Broken

by Lisa Edward

  “Shh, it’s all right.”

  But I couldn’t stop. I had fallen in love with him a little more with every passing day, and every day I had dreaded the end as it came barreling in front of us. And now it was here and it felt as if my heart were being squeezed so tight, the weight of it was crushing me.

  Adam kissed my hair over and over, cooing softly until my tears eventually ceased and my breathing evened out.

  “You can take the jeans, baby. When we see each other again, and we will see each other again, I’ll expect a hole to be cut out of the front as well.”

  I laughed, sniffing back my last stray tear. Somehow Adam always knew exactly what to say to make me feel better. Yes, we would see each other again, because I would make him promise, and come hell or high water, I would not let him break that promise.

  Adam was desperate to get me out of the house, so he asked if I could do a quick check of the cottage he had rented, but not spent much time at. That opportunity was too good to pass up. I had hardly been a few feet inside the doorway, so to have the chance for a good look around had me shrugging on my coat and holding my hand out for the keys.

  As soon as I opened the door, I could smell that it hadn’t been lived in for a while. It needed some fresh air to circulate, so I left the door open while I did a sweep through of each room to check for clothes or any other personal belongings. There wasn’t much left in the house, all of Adam’s things having been brought straight back to my place when we reconciled, still in the box I had packed them in. But a quick glance through the drawers in the bedroom revealed a few very personal things had been left behind.

  Holding what looked to be a journal in my hand, I slowly sat on the edge of the bed. It was wrong to read it, I knew that, but the temptation was overwhelming, so I opened to the first page to read the dates inside. It had a start and end date, the latter being three weeks ago, clearly indicating that this volume was full and perhaps another had been started. How had I not seen Adam writing in a journal? Perhaps he hadn’t started another, but the worn edges of the pages gave me the feeling that this was something he did every day, or at least when he had something worth diarizing.

  I wondered what he had written about me, if anything at all. Had he noted the first day we’d met, eight weeks ago? Had he mentioned his trip to Philadelphia a few weeks later or Annabel’s visit to the Hamptons?

  It would have been so easy to flick to those pages. It also would have been an invasion of privacy, and it wasn’t the type of relationship I wanted to have with Adam. If he wanted to share his thoughts and feelings with me, he would, either by telling me or letting me read about them when he felt comfortable to share.

  By the time I had completed my tour of the house, I had collected a few toiletries, an old pair of shoes, and the unread journal.

  “Back already?” Adam was in the kitchen, slicing and dicing as he hummed away to the music playing on the iPod.

  “Yep, wasn’t much there. You really did move in here, didn’t ya?”

  He chuckled. “I guess I did. It wasn’t intentional, I promise. I just couldn’t keep away.” He raised his eyes to see what I was carrying. “What did you find?” Wiping his hands, he came over.

  “Not much, but this looks pretty important.” I held up the journal.

  His face dropped as he took it from my hand, a little too quickly. “You didn’t…” He shoved it in his back pocket. “No, of course you didn’t. Did you?”

  Shaking my head, I placed my hand on his shoulder, reassuringly. “No, babe, I didn’t read your journal,” I said with a smile. “I reckon you’ll tell me all your deep dark secrets when you’re ready.”

  He physically slumped as he let out the breath he’d been holding, and I wondered if maybe I should have flicked through the journal. Whatever was in there must have been more than his gym schedule and grocery list.

  “Well, I’m still not ready for you.”

  Max stirred, wagging his tail by the door to be let out.

  “Would you mind taking Max for a walk?”

  “Are you gonna give me any clues on what you’re preparin’?”

  He laughed as he took my hand and led me to the sofa. “First thing is bubbles. Second is a massage by the fire, only this time I’m guessing you won’t be embarrassed to get undressed. Third is I’m going to take my time with you and savor every inch of your body.”

  I took Max for a quick walk to the rocks, but my mind was back at the house with Adam. He had something special planned, and I was sure it would be an evening to remember. He had said bubbles, which could only mean one thing—champagne. I gave myself a little talking to and vowed not to drink too much. My track record with alcohol was pitiful. No, tonight was our special night together, and I was determined to remember it, every spine-tingling, orgasm-inducing moment.

  Max was having a great time barking and chasing the seagulls in the water’s edge, so I hunkered into my coat and pulled my beanie down to my eyebrows. What would happen to Max while Adam was away? If I had a house and garden, I would offer to take care of him. After all, I was like his surrogate mother, with all the time we’d spent together. But this wasn’t the first time Adam had gone back to England, so he must have a standing arrangement for Max. I just hoped he wasn’t being left with Annabel.

  I jiggled my legs to keep warm and because I was growing impatient. How much longer did Adam need to pour a glass or two of champagne?

  Checking my watch, I realized I’d only been gone fifteen minutes. Fifteen minutes that felt like an hour.

  “Come on, Maxie, let’s walk a bit farther.”

  Max came straightaway.

  “Oh, you’re such a good boy,” I said with a pat on his head.

  He shook, spraying water droplets over my legs.

  “Not such a good boy now,” I grumbled.

  Treading carefully, we climbed over and around the rocks until we came to a little alcove, the same alcove that Adam had painted. I’d never been here, having only seen it in Adam’s painting, but he had captured the feel of it perfectly. It was sheltered, the rocks blocking any wind, so the temperature immediately felt a few degrees warmer. At the far side was a rickety old wooden staircase, winding up to the lighthouse that stood proudly on the cliff face.

  It was beautiful. While the tide swirling around the rocks would have made swimming risky, we could have come here for other things, as it was the perfect discreet location for some outdoor together time.

  Max and I sat on the sand, watching the water crash and rise above the rocks.

  “I’m gonna miss this place, Maxie. It’s been quite the life-changin’ couple of months, meetin’ your dad and you.”

  Max’s head tilted to the side, and I swear he understood every word I’d said. He inched forward, until his head came to rest on my lap.

  I sighed heavily. “I know, Maxie, I know.”

  Half an hour was long enough to be outdoors in the midst of winter, even in a sheltered location with layers of clothing on. By the time we returned to the house and the warmth of the fire, I was freezing cold, my hands like ice.

  My teeth chattered as Adam rubbed my arms, then clutched my hands in his to warm them.

  “Okay, first thing’s, first.” He took one of my frozen hands and led me toward the bedroom, then into the bathroom.

  It was gorgeous. While Max and I had been out for our walk, Adam had run a bath, but not just your average everyday bath. No, this one had bubbles with rose petals floating on top. All around the room, Adam had placed groups of candles that now cast a gentle, seductive glow. The iPod had been relocated and soft music was playing to set the mood. And the pièce de résistance, on a little stool by the side of the tub stood a bottle of champagne in an ice bucket.

  “I promised bubbles, and bubbles you will have.”

  Turning, I threw my arms around his shoulders. “Bubbles in bubbles,” I squealed excitedly. “Can I get in? Oh, wait, are you comin’ in too?” Quickly scanning the setup, I smiled
when I spied two champagne flutes.

  He grinned, making my heart melt. “Just try to stop me.”

  It was a race to see who could undress the quickest, with Adam winning due to his lack of underwear. He climbed in and swished the foam around him, before extending his hand to help me over the edge. We positioned ourselves, Adam against the end of the porcelain and me between his legs, leaning back against his chest. It was heavenly, and in no time I was thawed out and relaxed as Adam gently nibbled on my ear.

  “Champagne, my lady?”

  I chuckled. Although I was slowly getting used to Adam’s accent, every now and then he would say something that sounded completely and utterly British.

  Adam popped the cork, the sound reverberating around the tiled room, then poured two glasses.

  I took a sip. “Bubbles in bubbles. It doesn’t get any better than this.”

  “Bubbles in bubbles—with the love of your life. It doesn’t get any better than that.”

  I scanned Adam’s face, his eyes so bright and clear and his strong, whiskered jaw. No, it didn’t get any better than sitting in the tub with this adorable man.

  “Am I the love of your life?” I asked, head cocked.

  “You are the other half of me. That’s how I know we will be together again, because I can’t survive without you.”

  My heart pounded against my chest. I loved this man so much it hurt, and I believed that we would be together. Not for a few months maybe; we both had things we needed to do. But we would be together again and when that time came, I would never let him go.

  Resting my head back against Adam’s shoulder, I closed my eyes, picturing that momentous occasion. It was what romance novels revolved around, that earth-shattering, once-in-a-lifetime love, and it was now what my life had become. I chuckled, thinking that my life was what I wrote about.

  “What’s funny?”

  “We’re living in a romance novel.”

  Adam kissed my cheek. “Yes, we are.”

  We reluctantly rose from the water when it turned cold and all the bubbles had dispersed. Adam wrapped a warm, fluffy robe around me, then shrugged one on as well.

  “Should we get dressed?” I asked, trying to figure out what was coming next.

  “No, I think we can eat like this.”

  Dinner was sublime. Beef Wellington, cooked to perfection with greens and roast vegetables. Adam was an accomplished cook, and it was yet another thing I would miss.

  “I don’t know how ya do it,” I told him, patting my tummy as I swallowed the last tiny morsel I’d managed to pick off my plate.

  His eyes twinkled as he watched me lick my lips. “Do what exactly?”

  “Cook like a chef, paint like an artist, and have sex like a man-whore.”

  His head went back, the deep belly laugh filling the room. “So I’m a chef, artist, and whore all rolled into one?”

  I nodded. “Yep, you are, and I love all three of you.” I grinned. “I’m not sure which I love the most, though.”

  “Well the chef has done his job for the evening.” He took my hand, sensually kissing each finger. “Maybe the artist can extend his talents to massage as well as painting?”

  “You are multitalented.”

  Adam had already gotten the two-in-one lubricant and dimmed the lights. But this time as he arranged the blankets by the fireside, I let my robe drop to the floor, feeling quite at ease standing in the middle of the room stark naked.

  His eyes rose in my direction, a sly grin curling the corner of his lip. “So you’re not going to do a mad dash to get under the blanket this time?”

  Sauntering over to where he was kneeling, I stopped only an inch from his face. He leaned forward, cupping my butt cheeks in his hands while his lips gently caressed from my navel all the way down.

  “Hmm, this is number three on the list, right after the massage.”

  I stepped my legs apart. “Are you sure?”

  A growl rumbled up from his throat. “Unless you want to forget about the massage, but I had planned on running my hands all over your body.”

  Knowing how magnificent Adam’s hands felt, that sounded too good to pass up. Adam moved to one side and I sank to the floor in front of him, his eyes following my progress until we were facing each other.

  “Just so long as you remove your robe too,” I purred. “It’s not fair that only one of us is naked.”

  Adam’s eyes flashed with desire as he slipped the robe from his shoulders and tossed it on top of mine. I got into position; then he straddled my thighs before drizzling the oil over my back. It was freezing and I yelped, but the warmth of Adam’s caress soon heated my body as I relished the feel of his strong hands kneading my flesh. Every ounce of stress was released until I was totally relaxed and a little sleepy. Then he repositioned himself, moving farther down my legs. His hands swept lower close to my butt with every pass, then up to my shoulders again. Finally his palms reached my butt, squeezing for the briefest of moments before leaving again to knead my shoulders. His weight shifted, as he rose from my legs, but he continued to straddle them. With the next sweeping motion, his hands traveled over my butt and to my thighs where the massage turned into a leg rub.

  “Is this a full-body massage?” I mumbled into the cushion.

  “This is a full-body, inside-and-out massage.”

  My giggle was muffled, but Adam heard it nonetheless. He ran his hands up either side of my left leg so that the tips of the fingers of his right hand just brushed against my sensitive skin. I drew a short breath and wiggled my butt. Now it was his turn to chuckle as he leaned down and bit my cheek.

  “You know what happens when you wiggle that fine arse at me, Evie. I just can’t resist biting it.”

  I wiggled it again, daring him to. He did. This time the other cheek was his target as his teeth bit down with just enough force to border pleasure and pain.

  Another short breath was sucked in before I tempted fate and wiggled one more time.

  But he didn’t bite this time. Instead he leaned over me, placing one hand for balance beside my head, the other gripping my hip and raising it from the floor. Hot breath puffed onto my neck as he sucked on my earlobe. I could feel how hard he was as he slowly and deliberately rubbed against me, lifting my hips to meet him halfway.

  “I wanted to take my time tonight,” he growled, his breath fanning my cheek. “But I want nothing more than to be inside you right now.” With one simple maneuver, he had positioned himself and was pressing against my entrance. “Fuck, I want in, Evie.”

  “Not yet,” I managed to choke out. “I want to suck you first.”

  His head dropped to my shoulder, the fingers wrapped around my hip digging in. But he lifted himself off so I could roll over onto my back. The look of pure lust on his face as his eyes scanned my naked body was something I will never forget. He slowly ran his fingers up my left inner thigh, then back down my right.

  Beckoning him down to the floor, I scooted over to make space. He shook his head, laying his body on top of mine instead of beside me. Our eyes locked, before his focus shifted to my mouth.

  “Such beautiful lips.” His mouth brushed against mine. “Beautiful everything. I’ve never met anyone who’s so completely perfect.”

  Before I could dispute such a huge claim, he brought his lips down to mine once more, only this time with more force. As his tongue swept my lips apart, I laced my fingers through his hair, feeling the urgency not only in his kiss, but also in the trembling of his body. He was holding back, trying to wait for me to be at the point that he had already reached, where control was hanging by a thread.

  But I wanted tonight to last, so I forced myself to take the reins and attempt to reel him back in a little. “I wanna taste you, Adam, one last time,” I told him, my lips still against his.

  His arm wrapped around my waist and he rolled us both, the kiss never faltering until I was on top of him.

  “You’re in control, baby,” he panted, releasing his
arms so I could move if I wanted to.

  And I did want to. Slowly but surely, kissing my way down his neck to his chest, where my tongue circled each nipple. He groaned, his hand tangling in my hair but not holding me still. As I continued down his abdomen and across to his hip, his body twitched.

  “That tickles.”

  “What? This?” Light butterfly kisses traced his V from hip to center, making him twitch again. “How ’bout this? Does this tickle?” I licked up the length of him, circling my tongue around his velvety head.

  He sighed. “No, not tickle, but it feels good.”

  I smiled to myself, then did it again, and the hand that was still tangled in my locks gripped harder. I teased him until he was on the edge, but didn’t push him over. As I took him in my mouth, my hand stroking in time, he groaned, his hips lifting to meet me with every pump.

  “I’m going to miss you, Evie,” he murmured.

  I raised my eyes to find him watching me, taking in every detail and committing it to memory. When our gazes locked, he gave me a half-smile before his hand came to my chin and lifted my head.

  “I’m so close.” His head dropped back to the cushions, his chest rising and falling rapidly. “Too close.”

  With one final kiss, I worked my way back up his body until I was sitting across his lap. Reaching below me, I lifted my weight and lined him up, but he took my hand and brought it to his lips instead.

  “If you slide on now, I’m going to last about three seconds, and I don’t want to be remembered as your boyfriend who suffers from premature ejaculation. So I want to give you something instead while I settle down a bit.” He jumped up and dashed into the bedroom, returning a minute later with a gift box, beautifully wrapped in red paper and a red ribbon.

  It was gorgeous, and I felt terrible. I hadn’t bought Adam a gift; I was the worst girlfriend in the world.

  “Happy Valentine’s Day, Evie.” He handed me the box. “It’s okay if you didn’t get me anything. I know I sort of sprung this on you at the last minute.”