Shadow's Light

by Nicola Claire

  The tears streamed down my face as the scent of Michel surrounded me. So real, so true. As though he had walked this room only moments before I arrived. How could people be so cruel? But the Fey weren't people, were they? Far from it. They were creatures of another realm. They didn't share the emotions we shared. Their sole purpose in life was to manufacture their own entertainment.

  Like Lutin had once told me, fairies cared not for human emotions. They rule, they direct, they engineer whim and fancy. It's always what they can get from any given situation. They never think selflessly. And he was talking about the Ljósálfar. I dreaded to think how much worse the Dökkálfa were going to be.

  Well, I wasn't going to let them break me. I was going to fight back. I could no longer use Lutin to get back to the mortal realm, to my realm. But I could learn what I could here and use it to escape on my own. Just because I was in an enemy territory that was more foreign to me than any possibly could be, didn't mean I wasn't capable of breaking out.

  I pocketed my stake. There would come a time when I could strike back. Now was not it.

  I gingerly got to my feet and started familiarising myself with the suite of rooms they had left me in. The bedroom, where I had collapsed to my knees, was the main room, large enough to have a huge four poster bed with luxurious fabrics in browns and splashes of reds draping the sides. The floor was the same polished black stone the fort was made from, scattered with plush colourful rugs. They may have liked black and grey and white here, but they weren't opposed to spicing it up with fine furnishings and the odd snippet of colour. It gave the overall appearance of chic and sophisticated, not dank and dreary as I had first suspected.

  There was an area to the side that had a two person love seat, low lying table and open fireplace. The fire was glowing merrily. The windows were secured and I could also sense wards, so escape via there was going to be tricky. I had expected nothing less. There was a dressing room, I gave it a cursory glance, noting any clothes were well hidden behind doors. And finally, there was a bathroom. Similar to Lutin's back at the Ljósálfar castle.

  A deep claw footed bath, lots of candles, currently not lit, and oils and creams galore. They had drainage and running water, which surprised me, but the toilet facilities left a lot to be desired. I guess they fey hadn't embraced flushing loos.

  I was just walking back into the main room when the lock on the door clicked and swung open. A guard with sword at the ready peered around the door, spotted me and then stepped back to let a little fey woman come in.

  I quickly filed the fact, that my room had an armed guard outside the door, away for future reference and studied the young woman as she fluttered across the threshold. First thing I noticed was she was flying on fairly large butterfly type wings that were intricately designed like a Monarch's. Her wings beat so fast they were almost a blur, like a Hummingbird, but almost silent as she glided through the air with hardly a sound. Second thing I noticed, was she was yellow. Her skin, which was covered in a fine down of hair and her wings. All yellow. A yellow Monarch butterfly. She was beautiful.

  I stared at her, unable to think of a thing to say and watched as she delicately landed in the centre of the room and curtsied. The guard shut the door quietly, obviously satisfied I wasn't going to attack the butterfly girl any time soon.

  “Your Highness, my name is Sora. I am here to offer any service you require. Welcome to the Dökkálfa Court.” When she spoke she kept her head bowed slightly, but not enough to hide the row of sharp, pointed teeth in her petite shaped mouth.

  I tried to hide the frown that wanted to take up residence on my face. Like Mena, it would be in my best interest to befriend this girl.

  “Hello, Sora,” I said, looking directly at her. I was prepared for her to look up when acknowledged and she did, but even with that preparation I found it difficult to keep my face neutral when greeted with the pointy smile on her face.

  She didn't seem to notice. “Is everything to your satisfaction, Your Highness?”

  An indignant huff of air escaped me before I could stop it.

  “When can I leave these rooms?” I asked, deciding to go with that as the reason for my near snort. Not the fact that they had greeted me with the scent of my dead lover.

  “You cannot, Your Highness. Until the Queen calls for you.”

  “And when will that be?”

  She shook her head. “The Queen is busy, it may be several days.”

  “So, I'm to be held captive here, but she's too busy to acknowledge I exist?”

  Sora looked uncomfortable, she glanced around the room. I noticed she particularly paid attention to the shadows in the corner. Then she took a few tentative steps towards me and whispered, “I have been instructed to aid you in acclimatising to your new environment. Please, Your Highness, the shadows have ears. Do not speak ill of Queen Sofiq. She will be made aware of it and the consequences will not be to your liking.”

  She straightened up and spoke in a louder voice, as though that would cover what she had just divulged. “In here you will find an assortment of gowns. I can run a bath for you and we can dress you in attire more appropriate for our Court.”

  She swept into the dressing room and opened several cabinets. Inside, displayed on hangers side by side, was a row of gorgeous black and grey, with splashes of white, dresses. All beautifully crafted and all in hues that I would be more than happy to wear. I was keen to remove the Ljósálfar dress I had worn for the kvángask. The memory of what had happened only yesterday sent a shiver down my spine and trembles started to take up in my limbs. Part of me wanting to experience that welcoming Light sharing warmth again, another certain the whole episode meant more than I was aware of right now. I sagged against the door frame to the dressing room. Sora noticed immediately.

  “Are you unwell, Princess? Can I get you anything?” Her concern was palpable.

  “A bath,” I managed to whisper. “I need to get out of this dress.”

  She shot to action, fluttering across the room to the bathroom and I heard the sound of running water not long after. Then within seconds she was back, helping me get out of the cursed dress.

  “Burn it,” I said quietly as she led me towards the bathroom.

  “I'll see to it personally, Your Highness.”

  The smell that hit me as I entered the bathroom made me gasp. Why is it that smells can carry such pungent reactions? Mandarin wafted up from the steaming bath. I was momentarily thankful it wasn't lavender or vanilla, but mandarin?

  “Why does it smell of mandarins?” I asked, a lump forming in my throat. Mandarin had been my favourite bubble bath back in New Zealand. Michel had always run mandarin baths for me when I returned from hunting.

  Sora went to answer, her mouth opening but no sound coming out. She closed it, then tried again, receiving the same guppy fish look. She sighed, took a deep breath and said very carefully, as though choosing her words wisely, “I was told to use this product only, when running your bath. It is meant to be familiar to you and the hope was it would comfort you somewhat. Does it not please?”

  I thought about that for a moment. Being reminded of Michel was painful. His scent on arriving in the room had cut to the core. But, if what Sora was saying was true, and they were just trying to surround me with the familiar, I could breathe through the painful reminders and allow myself to relax. I wouldn't lower my guard. I've been trained too well for that. But, I would use the familiar to fortify. Just because memories of Michel were painful, didn't mean they weren't also reassuring. Michel had been my rock. It was time I started to think that way again and didn't give the memories a hard time.

  “It's all right,” I said walking further into the room. “I reminds me of home, that's all. I miss it.” I would also not give these fey the knowledge that what they were doing was reminding me of Michel. It would give them more power than they already had.

  Sora accepted my statement as fact. Which did surprise me a little, but then if she is a servant
, maybe they just don't have the luxury of calling their superiors out in a lie. She helped me into the bath and asked if I wanted to be washed. I don't know why, but the mere fact that she asked first made her rise in my approval of her. I declined the offer, but asked her to stay and talk to me. That seemed to keep her happy.

  She fluttered about the space beside the bath and then settled on a stool.

  “What would you like to discuss, Your Highness?” she asked, once she had folded her beautiful wings away behind her back.

  I couldn't stop looking at where they had been.

  “Do many fey have wings?” I asked, the first thing that came into my head.

  “Oh, yes,” she said eagerly. “But only the fīfrildi have colourful wings like ours. Most winged fey have translucent air-foil.”

  We talked about the types of winged Dökkálfa. How they differ from the Ljósálfar in shape. The Ljósálfar were more likely to be humanoid in appearance, whereas the Dökkálfa were mixed in their heritage and appearance. Then she did something that took my breath away and made my stomach flip in fear. She altered the way she looked. And suddenly, the beautiful yellow butterfly fairy who had been sitting next to my bath became a young teenage human girl.

  Complete with long yellow blonde hair, big blue eyes and creamy skin.

  “What did you just do?” My voice sounded hollow even to my ears.

  “It is a glamour. All Fey are capable of hiding their true form and blending into an environment as required.” She began to change back, a shimmer, similar to that which appears around the Fey's body when on Earth, began to move the air around her.

  “Don't change,” I demanded, sitting up further in the bath. She stopped shimmering and returned to her human faux skin.

  I studied it for a few minutes. Trying to pick up a tell. If the Dökkálfa were walking in the mortal realm as humans, I needed to be able to spot them. No matter what I did, I couldn't break the glamour. I tried to sense magic, but there was none I could tell. I tried to see a shimmer, like back on Earth, but whether or not it was missing because we were in Álfheimr and not home, I don't know. But, no matter what I did, I couldn't tell that her appearance was not real.

  I sucked in a deep breath and said quietly, “That's impressive, Sora. I guess it will come in handy when all the portals are open?”

  She cocked her human head at me and blinked. “They are already fully open, Princess. We come and go as we please.”

  I didn't say much after that. What could I say? I wanted to cry. I wanted to wail. I wanted to shout out my frustration and fear at the thought that the Dökkálfa were not only free, but roaming freely in our world. I had thought the Ljósálfar bad. How much worse were the Dökkálfa going to be?

  Sora helped me to bed, but I refused any supper. My appetite eluded me. She was genuinely concerned, but did not argue, when I simply rolled onto my side and pretended to sleep. She left after cleaning the bathroom and the soft clicking of the guard turning the lock in my door was the last thing I registered before I succumbed to fitful sleep.

  I didn't remember what I dreamt about, but I know it had been back in my world. I also know I had spent my moon-filled slumber being chased by one winged creature after another. But, I couldn't remember details, just the fear and anxiety the dream wrought.

  The next morning, Sora arrived with breakfast and a pile of books. I had been awake for a while before she ventured in. I hadn't bothered to dress, but I had managed to calm my nerves and strengthen my resolve. Today I would get answers.

  Breakfast was a combination of delicious pastries, superbly made and utterly full of taste, fresh fruit and juice. And, to my absolute wonderment, a steaming cup of coffee.

  “I didn't think you had coffee here?” I asked Sora as she bustled about the room making my bed and placing the books next to the sofa.

  “That is not from Álfheimr.” She went to say something and snapped her mouth shut. A small sigh and then, “It was brought in on request for you.”

  “You knew I liked coffee?” I asked amazed, although really, should it have been a surprise? They knew I bathed in mandarin smelling bath water.

  “We were advised,” she answered, then nodded to herself, satisfied maybe with her answer.

  I watched her for a minute then asked, “There are certain things you can't say, isn't there, Sora?”

  Her golden coloured eyes flashed up to mine and held my gaze.

  “Yes, Your Highness. My words are being restricted,” she answered carefully.

  “Why?” It was worth a try, but I already knew the answer.

  “I cannot say.” She turned away and went into the dresser, opening the cabinets and picking a dress off the rack.

  I finished the rest of my breakfast in silence and savoured the coffee for as long as I could. I wasn't sure why Sora would be restricted in what she could say to me, but I was surprised at the force of the restriction. She hadn't just been commanded to not talk of something, she literally had the words stolen from her mind. That sort of power was a little scary.

  As Sora dressed me in a finely made black and white fitted gown with full skirt, she asked what I would like to do that day.

  “Go for a walk,” I offered, hopefully. Getting an idea of my environment would be helpful.

  She smiled at me, displaying her many sharp, pointed teeth. They didn't have an effect on me anymore, they were just Sora. Nothing to be scared of. I shook my head at that thought and raised my mental shields. Always stay on guard.

  “Now, Your Highness, you know that will not be possible until the Queen says it is so.”

  “So, what is keeping the Queen so busy? Is it the war?”

  “The war is of a concern, but her generals are handling the day to day demands of that. No, the Queen is...” she paused, searching for the right words, or trying to avoid the wrong ones, “...otherwise engaged.”

  “It must be very important,” I said under my breath, but Sora had heard me and let out a huff of breath in reply.

  My head flicked up to hers, but she ducked her face away from view. Huh. She wasn't impressed with the Queen's current preoccupation, but she hadn't meant to let me see that.

  The day was spent reading the books Sora had brought in with her. She left after breakfast, but came again around noon. By then I had realised she had brought me a compilation of Álfheimr Fairy Tales. Fairies Fairy Tales. They differed from ours, but although I was unsure how much was fact or fiction, they gave me a grave understanding of the Fey.

  I devoured each and every one. I have always enjoyed a good book. Not that these were romance novels, but the subject matter was pertinent and I quickly found myself involved. By the time Sora arrived with my supper and to run my evening bath, I had read all of the six books she had originally brought me.

  “Can you get me more books?” I asked as I ate some sort of roast meat I couldn't identify and was too scared to ask what it was.

  “Of course, Princess. I shall bring more tomorrow. Are there any in particular you would like?”

  “Just whatever is as close to the truth as possible.”

  “That is not hard, we cannot lie. Not even in our works of literature,” she replied straightening the cushions on the sofa.

  “What do you mean you can't lie?” Everyone lies every now and then.

  “The Dökkálfa have not been able to tell a falsehood since we were first imprisoned by the Ljósálfar. Although we are now free, we have not been able to break that edict. Part of that is because we don't want to. We have grown accustomed to the truth. It is now a part of who we are.”

  Whoa. That sounded a little too honourable. I didn't want to think of the Dökkálfa as being trustworthy.

  “But the Ljósálfar can still lie?” I asked, wanting to get clarification on that point.

  “Oh yes. They pride themselves on mischief and shenanigans. They are quite adept at lying to get what they want.”

  Well that didn't surprise me at all.

  “Tha
t kind of puts you at a disadvantage, doesn't it?” I asked, finishing up with my meal.

  “Yes and no. They are aware we cannot tell an outright lie, but we can avoid telling the truth. If they are not paying attention, our answers to questions can be ambiguous. Often they will only hear what they are expecting to hear.”

  “You bend the truth.” Now why didn't that surprise me. Here I was beginning to side with the Dark and it was all just a charade.

  “No, not exactly. Bending would be lying, would it not? We simply avoid telling the truth, if we can. It is not always possible, but we have been doing this for centuries, we are quite proficient when need be.” I didn't doubt it. “Still, a word of advice, Princess. When asking a Dökkálfa a question, word it in such a way that only a truthful answer can be given. They can refuse to answer at all, but omission is often as telling as the truth, is it not?”

  Huh. Now that was unexpected. Sora was giving me inside information. I would have thought she'd attempt to avoid that or at the very least, whisper it away from the shadows. I wondered if Sora was beginning to like me. But, then I quashed that thought and chanted my mantra in my head. Never show fear. Never give an inch. Always stay on guard.

  The next few days were spent in my room. Sora for occasional company. Books and fairy games to break the monotony. None of which truly helped to calm my nerves or make me feel at ease. I worked hard on maintaining my walls. Not letting Sora in further than I needed her to be. I asked copious amounts of questions. I practised my wordings, asking them in just the right way that she could not avoid telling the truth. There were a few she managed to bypass with ambiguous answers. Some she refused to answer at all. But by the end of the first five days in captivity, I had a better understanding of the Dökkálfa than I had ever had before.

  In fact, I think I knew them better than the Ljósálfar. And what was truly mortifying, was that I preferred them. Sure, they were full of very nasty creatures, but from the books of fey species Sora had brought me and from drilling her with questions, I had discovered they were not all bad. But what made me like them more than the Light Fey I had encountered, was they worked by a strict moral code.