been going out for a long time. I was only thirteen when we first met. She had moved and just started at my school. Like you said before, I was part of the popular crowd and this girl, Sophie, was gorgeous and slotted right in with the popular girls.”

  Hally felt fear grip her heart. This girl was everything she despised in a girl, someone she just knew was vain, could get any boy she wanted and would dump when she’d had enough. She hated her without even knowing her for she had captured Wes’ heart, taken everything she could from him and left him. How could he ever feel like that about her? However she didn’t voice any of this as he continued.

  “All the way through we had an on/off relationship. She kept getting all stroppy if I even spoke to another girl yet she was ok with flirting with any and all the guys. I broke up with her a few times but she would come crying back with how sorry she was and how much she loved me. I was a sucker and head over heels and couldn’t see how manipulative she was.”

  Hally sighed, feeling a little sorry for the young Wes. She had seen the popular girls at school do exactly the same to boys. Dana and Penny and their crowd had especially been like that in years eight and nine, now things were very different. Wes continued.

  “Of course at that age we couldn’t really go out. I mean we went to the cinema and cafés and hung out in the parks with our crowd. Mostly we spent time at either my house or hers. Her parents were a bit strange, they didn’t have a lot to do with her but they spoilt her. She had an older brother but he was out most of the time. When they had her they were over the moon at getting a girl but seemed to just ply her with stuff and not love.”

  Hally gave him a scathing look.

  “I’m not defending her, really, I’m just telling you what it was like.”

  Hally relaxed a little.

  “Sorry.”

  She said sheepishly. Wes gave her a smile that melted her heart but didn’t let him see this in her expression.

  “She had new clothes all of the time, not like Corrinne does, I mean she demanded them. And she had to have matching shoes and bag with every outfit. She had really expensive makeup and used to get her nails done at a fancy nail place and her hair done at the top salon in Oxford. Honestly, I don’t know why I put up with it all. I didn’t have loads of money yet she would always expect me to pay when we went out. One time I bought her this perfume for her birthday, and she looked at the box and didn’t even open it because it wasn’t the latest celebrity perfume. That was one time I broke up with her. Then she came sobbing back saying she was so sorry and the present was lovely. I stupidly took her back, but you know, she never did open that perfume.”

  Wes sighed then picked up his mug of coffee, sipped it but put it down as it had gone cold.

  “Do you want some fresh?”

  He shook his head, not wanting anything to interrupt them

  “Well when she was at my house she was all sweet and lightness. I’ve always had a good relationship with my parents and we can talk quite openly, but well, I was a young teenager with a big ego. I didn’t want to tell my parents or let them see how she treated me. Do you understand Hally?”

  She thought she could see his point. It must have been hard for a boy like him, popular with the crowd, probably the dominant one of his peers, feeling used and manipulated by his girlfriend. How could he tell his parents otherwise? So she nodded that she did understand and he carried on.

  “Well they thought she was wonderful. She would come in and give my mum a hug, make dad a cup of tea and chat about all sorts. She never showed her shallowness ever, when my parents were around. I don’t know if it was deliberate or whether she just enjoyed the attention she got from them, (a sad frown crossed his face and he paused) I think maybe it was deliberate, but still I stayed with her.”

  Wes took a deep breath and took Hally’s hand raising it to his lips and kissing it lightly. She didn’t resist this time.

  “Go on.”

  She encouraged. She already had a million questions but they could wait.

  “Well I suppose being with her became a habit. Some of our friends had paired up, her new best friend had got together with my closest mate, so we kind of drifted through the next couple of years. She was very forward and pushy, always going on about how sexy she looked and how so many lads gave her ‘come on’ looks where ever she went. I wasn’t comfortable with the whole sex stuff. I mean, you know we did stuff, touching and kissing, but I wasn’t ready to go the whole way. She used to take the mickey out of me, she even told her friend once that I couldn’t get it up ”

  Wes blushed with embarrassment and humiliation and Hally felt a powerful surge of pure hatred for the girl who had stolen his heart and then destroyed it. She took both his hands and squeezed them tightly.

  “Oh Wes. That’s just so horrible. How could anyone do that?”

  Wes gave her a loving smile and shrugged.

  “Well, again stupid idiot me just let it go. But it got to me so I started getting a bit more, you know close. We got near to going all the way a few times, but it was difficult. It was always at her house and her parents were always home. Then it was my birthday, she was already sixteen. We had been out, a whole group of us. We had been to a pizza place then the park for a bit, but it was too cold to stay out for long. So me and her, we went back to her house and for once her mum and dad were out. She started snogging me as soon as we got in the door and putting her hands down my jeans. I got… well I don’t have to tell you what I got…but we ended up on the lounge floor. She took off her jeans and underwear and pulled me on top of her. I didn’t even get my own jeans off, she tugged them down and without even thinking it happened.”

  Wes took his hands out of Hally’s and covered his face, tears dripping between his fingers. Hally sat motionless unable to give him comfort for she didn’t know what he was crying for at that point.

  “Wes…what is it?”

  With his face still covered he mumbled through his sobs.

  “It was awful. It was over and done with in an instant. We had barely started when I… well you know…came…”

  The last word was little more than a whisper, but he carried on.

  “Sophie started laughing. ‘What was that?’ she asked me. I couldn’t look at her. but I managed to ask her what she meant. She laughed again and told me it was feeble and couldn’t I have just waited a bit. I didn’t know what to say. I managed to get up and pull my jeans up without having to look at her. She got dressed and stood up looking in the mirror, fluffing her hair and wiping at her smudged makeup. Without even looking at me she told me it had been a waste of time. I had been so quick that she hadn’t even had time to get properly worked up herself. I tried to apologise but she put her hand up in front of me. I won’t ever forget what she said then and how she said it.”

  Wes stopped, took his hands from his face and with tears glistening on his cheeks faced Hally and said.

  “She said. ‘Wesley you are such a loser.’ Just like that with a look of distaste on her face, then ‘You better get yourself sorted. That was the
worst sex I have ever had.’ I just stood there. It took a few seconds for it to sink in. When had she done it before. I somehow managed to ask that and she gave me such a contemptuous look and told me it was the times we broke up. At first that didn’t register, when we broke up it was like two or three days at a time, and then it did sink in. She had said times, not just once before and my mind sort of went into turbo speed, we had broken up several times so did that mean she had been with someone else every time?”

  Wes’ pain and humiliation was tangible to Hally. She unfolded her feet and stood up repositioning herself on his lap. He wrapped his arms around her and held her like his life depended on it. She held his head in her hands and kissed the top of his head. Anger and hatred for Sophie filling her soul.

  “You don’t have to tell me anymore right now.”

  She whispered to him. He pulled back and looked into her face.

  “Yes I do. I need you to know everything.”

  Hally nodded and let him continue.

  “I knew then that it had to be over. All the times she had been a bitch and we had broken up I had let her come back to me. But this was too much. Not only did I realise what a really nasty person she was; but finding out that she had cheated on me many times was the limit. I mean I know we technically broke up, but to me it was still cheating. So, at first I couldn’t speak. Then I got angry and told her I never wanted to see her again. I told her she was an evil bitch and that it wouldn’t do her any good to come running back this time because it was over. Do you know what she did?”

  Wes asked Hally indignantly. Hally shook her head and Wes continued.

  “She had the absolute nerve to turn away from me and say ‘Whatever’. I stormed out of her house and walked and walked until I was so cold and tired. I finally went home and when I got there my parents were waiting. Mum gave me a worried look and asked where I had been. I was confused ‘cos I wasn’t late in but then she told me Sophie had phoned in floods of tears. She told my parents we had a row and I had stormed out. That she didn’t really know what it was about, something little that she’d said and I over-reacted to. I was actually lost for words. Mum made me a hot drink and asked me to tell her about it. Finally I knew I could talk to her about all of it, to both of them. So we sat down and I poured out everything. It was really difficult, especially about the sex stuff, but they listened without comment until I finished. They were both stunned. Sophie had duped all of us and they were hurt too. They blamed themselves for being so taken in, but I managed to convince them it wasn’t their fault. They both hugged me and told me they would help me as much as possible to get through it.”